Being exhausted was a strange thing.

My eyes were heavy. They felt so strongly closed, that if something happened and needed my attention… I worried I’d be able to open them quickly enough, let alone even be able to keep them open.

Yet as tired as I felt, I wasn’t sleeping.

Which was even stranger, since the world was perfect at the moment. Perfect for sleep and slumber.

A light storm had arrived. It was making music on the tiles on the roof, and against the windowpane. There was a fresh smell in the air, thanks to the storm, and although it was a little chilly… that same coldness made lying in a bed feel all the more comfortable.

And still, although the world was perfectly creating the best possible atmosphere for me to get some good sleep… I wasn’t able to.

I’d been lying here in this bed since Renn left, and even though I knew it had been hours I had still not yet drifted off into sleep.

At this rate I’d not get any. Renn would return. She’d crawl back into bed, under the covers, and giggle as she wrapped her arms around me. It would be my fault, since I’d not move or say anything… letting her think I really was asleep… but…

The moment she did that I would get distracted. And it would become even harder to sleep…

I sighed gently, and wondered why Renn liked to touch me while I slept. It was nothing too weird, really, she just liked to touch my arms or face, but it was still strange enough to make me question her motives.

Her doing it at first, the first few times, made sense. I never let her really touch me normally, not like that, so she had simply indulged in the opportunity.

Yet she still did it. Even after doing it dozens of times. You’d think by now she’d be used to the feel of my skin, or my hair.

I sighed again, but not at Renn. Rather I sighed at myself.

Sleep, Vim. Stop thinking about foolish things.

We’d be leaving soon. Two days, maybe three. Storm or no. So I needed to sleep. I had to.

I was tired… so…

“She really isn’t talking anymore…” a girly voice filtered through the sound of the storm, from below. Someone was walking through the hallway right under my head, beneath this room.

I didn’t recognize the voice, or the one who whispered a response back… but it was clear it was likely one of the sisters. Talking about Frett’s vow of silence.

It’d likely be a hot topic for a while amongst them all.

But that was fine. Frett had made it clear to me she was doing it as a punishment. To herself. She had made a vow of five years of silence, to pay for allowing greed and desires to alter the world around her.

I didn’t agree with such an outlook, but I’d never deny her right to self improvement. If spending five years without talking was all it took to relieve Frett of the heavy burden of responsibility… then by all means. Let her live in silence. Those years would pass in the blink of an eye. For not just her, but those around her too.

It was just too bad the rest of those here didn’t understand or agree with it. Why did people have to always impose their own beliefs and rules on others?

Frett believed it was right, and it made her feel better. What else mattered…?

A low rumble shook the air and world, and I felt like nodding. Yes. Right.

Stop thinking of others and the issues of the Society. Stop thinking of anything and sleep.

Even the world was telling me to do so.

Sighing, I rolled over onto my side. Maybe it was my angle, or lying on my back.

Going still again, I tried to empty my mind. To drift off into the void of pure exhaustion that was looming, and had been for a long time now, just beyond my thoughts.

Yet although it called me, it didn’t let me in.

Doing my best to not get annoyed at myself, I peeked open an eye… at the dark world around me.

It was night. Not the dead of it, but late enough that sleeping should be something normal. The room was dark as well, thanks to the storm blocking any and all moonlight… but there was a faint glow in the room.

Buzzing not too unlike a hive of bees, in the dresser across the room from the bed I laid in… was a very faint glow of pink. It was so dim of a glow, that I knew that even Renn likely couldn’t see it. It was so faint even I almost thought it was a simple play of my tired eyes.

Miss Beak’s heart hummed quietly. It sounded distant, yet although a soft hum… it didn’t sound annoying. Nor was it the reason I wasn’t able to fall asleep. If anything its hum, mixed with the rain and idle chatter that sometimes filtered through the walls and floor, was perfect background noise for me. It was when the world was truly silent that I usually struggled with sleeping.

Yet still no sleep came.

Taking a deep breath, I noted Renn’s smell. At first such a smell would have made it impossible for me to sleep. It would have made me itchy, or rather it had in the beginning. Because it wasn’t normal. Such a wonderful scent shouldn’t exist in my bed. Yet now I found it comforting. I knew it’d not be long until when I tried to lay down to sleep, and be unable to… because I couldn’t smell Renn.

So my lack of being able to fall asleep wasn’t her fault. At least, not at the moment.

Closing my eye once more, I let my mind wander.

If trying not to think wasn’t working, then I’d think so much it’d knock me out.

I thought of the recent days. Frett. Sharp. Ursula ruffling my hair, similar to how Renn did while I slept. Abel and his weeping of a prayer in front of Tim’s grave.

Tim’s stupid smile as I killed him. He hadn’t noticed his own death. That smile had lingered on his head for hours, until I had burnt it.

The cocky bastard had pissed me off even as he burned.

The journey here. Those stupid human mercenaries, the ones I killed and the one I hadn’t. The ducks, Nann and her family. That little girl’s gleeful squeal as I gave her that little stuffed duck plushy.

Renn’s happy smile as she glared at that crocodile in that river.

Miss Beak’s death.

Landi and her Monarch. The look of pure graciousness as she took that heart from Renn. The look of utter defeat and pain as she held that sword at Renn’s neck, threatening me.

That boy. The son of bowls.

Secca. Riz crying on the floor. Fival as we tattooed that pig. Renn smirking at me as she watched me sit quietly with Mordo, sitting in silence without talking. That flee ridden dog.

The cities of plague and disaster we had passed through on our way south. The pirates, which by now should be in Lumen. Hopefully they had passed Lawrence’s and the rest’s tests. If Renn found out they had failed and been killed because of it, she’d likely never forgive me… or herself.

Herra. The gems in those crates in the Armadillo’s house…

Lumen.

That stupid proclamation by Thraxton. Brandy’s schemes.

Those human slaves Renn had befriended. The ship I had watched sink. That beautiful craftsmanship destroyed for no reason…

Little Merit.

Those creatures.

Fly and her feathers.

Brom.

I gulped as the world lit up behind my eyelids, and then roared with thunder.

The storm had intensified. Likely to mimic the chaos in my mind.

“Can’t sleep, yet tired. Can’t face my memories, yet need to as to not make the same mistakes twice. Can’t run into Renn’s arms… yet wish to, so badly…” I whispered.

A life full of contradictions. That was me.

I felt lost. And not just because I was tired… though I did feel strangely like I needed to find a bed. Even though I was currently in one. I was even under the covers!

Where does one go, when they had no where else? Not even their own mind?

“Well, you could always go home, Son,” father said gently.

Looking up at the broad shouldered man, I hesitated. “Home?” I asked.

He nodded as he frowned, and pointed to our right… though I didn’t follow his finger. I knew he wasn’t actually pointing anywhere, let alone where I should go. “A man always has a home. Even if he’s lost it. Even if he doesn’t own it anymore. If you need somewhere to go, and have no where or no one… then simply go home,” he said.

Like always my father’s wisdom sounded like a riddle, but at the same time sounded simple and without thought. “What if… I’m already home though? And yet still lost?” I asked.

Father chuckled at me and lowered his hand. “Then, Vim, you’re not lost at all. You’re simply waiting,” he said.

“Waiting…?”

He was about to answer me, but a heavy rumble shook me out of the dream.

“Hmm…” Renn grumbled in annoyance as she crept closer to the bed. I listened to her bare feet against the smooth stone as she tried to walk as quietly as possible. I heard her ears as they trembled and shook, thanks to the heavy thunder. She’s never liked thunder when it was loud.

Although I kind of wanted to wake, and see her smile, the tug of sleep was still there. Still strong. I knew if I just waited, and stayed still… the dreams would come again.

As I slipped back, I felt Renn gently brush my hair.

“Swimming in mud, were you?” Mother asked as she tugged mud out of my hair.

“Father threw me into it,” I stated.

Mother smiled at me as she flicked a chunk of mud away. “Of course he did. While you were laughing all the while, I’m sure,” she teased me.

I knew better than to argue. Not only did mother see everything, she knew me far better than I wanted to admit.

She sighed as she brushed the top of my head. “You need a bath,” she said.

“Sorry mother,” I apologized.

“Hm. Do you want a real bath, or shall I simply just…?” Mother offered to just snap her fingers, but had that smile hidden behind her calm face that told me not to indulge in her strange abilities.

“I’ll bathe mother,” I said quickly.

She nodded, and the smile that had been hidden showed itself. Though it quickly morphed into one of happy praise. “Good. Go on then.”

Turning around, to hurry to the building with the bath they had made for me… I hesitated as I found an open plain.

One that went on forever. Yet the grass was burnt and brown. Not healthy at all and…

“I do hope you know what you’re doing, Lord.”

I frowned as I turned to look at my vassal. “You always doubt me aloud, yet are the first to follow me into the fray,” I told her.

She grinned at me, showing sharp teeth. “Well duh? You’re always right. Doesn’t mean I can’t worry all the same,” she said.

I nodded as I looked back out at the plains. Over them. To our enemy in the distance. The one standing on the hill. Or well, the mountain. It was actually the tallest peak on this continent.

Our enemy just made the mountain look like a hill, being so big.

The giant creature was awash in fire. From its knees up, the giant wolf looking thing didn’t have fur; it had flames. The weirdest part was it looked almost like its skin itself was the flames. It not only had no fur, it had no flesh either. Other than its feet and mouth, it was a creature of fire. Not flesh and bone.

Typical of a God’s creation. They were always so uselessly flamboyant and rule breaking.

“Plus… even I can see how we’ll do this. I’m glad now that we’ve carried all this water here,” my second-in-command said. Her armor clanked as she turned, to look at all the massive canisters and tanks of water we had brought. Nearly a thousand miles we’d hauled them.

We had drained nearly every lake and river along the way here as to fill them.

I knew when they broke open, until they fizzled and evaporated thanks to the creature’s flames, they’d sound very similar to the rain pitter-pattering on the roof tiles above me.

Those raindrops reminded me I was in bed. But I hadn’t remembered it being so warm.

The bed suddenly felt warm. Too warm. Almost as warm as that fire-wolf had as I dug out its heart.

This warmth though didn’t boil blood. It simply warmed it. Gave it a reason to flow.

I moved a single finger, and felt one of Renn’s ribs. She was clinging to me. Her arms were wrapped around my waist, and she was snuggling into my back. A consequence of sleeping on my side. I should have expected it.

“I love you, Vim,” she whispered ever so quietly. Likely noticing my finger’s twitch.

Ah… so she hadn’t fallen asleep yet. Strange. Those dreams had felt far longer than that. I could have sworn she had returned and snuggled into bed hours ago…

Soaking in her affection, I nearly drowned out the rain and storm as I listened to her heartbeat. It was steady. Strong. Healthy. It thumped against my back, sounding louder and feeling stronger than even my own. It was steady. Strong.

Warm.

Just like blood.

Celine’s blood.

“Please…!” Celine shouted with all her heart.

Huffing as I stepped up towards her, I glared at the man standing before her. The one who had sent her to her knees. To plead. To beg.

To bleed.

“You’ve forced our hand, Celine. You have no one to blame but yourself,” the King said, his eyes never leaving her. Even as I approached, he stared at nothing but her.

Foolish of him. She may have been the cause of his kingdoms collapse, but I was here now. I was here.

“Don’t hurt her. Don’t do it…!” Celine shouted up at him.

Stopping right behind her, I glared at the man clad in black armor.

And the army behind him.

Some were on horses. Some lined alongside their shields in formations. Some were on all fours, like the horses they stood next to, yet were not horses themselves.

They held spears mostly. Their black metal gleamed in the high sun, and they created a sea of darkness. There had to be thousands of them.

A king and his massive army… all for a single woman. All to lay a single woman low.

Such a sight disgusted me.

“And you. The Saint’s Sword. You’re as much to blame as her,” the man before Celine finally addressed me, with pure hatred. He sounded more upset with me than her.

“I’ll be blamed for much more if you don’t listen to her,” I warned him.

The man scoffed, and some of the soldiers behind him began to laugh.

Yes. I was hilarious. A single man in front of an army. An army of not just men but non-humans and Monarchs alike.

I knew I looked ridiculous. Especially when I was alone… and my only companion a frail woman. A non-human, yes, but broken and beaten. Already on the ground, exhausted and half dead.

We were a poor foe for such mighty warriors. At least, by appearance.

But I’ve beaten such odds before.

I always did.

“Vim…!” Celine cried out my name, but didn’t turn to look at me. Instead she kept on glaring at the man.

“I’m here,” I told her.

Waiting for your order. Waiting for permission to…

“Vim…!”

A new cry rang out into the air, and the man and his army shifted… as if unsettled.

They had been bothered more by this new voice than the Saint’s.

Turning, I wondered just who had arrived. Who was left? Who else but me and Celine were here? I hadn’t remembered anyone else standing with us against this army. This was personal for Celine. It hadn’t been something the Society had…

Upon turning, I frowned… Instead of finding another member of the Society… I found another woman.

She too was kneeling. She too was sobbing. Weeping… and looked just as broken as Celine had, if not worse.

And although she too was kneeling in front of a man… this one was not a mighty king leading an enemy army… but instead a young boy. A lad.

A dead one. Crushed by a boulder.

“Brom…!” Renn sobbed, and the whole world heard her fragile heart shatter and break into countless pieces.

Her wail was very similar. Very telling.

That was the wail of someone who had just witnessed true tragedy… and blamed themselves for every piece of it.

Stepping towards the woman, I left behind Celine and the army that had tried to kidnap the girl she had claimed to be her daughter.

Walking over to Renn, I spared no glance to Brom. He was dead. Mangled. Lost forever. I could do nothing for him. I was not my parents.

So instead I placed my hand on the weeping woman’s shoulder. I squeezed her bloody shoulder, and felt the tremble of weak exhaustion. She was barely able to turn and look at me… Barely strong enough to even lift her head.

Yet when she did, instead of a face full of sorrow… I found one of adoration and awe.

Stunned, I hesitated at the look she was giving me. Renn was suddenly looking at me like many in the Society did.

As if I was one of the gods they so desperately worshiped.

Which wasn’t right… that wasn’t how she had looked at this moment.

“Renn…?” I barely comprehended that look. From her it made no sense. Renn gave me looks sometimes that made me stumble, and shook me to my core… but this one didn’t make sense at all.

Renn knew I was no god. She knew I was but a man. She loved me not as a being of divinity but as a companion.

So…?

A tiny cry alerted me that I was holding something, and I glanced down to the bundle of cloth. To the baby boy wrapped within them as he tried to reach out and grab at me.

Ah. The boy. The human. The one given to me thanks to his mother fearing the plague. The one before Renn met Landi.

This was why Renn had that look. She had been so happy I had accepted the boy… so glad I’d allowed it and…

Turning to Renn, to smile at her and hand her the boy… I found her gone.

A large creature shifted behind me, and I moved the boy a little. To cover him with my arms and shoulders. As to shield and protect him from any unsuspecting attack from behind or…

“Really, Vim. You slaughtered them. Killed them all,” Miss Beak said.

Turning around, I smiled up at my friend. She shuffled herself as she sat down, her feathers fluttering in the light winds that were common in her salt-flat home. “I did,” I said proudly.

Beak nodded, and blinked slowly. “You had. To save them. To free them,” she added.

“Yes.”

“So don’t be surprised when those you saved eventually return the favor, Vim. Fate likes to repeat the same story often and…” Miss Beak’s words faded as I opened my eyes.

Taking a deep breath, I let it out slowly. The cold morning air was sharp. It chilled my lungs a little, and I could hear the chirping of the birds outside. They were complaining too, trying to tell the sun to hurry and rise faster as to warm them.

At least the storm had passed…

“Mhm…” Renn squeezed me tighter, and I frowned at her sleeping face.

Hadn’t I been sleeping on my side…?

I was lying on my back again. I must have rolled over in my sleep. Hopefully I hadn’t squished Renn upon doing so. She had been clinging to my back, hadn’t she?

She was drooling a little, which wasn’t too surprising. I’ve come to realize she did such a thing when really happy. As if her dreams were full of food and joy when she was without worry or stress, and thus it made her hungry.

The single ear I could see, since the other one was tucked under her head and in the pillow, fluttered against my shoulder. It tapped me in a way that told me it had been the reason I had awoken. It kind of felt like when someone poked and patted me, as to wake me gently.

Funny.

Oh well. I actually felt better. I could still feel the slight pull of sleep, but it was not anywhere near as bad as it had been last night.

Though it was starting to become clear that I was starting to need sleep on a more constant basis. Maybe I should start sleeping every night, if even only for a few hours.

Renn at least would like that. Plus it’d do her good. Thanks to the fact she always tried to keep up with me, she usually strained herself past her limits. When I went days without sleep, Renn tried to do the same. Not every time, of course, but it was often enough that it had affected her. It was why when traveling she sometimes crashed upon reaching our next location.

She wanted so badly to be like me. To keep up with me. It made me feel like a jerk to make her suffer and struggle.

Her tail tightened around my right leg, reminding me it had again coiled around me.

I didn’t mind… it wasn’t like her tail made me itch or anything… but it worried me.

I was not normal. I was too strong for my good. What if one day I leapt out of bed for some reason, not aware her tail was coiled around my leg, and I tore it off her in the process?

I’d never be able to forgive myself. Especially since I doubted Renn would be able to grow another.

But how was I to tell her of such a fear? How could I properly explain it?

Renn would understand; I had no doubt… but…

I kind of liked how she let it wrap around me. She did it when asleep. Which meant it was some kind of instinctual desire to touch me. Even if it was something she did to anyone she slept with, it still made me feel all the more special and important.

So I wanted her to stop, as to make sure I’d never accidentally hurt her… yet I also wished her to continue doing so all the same.

When’d I become so selfish?

Slowly reaching up with the hand she wasn’t clinging to, I rubbed my face.

Both to wipe away any sleep that remained, and to try and clear my head.

I could remember the dreams I had just lived through, again.

They bothered me. And not because some had been moments in my life that had hurt. Rather…

Renn was starting to really become a constant. I’d begun to notice half of my dreams had her in them, in one shape or another.

In hindsight that might be normal… since she and I were constantly together nowadays… but I was not normal. I was not a normal man.

As far as I could remember… I hadn’t dreamt of Celine until after she died. And I had known her for hundreds of years.

Which meant that my dreaming of Renn already, after only a few years of knowing her… well…

It meant Renn was far more precious to me, especially deep down, than I’d likely ever admit.

And it meant that Celine hadn’t been at all. Even though I had tried to make her so.

Somehow that made me feel like an asshole.

Renn shifted, burying her face deeper into my arm and shoulder. I felt the slimy drool get wiped all over me in the process. It must have started tickling her.

She didn’t wake however, even as she released a nice little sigh as she finished and relaxed.

I kept my eyes off her, and at the ceiling above me. It was hard.

This really was hard. In more ways than one. Why’d she have to be so adorable? Why’d she have to be so…

Well…

Then I heard something odd. Something that shouldn’t exist. Not here, at least. Not in this forest, far from any other soul.

Noises from outside.

I turned my head, and did my best to ignore both Renn’s snoring and Miss Beak’s buzzing heart. I did my best to ignore the bird’s chirping, or the light wind that was following after the storm that had just passed through. I ignored the faint dripping of rainwater, and the sound of Renn’s tail beneath the blanket.

Instead of the world around me, I focused… and heard the heavy and quick footsteps.

Slowly sitting up, I leaned upward as I stared at the window… doubting my own ears.

Then I heard the huff. The heavy breath.

Yes. Someone was outside. And not for good reason.

Reaching over, I patted Renn on her side. I pushed the blanket off, and regretted it.

She was naked again.

“Renn,” I gently said her name, and shook her a little as I tried to tug my arm from her hold.

She groaned as she pulled herself out of slumber. She glared at me with tired eyes as her tail tightened around my leg. “What…?” she asked weakly.

“Let me up. Someone’s here,” I said.

“Huh…?” she blinked, and I saw she was trying to fight off the sleep still pulling her back into her happy dreams.

“Someone’s outside. Running to us,” I told her. Their footsteps were getting louder, thanks to splashing in the puddles left from the rain.

“Outside…?” Renn finally realized I was being serious, and sat up. Her tail quickly uncoiled around my leg, going flat against the bed beneath us.

Once free from her grip and tail, I rolled off the bed and stood.

“I’ll handle it,” I told her as I hurried to the door.

There was no point checking the window. Our room overlooked the inner courtyard. We’d not be able to see anyone outside the building itself, we were blocked by the walls and spires.

“Vim…!” Renn called out to me as I left the room. I shut the door behind me, a little too harshly, and then hurried down the hallway.

It didn’t take me too long at all to descend to the first floor and head for the entrance. Yet although it had only taken me a minute and a half or so, it had been long enough to let the dim morning light become a little brighter. A little stronger.

Approaching the front door, I heard the individual clearly now. They were heading straight for the door.

The oddest thing was they were not only alone… but on foot. Not horseback.

Grabbing the door handle, I pulled it open and readied myself for an attack. A spear or something like it.

Instead I found Oplar.

She skidded to a stop. “Vim!” she shouted in alarm, shocked.

Relaxing, I sighed at the bear and shook my head.

I could have stayed in Renn’s embrace.

“Don’t sigh at me! I’ve been looking for you!” Oplar hurried up the few stone steps to the door.

“Have you?” I asked as I stepped back to let the bulky woman in. She was made bulky by her thick clothes and packs she carried.

She huffed at me, and I noted the mud and gunk she tracked in. She not only had run through nearly every puddle along the path… but had likely run through the storm itself. She was soaked.

Good thing she was wearing such thick bear leather. I knew beneath her cloak she was dry as could be.

Before shutting the door behind her, I glanced down the path and into the dense forest… which was still dark. The morning sunlight had gotten brighter, but hadn’t gotten strong enough just yet to break their through their dense crowns.

She was alone. No one was behind her… or if they were, they were far behind.

“I’m alone,” Oplar told me as I shut the door.

I nodded at her and glanced her up and down again. To make sure she was fine. It was hard to tell, since she wore a thick cloak of bear fur, but I didn’t see or smell any wounds upon her.

“I’ve got news, Vim. It’s bad,” Oplar said quickly, stepping up to me.

Frowning at her, I glanced to our left. To the one hurrying down the hall towards us.

Renn. Hastily dressed.

Oplar didn’t even glance away from me as to look at the approaching woman, who she would usually be very interested in meeting. Oplar loved stories. And I knew by now she had heard much of Renn. Who knows what kind of crazy stories she’s heard from everyone about her. Usually Oplar would ignore me completely as to focus on the source of such wonder and gossip…

The fact she ignored Renn completely, to focus on me… made me realize how serious it was.

“What is it…?” I asked carefully as Renn slowed as she neared us. I heard her footsteps in the stone building echo. She had put on shoes, but I didn’t hear any socks.

Oplar shifted, causing the wet mud on her boots to squish and make odd noises. She frowned at me, and hesitated.

Oplar. The story chaser. The woman in search of mysteries and legends…

Scared to share one.

“Oplar…?” I asked, now worried.

What had happened? What bad news was she about to share, and thus break both my and Renn’s heart?

The bear gulped, and then sighed. “A vote. One’s been called. A summons,” she said.

Calming down a little, I nodded. A vote? That was all?

Don’t scare me like that. I had thought she was about to tell me something terrible had happened… not a vote of all things.

What was the Society complaining about now? My bet was on Lumen. Someone was probably upset with the way it was going, or something.

About to smirk, and tell her how worried I had just been… Oplar then sighed and shook her head at me. “I’m sorry Vim. I don’t know how to say it…” she then said.

“Hm?”

Oplar glanced to Renn, who stood up straighter. Her ears fluttered, and she was about to smile and introduce herself… but Oplar looked back at me… with a sad look. One that had made even Renn’s happy demeanor fizzle and die.

It was clear that Oplar didn’t want to say it.

She flinched… and nodded, and took a deep breath. Then she stared me in the eyes, with a look of pure defeat.

“Out with it already,” I ordered.

“The Society is going to vote, Vim. On if you’re allowed to keep your position as protector or not.”

Of course.

After all…

A monarch never truly rests until they’re dead.

Source: Webnovel.com, updated by NovelKeep