What to say?

Standing next to Vim, we were looking down at a small stone tombstone. One half hidden by grass and weeds.

I didn’t… couldn’t… see any words, or symbols even, etched or carved into the stone… it was just a finely cut and shaped stone. It was in the same shape as many others in the cemetery, though lacking in the obvious dedications the others all had.

Though… That might just be thanks to time and the weather. After all if this was the grave of his parents then…

It was a miracle the stone still existed. The stuff carved onto it being weathered away was sad, but not surprising.

With a stiff neck I glanced to my left, at Vim. He was frowning in thought as he stared at the gravestone, as he had been since we stopped in front of it.

We had climbed this mountain, which had been a small distance from the Crypt, for about an hour as to get here. We had passed through a rather dense section of forest, around a large pond, and under a strange archway of rocks… like a cave that had been cut in half. A tunnel almost.

As far as I could tell, we were about halfway up the mountain. We were overlooking the dense forest all around us, and… Past the gravestone was a sudden drop. Down the mountain Vim and I had just ascended. I couldn’t see it anywhere, thanks to the dense forest beneath us, but I knew the Crypt was down there somewhere.

There were a few trees nearby. Even though this area was rather rocky. One had roots threatening the grave. It was emerging and digging into the grassy earth, headed straight for the stone. Around the trees and us, on this small outcropping ledge was a small field of flowery grass. The flowers were honestly not that pretty, some kind of white tulip, but the overlooking view of the forest in front of us made up for the lack of pretty flowers.

It was a strange spot to have buried his parents honestly. There were many prettier places around here. We had passed through several flower meadows that had been breathtaking. The kind of places I’d have painted.

Vim sighed and looked away from the stone, and out at the forest expanse beyond it. From up here it was interesting to see all the mountains all around us. We really were secluded.

“Vim…?” I asked softly.

“Yeah… I know. I’m a bad son. No names. No verse. No homage. Just a stone,” Vim said.

I gulped, I hadn’t meant that at all. “Um…” I wasn’t sure what to say.

So the reason the stone was bare was because he had done it on purpose. It wasn’t because they had simply faded from time.

Vim took a tiny breath and gestured at the stone. “They’re obviously not buried here. But when I was first helping build this place, years ago… I had a moment of weakness,” he told me.

“This isn’t a weakness, Vim,” I said.

“Yes it is. I was too ashamed to make a proper one. And even more so… look at this place. Way out here. No one else knows about it. Or well… other than that walking thorn…” Vim grumbled.

Walking thorn… “Sharp…?” I asked.

He nodded. “She found it not long after I brought her here. She’s an odd one. Not sure how she found it to be honest,” he said with a frown.

Huh… Oh. Speaking of that strange girl who was able to cut and hurt people just by touching them…

I reached down to grab his hand. At first he tried to take my hand, but I squirmed my hand out of his and brought his up. To open his hand, and check his palm.

“It’s healed already,” he said as I checked him for any wounds.

“Mhm,” I accepted they were as I found a healthy, undamaged, hand.

Once I was sure his hand was fine, I went to slip my own into it. As an apology for not taking his hand when he had so obviously thought I had been about to.

“You’re a secretive man Vim. You’ve said it yourself you do it on purpose. So hiding the grave isn’t that shameful,” I said as I squeezed his hand.

“Yes it is Renn. Don’t try to dress up my cowardice with pretty words,” he said.

“They weren’t that pretty… but can I ask why you hid it?” I asked.

“It’s as you said. I didn’t want people knowing.”

I frowned as I studied the dark stone. “What’d Sharp say about it?” I asked.

“She just asked whose it was. I told her I made it for someone important, who hadn’t been a member so I hadn’t thought they deserved a place in the cemetery,” he said.

My face scrunched up. “Quite a fib, Vim,” I said.

“It was, wasn’t it?” he agreed.

After all it really was. His parents had obviously not been members. At least…

“So your parents hadn’t been members?” I asked.

He chuckled. “No.”

“I know you joined later in life, Vim, but you’ve not told me when they… died. So I didn’t know if they joined with you or not,” I said.

“Ah. That is true,” he nodded.

“Plus I’d think anyone would be allowed to be buried there, Vim. It’d be strange for that religion to turn someone away just because they hadn’t been members of our Society,” I said.

“You’d be surprised. Everyone buried there are members Renn. Every last one,” he said.

I blinked as I thought of the cemetery, and the smaller ones scattered around the Crypt. Hidden behind orchids and trees.

There were hundreds of graves.

“How… how? Or are they like theirs…? With a tombstone, but not actually buried there,” I asked as I pointed to his parent’s gravestone.

He nodded. “There are more buried there than you think. But yes, most are empty graves.”

I made a tiny vow to spend some time in the cemetery before leaving. To remember as much of it as possible. The names, particularly.

“So… um… Vim…” I shifted, and glanced at the man whose hand I was holding.

“Hm?” he tilted his head, but didn’t look at me. He was looking at the grave.

A far off noise told me that a storm was approaching, and I realized some of the flowers were swaying a little strongly.

The wind had picked up. It was kind of cold.

I had smelled it on the wind this morning, so it wasn’t that much of a surprise… but…

Why now? That meant Vim would likely make us leave shortly. He was still worried for my health. Ever since I got sick he’s been notably more cautious with me, to the point it was actually a little bothersome.

I loved being so tenderly cared for… but…

“I know you and your parents hadn’t gotten along Renn… but I had been blessed with wonderful parents,” Vim then said, before I could gather my nerve.

Instantly abandoning all thoughts of anything else, I focused on Vim.

He sighed. “They taught me… everything. Not just knowledge of the world… but morality. Ethics. How to be a good man. Although I’ve never followed those teachings well,” he said.

I gulped down a retort… since I knew Vim didn’t want to hear me argue with him right now. He simply wanted to talk.

He lifted our hands, so he could point at the stone. “That stone is uh… special. It’s a type of stone that can’t be found anywhere else. If you ever need a rock that’s quite literally unbreakable, there it is,” he said.

“Unbreakable…?” I asked.

He nodded.

“It’s cut to shape, Vim,” I said.

He smirked. “It is. But that’s because the one who created it had cut it. Not even I could break that stone, Renn.”

“Wait… so that’s why it’s blank…? It’s not because you intentionally left it blank?” I asked.

He nodded. “I can’t carve it either. But that’s not an excuse, Renn, I could have just used a normal stone,” he said.

I shook my head. “If it’s special because it’s related to your parents somehow… then no. That’s a wonderful reason to use it and not anything else,” I said.

“Hm. You become very agreeable when it’s something sentimental huh?” he teased me.

“Only sometimes. I was about to add that you could have at least made this place prettier, or fancier. If you won’t put their names or anything, at least make the area around it nice… Plus it looks like a spot that could easily have a rock slide or something, and destroy it,” I said as I glanced behind us, and up the mountain that loomed a few feet away.

“It happened once. This actually used to be a larger flat area. I had to unbury it. I gave up half way through, this place should be twice as open,” he said.

Ah… that made a lot of sense. It did actually look like it kind of just… became strangely steep not too far away from here. Even though there had been a somewhat even path up to this point. Though the steep mountainside was covered in moss, grass and even had trees scattered along it. The landslide he spoke of must have happened a long time ago.

“Is the… rock special?” I asked.

“No more than anything else my parents created,” he said in a way that told me that even if the rock was important, to him it wasn’t.

I squeezed his hand. “They made you, Vim,” I reminded him.

He frowned, and thought of my words for a moment… then smiled. “Only you would say such a thing so instantly,” he said.

Wanting to argue, I sighed at him. “Did your parents not value things, Vim?” I asked.

He shifted a little. “Things…? Like material items? I guess, in a way,” he said carefully.

“So you’re indifference to them isn’t something you inherited,” I reasoned.

“Ah… I see. No. In fact… out of all the things my parents had made, I only have three of them. Or well, I only know where they are at least. One is this rock,” he said with another point at it.

“The other two?” I asked.

“One’s sealed beneath the Cathedral. I’ll show it to you when we go back. The last is in my friend’s stomach. The giant turtle I told you about? The Monarch that’s sleeping on the bottom of the sea? She ate it for me,” he said.

“Was it a heart?” I asked.

The moment I did, I felt a huge rush of heat flash to my face. Not because I was embarrassed, but because of how boldly I had asked such a question.

Vim noticed, of course, but instead of sighing at me… he instead grinned at me and chuckled. “What’s with that blush?” he asked me.

“I don’t know,” I grumbled as I looked away from him. Gosh my face felt even hotter now.

He laughed at me for a moment, and then squeezed my hand. Gently. “No. It isn’t a heart. It was actually something my mother made, a tiny little trinket. The thing was a toy. Designed as a test for me. One of my mother’s strange methods of teaching. However… although made with the right intentions, it is dangerous. It radiates a poison that kills practically anything. And it will do so for a very long time. My friend, her ability as a Monarch, allows her to survive such poison. She agreed to eat it, so I didn’t have to worry over it getting lost and causing problems,” Vim explained.

Feeling bad now for assuming, and teasing him, I reached up to scratch behind my ears. “That’s nice of her,” I said.

“Mhm… my hope is if, or when, she dies… the thing gets stuck inside her corpse or shell. We’ll see,” he said.

“How or why did your mother make a toy that was so dangerous?” I asked.

He shrugged… and did so in a way that told me not to press further.

So I didn’t, and focused on something else.

“Then this stone is precious, Vim. What if someone takes it or something?” I asked.

He smirked. “No one can lift that stone, Renn. Other than me.”

Oh.

Studying the thing… I wondered if he’d be offended if I tried to lift it.

“Go ahead,” he said lightly.

I shook my head. “I believe you Vim. Plus I don’t want to let go of your hand right now,” I said.

He huffed at me, but I noticed his smile out of the corner of my eye.

For a long moment we were silent… even though the distant storm wasn’t doing the same. It rumbled deeply.

“Want to talk about them…?” I offered Vim another chance, since he had gone quiet.

“Not really,” he said simply. Although sad to hear him say so, I was glad at least he didn’t sound depressed or upset.

“Then… want to talk about the dream you had last night?” I asked instead.

Vim’s arm shifted, but he didn’t squeeze my hand. “Was that your attempt to make me talk about my parents?” he asked me.

“No. Just an offer,” I said gently.

He chuckled. “Still… which would I prefer, I wonder…?” he asked himself as he thought about it.

Patiently waiting, I watched the way his eyes narrowed and his smile turned into a tiny smirk.

Which would he pick…?

“I dreamt of the wars. A particular moment of them. It had been hard. Harsh. I had to do something that made me so sick to my stomach I think I had an actual heart attack,” Vim then said.

I gulped. “I um…”

He smiled and nodded. “I know. You don’t want to hear about such sad things. And to be honest I’d rather not really talk about it either. It’d just ruin the moment,” he said.

Squeezing his hand, I wished I was stronger. Wiser. More than I was… so I’d know what to say here and now, to let him know it was okay. That everything was going to be okay.

“The wars were that bad, Vim…?” I asked. He and a few others have mentioned them… but I hadn’t realized Vim had been so involved in them.

“Huh…? Oh… The war I’m talking about is before the Society, Renn. A different war,” he said gently.

A little stunned to hear that, I tried to process the new information.

So even before the Society… Vim had fought in wars…?

For who? Why?

“Who had you been fighting, Vim?” I asked softly.

“Does it matter Renn…?” he asked just as softly back.

A little hurt, I shook my head. “I suppose not,” I admitted.

“Hm…” he nodded.

Some birds flew past overhead, swooping down in front of us as they descended. To fly out over the forest below.

They were likely fleeing the storm heading our way.

“My nightmares are either finding Nory dead, or captured. Or they’re me… um…” I hesitated, as I tried to find the proper words to describe the other ones.

“Guilting me by making me feel bad will work, but are you really going to do it, Renn?” Vim asked softly.

Startling, I turned to gape at him. “I wasn’t trying to guilt you! I… I want to share with you. So you’ll share with me,” I said quickly.

He smirked at me. “I know, I was just trying to make the heavy air feel a little less so,” he said.

My mouth curled as it wanted to frown, yet smile at the same time. “Don’t do that, jeez,” I mumbled.

He nodded, and went quiet.

I sighed softly. “If they’re not about Nory, it’s my family. Either them dying, or me being thrown into that pit,” I told him.

“A pit…?” Vim asked softly.

“They used to throw me into a deep pit. Basically an old, dried up, well. When I was being punished. I didn’t like it,” I said.

Vim took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. His hand tightened just a tad around my own, and I noted that it had likely been hard enough of a squeeze that a human would have likely flinched.

“Yes. That’s why I don’t like wells, by the way,” I told him.

“You… don’t?” he asked.

I nodded. “Even drawing water from one can make me panic sometimes. I mean… it’s not so bad I can’t do it. I just don’t like it. Really… haven’t you noticed? It’s why I always let you do it,” I said.

Vim frowned, likely going through his memories to see how often it had happened.

Before he could finish, I shook his hand a little. “Also… did you just get really angry? Over what I said?” I asked.

He nodded. “Very.”

Smiling at him, I felt warm again even though a cold wind was blowing.

This robe really wasn’t very warm now that I realized it. At least it was heavier near the bottom, so it didn’t flutter and flap in the wind.

“Though it’s funny isn’t it? My dreams are from long ago too. Other than Nory dying… but most of my nightmares concerning her are when she was younger. When she had gotten captured. Yours are from before the Society, so they’re older too…” I said as I pondered the reason for it.

“Fresh memories still linger and hurt, they don’t need to intrude the dreams. They terrorize us enough while we’re awake,” Vim said.

“That’s true… until you get traumatized by something, and it haunts you from the first night,” I said as I remembered the long months with little to no sleep after taking Nory home, after the ordeal. I hadn’t been able to sleep at all thanks to the terrible nightmares.

Vim shifted and then nudged me with his elbow. Very gently. “For me lately though waking up has been scarier than my dreams,” he said.

I glared at him as I tried to comprehend how he was teasing me.

Once it clicked, I couldn’t help but smirk at him. “You do flinch sometimes when you wake up and see me,” I told him.

“Do I?” he asked, surprised.

I nodded. “It’s subtle, but I notice it.”

Although I wanted to tease him about how he’s lately been touching me in his sleep… I kept my mouth shut.

Knowing Vim, if I told him he was doing it, he’d stop. If anyone could control themselves in their sleep it was him, so I wasn’t going to risk it.

I enjoyed the way he searched for me in his sleep. And how he breathed a tiny sigh of relief upon finding me, usually by grabbing my hand or arm. It was such a silly little thing but…

“Your parents, Vim… I know you don’t want to really speak about them… but um… Your mother. Was she pretty?” I asked.

“Hm…? I’m not sure. I’ve been told my father was very handsome. I guess my mother had been pretty, but,” Vim shrugged as he decided he wasn’t sure or not.

“Your father was handsome…?” I asked.

He nodded. “So they said,” he said.

I wanted to ask who these people were that had known them, but knew better. He’d not answer that. Not yet.

Instead I focused on something else.

“So you took after your mother more than your father, huh?” I asked.

Vim paused a moment… then smirked. “I walked into that one.”

Giggling at him, I shook his hand a little. “You’re crafty Vim, but can you paint or draw?” I asked.

He tilted his head. “You mean draw my parents…?” he asked, understanding what I wanted.

I nodded.

“I’m terrible at it. Carving and molding something is more… physical. It lets me attack something from all the different angles. Not just a single dimension. But, there are ways around that,” he said.

“Oh…?” I grew excited.

He nodded. “I could guide you as you draw them. Some descriptions, trial and error, and so forth,” he said.

“Yes…!” I grew excited at the idea, and stepped closer to him.

Vim glanced at me, and then smiled and nodded. “Not here though,” he said.

“Okay…! Sure! Just let me know when,” I said, excited to try it out.

Not only would it be great to see, even if just roughly, what his parents had looked like… it’d also be immensely enjoyable to paint something with him. Together.

What a lovely idea to spend time together. Why hadn’t I thought of it before?

Enjoying the moment… I basked in the happy future heading our way. Or at least, the hope of it.

“Though… I suppose there are other ways to show you…” Vim then mumbled.

“Hm?”

“Next time we’re at the Cathedral. I’ll point them out,” he said.

“Point out whom?” I asked. Was there someone that looked like his parents there? I quickly tried to think of those I’d met and saw…

Vim chuckled. “Not someone, but something. You’ll have to agree to never let anyone know, though,” he said.

I tilted my head at him. “Is it possibly one of those paintings? The ones Hands look after?” I asked.

Vim went still, for a tiny moment. I noticed his hair that had been slightly swaying in the light wind had come to a complete stop… then the moment passed.

“You saw those, did you?” he asked softly.

Shifting, I gulped as I stared at the man who now looked sad. More sad over realizing I had seen those paintings than he was seeing his parent’s grave.

“I only saw one. Hands hadn’t let me look at any of the others,” I said honestly.

“Ah… funny. Which one had it been? Hands is weird, so it’s hard to know which he had shown you,” Vim asked.

Doing my best to not let Vim feel my worry, I nodded. “One of you,” I told him the truth.

He frowned. “Which one?” he asked.

There were multiple…? “You were in armor. Before an army,” I said.

“Ah…” he sighed as he nodded.

“You looked very handsome there, by the way,” I said.

He scoffed. “Sure. But no. I didn’t mean the paintings. Did you see the hallway of motifs and statues?” he asked.

I shook my head. I had seen plenty of statues but… a whole hallway of them? I couldn’t remember seeing one.

“Next time then. And while you’re looking at them, I’ll go bury Hands in a termite mound. Teach him to stick his grubby little hands where they don’t belong,” he said.

I sighed. “He had been terrified you’d see him showing me. Would you actually do that to him?” I asked.

“Well…” Vim shifted, and I knew he wouldn’t. He just was upset.

“One day you’ll not be so bothered to let me see and know about you Vim, I promise,” I told him.

Vim glanced at me. “Hm…” he said with a tiny nod of the head.

Smiling at him, I nodded back.

He took a small breath as to sigh as he looked away, back to the grave.

“Want to make one before we leave, Renn?” Vim then asked.

Before I could ask what he meant, he pointed in front of us. To the ground.

“Huh…?” Make one? A grave?

He nodded. “For… your family,” he whispered.

Oh…

I gulped, and my tail coiled beneath the robe. “Uhm… well…” I wasn’t sure how to say it. I wasn’t even sure how to even think about what I wanted to say, or feel.

“Oh. I uh… I more so meant Nory, and the siblings, Renn,” Vim spoke up, intruding into my mind as it started to panic.

Immediately that panic came to an abrupt stop. Washed away by his words.

Smiling as my eyes began to water, I quickly nodded. “Oh yes. I do. Very much so,” I said.

“Hm… we’ll carve the stone together. And I promise to not force you to leave it blank, too,” he said.

My smile grew as I sniffed. “I’d appreciate it… I actually made a grave for Nory… it had been sad now that I think about it. Especially after seeing some of the ones here. Hers had just been a couple of plank sticks for a cross,” I said.

“I’ve made many of those,” he said gently.

Blinking watery eyes, I glanced at him. He smiled in a way that told me he not only understood… he was hoping I’d feel better hearing so.

“Mhm,” I nodded at him.

“Plenty of room here. Bet we could fit a couple dozen at least,” Vim then said.

“Let’s not,” I groaned a happy cry.

He chuckled at me, and I stepped forward. I snaked my hand out of his, as to wrap him in a hug.

Vim not only allowed it… he reciprocated. Feeling strangely warm, even as the cold wind picked up, I snuggled into him as tiny sobs tried to break free, but his chuckling kept them at bay.

“We’ll make new ones for your parents too,” I said as I squeezed him.

“Yeah, let’s not,” he said.

Smiling, I buried my face into him as a rumbling sound echoed above us.

The storm was here. Likely would be drenching us before we made it back to the Crypt.

But that was fine. He was warm. And my heart and soul were too, now.

It wasn’t often Vim let me hug him. Really hug him, like this. And it was even rarer that he’d actually wrap me in a hug back.

Although a little sad that it usually took… such sentimental moments… for this to happen… I still enjoyed every moment of it.

“So…” Vim then said.

“Hm?” I clung to him harder, since I knew he had likely just decided enough was enough.

“I can either carry you back. And run. As to avoid the torrent about to hit us… or we can both get soaked as we go back normally,” Vim said.

Sniffing, I turned my head a little, as to see the sky. It was indeed suddenly much darker. And now that my nose wasn’t pushed up against him, I could smell the heavy rain nearby.

“If we get soaked, can we take a bath together?” I asked. The baths here were separated. Entirely. They were in two different buildings, on purpose. So that there was no chance for any mistakes. I knew only part of it was because of the religion aspect, though… since several members here like Sharp weren’t necessarily followers of the faith here. Our room didn’t have a proper bath. Though I had noticed Ursula’s did… but her having one made a lot of sense, really.

Vim sighed at me.

“Well, considering you’ve already gone and told them all you’re my wife, we probably could yes,” he said as the sky rumbled.

Grinning happily, I nodded in victory.

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