“If she doesn’t return shortly, she likely will be with me for a bit. We might not be back for a few months,” I told Rivonne.

The noblewoman had a bit of a pouty face on, but she was obviously understanding as she nodded… even if a tad reluctantly. “I understand… thank you, Lord Vim, for telling me. I promise to keep an eye on your people while you’re gone,” she said, again agreeing to what I requested of her.

“Thank you. Honestly they should be more than fine on their own… but Renn would be upset with me if I didn’t at least make sure of it,” I said.

Rivonne giggled at that. “She would be…! She really adores those people!”

Yes… she did.

“I’ve told Randle to keep in contact with you, just to be sure. Odds are you’ll not have to do anything, but in the off chance you do just use your best judgment or refer to Randle. He’s like Bird, a wise man,” I said.

“Oh…? That one-armed reverend is like Lord Bird?” Rivonne perked up at that, now very focused on the topic at hand.

Woops. I probably should have specified a… wait…

Deciding to let the woman make that tiny misunderstanding, since it wasn’t too far off, I went ahead and nodded. “He’s someone you can trust, yes. As insufferable as he can be sometimes,” I said.

Rivonne grinned and giggled at that. “I’ve heard plenty of the tales of you and grandfather getting into trouble!” she said happily.

Wonderful. Hopefully she hadn’t shared too many of those stories with Renn… “Yes… I’m glad my wife isn’t as rambunctious,” I said.

Well, that wasn’t true. Renn did in fact get into trouble often… just not that kind of trouble.

At least not yet. I’ve not had to pull her out of pyres or from under corpses yet, at least.

“That’s funny, since I think Renn’s quite playful! I bet she’s always causing mischief!” Rivonne said as I stood. It was time I left.

I sighed at that. “Well, she is a cat I guess,” I admitted.

Rivonne found that delightful, and had smiled and giggled as I bid her my farewells and left her castle. I retreated before she could ask anything too important, and because I really did need to get moving on.

Heading deeper into SilverCreek, I wondered if there was anything else I needed to do. I planned to leave shortly, as to deliver the important letters to Renn that Coin had brought… but honestly I was a tad hesitant.

I had much to do here… and I feared the result of delivering said letters, too. If they were as important as Coin made them out to be, then who knows what was going to happen. What if I got involved in some grand issue that took months or years to handle…? Then I’d not be able to enjoy Renn and her new home and…

“Stop, Vim,” I whispered at myself, keeping me from thinking of things that made me angry. The mere thought of me missing out on watching Renn slowly make her new home, while surrounded by friends and whatnot was infuriating. The kind that almost made me want to do something stupid.

We were supposed to have children, weren’t we? So said their stupid prophecies…?

How was that supposed to happen if fate kept separating us? And put us in positions where such a thing became either difficult or impossible…? And what of me being there for it all? Was fate not going to let me stick around and be there throughout her pregnancies? What of when the children are born? Will I be there during their upbringing, or will I be off on some stupid request… only to return later…?

The thought of me not being there to see my child’s birth, or important little moments thereafter, made me sick to my stomach. I was used to leaving homes, like those in the Society, and returning years later to find the children fully grown… and it was normal for me. One did not live as long as I have and not grow accustomed to such things. But would I really have to experience that with my own children? It was bad enough that I’d likely outlive them all… but to also not get to enjoy their upbringing? To not watch them grow old? To not get to be a parent, and to only occasionally see them here and there when I could in-between my duties?

Plus what of Renn? I personally had no doubt she’d be a wonderful mother, and could likely raise children on her own with ease. But… was I really going to force her to endure such a thing? Even if she had all her friends and family around her, such as Merit and the rest… should I not be there for her?

I’d not be able to, though, if I kept being the protector of the Society. I’ve only been here for a little over a month and already the world was forcing me away. And true chaos hadn’t even set in yet. Once the other ships arrived, with the rest of the inhabitants of the other continent, and all the other prophecies began to fulfill themselves… those moments I got of peace and rest would only grow more and more rare.

If the undersea volcano really did erupt soon, that too would make it even worse. To the point I’d likely only get to return here and see Renn, and my children, once maybe every few years at best…

Such a joke. I may as well not even be a father, then. I’d just be some distant family member who showed up occasionally, at best.

What would my parents say if they knew of this? If I wasn’t there to help raise my own children…

I shivered at the thought, since I knew full well what my parents would do to me. My mother would likely obliterate me, and my father would do far worse.

But what was I to do…? Now I’m being told that the Society doesn’t want me to step down…? Likely Light’s influence, no doubt… but that will make it harder for me to do what I felt I needed. Could I step down as protector even though the Society doesn’t want me to do so…? Really?

A part of me wanted to say I could, that I could be firm enough in my own decisions… but the reality was far different. Because I knew the moment I heard someone died because I wasn’t there to help them would make me feel immense regret and shame… and thus force me back into the position.

And that was to say nothing about the gods and their schemes…

A brick cracked beneath me as I walked, and luckily no one else had noticed. I calmed down a bit, forcefully, and tried to stop thinking of certain things… and wasn’t doing very good at it.

So it was a good thing that I ran into familiar faces in the middle of town, as to distract me.

“Randle,” I greeted the priest as he and the mute that Renn didn’t care for walked out of a small shop. Folz carried a small bundle in his arms, though I wasn’t really sure what was within them. Whatever they were, they were wrapped by thick leather. But I didn’t smell food or anything…

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Studying the shop they came from, and the lack of signage or anything to hint as to what was within, I decided to let it be.

“Vim. I figured you’d be gone by now,” Randle said as he and I started walking side-by-side. Folz followed behind, quiet as ever.

Really… why was Renn so bothered by him? I’d already spent some time with him the other day. The man was as I remembered. A half-breed who was just a tad thicker in the blood than usual. A pitiful man who found solstice in his religion, and stayed in its safe clutches. There was nothing to hate or fear, at least not from him.

It was a tad odd to think, but Renn might just actually dislike the fact he’s a mute. Which was… strange. Renn was not the type to hate someone for their conditions or something beyond their control. She was not that type at all. So…

“I plan to leave in a bit. Just wanted to take care of a few things before I did,” I said as I stopped focusing on the mute ardent.

I’d keep an eye on him when I could, but it was likely nothing to worry over.

“Will you be returning?” Randle asked.

“I’m… not sure. I planned to, but,” I said with a small shrug. We were alone on this road at the moment, but it was the middle of the day and the town was noisy. Too many people around us for me to speak of anything too important.

“Well, either way take care. I shall pray for your wife’s success,” Randle said.

“Not mine?” I asked with a smirk.

“The day a prayer works on you is a day I do not wish to see,” the priest said with a huff.

I chuckled at that and nodded. “I’m glad we agree on that, at least.”

“For different reasons, sure.”

Rounding a corner and stepping onto another street of homes, ones a tad more humble than the ones I’d just left, I spent a small moment examine the residents here and there on the street.

They were all dressed moderately, and I was surprised to see so many families out and about. There were quite a few young children amongst them and…

“It’s a nice town, isn’t it Vim?” Randle asked.

Hm… “It is, yes,” I said. I wasn’t going to argue that fact, even if I knew the only reason it looked so healthy and nice was because of the wealth pouring out the mine. The minute that flow of wealth stopped, or even stuttered…

It wasn’t wise to have a whole city’s economy rely so heavily on a singular source. Especially not something that was unreliable. Most mines could and did last for years, decades even, but they had ups and downs. And those trends were only further more common in this era without certain technology.

And the human settlements in this world, in this era, were already so fragile…

“By the way, Vim.” I slowed a little to glance at the one-armed priest. He was fussing with his sleeve, as if his missing arm had been tangled up in it or something. He looked frustrated as he tugged at it, but eventually got it handled. “I received a letter. From a colleague in the east,” he said.

Hm…? The fact he didn’t name them was odd. Although we were out and about, he still could have just said whoever it was. “And?”

“These apparitions… will you go handle them?” he asked.

Ah. Abel was it? Why hadn’t he just said so? “I plan to… yes,” I said a little reluctantly. Not only did I need to go handle that, I had other things I was being requested for too. Such as the one down south…

“Then before you leave can I give you my response?” he asked.

Oh. “I plan to leave shortly,” I reminded him.

“Already handled, Vim,” Randle said as he dug into his robe… and sure enough procured a small envelope.

Taking it from him, I nodded and sighed. “What if I had ran off, Randle?” I asked. Or what if I had not ran into them just now?

“I would have then sent it under normal channels, of course,” he said simply.

Hmph. I went to putting his letter into one of the smaller pouches at my waist, and as I did I noticed out of the corner of my eye Folz staring at me. I figured he was just shocked to see me put something away into a pocket he had likely not noticed I even had originally. Most people didn’t even see the monarch pouches at my waist, even when I touched them openly.

“Anything else before I leave, then?” I asked.

Randle shook his head. “With the extra hands here now, we’ll be more than fine Vim. Go where you’re really needed,” he said.

I wanted to scoff at that, since where I was really needed was exactly where I was. Or rather, where I was about to be.

Next to her.

“Make sure you keep Kapni busy while I’m gone,” I reminded Randle. He and I had already talked of it, but I wanted to make sure he knew I was being serious.

The priest nodded gently. “I shall, Vim. Luckily we have plenty to do, so it shall not be difficult,” he said.

“Thank you,” I said.

I feared Kapni’s mindset at the moment. He was not as upset over his inability to go see his fellow foxes at Twin Hills than he should be. For him especially. He was not like the people in the Society today… he was more like Lilly in his belief in personal freedom. He should be furious over being told no over something as simple as going to see someone he was related to. Yet he wasn’t even complaining about it. It made me… concerned.

I had thought when I had last seen him that he had indirectly asked me for permission to die, and now that I met him again I still felt that same feeling. He was on the ledge. On the precipice. If we weren’t careful he’d do what so many others have done… like Trek most recently.

I didn’t want that. At least not until he met Renn and got to spend some time with her. I wanted Renn to meet more people like him, those like him were a dying breed… a relic, a remnant, of the old ways. And…

“Will Renn be…” Randle was about to ask of Renn, and likely if she’d be returning here or joining me elsewhere, but before he cold someone interrupted him.

“Reverend!”

I paused as a family hurried over. A young girl hurried over to grin up at Randle and offered him a flower. Her parents, both young looking themselves, slowed a bit a they watched Randle humbly accept the flower.

“Why, thank you Filly. Where did you find such a wonderful piece of god’s creation?” Randle asked as he went to smell the flower. It was a rare one in this region, but likely something she had simply plucked in any random garden. Rare, but not so rare it couldn’t be found.

For a tiny moment… I was transfixed. The young girl, likely only a dozen or so years old, had the smile only a child could possess. One full of happiness and joy. One that has never known struggle, or terror. The girl’s parents, likewise, had easy going smiles. They weren’t nobles, and based on their slightly rough clothing they weren’t even that well off… but they were happy. At peace. Hopeful.

If they had been my people, members of the Society, I’d consider myself successful based off their expressions alone. They at least had no worries, not ones that required someone like me at least… and the sight of such pure content happiness made me unsettled.

Some of my people had those looks. But only a few. And rarely did it last.

Most of the Society looked troubled. Even when they weren’t. At least, they did when I saw them. Because usually I only met people when they needed me. And lately it has felt as if I’d not just been failing even harder at such a thing… I’ve also been slightly indifferent and negligent. Enough so it was worrying.

How could I be expected to give such smiles to Renn and our children when I couldn’t even give it to those I protected…?

As the young girl and her family went to talking to Randle, I chose to step away and leave. Knowing Randle he’d stand there and talk to them for some time. Unlike most in the Society who played their parts in the church just to survive… Randle actually was what he pretended to be. The man was not just a good man, but one who genuinely believed in his faith and cherished the chance to spread it. So he’d likely talk to the family, and others, for far longer than I was willing to endure.

And it was better I left now anyway… since I wanted to hurry to Renn.

Maybe she could calm my heart. One that was now writhing in worry… and not over the threat of gods and fate, but something worse.

What if I was going to be a bad father? Or rather, how did I stop myself from being one?

And how did I do it without ruining the world in the process…?

Source: Webnovel.com, updated by NovelKeep