Chapter Three Hundred and Eighty – Vim – A Spear for a Tear

Walking through the dark, I wondered how long it had been since I’d visited Celine’s grave.

For some reason I couldn’t remember the last time I had done so.

But I had to have, right?

“Probably not,” I whispered admittedly.

I honestly was not a very emotional person. At least, not in that way. Even the gravestone I had made for my parents, at the Crypt, was something I only visited out of a strange sense of duty. I visited it because a part of me knew a child should do so. A son should revere his parents, especially one such as me. I had spent so many years helping carve and tend for all those graves of strangers, of members of the Society, that I had begun to feel guilty.

“You’d visit the graves of a bunch of animals but not us? Makes us less than chopped spleens don’t you think?” Is exactly what my father would have said in that cocky tone of his.

Although I knew he would have said it purely as a joke, without any true intentions behind it, the thought of it had hurt. So I had gathered up that stone, the last brick from our home that still existed, and used it as a quasi-grave for them and made sure to visit when I could.

But graves of others…?

I could think of a few people, like Celine, who I respected enough to honor in such a way. My old vassal. Miss Beak. Lawrence’s brother. Maybe Koff, if I could ever remember where I had buried him.

But sentimentality was not something I indulged in. it made me feel like shit. It reminded me how powerless I actually was, and always would be. Though, maybe instead of being callous I was instead just a coward. Maybe it wasn’t that I didn’t feel enough for the memories of those I loved, but instead that I didn’t like spending time thinking about them. Since it hurt to do so.

I didn’t like it when life hurt. It was odd of me to even realize in the first place that I was doing things that weren’t normal.

Yet lately I’d been doing a lot of things that I’d consider strange or out of character.

It was very out of character of me to be acting so odd lately. Visiting Celine’s tomb. Gathering up the stuff I’ve hidden and stashed over the years. Showing Renn that safe house I’d made in the crystal caves. Even my recent openness with so many members, talking and speaking about things I’d not done so in centuries, was odd.

Shifting the spear, I sighed as it rolled along my clavicle as I pondered my recent changes. Like always, even though I’d not held it in hundreds of years… it felt as if I’d never abandoned it. As if I’d been carrying it this whole time.

As the spear rolled along my shoulder, as I shifted it along my hand and arm, I wondered if I’d visit Renn’s grave.

Where would I bury her…? How would I do it? Would I make a beautiful tomb for her, a proper crypt, or would I just put down a simple headstone, as I had for my parents…?

For a small moment I thought of a few locations that would fit her grave-site. Places deep in forests. Littered with flowers, and adorned by sunlight yet also all the other elements. Places that got as much sun as snow, and as much rain as wind. Since such places are where she seemed to feel most at peace. She has gotten a lot better at handling the hustle and bustle of cities, but no matter how much she smiled and hid the truth I always noticed it. She hated crowds. Hated loud noises, and especially so the stink and clutter of large cities. She didn’t like open prairies or fields either, she always was a little stiffer in the tail while we traveled through places one could see for miles and miles with ease.

She liked the dense woods. But strangely didn’t like the ones always covered in snow, where she had been born. And she seemed to like the rain. So a nice little resting place, hidden away in such nature would fit her. Plus it’d let me visit without being bothered.

But then I thought of actually standing before such a thing… staring down at the place I’d buried her, and then the darkness rumbled.

Going still, I took a deep breath and pulled my thoughts as far away from that dark place as I could. I focused ahead of me, to the distant light at the end of the hallway, and clung to it.

“Don’t,” I warned myself.

Staying absolutely still, I didn’t even roll or shift my spear as I just… stood still.

Calm.

Don’t break anything.

Not only is this Celine’s tomb, I was dead center under the Cathedral.

Hundreds, if not thousands of people, would die if I didn’t be careful. Renn included.

“Don’t send her to that grave so soon. And don’t make this her grave, of all places too,” I whispered at myself.

The world, if it heard me, didn’t respond… and after a few long heartbeats… I calmed down a little and dared a single step forward.

Although I felt a little tense, my step didn’t make the world cry out. No bricks broke. No roofs or walls collapsed. No cracks emerged to eat the world.

Breathing evenly, I continued walking through the remainder of the darkness… and silently praised myself for keeping the world in one piece.

“Well done, Vim,” I told myself as I exited the darkness and emerged into a small hallway.

I glanced around, glad to see no one was here, and then walked over to the end of the hall. I pushed the hidden doorway open, sliding the giant fake wall of bricks along the rails it rested upon. I stepped out into the real hallway, and then turned to shut the hidden door behind me.

It slid close without a sound, not even a piece of gravel or dirt made noise as it shut. Once finished I brushed my hand off, since the wall itself had been dirty, and glanced at my spear.

The thing didn’t gleam or glisten. Although it felt as smooth and polished as anything could be, not a bit of light wanted to reflect off it. It looked like silver, felt cold like steel, but I knew no material within it could be found on this world. Even I didn’t have a name for it.

“How’ve you been?” I asked my old friend. The raggedy red cloth tied right under its sharp point dangled lifelessly as it gave me no response. Smirking at myself, I shook my head.

Walking through the underground of the Cathedral, I headed for the main exit. The one that led to the second floor, to the hallway that Randle’s office was situated in.

He had asked me to speak with him before dinner. I wasn’t sure exactly what time it was, since I’d been busy going around and talking to everyone and had spent the last half hour or so down here in these tunnels… but I figured it couldn’t be too far from him wondering where I was.

Plus I wanted to talk to him quickly so I could then go find Renn.

I had a wonderful present to give her, after all.

“You better be nice to her,” I said as I tapped the butt end of the spear against the stone floor. It didn’t release a note, and only thumped dully.

Honestly I should have got this last time we were here. Her sword had broken back then, during her trip here with Oplar and Angie. While fighting some bandits, who had been trying to take advantage of misplaced townsfolk from the same fires that had taken Angie’s family from this world.

She’s been without a weapon this whole time because of it. She had a couple little knives, which in her hands could be deadly weapons, but they were not tools of war. This was.

But back then I’d been planning to teach her more hand-to-hand than anything else, and had known she’d be with me and Lilly for a time. Plus… well…

“I don’t like carrying you,” I told the spear.

When I carried this thing, calamities ended. Which in a sense was a good thing, until one realized that the only reason it ended those calamities was because I had needed it to do so.

“Honestly I’ve not needed you lately,” I said as I thought about it. None of the monarchs, or enemies, in the last few decades had needed such a weapon. Though one could argue if I had this thing back during some of those moments, they would have ended quicker. Thus possibly saving a few more lives, possibly.

Frowning as I rounded another corner, I wondered if this was one of the reasons I was seen as a failure to so many.

I didn’t carry this thing because of many reasons. But most of those reasons were personal. Which meant, because others suffered since I didn’t carry this on me at all times, that I was allowing my own personal feelings and desires to impact and harm the innocents around me.

And now the only reason I had finally retaken this thing after all these centuries was because I feared Light or someone else finding it. After all if anyone knew where Celine’s tomb was and how to properly get into it… it’d be her daughter. Plus it was the same daughter that wouldn’t have hesitated at actually opening the coffin and ransacking its contents.

I’d only taken it to keep others from having it. And I was going to give it to my wife, because I liked the idea of her having a weapon not even the divine were safe from. Not because I planned to actually save anyone with it.

“I really am a bastard…” I mumbled.

Honestly I was having difficulties with favoritism at the moment. I had agreed, not just with Celine but with my very own mother, to always try and treat everyone equally. To never ignore the plights of those I barely knew, or didn’t like, in favor of those I cherished.

Yet lately there was no denying that I’ve been failing terribly at that task. Not only concerning Renn, either.

In a sense this spear was further proof of that fact.

Grumbling at myself, I rounded another corner… and slowed a bit as I found the exit.

And the very person my mind’s been on this whole time.

Renn and Angie were sitting on the stairs that led to the upper hallway, the one that led to Randle’s office. They were talking lightly, and looked to have food and drinks that they were currently enjoying.

Although… a strange sight to see, it somehow also wasn’t.

Renn was odd like this.

“Oh!” Renn perked up at the sight of me as I approached… but her face quickly furrowed as she realized what I was carrying.

“What’s that?” Angie asked as Renn put aside a plate of what looked to be some kind of meat filled bread.

Renn stood and stepped down the last couple steps to my level, and smirked at me as I held the spear out to her.

She hesitated a moment, but took it. I noticed the way she had to quickly adjust a bit, since the spear had shot upward about an inch the moment she took it from me. She had misjudged its weight, likely having expected it to be as heavy as the spears we’d carried before.

“I promise this one won’t break on you, ever,” I told her.

Renn’s ears shifted under her hat, and she grabbed the spear with both hands as to study it.

“Vim…?” she whispered my name as I watched her slowly understand what was happening.

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Angie finally stood, dropping a small piece of food in the process. She didn’t even look at the thing as it fell down a few steps as she hurried over. She frowned at the spear, then looked at me and frowned even deeper. “Did it take you this long to get her a new weapon? It’s been months since her sword broke,” the young bison said with a faint hint of disgust in her voice.

Renn noticed and smirked at me as I nodded down at the young girl. “I know. But this one was worth the wait,” I said.

“Is it…?” Angie didn’t seem to believe me as I reached over and gently tapped Renn’s knuckles. To get her attention.

She looked at me as I nodded gently at her.

“Keep it near you. Always,” I said.

Renn’s pupils contracted a little more than usual. Becoming elongated, showing off how cat-like they could become. I enjoyed the sight since it wasn’t often they got so.

“I’ll keep it safe. Forever,” Renn then said, speaking with a rather lovely voice as she did.

“Hm…? It’s to keep you safe, not the other way around,” I said with a smile. How did she sound so adorable so spontaneously like that?

She shook her head as she tightened her grip on the shaft enough to be audible. “It’s important. So I’ll keep it safe, I promise.”

I sighed at her. “That’s not what I meant, Renn…”

Renn actually went and hugged the damn thing, which made even Angie sigh. “She had wept like crazy when her sword broke. Is it a cat thing? All I get is angry and annoyed when my stuff breaks,” Angie asked.

“Usually no. Cats being possessive is usually a bad sign, since it means they’re depressed or anxious,” I said.

Renn giggled softly. “I can be possessive,” she said.

Angie furrowed her brow. “If you two start flirting I’m going to throw up.”

Smiling at her I nodded. “So. I’m glad to find you so quickly, since I still have things to do and I had wanted to give that to you before I trounced around the church with it, but why were you two sitting here having lunch? It’s kind of dark and musky here,” I said as I glanced up the stairwell. I could see the large wooden door that led to the exit. Some light was peering through it, since it was so old an worn.

“Tronss?” Angie whispered as Renn turned and stepped back over to the stairs. She bent down, picked up the plate that had been on her lap, and then turned and held it out to me.

I stared at the little snacks, realizing she was offering me one.

There were only a few left, at least on this plate. “You sure?” I asked gently.

“Yeah? I saved some for you,” she said happily.

Hm.

Reaching over I took one of the breaded-wrapped meat things and put it in my mouth. It was a little cold, but it didn’t taste too bad. Though I knew now I’d want a drink for the next little while, since it was a little dry. Renn happily smiled and nodded at me as I quickly ate the thing.

“Still… I’d been wondering when you’d show me it,” Renn said happily.

“Show you what?” I asked as I swallowed. Had I ever told her of the spear before…? I couldn’t remember doing so, but I might have. She sometimes connived details from me without me realizing it…

“You said you had put something here your mother had made. I figured since you hadn’t shown it off, or pointed it out, amongst all those other trinkets we got earlier that you simply hadn’t gotten it yet. Though I’ll admit… I hadn’t expected this, at all,” Renn said as she tapped the spear with a fingernail.

Unlike the steel ones I’d made for us a few years ago, this one didn’t ring out when she did it.

Renn noticed and frowned, and tapped it again. This time a little harder.

She…

Wait…

She realized that the spear was one my mother had made…?

How? Had I actually told her about it? In what way?

My mind whirled a little as I tried to connect the dots. Just how had she concluded it so readily…? Was that why she had smiled so strangely earlier? Why she had hugged the damn thing, as if it was a wedding gift? It was because she had recognized its history instantly?

A little disturbed, since I was once again forced to accept the fact that Renn’s mind was a work of wonder and that I was going to need to be far more careful in the future, I did my best to not reach out and take the thing back from her.

All that would do is hurt her, and then that would just hurt me. Even if I now wanted to chuck that thing into space.

“Do I get a present?”

I blinked, as did Renn…. As we both turned and looked down at Angie.

Who was staring up at me with a rather serious look.

“Hm… what would you like?” I asked.

“Presents are supposed to be surprises,” Angie said.

“They are,” Renn agreed.

Well… they weren’t wrong.

“Okay. But don’t grumble at me if what I get you is dumb then,” I said.

“I won’t grumble. Not in front of you anyway,” Angie said simply.

Renn giggled as I frowned at the young bison. “You’re much more like your mother than your father,” I said.

Angie smiled at that.

Sighing at the two, I nodded. “Okay. I need to go then. I got a few things I need to take care of, and…” I started to say but Renn hurriedly stood up straighter and gestured at me.

“Hold on! We were waiting for you!” she said quickly as she turned to put down the plate of food. Before she turned back around though she had quickly stuffed one of the last remaining snacks into her mouth. She turned back to me, covering her mouth a little as she mumbled through her chewing. “Angie has something to say.”

Glancing at the young bison as Renn noisily chewed, the girl nodded up at me.

“I want your help.”

Blinking softly, I relaxed a little and nodded. “I’m all yours.”

Angie frowned at that, but nodded all the same. “I hope so. I want to save the children. Or… at least, protect them,” she said.

The children…? “Do you mean the orphans…?” I asked, since they were the only children I could imagine she had any relation to at the moment.

She nodded stiffly. “Yeah! So you know about it already?” she asked excitedly.

“You do? Really?” Renn too said, no longer eating, as she brushed her mouth of crumbs.

“Huh…? No. I just assumed. What’s wrong then? Why do they need saving?” I asked.

Angie calmed a little and nodded. “I overheard one of the church ladies, one of us, talking. They mentioned the end of the era of humans. And after that, Randle got in trouble and then he,” Angie began to rattle off quickly but I had to raise a hand and hush her.

“End of the era of humans?” I asked stiffly.

Angie went silent with a tiny noise as she hurriedly nodded.

“Right! Isn’t it such a weird thing to say!” Renn agreed with a strange voice of urgency.

Calming down a little, I frowned and held Angie’s eyes. She was definitely thick in the blood. She was not looking at me as a child would, at all.

“Who said that?” I asked her.

“A woman with a white line in her hair,” she said.

My eyes narrowed as I reached up and ran my finger through the spot Less had her birthmark.

Angie nodded with wide eyes “You know her!” she said.

“I do. That is Less. Landi’s sister. She returned here with Light, and as far as I’m aware went with Light to Lumen,” I said.

Angie didn’t seem to care. “She said it! In a weird way too! And now Randle’s getting banished, and the old ladies who run the orphanage are whispering about it shutting down and having to send the kids elsewhere!” Angie said, stepping forward as she shook her hands in front of her. They were tiny balled fists, as if she was getting ready to punch me.

She was rather worked up over this. An oddity. Bisons, at least her bloodline, were usually very stoic people. And in fact this might be the most emotion I’ve ever seen on the girl.

Though granted, I’d really only ever spoken to her a few handful of times. And never really about anything too emotional. Just the once I had asked about her dead family, from the fire, and although she had shed tears she had not actually cried or wept. Not aloud anyway. And not in front of me.

So…

“So, Angie, the kids aren’t in immediate danger, right? No one’s dying or being hunted at this very moment?” I asked, to be sure.

“Huh…? Oh… yeah? I guess so… but…” Angie calmed a little as she frowned up at me. I could see the poor girl’s thoughts clear as day on her expression.

She was now worried I wasn’t going to take her worry seriously.

I smiled gently at the girl, as to ease her worry. “I just wanted to make sure. It’s one of my protocols, to triage. Basically I needed to know how immediate the situation is,” I explained.

“Oh… okay,” Angie nodded, and out of the corner of my eye I noticed Renn reach up to her hat to scratch under it. Her nail scratched at her head, and by the sounds of it her ears. She was anxious.

But she shouldn’t be. Neither should Angie.

“That said you’re right to worry. I’ll need to verify some stuff, and be careful in how I do it, but it’d not surprise me if they are messing with the orphanages,” I said.

“You’d be willing to help…?” Angie asked softly.

“Of course?”

“But…! They’re not members!” Angie said quickly, as if to remind me of the fact. As if I’d not known in the first place.

Ah. So that was what was wrong.

I nodded. “They’re not, yes.”

“Then!” Angie shouted, gesturing at me as if I was crazy.

I smirked and chuckled. “I know. So odd, isn’t it? The Society’s Protector protecting humans, oh the terror and shame!” I said.

Angie’s shocked expression quickly turned into one of doubt and unsurity as she tried to comprehend my words.

Wanting to reach over and gently pat her head, I decided not to. Angie seemed to be the type that would have been offended by it.

“Technically they’re not members. That’s correct. Though one could argue they all have the possibility, the qualities and criteria, to become members… that’s also not enough to justify it. But, let’s change the perspective a bit,” I said as I raised a finger to the young bison. She nodded stiffly as I pointed at her, which made her eyes focus and narrow at my fingertip. “Let’s say you asked me to protect your home. Or your farm. What would you think I’d say to that?” I asked.

Angie’s eyebrows met as Renn made a tiny noise, but she thankfully stayed quiet.

“You’d… help me, of course?” Angie said slowly, and I knew she had already understood my meaning… but being young, she still was hesitant to say so.

I nodded. “I would. Just as I’d help you save or protect your animals, a nearby river, crops, or… well anything you wanted me to. My protection is not just of one’s self, it extends to one’s being. And a person is not just their flesh and bone, but the things they hold dear. Their homes, their family, their friends and their livelihoods. You, my dear bison, cherish and wish to protect those humans. To the point you’re willing to risk your own self, your own being, for them. Why then would I not assist you? After all, not doing so would and could potentially get you hurt or even killed. Then I’d not be fulfilling my duties as a protector, now would I?” I asked.

Angie quickly nodded. “I see…!”

“I think he’d help even without that winded loophole,” Renn said happily.

“Ignore her. She’s crazy,” I said.

“Wha!” Renn’s ears fluttered enough to make her hat fall off as Angie grinned and laughed.

As the young bison laughed, Renn and I glanced at each other… because we had both noticed it.

Angie had tears in her eyes.

“Thank you…!” Angie said as her laughs started to… change. It didn’t take long until the happy boisterous sounds turned into ones that tugged at heartstrings.

Renn startled at the sudden fountain of tears. She finally released the spear, handing it off to me, as she went to hug the girl. The young bison didn’t hesitate to accept Renn’s embrace, and I suddenly felt a little awkward as even Renn started to whimper and sniff as she held Angie while she cried.

Shifting a little, I frowned as I watched Renn and Angie cry together. As if something truly emotional had just happened.

Here I was just teaching her why it was okay to ask me for help, in any form. Maybe I should have handled that differently. I had genuinely thought the young bison more mature. More like her parents.

My fault.

I wasn’t entirely sure if Renn had hugged her so quickly because she had panicked at the sight of Angie’s emotions, or if she too had actually worried I’d have turned her down. Surely Renn wouldn’t have thought so, would she have?

She’s known me to help out in odd ways before. So I had doubted it. Odds are Renn had just… leapt into the emotional moment without hesitation.

Which was scary itself, in its own way.

Stepping aside a bit, I bent down to pick up Renn’s hat. I studied it for a moment, to make sure it was still in good condition. It was. The thing had a few little smudges, and a couple places where the seams and sewing were starting to undo and tear, but it would likely last her a good many months still yet. Even with our hard travels and the elements during them.

The two girls quickly calmed themselves, mostly since they hadn’t really been weeping too hard anyway. Yet even though they stopped crying, they remained hugging… looking strangely like a mother and daughter, or maybe a pair of sisters.

I studied the way Renn had rested her head on Angie’s. Since she was tall enough to do so. I was a little jealous. Renn wasn’t tall enough to hold me in such a way.

Though… maybe if I crouched first? Or if I was sitting? She’s hugged me like that once. Back at the Crypt. When we had been talking about letters, and stuff.

I had been a little stunned in that moment, but I could still distinctly remember it.

Wonder how I could get a similar hug again. That time it had happened because she had been so emotional. But I didn’t want to make her emotional in that way just to get a hug…

Snapping out of it as the two turned to look at me, while wiping their faces and smiling, I nodded to them now that I had their attention again.

“Still… this might all be a needless worry, you know,” I said.

“Huh…?” Angie made an odd noise, thanks to a now stuffy nose.

“Randle may be banished… but that doesn’t mean he’s been defeated. I suggest we go meet him. He wanted me to see him before dinner anyway, may as well handle this while we’re at it. For all we know he’s already got a solution to this, or at least has contingencies in place,” I said as they slowly stood.

“What…? Why didn’t you say so earlier! Look, you made us cry!” Renn said as she and Angie glared at me.

“You did that to yourselves,” I said as I went to gather up the mess. There were bowls and bags to gather.

“See Angie? This is why you need to find someone simple. So they don’t do stuff like this to you,” Renn said as she and Angie both stepped forward to join me… while still holding each other.

“What?” I paused at that, as Angie giggled.

“I’ll take that warning to heart.”

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