A new fire had been given life.

Standing with Oplar, Sillti and Angie, I stared alongside them at the large burning pyre. One that had been made out of broken down wagons and carts. Some of them hadn’t even been destroyed in the attack, and had been perfectly fine.

But there had been that many dead. Enough to warrant breaking down still usable wagons. As to have enough firewood for their funeral, and because the wagons would have been abandoned anyway. Enough people had died in the attack that even if each person took a wagon or cart there’d still be some left over.

I shifted as I glanced to our right. A few dozen paces away were a line of people. Kneeling in prayer. Some were weeping. Some didn’t have a single stain upon their faces, as if unable to cry at all.

Lasly the innkeeper was amongst them. Her husband had been hit by an arrow.

All around us were other wagons, carts, horses and people. After the attack the whole caravan had banded together as closely as possible. What had been a rather disjointed caravan had become a very tight knit group of people. The reason why was obvious. To treat their wounds, handle the dead, and better keep each other safe.

I wasn’t sure if they really were safe or not, to be honest. The attackers had been fended off… but…

Glancing again at the funeral pyre, and the many dozens of bodies still burning within it… I wondered who had really lost.

Far more attackers had fallen than I’d thought originally. But there had still been dozens more to escape back over the hill and away, too. The caravan had outnumbered them originally, but something told me the numbers were now even.

A quick glance at the grieving people, and the crowds gathered all around them watching somberly… and the other crowds at a distance, at their wagons for one reason or another, I did my best to count those still alive and still here.

There were at least fifty, but a good portion of those were elderly or women. And of the men, several had injuries. More than a few now had their arms wrapped in slings, or similar wounds.

Our tiny group was actually one of the few, if not only ones, to have not only had no casualties… but no injuries either.

Or well… technically I suppose our group did.

I felt bad as I glanced at Lasly again. She was still there, weeping. Her children were holding her close.

Yes. We had suffered too.

“I’m uh… not sure what to say,” Sillti said softly, breaking the silence that had been growing amongst us for the good part of an hour or so. None of us had seemingly been willing to say anything as the pyre had been readied, and then lit aflame. The whole caravan had gone quiet, even the wounded which had been groaning in pain had ceased doing so. In reverence, almost. But now that people were openly weeping, and that most were done doing so, conversations had begun to sprout. Smaller campfires had even begun to be lit around the area, as people settled down.

“What is there to say? This happens rarely anymore, but it still does and always will. The chaos of the fires gave the bastards the chance to do this. Typical of mercenaries, opportunistic bastards,” Oplar said angrily.

I shifted at that. Was it really typical?

Was that why so many had been wary around Vim and I while we had traveled together? While we had pretending to be such a thing…?

I had thought mercenaries were just people who could be hired. To fight wars. To be temporary guards or knights.

Were they brigands and murderers too…?

Hadn’t I heard that Vim had been friends with many of them? I couldn’t imagine Vim being friends of such people. Vim did not look kindly on those who forced their will on others… and theft and murder were definitely not something that aided free will.

Still… although surrounded by grief, and chaos, I felt strangely tired and calm. My heart was no longer thumping wildly. My breathing no longer harsh and short. My sweat that had covered my body had even cooled and dried already, making me feel a little chilled somehow even in the hot air.

However, although calm… and very happy that no one precious to me had died or gotten hurt… I still felt as if I had failed, in a way.

And not just because the humans around me had gotten hurt, like Lasly’s husband and the couple who had been riding on the wagon behind us.

Glancing down, I glared at the handle of my sword.

It was back in its sheath. It had done its duty. It had stood tall for me.

But…

“Come on. I need a drink,” Oplar then said as she turned around.

“Hm!” Sillti quickly went to join her, sounding as if she agreed with the idea completely. They both stepped away, heading for the wagon that had been given to us.

It had been the wagon of that couple. The human couple who had been riding behind us.

They wouldn’t need it anymore.

“Renn.”

I blinked as I glanced down and found Angie. The young girl had been holding Oplar’s hand, not mine, but not because she had not wanted to hold my hand or had found me scary. Instead it had been because I had been holding my sword’s handle, and my other hand had been clenched tightly into a fist this whole time. I had actually noticed the young girl try to reach out and grab my hand a few times since I had returned to standing next to her and Oplar, but I’d ignored her.

I shouldn’t be mean to her. She was likely terrified still. She was just a little girl. My weak nerves and distressed self wasn’t an excuse. I needed to be better.

I needed to stand tall.

“Sorry. Are you okay?” I asked. The battle had ended a few hours ago, but this was actually the first time I’d actually spoken to her.

She nodded gently at me. “Are you?” she asked.

“Yes. Not even a bruise,” I told her.

And hadn’t lied.

I had not only defended my family, I had done so flawlessly. I had stood tall. I had faced four men. Full grown men, who even had armor and fancy weapons. One of them even had a spear.

And not only had none of them hurt me, they hadn’t hurt those I had stood tall to protect. They had hurt and killed those around us, but not us. Not those of the Society. Not this little girl.

I’ve killed before. More than I’d like to admit. Throughout the years I’ve had to defend myself, or the kids and Nory, from others. During my time with Witch I had also been forced to do things I had not wanted to do. But this was honestly the first time I’d faced four battle-hardened men as I had, and hadn’t gotten hurt in the process. Usually when I was forced to fight for my life, or others, it ended up with me covered in wounds and sometimes even bedridden for days.

This time though… thankfully, I was standing firm. Not even a pulled muscle to speak of.

Vim’s training had paid off. My efforts hadn’t been in vain.

In fact…

I gulped as I smiled at the young girl who was looking up at me as if I had just lied to her. She hadn’t believed me.

“To be honest I’m just… kind of surprised. I hadn’t realized how strong I was until now,” I told her the truth.

Angie frowned. “Isn’t that a good thing?” she asked.

“It is… but…” I shifted as I reached down to grab my sword’s hilt. With a small tug I drew the blade out of the sheath a little… until it had no more sword to draw.

It had broken. Right in the middle. Shattered.

“Better it than us,” the young girl said as she stared at it. I was glad to see she hadn’t stepped back in worry at the sight of it. She didn’t fear me, even after watching me kill those men. Even after the blood and death.

She was rare for a child. The kids, and even Nory, had always been a little skittish around me after witnessing such traumatic events. Maybe it was because I hadn’t gotten hurt this time.

Fly hadn’t shied away from me either, during those moments in the sewer. But that might have been because she had been more scared of the attackers and her master than me. There had not been any room in her tiny heart for fear of me. It had been full already.

Not only was she brave… this little girl was also rather wise. I nodded at her statement.

“Yes. But… it had been special to me all the same,” I said.

“Why?” she asked.

“It’s full of my memories,” I said.

The girl’s eyebrows furrowed in a way that told me she hadn’t understood. It seemed although wise beyond her years, she was still young.

“Get over here you two!” Oplar shouted at us from the wagon. I turned to make sure they were okay, since her shout had originally made my heart miss a beat… but Oplar and Sillti were fine. They had made a small campfire next to the wagon we now owned, and it looked like Oplar already had tea being made.

“I hate tea…” Angie grumbled as she stepped away.

Watching the young girl walk away, I smiled gently at her. Yes, she had said that before.

Taking a deep breath I glanced once more at my broken sword.

It had shattered inside the chest of one of the men. The one with the spear. The last to attack us. He had been on his horse still, and I had leapt upward to stab him. I had actually almost jumped onto him, and although my attack had worked and I had impaled him in the chest… it had also forced me into a weird position. I had angled away from him as he fell off his horse, and I fell back to the ground. The result was my sword snapping in two, since it had gotten stuck inside of him. I should have let it go, to leave it in his body and grab it afterward. It had snapped from my own strength, my own actions.

In reality I knew it was likely something a long time coming. Vim and I had sparred often with this sword, and I knew better than to think all the exchanges between me and him hadn’t left their marks. Odds are this blade had broken thanks to tiny little cracks from the thousands of times Vim’s sword had blocked my own, or I his. Maybe Brom’s sword had left cracks too. Although a strange metal stronger than normal, it was still in the end but metal. A normal object. One that could wear down and break.

Angie was right of course. Better the sword than us. Any day, any time.

But…

“Sorry,” I whispered to it.

How long had I had this thing? Two years at least. Granted lately it had become such an obvious, matter of fact, thing to have that I had actually forgotten about it half the time… but…

I’d trained for countless hours with this thing. With Vim. My sweat and blood had stained the handle. Seeped into it. It even smelled like me. I had been taught by Vim how to care for it. How to oil the handle, and make sure the edges didn’t chip too deeply or roll.

Tapping the blade, right next to where it had broken, I sighed at the sound my nail made upon it.

It had sounded dull. Nothing like the pure note it usually made.

“Don’t rush her.”

I heard Oplar’s voice, even when hushed she was still loud. Sillti or Angie must have been about to call out to me.

Taking a deep breath, I sighed as I slid the broken sword back into the sheath. It was just barely enough of a sword to keep it in, but it made it lopsided. The sheath was strangely heavier than it seemed, but not heavy enough without the rest of the blade inside of it to leverage it out. The sword’s handle kept wanting to slide downward, unbalanced thanks to it being broken and missing its lower half.

I’ll not be able to keep it. But…

I groaned at the thought of the other half of the sword still in that man’s body.

They hadn’t burned the attackers. They had instead gathered up all their bodies and placed them on the side of the road. They had even laid blankets over them all, as if in respect. I wasn’t sure why they’d gather them up with such care yet not burn them too, but I hadn’t been about to stop them.

The man who had half of my sword stuck in him was on the other end of the road and hill. I even knew which blanket he was under.

It felt… wrong, somehow, to know the sword’s pieces were still in him. But I wasn’t going to go digging into him to pry them out.

A part of me wondered what I should do about it. I’d not be able to carry it on my hip like I’ve been doing. Not with the way it dangles now. But I couldn’t just abandon it either… could I?

Not only was it precious to me, even while broken, it was also important.

Vim’s precious steel…

“Where are you?” I whispered softly as I stared at the blade’s handle. The funeral fire could be seen upon it. Dancing in a reflected glimmer.

I had cleaned it of blood already. Wiped it with a cloth. I knew I was supposed to also apply some of the oil too, but I hadn’t done so… and likely wouldn’t.

The thing was broken. It was done.

Gripping the handle, so it wouldn’t fling and fall out as I walked, I turned away from the fire and headed for our wagon.

Reaching up to make sure my hat was still firmly on the top of my head, I promised myself to give Vim a kiss. His pins had held firm and hadn’t broken or gone loose during all my fighting and movements. It was almost startling to think those little wooden pieces had been strong enough to endure what they’d just gone through a few hours ago. Especially when they just… randomly broke sometimes, for no reason at all.

As I approached our wagon, I made sure to glance around to check our surroundings. I was still on guard, and felt antsy. Hard not to be, considering.

Oplar was the only one standing. Sillti and Angie were both sitting on small stools, likely found from within the wagon. They were tiny enough that they fit Angie, but not Sillti.

Other than them… there was no one else nearby. The nearest wagon, a large one with huge wheels taller than me, was a few dozen steps away and currently didn’t have anyone around it. I had seen someone messing with it earlier, but they weren’t there now. They were likely either still over with the mourners, or were at another group’s campfire.

While Oplar messed with her tea pot, Sillti noticed my approach. She seemed about to stand up, but hesitated. She instead just smiled at me. “We found food, Renn,” she said in greeting.

“And booze,” Angie added.

I frowned. “Please tell me you didn’t give her alcohol,” I said. Angie had a cup in her hands.

Angie giggled as Oplar laughed at me.

“No, no. She’s got tea,” Sillti said quickly, not realizing that I knew full well Oplar wouldn’t have given the young girl such a thing.

“Good,” I said with a smile as I went to sit down too. There was only one other unoccupied stool, but there was a larger box sitting next to it. I took the stool, not because I was too good for the box but instead because I knew such a tiny stool would have been uncomfortable for Oplar. It had even felt a little uncomfortable for me. Had this been for children? The couple hadn’t had any…

“Hope you worked up a good and mighty hunger, Renn. They had some mighty fine meat and I’m going to cook it well,” Oplar said happily.

“Had a bunch of other stuff too,” Angie said.

“Aye they did. Good thing Brandy isn’t here, else we’d be going home with a dozen wagons in tow!” Oplar said with a laugh.

I couldn’t help it, I laughed too. “I bet she would make us gather them, yes,” I agreed.

There were not that many wagons left, I didn’t think, but there were indeed several nearby that had no owners anymore. Odds are no one would actually complain if we went and took whatever we wished. In fact I’d already noticed a few people doing just that. There were a pair of women rummaging in a cart not far from us, on the other side of the wagon with big wheels. They were talking between themselves, and I made out a few of the words through the noise and crackling fires. They were looking for something. Some kind of box.

I watched the women for a moment… unsure what to think of them. Should someone stop them? Were they stealing? Were they friends or family of the ones who had been the original owners of the wagon?

Did it matter…?

Then shadows moved, and I startled as I looked up.

A tiny moment of panic ran through me, but I calmed down and smiled up at Oplar who held out a cup to me.

“You sure you’re okay, Renn?” Oplar asked as she handed me a full cup of her tea.

I smiled at her and nodded, but didn’t say anything… as I released the handle of my sword. I had grabbed it instinctively upon being startled.

I was still on guard.

She smiled back and nodded, and stepped away. To head for the wagon. I watched as she lifted a box and brought it over. I could smell the meat within it even before she went to opening it.

The cup was warm. And smelled good.

“I’ve never had alcohol,” Sillti said.

“You can try it later, Sillti. The odds of them attacking again are pretty slim, but until we know for sure no messing around,” Oplar said with a happy tone.

“I wasn’t saying I wanted to get drunk! I was… just saying,” Sillti argued.

“We drank mead in the winter,” Angie said.

“Aye. Watered down mead is a staple indeed,” Oplar said with a nod.

I hummed as I nodded too. She was right. In the north especially children were allowed to drink watered down spirits. It was sometimes all they had to drink, and it also kept them a tad warmer during the harsh winters.

“Wait… you let kids just drink that stuff? Why’d you say something about it then, Renn?” Sillti asked me, having noticed my nod.

“Forgot about it. But it’s true; up north where I’m from they did let the kids drink the watered stuff. But I don’t know if it’s all the same or not. The stuff here smells a lot stronger,” I said.

“Different kinds. The stuff you’re thinking of Renn is more diluted, not as strong. The stuff in the wagon is the good stuff. I bet even you could get drunk on it,” she said with a grin.

“Really…?” I perked up at that. Interesting. It was too bad Vim wasn’t here, so that I could have some.

“Let’s not get her drunk, please,” Sillti mumbled.

I smirked at that. Was that because she worried about me being a drunk predator, or because then she’d lose her current protector, I wonder?

“Good tea is far better than a hangover, I say,” Oplar said as she went to start cooking. She had already laid out some kind of iron cookware over the fire. It looked like a small barbecue. It was neat; it looked like it could be folded up for easy storage.

Maybe I should keep that.

I blinked as I realized technically it was ours now. After all, the whole wagon and all its contents were now ours.

I wonder if Vim would let us keep it. Would he let us use it while we traveled around…? We had used a cart in the south not too long ago. When we had taken the dyes from Secca to Landi. So maybe…

“I’ll help. Let her rest,” Sillti then said, drawing me from my thoughts.

“Huh…?” I sat up a little and realized I had missed something. Sillti had stood to help Oplar with the food.

“You can lie down after some food, Renn. Trust me, a full stomach helps relieve the tension,” Oplar said to me.

Great. They were worried about me. I probably looked troubled.

“Should we be doing this…? Should we leave, Oplar…?” I asked instead.

“Nay. Although defeated and wounded, there looked to still be dozens of them. They’ll be licking their wounds, and likely won’t attack this group again in fear of them being ready this time, or reinforcements showing up, but they’ll not hesitate to attack a small wagon on its lonesome, let alone three women and a kid,” Oplar said as she started laying slabs of meat onto the iron grill thing.

It sizzled, and I couldn’t help but stare at the meat as it did.

I was starving. Oplar was right.

Somehow that made me smile.

“Wait! Please don’t put that stuff on them!” Sillti shouted as Oplar opened a pouch. One that immediately made the air smell funny.

Spices.

“What? Liven up Sillti, this stuff exists to be put on good meat like this,” Oplar defended her choice with a frown as she stuck her fingers into the pouch.

“Don’t! It smells weird!” Sillti groaned defiantly.

“Smells like typical spices,” I said.

“I love you Renn, but please be quiet. Can’t you smell it? It’s rancid,” Sillti said with a glare at Oplar.

“It’s just pepper from the islands. It tastes good,” Oplar said with a frown. She wasn’t joking anymore, but being serious.

“Pepper? That’s expensive stuff we should keep it and sell it instead,” Angie however had a different opinion.

“Alright you little old soul, I swear if you don’t start acting your age I’ll be sending you to the Bell Church. Nothing but old people there! You’ll fit right in!” Oplar said loudly while pointing her spice stained finger at Angie, as if making a threat.

The young girl frowned at Oplar, not understanding what she meant, but I couldn’t help but smile.

“Careful Angie, she says it in jest but that might actually be rather threatening,” I said.

“Now now, don’t be biased Renn!” Oplar turned the pepper stained finger to point at me.

It was my turn to frown.

“I’ve heard of that place. Supposedly it’s all women, so I don’t want to go there either,” Sillti said with a huff as she crossed her arms, forgetting all about the pepper all of a sudden.

Oplar immediately began to laugh hysterically, which in turn made me laugh too.

Sillti gave us looks that told me she couldn’t comprehend why we were laughing, but it was fine. After all… this was the best outcome in my opinion.

Laughter.

It was far better than weeping. Far better than sobs and heartbreak.

And…

Most importantly…

They had all asked if I was okay. Right after the fight. The battle. Oplar and Sillti, and even little Angie, had asked several times if I was all right. Even though they had all been there to see it all. They had with their own eyes watched what had happened. They hadn’t needed to ask, they had seen that I had been fine.

Yet…

Other than asking if I was okay…

They didn’t bring the battle up at all, afterward.

They’d mentioned lightly things like if I was tired, or that I should eat my fill or rest… but nothing more. Nothing more direct than that.

No comment about what I’d done.

No comments about how many I had killed.

All they did was act natural. Normal. We made dinner. We ate. We sat and drank while talking and telling stories, as we always had. They had allowed the night to be as normal as could be; so normal I had almost doubted it all had happened in the first place.

There was no stiff fear directed towards me. They hadn’t stared at me in terror or worry, as Lughes and Crane had done. They hadn’t become distant, and started walking on eggshells like those in Lumen had done either.

Instead… they just kept on being themselves. Being normal. With me.

And for that…

I’ll always be thankful.

This was what I had wanted originally. This was why I had joined the Society.

This was what made it all worth it.

This was why I stood tall.

Source: Webnovel.com, updated by NovelKeep