Chapter 86: Chapter Eighty Five – Renn – A Sparrow’s Respite and Dance

The little birds chirped at me, and I slowly backed away.

It hadn’t been too hard to close the window, thanks to the storm’s heavy winds… but it had made a mess. I wasn’t that wet, but the windowsill and the floor near it definitely were.

“You got wet,” Vim said with a sigh.

“Hm. I did,” I nodded, but didn’t regret it.

The two little sparrows fluttered next to each other, drying off their feathers and chirping.

“Birds can survive storms you know,” Vim said.

“They wanted in,” I said plainly.

Vim shrugged, but I knew that was because he couldn’t argue. After all, that’d be lying.

They had been tapping on the window, rather furiously… it meant that chances are they usually came in here, and simply hadn’t lately thanks to us being here.

“Think they have a nest in here somewhere?” I asked Vim as I looked up at the ceiling. There were rafter beams, but there were only a few and it was open. I didn’t see any, nor did I see any tell traces of birds or animals making this place their den.

“More like Oplar probably fed them when she was here last,” Vim complained.

I looked away from the two small birds to glare at the man relaxed on the bed. He was lying on his side, watching me.

He held my gaze, but he wasn’t glaring like I was… in fact he looked tired.

The window rattled thanks to a gust of wind and the birds chirped because of it. Looking at them, I found that they had huddled together up near the side of the window frame, as far away from the window as possible.

“Let them be. They’re fragile things,” Vim said gently.

“Hm…” I nodded. I hadn’t planned on touching them or going near them… but maybe he had thought I would.

“The garden will flood. Always does when it storms like this,” Vim said.

“Oh? Is it bad?” I asked.

“No. It never floods deeply… it’s just annoying.”

Annoying… maybe he planned to clean up after the storm. Knowing him, he would. He had spent most of day earlier, after returning with Jelti, cleaning up the house. A part of me thought he had done it so Jelti and I could be alone, as much as we could be, but another part of me knew he just… didn’t like being bored.

Which was probably why he looked so tired right now. He himself wasn’t tired, but thanks to the storm he had nothing to do.

Stepping quietly over to the bed, I glanced at the nearby lamp. It hung over my side of the bed, right above a small end table. It was recently filled, since I remembered it being almost empty the first night we got here… but I didn’t remember seeing Vim fill it.

“Tired?” Vim asked me.

“Oh? No… I was thinking of putting it out for you,” I said.

“Me?” he raised an eyebrow at me… which looked a little funny since he was pretty much laying down on his side. His head was angled oddly, since it rested on his hand.

“You look like you need a nap,” I said.

Vim frowned and blinked slowly… as if about to fall asleep. “Probably because I had to deal with fools the last few days…” he grumbled.

“Do you really need to include me in that statement?” I asked him.

“I do. But I’ll admit you’re not as foolish as some of the others,” he said.

“Some,” I noted.

He smiled but didn’t clarify.

A tiny chirp drew my eyes to the window again. The birds were fine; they were still nestled together on the frame. But the storm had picked up even more. The rain that pelted the window sounded loud, especially to my ears.

The window shook, making an odd sound as a gust of wind buffeted it. Some of the wind must have gotten in, for the lamp flickered a little.

As the lamp flickered, I remembered my book. I had put it on the table near the bed, under the lamp, once I had heard the birds pecking at the window.

I had brought the book of scripture that the chronicler had given me up here. Honestly I hadn’t expected Vim to follow me to the bedroom after Jelti had left. He had been rather focused on cleaning up the house…

Not too long after I had lain down on the bed and went to reading the book, he had come into the room and laid down as well. He had chosen to not get under the covers though, which somewhat upset me. I had wanted to get cozy under them during the storm.

Yet I hadn’t said anything… mostly because he had not said anything either. He had came in, laid down, and said nothing for nearly an hour. Something told me it was because of what I was reading.

Would he get upset if I went back to reading it next to him? When I had put it down he had actually started talking to me again.

Running my finger along the books spine, I smiled at the feeling of my freshly cut nail as it scraped it.

It’s been a long time since I had such clean nails.

Opening my hand, I placed it on top of the book to make it look as if I was studying the book and not my nails.

It was going to take… time to be as efficient as Jelti had been, but I knew I’d get the hang of it.

My gaze drifted over to the small table near the mirror. On it was a hairbrush, and the little blue box that Vim had gotten me.

Odds were he had done so just to get the point across, but I didn’t care.

I’d treasure that thing for my whole life.

“They’re not even big enough for a bite, you know,” Vim said.

Turning to him, I found his eyes were closed. He had probably heard me turn around to look near that area of the room, and had assumed I had been staring at the birds again.

“Why do you think I’m going to mess with them?” I asked him as I knelt down next to the bed.

Vim opened his eyes and then narrowed them as he watched me kneel next to the bed, putting my arms on it and resting my head on them as I stared at him. “You’re a cat,” he said simply.

For a long moment we stared at each other as the storm rumbled outside… and then I laughed.

Putting my face into the comfy blankets, I laughed away at his ridiculous face. He had been so serious!

After a few moments I got myself under control and then looked up at him. He had a small smirk on his face, which told me he had been somewhat teasing me. Maybe even entirely.

“I used to have a bird as a pet,” I told him.

“Oh?”

I nodded and sighed with relief as I finally stopped giggling too. “A big one. It stood up to my knee, and when it opened its wings it could block out the sun when it was on my shoulder,” I said.

“Hm,” Vim nodded, interested.

“I had to kill it. It attacked a young girl,” I said as I remembered the memory.

Vim frowned as I laid my head back onto the bed. I kept Vim in my sight as I took a deep breath, taking in the scent of the blanket.

It smelled like me.

“I know that feeling,” Vim said softly.

I studied his eyes, and realized he knew exactly what I had felt. But…

For a small moment I thought of the thing he had given that wolf. That blue orb, which he had said was the heart of a monster. Of a Monarch.

A Monarch he had said was one of us. One of our ancestors.

Not to mention…

“Jelti was nice,” I said softly.

“I’m sure you’ve noticed a pattern of oddness amongst our people,” he said.

I nodded. I had.

“Was she uh… serious about her jokes?” I asked him.

“You mean her flirting? I’d say they were until you didn’t want them to be jokes anymore,” he said with a smirk.

“I see…” I didn’t really know what to feel about that.

“That book says she should be put to death,” Vim said lightly.

“It does,” I said. The room lit up for a moment as lightning flashed. I waited until the thunder rolled away before shifting upward, sitting up as to look Vim in the eyes.

“Because of that book she can’t openly declare her affection. She’s too scared to even have a wedding, or any kind of ceremony because of it,” Vim said.

“Hm…” I nodded. Jelti had mentioned somewhat that her and Caroline were… together, but not. Not openly.

Vim sighed and rolled over onto his back. He shifted his shoulders as he got comfortable. He was still lying on top of the blanket though.

“You don’t like that I…” I wasn’t sure how to phrase it.

“I have no problem with you believing in anything. I’d be upset if you didn’t just because you thought I wouldn’t appreciate it,” Vim said solidly.

I gulped as I nodded. Yes. That was his belief. Yet…

Slowly standing, I glanced at the book. It looked… dark in this dim room. Even though the book itself was a bright blue in color.

Actually it was a similar color as the little box he had gotten me.

“I like the ideas,” I told him.

“The ideas?”

“The… rules? The morals. I like the idea of being kind and honest. Of being good and steady, especially…” I stopped talking as I realized I was about to say the real reason I liked the idea of the human’s religions.

“Steady… you mean the idea of faith itself, don’t you?” Vim asked.

Shifting a little, I felt stupid. There… really wasn’t any shame in it was there? Vim has made it very clear he believed that everyone had free choice, right? So… so why was I so ashamed to say it in front of him?

I swallowed my shame and nodded. “I like their perception of love, I guess,” I said.

Vim tilted his head at me, and then frowned. “Love? That’s what you like about it?” he asked.

“Well, amongst other things. Like I said before, I don’t like their idea that sins can be forgiven… especially so easily… but I do like how they’re told to value love over anything else,” I said.

“Hm…” Vim didn’t say anything, but I could tell he did want to… but I also knew the reason he didn’t, was the very same reason he’d not admonish me.

If he said certain things it would be the same as him trying to instill his own beliefs upon me. And he wouldn’t do that.

“I’m not going to go join some convent or become a nun Vim, I promise… I just want to learn more about it, that’s all,” I said honestly.

After all if I did, he’d not let me stay with him.

“You could stay here and do that. You’d be amongst like-minded people you know,” Vim said gently.

I hesitated, since it hurt to hear him say that. Had he said it out of kindness, or desire? Maybe he now wanted me gone, after hearing what I had said.

“Just a suggestion Renn, not an order. To be honest I had wanted you to stay here originally, but now I fear leaving you here would turn you into another chronicler,” Vim said with a sigh.

Blinking at him, I slowly sat down onto the bed. I rested upon it, sitting upward as I stared at the man who had so obviously voiced something I hadn’t expected from him. At least not aloud, nor on purpose.

“Would you hate me if I did?” I asked him.

“Hate? No. But I’d be…” he glanced past me, probably to the window. I didn’t look at it though, and stayed focused on his eyes. They were oddly gentle right now. “I’d be disappointed, I guess,” he finished.

“Disappointed,” I repeated.

“I don’t hate the human religions, Renn… I just don’t like anything that tries to tell someone what they can or can’t do, that’s all,” Vim then said.

Ah…

That was true.

Rubbing my forearm, I tried to imagine it from his perspective. He was such a believer in free-will… it probably bugged him in an unexplainable way when he heard or saw someone or something claim that a godly being was giving an order. To tell people what they could or couldn’t do.

For him that was probably evil all in itself.

“You’re a peculiar man, Vim,” I said softly.

“Sometimes,” he agreed.

The storm shot forth more lightning, and for a long moment I sat in silence. I watched as the noisy world illuminated the room, and thus Vim, several times over.

He was lying there with closed eyes and… honestly looked asleep. But I knew he wasn’t.

Looking down at my hands as one last flash lit up the room, I stared at my now short fingernails.

I couldn’t remember the last time they had been this short… nor this clean. Usually they broke or chipped, and felt rigid or sharp even when shorter… now though they were smooth. So smooth I wished I had an itch to scratch, just to enjoy the feeling.

“Did you cut yourself?” Vim then asked as the thunder also died off.

“Huh…? No… I just… they feel smooth,” I said, and then held out my fingers for him to touch.

Vim reached over, touching my fingertip with his own. “Hmph,” he smiled at me.

Smiling back at him, I felt oddly childish as I kept my finger on his.

“Tomorrow’s the main festival right?” I asked him.

“It is. Then we can finally leave,” he said.

I nodded. He really did seem to want to leave. I wondered if maybe it wasn’t just the fact that this was a giant church that he disliked it here. Maybe there was more to it than that alone.

“Storms dying down a little,” Vim noticed.

“Already…?” I asked with a glance to the window.

Sure enough, although it was still dark… and seemingly growing darker, the window wasn’t rattling as much as it had been. Nor were the raindrops splashing up against it as violently.

“Do I get to meet anyone else before we leave?” I asked him.

“There are four others you haven’t met. They’re… weary of newcomers. I can’t introduce them to you, they need to be the ones to come and say hi to you first,” Vim said. He pushed on my finger a little with his, forcing my hand upwards.

“Oh… Am I that scary Vim? I had scared Link too,” I asked as I pushed back.

“Scary…?” He sat up a little to study me.

I gulped, and wondered if maybe I really was.

After a moment Vim scoffed. “You’re terrifying,” he said, and then laid back down. Our fingers almost separated as he did so.

Opening my mouth to argue, I realized he was probably teasing me. Or at least, not saying it with the intention that I had interpreted it as.

“I see,” I said softly.

“You’re a predator, Renn. And you’re a woman. That makes a lot of them nervous around you. Remember Silkie?” Vim asked.

“Of course I do,” I stated.

He shrugged, uncaring about my unhappy tone. “Some will be like Jelti. Happy to meet you. Others will be like Link, or Silkie. It’s just a part of our life. The way we are. I hope you get used to it soon, because if you don’t you’re going to be in trouble. Most of the places we’ll be visiting for awhile will be purely prey. The more especially weak willed ones,” Vim said.

“Great…” I groaned.

“Want to give up?” he asked.

“No!”

He nodded, but I blushed as he did. I had yelled a little loudly. One of the birds chirped, as if in annoyance at my outburst.

Our fingers had separated a little, but I quickly put mine back against his. It was such a silly thing, but I suddenly didn’t want to be the one to cause us to separate.

Before I could say anything, or even decide what I wanted to say… Vim gave me a weird smirk.

“Want to dance tomorrow?” Vim asked.

“Dance?”

He nodded, and slowly pulled his finger away. I blinked and wanted to complain, but knew better than to do so. He’d find it weird that I wanted to keep touching him. “We’ll do it here; they’d find it weird if you wore a hat while doing so… So we’ll go watch them, long enough for you to see it, then we’ll come back here,” he said.

“Wait, you mean actual dancing?” I asked him.

He nodded with a frown.

Smiling at the idea I nodded. “Yes!”

“Figured,” he said with a chuckle.

My tail made noises as it swayed along the edge of the bed. “We could dance now,” I offered. It was too dark for me to read now anyway.

Vim stared at me for a moment, and I smiled happily at him.

“I’ll only do it once. Do you want to do it now or tomorrow?” he asked me.

Hesitating, I wondered why he’d… “Well… I mean…” I groaned as I thought about it.

I really wanted to do it now. I myself had never danced with a man before, but I had seen it many times before throughout the years. Nory and I had sometimes danced around together too, but she hadn’t really liked doing it so we had only done it a few times…

Yet…

“If you do it now and watch it all tomorrow during the festival you might regret it,” Vim warned.

“I know…” I groaned as I tried to decide.

He was right. If I saw a bunch of people, hundreds possibly, dancing around happily tomorrow… I’d want to join in. I always did, after all.

“Though maybe you could dance with someone else. Believe it or not but Hands is a good dancer, he has rhythm,” Vim offered.

“No! We’ll dance now, come on,” I hurriedly reached out and grabbed him by the arm before he could tease me or change his mind.

I leapt off the bed, pulling him along.

Vim sighed, but obliged… until he realized I was taking him out of the room.

“Where are we going Renn?” Vim asked, but I could tell he already knew the answer.

Giggling happily, I ignored his worried look as I headed for the front door.

The storm was still going, but it had died down a little. The rain wasn’t falling as hard as it had been… and the lightning and thunder now sounded far off in the distance, away from us.

A shower, but with little wind, and the air smelled clean. Yet thanks to the dark clouds, the world was dark. Too dark for anyone to see us. To see me.

It was the perfect moment.

Pulling Vim out into the rain, I laughed at him as he willingly accepted his fate.

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