The world outside the window was dark, but off in the distance a bright moon was peeking behind dark clouds. It looked, and smelled, like another storm was heading our way. I hoped if it was, the ship wouldn’t try to sink again.

Though, if Roslyn made the right choice… even if the ship sunk it wouldn’t matter. Vim would protect them. Since they’d be members then.

Right now though I was starting to doubt he’d do anything else to help them. Ever since our dinner he’s become… almost lethargic. Even though there were still things he could help with, he was just…

“You don’t have to do what I do Renn. You’re free to try and convince them further, if you’d like,” Vim said from beneath me.

“I know. But… you obviously do what you do for a reason. All the years you’ve been doing this, I’m assuming you figured out it was better to… stay back a bit, and let them decide for themselves,” I said as I studied the back I sat upon.

He wore a shirt still, but just the thin undershirt. He usually wore another layer or two, especially when he wore the leather set that matched my own. He’d taken it off the other day, when he had fallen asleep, and ever since he hadn’t put it back on.

The shirt he had on now was the one usually hidden beneath the leather and other layers. It was… a little thin, and old. It had holes and tears in it, which made me wonder when and where they had occurred.

As far as I was aware the clothes he had worn while fighting that creature in Lumen had all gotten destroyed. So… did that mean this set was just another he’s had the entire time, or did he just pick up a random set of clothes from somewhere? They were worn and tattered… Even the old clothes we had handed out in Lumen as disaster relief were better off than the one he had on. And…

Sticking my finger into one of the holes, I noted the feeling of his muscular back beneath it. Yes. This hole wasn’t just from casual wear. Something had cut it there… The fibers were too finely sliced. This wasn’t a rip at all.

Vim was so odd. Why didn’t he just get new clothes occasionally…? Maybe I should start doing so for him, since he obviously didn’t seem to notice or care. I knew it wasn’t like he actually cared about it, nor did it affect him in any way… but sometimes people noticed.

“For some it’s better to step back and let them reach their own conclusion, yes. But if you’re looking for my own opinion… these people would benefit from a small push,” Vim said.

“You sure do like to offer me advice, even when it so obviously goes against your own desires,” I teased him.

Vim sighed, and I noted the way I barely moved… But that was more-so because I was sitting on his lower back, not his chest area.

He was lying on his belly, and his arms were crossed beneath his head and pillow. It was an odd sight, honestly. Vim has laid down in bed with me on many occasions, but he’s never really… laid so lazily before. On his side, sure, especially when we were talking… but this was him being strangely defenseless.

It was one of the main reasons I was here with him in the room, and not with Roslyn and the rest… doing exactly what he was telling me to do.

“Tell me Vim, you believe in free will so strongly… yet sometimes you voice an opinion that contradicts it. Why is that?” I asked him.

“Free will is something I believe to be a right. But just because it’s a right, doesn’t mean it’s always the correct choice,” he said.

“Yet you’ve never gone against it, as far as I’m aware,” I said.

He nodded, and I noted a section of hair along his neckline. A small line of skin was visible, running up his neck and into his hair. An old scar, stopping hair from growing properly. I’d never noticed it before, likely thanks to the angle I usually saw him from. “I don’t go against it. But you’re free to do so, Renn. That’s part of the free will mandate. You have the right to impose your own will on others. I don’t,” he said.

“But… if I want to be like you, don’t I have to see it the same way?”

He tilted his head, and I wished he hadn’t been laying the way he was. I wanted to see his facial expressions. “I’d rather you did what you felt was right. Don’t do anything just because you think it’s what I would do. Especially so, Renn. Half the stuff I do makes no sense, not even to me.”

“Hm… I did go against your wishes, didn’t I? By telling Roslyn about us the other night,” I reminded him.

Vim’s shoulders shifted as he shrugged. “You did. But that’s fine. I had expected it, I guess.”

He guessed.

Leaning back, I rested against the wall. The bed was a smaller one, small enough that I could do such a thing. But it was mostly thanks to the fact that Vim had actually laid down on the bed near the wall, as to give me room to lay down next to him. He had not expected me to sit on him instead.

It was his fault though. How could he not realize I’d not be able to pass up such an opportunity?

“Did I make a mistake Vim?” I asked him.

“You make many mistakes Renn. But… most of them are ones I’d have made too, so don’t worry about it,” he said.

Raising an eyebrow at him, I wondered which he had in mind when he said such a thing. Stuff like Lamp and Roslyn… or those that had actually hurt, like the ones in Lumen or Ruvindale?

“You brought Lamp to me, Vim. I hadn’t done that one,” I argued with him.

“I still gave you the right to decide, Renn. You and her, during your conversation and… ear touching? Made the decisions, not me,” Vim argued back.

Was that how he saw it? Did that mean that Vim didn’t see the match that started the fire as the cause, but instead the kindling that spread it?

An odd viewpoint, honestly. Especially from him.

Though he was likely instead just… looking at it from a loophole. One that let him dance around his strange rules without breaking them.

“This one worries me though,” I said honestly.

“As it should. You’re choices, words, and actions are affecting lives. Many lives. And not just of the humans either,” Vim said.

Right. My stomach knotted again in worry, reminded once more.

Vim chuckled beneath me, and I couldn’t help but smile at the feeling of it. He let his laughs vibrate through his whole body; it was a rather childish trait.

“Why the second guesses Renn? You had been rather gung-ho about it during the dinner,” Vim asked.

“Gun what?” I asked.

Suddenly the muscles beneath me went stiff. I quickly put a hand onto his lower back, near where I was sitting… to feel the way his muscles were coiling around. I felt them tighten… then slowly loosen and relax.

Huh.

“You were enthusiastic. You were doing your best to convince Roslyn to join… honestly you did so well I half expected her to agree before we even finished eating,” Vim explained. I noted his tone. He knew I had felt him tense up, and based off the… distant voice he was speaking with, he didn’t want me to bring it up.

“Vim… why do you get so worried when you say things I don’t understand, or know about?” I dared to ask him.

For a few moments Vim didn’t say anything… then he lowered his head into the pillow. At first I wondered if he was going to pretend to fall asleep, or something equally childish, but instead Vim raised his head back up again with a sigh.

“It’s not the words that bother me, really… you can learn them if you wish… it’s the meaning of those words that bothers me. Whenever we talk… and I say something like that, it’s proof that I’m becoming far too comfortable in your presence. I’m too relaxed. Your presence is becoming so natural to me that I’m saying things I shouldn’t,” he admitted.

“That sounded like it hurt to say,” I said gently.

“You have no idea,” he said.

Smiling at him, I patted his back, as if to thank and comfort him. “Why is… getting comfortable with me such a bad thing, Vim?” I asked.

“We’ve talked about it before Renn,” he said.

We had. That night in Lumen, and a few other instances… but…

“I still don’t see why that’s such a horrible thing, Vim. If anything it should be… a good thing,” I said.

“One day you’ll understand. Regrettably,” he mumbled.

Would I? Although a part of me was excited to do so… I knew he wasn’t just being coy.

I very likely would understand one day… and it was also very likely that such understanding would not come without pain or sorrow.

Deciding to change topics, and return to the main one at hand… I coughed and shifted a little. Vim wasn’t uncomfortable, but for some reason I felt as if he was so. Maybe I was just a little too conscious of what I was doing.

“Roslyn isn’t exactly a good person, Vim,” I said.

“Oh yea?” I could hear Vim’s smile in his voice.

I slowly closed my hand, forming a fist on his back. As I did so I slid my fingernails along his worn shirt. “Yes. Don’t tease me over this, I’m trying to have an honest conversation,” I said.

Vim chuckled. “We’re having one Renn. My teasing of you is me being more honest than you know,” he said.

Pondering his words for a moment, I decided to tuck them away for later.

I wasn’t foolish. I knew that Roslyn and her people weren’t… the most moral people.

They killed. Stole. Sold their bodies. Yet they did such a thing to survive… so I wasn’t really willing or able, to judge them too harshly for their actions.

But…

“She… and the rest of the women on this ship would not be accepted by many of our members,” I said.

“Let me guess, you’re thinking of the feeble ones. The pious ones,” he said.

“Well… yeah?”

“Then I think you’re… slightly misunderstanding my intentions or rather my plan for them, if they decide to join,” he said.

“Oh?” I leaned forward, pushing on his back as to support the motion. Even while leaning over I still couldn’t see his face…

Vim nodded. “I plan to place them under Ronalldo’s supervision. These women may not be pirates in the truest sense, but they’re closer to pirates than not. Why place them where they don’t feel comfortable? On a ship they’ll be at home, and Ronalldo can use both the help and the responsibility,” Vim explained.

Ronalldo. The young pirate boy I never got to meet. “Is he a good man, Vim?” I asked.

“Ronalldo? I believe so, yes.”

High praise, and since it was coming from Vim I knew it was honest too.

“Do you know what they did? To their husbands?” I asked.

“Killed them, right? They were going to sell them into servitude,” he said.

I nodded, and then remembered he couldn’t see me. “They all agreed to do it. They all killed each other’s husbands. I’ve been told that only Roslyn killed her own husband,” I told him.

“She is a proud woman,” he said.

It was more than that… but at the same time he was right. “Should you really put such women under the authority of another man? A pirate no less?” I asked.

“If you knew how many of them have tried to pull me into their beds since we’ve been here, you’d not be so worried over such a thing,” he said.

“Oh?” I perked up at that, and felt a tiny tinge of pain as my tail thumped against his thigh.

“They’ll be fine under Ronalldo, Renn. If anything it’ll put them to good use.”

I wanted to groan at him, but knew better than to do so.

Vim wasn’t as bad as some of our members… but he was still… well…

An ancient non-human.

He sometimes saw humans the same way those like Lawrence or Gerald did. Tools. Resources. Things to use, and if they couldn’t be used then… well…

“Humans are people too, Vim,” I whispered at him.

Vim at first said nothing, nor moved… then he shifted.

I had to sit up a little, and push against him as he rolled over. One moment I sat on his back, the next I was sitting on his belly.

Smiling at him, I felt a strange rush of blood color my face as I suddenly became very aware that I was sitting on top of him.

Vim remained lying down, but instead of crossing his arms under his head he instead crossed them on his chest.

“They are human. And yes. They’re individuals. They have lives. Stories. Hopes and dreams. Just like we all do,” he agreed.

“Yet you’ll use them. Making them like the very thing they had killed their husbands to stop themselves becoming,” I argued.

Vim smiled at me, and I grew even hotter. Hopefully he mistook my blush for anger, but I knew he probably saw through it.

“I’ll use them. Abuse them. If I can, yes,” he admitted.

“You’re not supposed to be that cruel,” I whispered at him.

“Cruel… yes. I am. Often. But in that cruelty, is kindness,” he said.

Kindness…?

“What if they do survive the trip? What if they do survive Ronalldo’s assessment and tests? And then Lawrence’s and Brandy’s? Then instead of dying or wasting their lives here on this river… slowly dying from starvation or disease, they instead join our Society. They work. Live amongst us, and survive. They adapt. They become another regiment in our ranks. They’ll not need to worry over food or disease. They’ll be able to have homes, and futures. They’ll be able to raise families and children, and settle down as they grow older. Who knows, maybe I’ll get lucky and Ronalldo will pick one of them too. Roslyn or her daughter, or something. Thus not only saving many, but ensuring a continuation of the bloodline that has proven itself to me many times over,” Vim told me his thoughts.

Breathing evenly, I did my best to ignore the footsteps outside our room. Someone was walking past our room, and heading down the stairs. Although I ignored them, I still waited until I heard them descending before speaking.

“Where is your free will Vim? You’re deciding not just their lives, but even the lives of their future generations. How is that free will?” I asked him.

Vim chuckled. “You think too highly of me. I only hope. I hope they make it to Lumen. I hope they pass Ronalldo’s and the other’s tests. I hope they make no mistakes, and follow the rules. I hope they live long, prosperous lives. I hope they co-mingle with the other humans we’ve taken under our umbrellas, and give birth to more studious and devout bloodlines. But at the end of the day Renn… it’s all just a hope. They’re free to do as they wish. They can get there, argue against working on our ships and instead ask to work in the company instead. Or just… disappear after a few months. You don’t actually think we enforce our desires on them, do you?” he asked.

“Well… no, Vim. I was just arguing over perspectives,” I said.

“Perspectives. Semantics,” he said with a huff.

“Another word, Vim,” I said with a smile as I poked him in the stomach.

He frowned. “So it was.”

Giggling at him, I shifted… and realized the front of his shirt had a huge hole. Right where his heart would be.

“Vim, why do you wear such… decrepit clothes? Are you pretending to be poor?” I asked as I poked at it.

“Sometimes, yes. Haven’t you noticed how people treat you funny Renn? It’s not just because you’re beautiful, it’s because of how well you dress. And the fact you’re so clean. Look, not even a speck on your nails,” he said with a small tap on my hand.

Smiling at his touch, I nodded. “I’ve noticed. Roslyn asked if I was a princess, before… all this happened,” I said.

“Hmph,” Vim shook his head, and I wondered if he found the idea ridiculous, or the fact that I was speaking of such a thing fondly.

Probably both.

“So you’re not worried then. You don’t believe they can harm the Society in any way?” I asked.

“Of course they can. But that’s a risk we take. And before you say anything, I don’t like it at all… but Lumen has made their choice. They voted in favor of growing with Lumen, and getting involved in all the politics. I do not like it. If I had it my way I would have put a stop to that foolishness decades ago… but nothing goes my way. So since they seem so hell-bent on getting involved with all the humans, then I figure I may as well take advantage when I can,” Vim said.

“Advantage…?”

He nodded. “These women. Pirates. Southern pagans. Part of the reason Roslyn and her daughter weren’t shaken by your ears, or what we’re offering, is because they have many legends and stories of our kind. Non-humans, demons, and whatnot. Plus they’re surrounded by nations with fairy tales and mysteries. Like the Nation of Stone ruled by an immortal witch,” he said with a smirk.

“Oh!?” I grew interested in that, but Vim continued before I could ask more.

“They’re like Lamp and her people. They’ll be able to blend in well. Conforming easily. Plus, thanks to their harsh lives… they’ll be very gracious for all we can give them. For a few generations at least, they’ll be loyal beyond doubt. It usually takes three or four generations before they forget where they came from,” he said.

“I… don’t like how clear it is how you know this so well. It’s unsettling,” I said.

He shrugged. “I’ve been doing this a long time.”

A little too long, maybe.

“Plus… with Brom dead, and Reatti on the brink… another layer of added security would be a godsend. I plan to make Ronalldo a commander. A naval powerhouse. With them under his command, he’ll have a very loyal and deadly crew. Especially so if he falls for one of them and starts a family,” he said.

Ah. So the real truth finally came to light. He planned to make them…

“I didn’t think of that…” I barely got the words out as my mind rushed wildly.

Brom died. Reatti was broken. He was right… she was on the brink. She could disappear at any moment, without warning, because of what happened.

They were Lumen’s protectors. Without them… they only had Merit. Merit, Brandy and Lawrence, were the only ones capable or willing to fight and kill… as far as I was aware. And Brandy didn’t stay in Lumen all the time. Just like Vim she usually was traveling around, and Lawrence I’ve heard never stands and fights unless his own life was at stake.

Which meant Merit was the sole defender left…

“Renn…” Vim sighed as he reached out. He took my hand gently, and I realized he was doing so because I was about to cry.

“I know,” I said, and did my best to stop the incoming burst of emotions. My eyes were already watery and…

I let Vim hold my hand as I got my emotions under control.

How embarrassing. I was trying so hard to not get like this. I thought I had been doing really good too… other than that day when we left Herra’s home, I hadn’t broken or…

“And here I thought you’d cry over the girls, not the past,” he said softly.

“Why the girls?” I asked and coughed. I wiped my face as he smirked at me.

“I was worried you’d fall in love with them. You seem to have a penchant for downtrodden women, so…”

Smiling at him, I felt a little… naked before him. How long has he known?

“I think it’s because I see myself in them,” I said.

“Mhm,” he raised an eyebrow, but didn’t seem willing to argue with me. And I knew he could.

Me? Downtrodden? Hardly.

I was happier, healthier, and freer than I ever had been. Broken bones and scarred heart included.

And pretty much all of it was thanks to him.

“I’ve… decided to not get too close to humans anymore,” I said.

“Oh?”

I nodded. “They die,” I said.

Vim’s small smile softened… and died. “We all die, Renn.”

I nodded again. “I know. But they… they go so quickly. My heart can’t take it anymore. It’s why after a point I started distancing myself from Lamp. So I’d not… fall in love with her more than I had, and end up staying with her,” I told him.

Vim’s eyes held my own, and I wondered how his eyes were always so… steadfast. I had seen him cry before, but only twice. Once when he had burnt all those paintings in Ruvindale. And then once again, because of paintings, in Lumen. When he had seen the painting of Rungle and Stumble for the first time.

Although I’ve seen grief and sorrow several times since… he had not cried for any other reason.

And in honesty, neither of those times had Vim actually sobbed or broken. He had simply shed a few tears, nothing more.

He being able to grieve in such a way told me he was more than just a warrior, or a simple man. Yet… it worried me that the only things he showed such emotion for were so…

So what…?

He cried not for the deaths of his friends, but the burning of their memories. It was an odd thing… but somehow gentler.

Vim didn’t break even upon seeing Brom’s dead body. But… surely he had cried after, right? Or at least shed a tear…?

Or was he so numb that he’d go years before even registering it?

Maybe that was why Vim kept such a distance. Maybe it was more than just him trying to not display favoritism. Maybe it was something much simpler.

What if his aversion to our relationship was the same thing I now had for humans?

“Is this what you feel for the rest of us, Vim?” I asked him.

Vim’s mouth opened, to say something… but nothing came out. His eyes narrowed, and suddenly the man beneath me was lost in thought.

Squeezing his hand, I waited patiently as the man sorted his thoughts and emotions. It didn’t take him long, it never did, and after a moment Vim slowly nodded.

“Yes. I believe it is,” he accepted.

“Does it ever get easier?” I asked him.

“No,” he whispered.

Taking a sharp breath, I once again had to fight back the sobs. I had expected such an obvious answer… but it still terrified me to hear it.

“I’m sorry,” I said to the man I would likely hurt very deeply some day.

Vim’s smile returned and he squeezed my hand. “Sometimes one must hurt, to be reminded why they live,” he said.

“A very warrior-like thing to say,” I said.

He shrugged.

“If they say no, what will you do?” I asked him.

“Nothing. Unless they threaten us for some reason. Even if they went to someone with authority and tried to tell them about us, no one would believe them. Especially in a land ruined by war and disease,” he said.

“Kind of you,” I said.

“I try, Renn,” he said softly.

I nodded. He did. In his own way.

“Consider it an apology. I had almost killed the girl on the deck earlier… I feel bad about it,” Vim said with a sigh.

Squeezing his hand for a different reason, I dug my nails into the back of his hand. Or well, as much as I could. It was interesting that I couldn’t feel my nails actually cut into his skin, even though I was squeezing rather harshly.

“What do you mean by that?” I asked him.

Vim sighed and nodded. “She revealed that she saw your ears, or knew about them. I… reacted on instinct. I stopped myself, but it almost happened. Usually I’m not so touchy,” he said.

Ah… wait… when they had been on the deck together…Before dinner? “Is that when the ship moved sharply?” I asked. I had almost dropped all the eels when that happened.

He nodded.

Really…? How had he done it? The girls had said it had felt like we hit the bank of the river.

“Why have you been so agitated lately, Vim?” I asked him, choosing to focus on that instead. He’d not tell me how he had done it, anyway. Vim kept many secrets, and his abilities were one of them. Maybe even one of if not his biggest secret.

It was interesting he’d be so honest about it. Granted Vim had never really seemed too prideful to me. He was usually willing to make self-depreciating jokes and admit his faults, but…

For him to be so bothered that he had almost killed a little girl for such a reason was… well… concerning.

“Usually I’d tease you as an answer, but…” Vim’s eyes slowly went down, and I realized where he was looking.

Blood rushed to my face again, and I knew this time I had no chance to mask it with anger. It was too obvious.

“Don’t see why you’d complain. You have plenty of opportunities on this boat, don’t you?” I asked him, even as my face got hotter.

Vim’s smile turned into a smirk. “Why would I care about them, when I have such a promising one on top of me already?” he asked back.

Clenching my jaw, I squeezed my hand again. This time I actually tried to dig my nails into his hand, and… well…

After a few moments of glaring into each other’s eyes, I frowned and leaned forward a little and spun my hand… as to bring Vim’s hand into view. I angled it so I could see where I was trying to dig into the back of his hand.

“Hm?” Vim let it happen as I stared at the spots where my nails had tried to dig into his skin. There were very slight indents, but nothing else. No cuts. No bruises. His skin wasn’t even red with irritation.

It was as if I hadn’t just tried to dig into his skin with all my might.

Which was very strange. My nails were smooth right now. I had cleaned them and brushed my tail yesterday, so they were recently filed. But… even with that taken into account, I knew my strength. I knew what it could do. Not only should I have been able to at least slightly cut into his skin with my nails, I should have also left red marks and bruises.

“You’re an oddity, Vim,” I said softly.

“So are you, Renn.”

Frowning at him, I wondered what to think of him. I knew he was strong… it was obvious… but…

But he was still a man right? Still flesh and blood?

His skin didn’t feel any different. Maybe a little thicker than mine, and rougher… but…

“If I grabbed one of your little steel knives… would I be able to stab you?” I asked him.

“Hm, maybe I did take my teasing a little too far,” he mumbled.

Laughing at him, I smacked his chest with my free hand. “Shut it!”

Source: Webnovel.com, updated by NovelKeep