For once in my life, I felt lost. And I wasn’t lost, because I was following Vim. And Vim never got lost.

We weren’t walking very fast, since we had two wagons behind us. There was a tad fewer than fifty people, forty-seven, riding and walking along said wagons. They were all wearing the colors of the Church of Saints, though most didn’t have robes on. The weather was too cruel for such attire, what with the cold wind.

They were the last remnants of our members from the Kingdom of Flowers. A kingdom that no longer existed, with its royal family slaughtered and all its major cities currently ablaze.

The Kingdom of Flowers hadn’t been our kingdom, we hadn’t been related to it in anyway. Pretty much all of our kingdoms were gone, even Merit’s Oasis was dried up and gone. But the chaos of the war that had swept across the nation had made it difficult for our people, per usual. Luckily most had evacuated and moved long before the war even got too bad, but these people hadn’t. The worse the war got, the harder they worked and more they got involved.

I wasn’t entirely sure why they had waited so long to leave such a destroyed country, but I assumed it was because of their faith. They had been running a wayward point for refugees fleeing the country. Helping the destitute and downtrodden. I didn’t fault them for such a thing, though I did find the idea of a bunch of non-humans risking their lives and identities in such a way rather foolish. Why didn’t they let the humans handle it? Didn’t the Church of Saints and Songs have countless human members now? Should have just left it to them.

Wonder what Vexli would think of such a thing. She, like the rest of her village, were a tad too kindhearted in my opinion. Odds are they’d have stayed just as long as to help, if they had been in such a position… Which meant I’d have stayed too, and…

I flinched as I realized I was once again thinking of her.

What was that? The tenth time in as many minutes?

Glancing at Vim, I bit the inside of my cheek as I tried to comprehend how distracted I was.

I mean, I didn’t really have to be on guard. Vim was here. And we were no longer in the collapsed kingdom of flowers, we were now in the lands of the blind. The far southern reaches of it sure, but it was still safe. Honestly Vim’s presence alone made it as safe as can be.

No one was hurt. No one needed medical attention, or anything. Everyone here was competent. One of the nuns even had a heart within them, a rather strong one per Vim’s earlier statement. So there was really no need to feel as if I was a failure for not being fully alert and getting lost in my mind… but still!

Lately I’d been finding myself thinking of her and her village more and more. It was what I thought about most, I think… but usually I was still able to distance myself. Still able to focus on my task at hand and not feel… so…

“What’s wrong, Tosh?”

I blinked and looked up, finding Vim who had slowed a bit so he could walk beside me. He had spoken quietly, likely as to not be heard by the people behind us, but not so quietly that I could pretend to have not heard him.

“I uh… I’m distracted,” I admitted.

“Can tell. About what? Or is it who?” Vim asked with a smile. The kind of smile that told me he already knew full well what was wrong with me.

Which meant he’d soon be teasing me about it… which made me wish I had not fallen prey to my weak thoughts. Lately Vim’s teasing had been a tad too on the nose, and it made me want to squirm in embarrassment.

But…

Gulping a little, I nodded. “Something is wrong with me Vim…” I admitted, deciding to just take the opportunity to say so. Maybe being honest with him wouldn’t just keep me from being teased, but would help me actually find an answer to the reason.

“Hm,” Vim simply nodded, patiently waiting for me to explain.

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So… I tried my best to. “I’m distracted. Terribly. I can’t focus, and it’s so bad that it worries me. What if something drastic happened? What if I had to perform surgery? It’s one thing to fail someone because of not being skilled enough, or things out of your control, but what if someone died because I wasn’t paying attention…? It’d just…” I knew I was rambling a little, but it was all true. I couldn’t stop thinking about Vexli, to the point it was concerning.

“Tosh… you can’t be serious…” Vim said.

I wanted to growl at him. “Don’t sound so disappointed! I’m being serious!”

“I can tell. Want me to slap you over the head or just tell you the truth?” Hesitating a moment, I was about to ask for both but Vim didn’t give me a chance. He simply reached over and thumped me on the chest, right above my heart. “You’re in love with her, idiot,” he told me.

About four steps later I came to a stop.

Vim did too, and I closed my eyes as my head started to hurt.

Of course.

“Can’t say I’m surprised. If anything I’m surprised it took so long. So? Do you want a congratulations, or should I start to tease you now?” Vim asked.

Reaching up, I rubbed my face as I groaned.

One of the horses pulling the nearest wagon huffed behind me, telling me it was annoyed I was in its way. I stepped forward, returning to walking next to Vim as I swallowed a bunch of curses and slurs, mostly ones directed at myself.

I was in love with her! It was so obvious now, to the point I felt like a fool. I deserved to be laughed at!

“That’s why she’s been saying that stuff lately. She’s upset that I’ve not said it, or admitted it,” I groaned. My most recent visit, she had stood there all awkwardly as I had put shoes on as to take her home. Since it had gotten late.

She had been waiting for me to simply tell her to stay. That she didn’t need to leave just because it was time to sleep.

Suddenly so much made sense, and I now didn’t just feel like an idiot I felt like an absolute jerk.

Vim placed an arm around my shoulder, pulling me into him as if I was a kid and he my big brother. He squeezed me a bit as we picked up our pace, telling me I had started to slow again and allowed the horses to get too close.

“How long have you been seeing her now?” he asked.

“I… I don’t know. A couple dozen years, I guess…” I groaned. Gods I was terrible! No wonder she’s been so prickly lately! What kind of man took this long to notice? Especially me!

“Hm… wait. Why do you look like your life is over? What’s wrong?” Vim asked, studying me.

“Because it may as well be…” I moaned.

“What…? Because you’re now going to want only one woman? Are you that much of a fiend?” he asked, teasing.

“No! Because I’ve screwed up!” I said, defending myself. He thought I was upset that I was now not going to get to indulge in other women? Did he not realize I’d not done such a thing in… well…

My stomach started to hurt as I realized I’d not slept with anyone since I met Vexli. Since that night her sister had died under my care.

How the hell had I not noticed, then?

“So…? Screwed up how?” Vim asked, a little gently.

I sighed and nodded. “She’s been waiting. All this time. For me to just tell her. And because I’ve not noticed…” I gestured a little in front of me, as if I could somehow point directly at the reason I was so stupid.

“Ah. Right. Well, luckily for you she’s full-blooded. Plus a lizard. They live a long time. Next time you see her just set the record straight and do what you’re supposed to. Be a man,” Vim said with a pat on my shoulder.

“Easy for you to say Vim.”

“It is,” he said with a small snicker.

Sighing at him, I nodded. “Fine… I love her. What do I do now, then?” I asked my friend and teacher, hoping for insight.

“Marry her? Settle down? Have children? Raise them to be grumpy little doctors like yourself? Really Tosh it’s not that complicated,” Vim said with a smirk.

Again. For you, maybe.

Vim then gave my shoulder another squeeze. “I’m happy for you. Might want to check and make sure you don’t got a bunch of kids running around first though, or at least let the lizard know beforehand. Lizards are known to eat the offspring of their mates that aren’t theirs, it’s a territorial thing,” he said.

Shaking my head at him… I couldn’t help but smile.

Vexli would find that hilarious. Yet… like always, Vim spoke with a tad hint of truth.

They did indeed have a custom of monogamy. One that lasted even beyond death. Maybe Vim was trying to warn me about something she’d actually do if I wasn’t careful.

Although I couldn’t help but think about Vexli… for the rest of the trip north I thought long and hard of all the other women I’ve known, as to check and to make sure just in case… Diagnosing myself, as if to check for diseases before I asked for her hand in marriage.

Better safe than sorry, after all.

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