Chapter 20: Humans May Not Be So Bad After All

Luna actually almost nodded in agreement.

Almost.

But she quickly shook her head. No. This wasn’t the time to think about human intelligence—or lack thereof.

Right now, her sister was hurt. And she was finally in control.

So Luna straightened herself, took a steady breath, and said firmly,

“…Please move forward. Do what you have to do.”

She tugged gently on the string—not enough to hurt him, but enough to remind him she held the end.

Luca smiled faintly.

’Too kindhearted.’ He thought.

Even now, threatening him as a hostage she held the string softly, not coldly.

She really was no warrior.

But he didn’t comment on that.

Instead, he crouched beside Lulu.

“Alright.” He said calmly. “Show me the wound. If you hide it from me, I can’t do anything.”

Lulu hesitated, clutching her skirt.

“Luna…” She whispered nervously. “If he tries anything—ANYTHING—to my butt, pull the string. Pull it hard. I’m telling you, this demon WILL try something. I can see it in his eyes. They’re all dark and scary! I can tell he wants my butt!”

Luna nodded.

“If he does anything strange, I’ll pull.”

“GOOD.” Lulu squeaked.

Reluctantly, she turned over, laying on her belly and lifting herself just enough to expose her very round, very plump, very trembling butt.

An arrow stuck out of her right cheek like a bizarre flag.

She winced, peeking over her shoulder.

“NO LOOKING FOR TOO LONG!”

Luca ignored the panic and leaned in, studying the wound with a calm, professional expression.

Then he broke into a bright grin.

“Congratulations!” Luca repeated cheerfully. “You have a VERY thick, VERY fat, and VERY firm butt.”

Both elves turned crimson.

“LUNA PULL THE STRING! PULL THE STRING NOW!!” Lulu shrieked. “HE’S ALREADY STARTING!! IT’S BEEN THREE SECONDS AND HE’S ALREADY PRAISING MY BUTT! THIS IS IT! THIS IS HOW I DIE!”

Even though Luna thought of doing so, she didn’t pull. Instead she sputtered, flustered.

“W-What are you doing?! I asked you to treat her, not make…unsavory comments!”

But Luca rolled his eyes before saying, “Oh,I’m not making ’unsavory comments.’ I’m congratulating her.”

“C-CONGRATULATING ME?!” Lulu squealed, face redder than a tomato.

“Yes.” Luca said, gesturing at her backside. “Because that butt of yours saved you from a LOT of pain.”

Both sisters looked at each other in confusion before—

“What?” Luna asked cautiously.

“I’m serious.” Luca said. “If her ass were flatter—or less firm—or didn’t have all that nice muscle and fat packed together—so bouncy, by the way—”

Lulu let out a high-pitched squeak and covered her face.

“—then the arrow would’ve gone much deeper. I mean it. It would’ve pierced right through, and when I tried to pull it out, half her butt cheek would come with it.”

“H-Half my what?!” Lulu’s soul left her body.

“Half your butt.” Luca nodded solemnly.

“Oh gods…” Lulu whispered, going pale. “My beautiful butt…”

“But don’t worry.” He added lightly. “The arrow barely went an inch deep. You don’t need stitches. Just cleaning. Honestly…” He tapped her cheek gently, making her jump. “…you really should thank your butt for saving you.”

He only said this as a joke. BLulu stared behind her.

Then—

With utter seriousness—

She bowed her head to her own butt.

“Thank you.” She whispered solemnly. “You’ve done well. You’ve protected me courageously. I would kiss you if I could, but sadly I can’t.”

“But maybe I can…”

She suddenly said thoughtfully and tried to lean back to give her booty a smooch but failed to do so and shook her head.

“No, I really can’t. You’ll have to do with a simple thank you until I become a little more flexible.”

Seeing this, Luca couldn’t help it—the laughter just burst out of him.

“Holy shit, you actually thanked your own butt.” He managed between chuckles, wiping a tear from his eye. “I’ve met soldiers who pray to swords, priests who bless their shields. But you…you’re on a whole new level.”

“What’s so funny about it?! My butt saved my life! It’s a national hero now!”

“National hero! Oh, that’s rich.” He laughed harder.

Luna on the other hand covered her face with her hands, her shoulders trembling—not with laughter, but with embarrassment so deep she could practically feel her soul leaving her body.

“By the Goddess…” She groaned. “You’re embarrassing the entire elven race.”

For a brief moment, she genuinely considered grabbing the arrow and shoving it deeper into Lulu’s butt just to silence her.

Lulu, sensing it, scooted her butt protectively away.

But then—

Luca stopped smiling.

He exhaled slowly, his expression shifting into something serious, calmer, more focused, like he was finally about to begin the real task.

Luna braced herself. And then he did something completely unexpected.

He reached into his bag…

Pulled out a folded cloth…

And tied it firmly around his own eyes.

A blindfold.

Then he took out a pair of rubber gloves and began pulling them on.

“W-Why…Why are you tying your eyes?” Luna stared in confusion. “What is that for?! You better not be trying anything sneaky!”

She instinctively tugged the bowstring around his neck, not making it taut but reminding him it was very much there.

Luca only laughed. A calm, reassuring sound.

“There’s nothing sneaky about this.” He said, tightening the knot of the blindfold. “I’m doing this to help you.”

“Help?! How?!” Luna echoed, dumbfounded.

He reached into his bag again and pulled out scissors, ointments, alcohol pads, cloth strips—basic field medic supplies.

“I’m blindfolding myself…” He explained while snapping the gloves in place. “…so I don’t see anything I’m not supposed to see. Basically…” He gestured vaguely in Lulu’s direction. “…your sister’s bare butt.”

Both elves blinked.

“And I’m wearing gloves…” He added. “…so I don’t touch her skin directly. I’m keeping distance where I can.”

Hearing this, it Lulu frowned skeptically.

“That’s…weirdly respectful.” She eyed him like he’d just broken every known rule of human behavior. “Honestly, I thought for sure you’d take this chance to, I don’t know, engrave the sight of my glorious butt into your memory forever or something. Or maybe grope it and call it a medical check-up.”

“I was thinking about that.” Luca admitted bluntly, making her choke.

“WHAT?!” She squeaked, face turning scarlet.

“I was tempted.” He smirked, adjusting his gloves. “I mean, it’s a fine view. I could probably paint it later and hang it somewhere to gaze all day.”

Lulu’s entire body tensed.

“Luna! Pull the string! Pull it now before he starts drawing portraits of my butt!”

Luna, equally red-faced, yanked the string lightly in panic. “Stop teasing her!” She cried, flustered. “I told you to treat her, not flirt with her!”

Luca just laughed.

“I’m kidding, relax. As much as I want to admire the masterpiece that saved her life, right now I’m trying to build a little thing called trust.”

Both sisters blinked in confusion.

“Trust?” Luna repeated softly.

“Yeah.” He nodded. “If I actually mean to help you—to work with your people, I can’t be doing stupid things like that. So, for now, I’ll act decent. Later…” He added with a teasing grin. “…maybe I’ll be a little more shameless.”

“But right now, I’d rather you not think of me as a creep.”

For once, Luna didn’t feel flustered. Hearing the way he said it.without a hint of mockery—she realized he was serious. It wasn’t about his ego or pride; he genuinely wanted to show them he wasn’t a threat.

Something about that made her chest tighten unexpectedly.

He then looked up in her direction, still blindfolded, and asked, “By the way, have you ever learned basic medical care? Anything about removing arrows, daggers, or treating deep cuts?”

Luna hesitated before shaking her head.

“No…nothing like that. I can handle small cuts or scrapes, but not this.”

“That’s fine.” He said easily. “Then consider this a lesson. I’ll talk through everything I do. Watch carefully—who knows, with your sister’s luck, you might need to do this again soon.”

“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?!” Lulu’s ears twitched in outrage.

“It means that I think you’re going to shoot your other cheek one day and I want your sister to be ready when that happens.”

“Why you—!”

“Quiet, patient.” Luna scolded, surprising herself with how easily she echoed his tone.

“Good.” Luca chuckled softly. “You’re already learning the most important rule—never let the patient talk too much.”

He then reached for the scissors next, running his fingers along the blade to test the sharpness.

“Alright.” He said, his tone turning serious again. “First step—always cut through the clothing near the wound. Don’t try to work over fabric.”

“Why?” Luna asked quickly, watching closely.

“Because fabric traps bacteria, blocks access, and if you pour medicine or water over it, it soaks up the filth and keeps it against the wound.” He explained, snipping through the fabric around the arrow. “If you ever try to heal someone through clothes, you’re just sealing in the infection.”

Luna nodded, listening intently like a student during a lesson.

Meanwhile, Lulu gasped dramatically as she heard the sound of her new outfit being cut.

“Hey! Wait a second! This is a new dress! I just got this made last week! Do you have any idea how long it takes to weave elven silk?!”

“Do you have any idea how long you’ll live if this wound gets infected?” Luca replied evenly. “Stop squirming.”

“Ugh!” Lulu groaned, defeated, burying her face in her arms, while Luna tried not to smile at how naturally he handled her sister’s tantrums.

“Now, when you’re dealing with arrows…” Luca continued explaining, his tone patient but authoritative. “…the removal method depends on the type of arrowhead.”

“There are broadheads, barbed tips, leaf-shaped ones, and bodkins. If it’s barbed, you never pull it straight out. That’ll rip through the flesh worse. You push it through or cut it open from the other side.”

Luna’s eyes trembled. “That sounds…awful.”

“It is.” He agreed simply. “And similarly a wide-head arrow requires rotating to avoid tearing. A hooked arrow should never be removed without surgical tools.”

“But sometimes it’s better not to remove the arrow at all. If it’s deep enough, taking it out can make someone bleed to death before you even start healing.”

“That’s not going to happen to me, right?” Lulu, still lying there, whimpered softly.

“No.” Luca chuckled lightly. “Yours is the best-case scenario.”

“R-Really?”

“Really.” He said, gently brushing his gloved fingers around the wound. “It’s shallow, the head’s small, and it’s barely an inch deep. Honestly, it’ll come out cleanly.”

He reached for some guaze and wiped the area around the wound and even though he couldn’t see her ass, the way it bounced around his fingers told him more then enough about how glorious it was.

“Alright.” He said in a lower, steadier voice. “Time to take it out. This might sting a little.”

Luna, standing over him, tightened her grip on the bowstring slightly, her heart racing—not out of distrust anymore, but out of nervous anticipation.

Lulu, meanwhile, closed her eyes tightly, muttering under her breath. “If I die, tell my butt I loved it…”

“You’re not dying, Lulu.” Luna sighed.

But just as Luca’s gloved fingers settled around the arrow shaft and both sisters tensed immediately with Lulu biting down on her lip, thinking that it was going to hurt like hell suddenly out of nowhere, Luca casually said,

“Lulu, I forgot to mention something.”

“W-What?” Her ears twitched.

“Given how stupid you already are.” Luca said calmly, still staring at the arrow. “I’m convinced most of your brain is stuck in this enormous fat ass of yours.”

Both sisters stiffened, while he continued, unfazed.

“So after an injury like this, you’ll probably become even more idiotic than you already are.”

Lulu was confused for a moment about the statement that came out of nowhere before her eyes snapped open in outrage.

“HEY!! What the hell was that supposed to—”

SHLK!

With perfect timing, Luca yanked the arrow out in one swift, clean motion.

“AAAAAAAAAAH!! MY BUTT!! MY BUTT!! WHY DOES IT BURN?!” Lulu shrieked, kicking her legs like a dying beetle. “LUNAAA, HE DID SOMETHING! I CAN FEEL MY INTELLIGENCE LEAVING ME!”

“You didn’t have much to begin with.” Luca muttered.

Luna, meanwhile, stared at the arrow now resting in Luca’s hand. It was intact. Smoothly removed. Barely any blood. His precision was…impressive.

“You…distracted her on purpose?” She said realising why he made such a comment.

“Exactly.” He smiled faintly, setting the arrow aside and reaching for a small tin of ointment. “Whenever you’re treating someone, especially pulling out arrows or daggers—distract the patient.”

“…Anger, surprise, fear, anything that redirects the mind for a few seconds.”

“So you insulted me for relief?!” Lulu groaned into the dirt, clutching her rear.

“Pretty much.” He replied cheerfully, dipping his gloved fingers into the salve. “Now hold still. The hard part’s over.”

“O-Ow! That stings!” She yelped as the cool ointment touched her skin.

“Good.” He said simply. “That means it’s working.”

Luna couldn’t help but stare half-amazed, half-exasperated.

This man. This strange, reckless, maddening human clearly wasn’t what she’d been told humans were like.

He was crass, unpredictable, and far too comfortable making jokes at their expense…yet gentle and oddly considerate in the moments that mattered.

His methods were also unorthodox, his words infuriating. But his hands moved with practiced motion, cleaning and wrapping the wound with ease that gave even someone like her, who considered him as a enemy a sense of safety.

And though she’d never admit it aloud, a small spark of trust began to flicker in her chest as she quietly thought:

’Humans, may not be so bad after all…Or atleast this one.’

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