Chapter 5: Crispy Creature
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- Chapter 5: Crispy Creature
Chapter 5: Crispy Creature
Luca closed his eyes, savoring the cool water against his burning skin.
“Okay.” He muttered to himself. “Time for a damage assessment.” He suddenly sat up, a look of concern crossing his face. “Gotta check…gotta make sure everything is…still there.”
With a swift movement, he unbuttoned his pants and peered inside to look at his goods. And then after getting a good glance, he let out a long, dramatic sigh of relief.
“Ah, thank god!” He announced to the surrounding trees and the silent lake. “Little Luca downstairs is just fine. Didn’t get burned. Thank goodness for small miracles. Wouldn’t want to face Lily again without…you know…all my…parts…intact.”
Не chuckled, a slightly crazed sound echoing across the still water.
“Worth it.” He suddenly muttered to himself, the pain in his body momentarily forgotten. “Knowing those two will be smiling again…that Lily will be back in her kitchen, baking those amazing loaves of bread…Yeah, definitely worth it.”
He sighed, the mirth fading from his face.
“Though, I suppose I won’t be able to just pop in for a fresh loaf whenever I want anymore.” He frowned. “Revealing myself like that…kind of complicates things. Guess I’ll have to move on again.”
He floated on his back, gazing up at the starlit sky.
“It’s funny.” He mused. “Over a thousand years ago, the thought of moving to a new place would have excited me. A chance to escape the boredom, experience a new culture, learn new things, meet new people…the possibilities seemed endless.”
He sighed again, a deeper, more world-weary sound this time.
“But after being alive for…so long. I’ve seen it all. I’ve been everywhere.”
“There’s no place left on this planet that truly interests me anymore. This little town…it was probably the last place that held any real appeal, for some reason. And now…even that’s changing.”
He closed his eyes, the cool water lapping gently against his skin.
“I’m bored.” He whispered, the word laced with a profound sense of somberness. “Bored of living for so long.”
“Bored of eating different foods from different countries over and over again—though Lily’s bread was a definite exception.”
“Bored of watching the dress sense change every few decades.”
“Bored of listening to wars on the news when I’ve experienced several of the ones they write about in history books.”
“Bored of meeting the same old humans, generation after generation.”
“Bored of this world itself.”
He opened his eyes again, staring up at the vast expanse of the cosmos.
“You know what I need?” He asked the stars, a hint of desperation creeping into his voice. “I need a new world. Like in those fantasy novels.”
“A world with magic, with dragons, with…something different. A world where I can finally find something that can entertain me.”
But then he chuckled, a self-deprecating sound.
“Yeah, right.” He scoffed. “Like that’s ever going to happen. A guy can dream, though, can’t he? Stupid idea. Absolutely stupid.” He sighed, the weariness returning. “Guess I’m stuck with this one. This boring, predictable, human world. Forever.”
But just as he was idly contemplating his next destination, wondering if perhaps hitching a ride on a rocket to the moon might offer a change of scenery, Luca heard a faint whizzing sound coming from behind him.
He frowned.
He hadn’t sensed anything, hadn’t heard any other sounds besides the gentle lapping of the water against the shore.
Curiosity piqued, he slowly stood up, wincing slightly as his still-healing skin stretched. He turned towards the source of the noise.
And then he saw it.
Floating just above the shore of the lake, shimmering against the backdrop of the night sky, was a dark blue circle.
It hovered in the air, pulsating gently, emitting the soft whizzing sound that had caught his attention.
It looked…like a portal.
Like something straight out of one of those fantasy novels he had been just thinking about, that kids these days seemed to be so fond of.
His eyes widened in disbelief. He blinked, thinking he was hallucinating, the pain and exhaustion finally taking their toll.
But the portal remained, a swirling vortex of deep blue, beckoning him closer.
If anyone else had stumbled upon such a sight—a shimmering, blue portal floating inexplicably above a quiet lake, they would have likely been terrified.
They would have backed away slowly, their hearts pounding in their chests, unsure of what manner of otherworldly creature or danger might emerge from its depths.
They might have even run, screaming, in the opposite direction.
But Luca was not anyone else.
His reaction was the polar opposite of fear.
His eyes lit up with unadulterated excitement, a manic grin spreading across his still-healing face.
“Yes! Yes! Yes!” He shouted, his voice echoing across the lake. “My prayers have been answered! A portal! A real, honest-to-goodness portal to another world! Right here! Right in front of me!”
“I knew it! I knew it! All those fantasy novels couldn’t be wrong!”
He started hopping from one foot to the other, like a child on Christmas morning.
“This is it! This is it!” He exclaimed. “My ticket out of this boring world! A brand new adventure! A world of magic! Of dwarves! Of…who knows what! This is fantastic! Absolutely fantastic!”
He clapped his hands together, his excitement bubbling over.
“Finally! Something interesting! Something new! Something…different!”
Luca’s excitement was obvious. It wasn’t just the novelty of the situation, or the prospect of escaping his boredom.
It was something deeper, something more profound.
For the first time in a long time, he felt something stirring within him, a genuine thrill coursing through his veins. He felt…alive.
“Can’t waste any time!” He exclaimed, his eyes gleaming with anticipation. “Who knows how long this thing will stay open?”
He took off running towards the portal, his charred limbs pumping, his long strides eating up the distance.
He didn’t want to miss this opportunity, this chance for a new beginning, a new adventure.
But just as he was about to plunge headlong into the unknown, a flicker of doubt crossed his mind.
“Wait a minute.” He muttered, slowing down. “What if it’s a trap? What if it’s some kind of…death portal? Leading to…I don’t know…the fiery pits of hell? Or worse…a dimension of eternal boredom?”
He paused, considering the possibilities. But then, a strange glint entered his eyes.
The mention of his own demise, instead of instilling fear, seemed to excite him even more.
“Well…” He said with a shrug. “Even that would be better than nothing, wouldn’t it? At least it would be…interesting.”
He took a deep breath, the cool night air filling his lungs.
“Farewell, boring world.” He whispered, a hint of fondness mixed with his eagerness. “It’s been…well, it’s been long and I will miss you.”
“But I think it’s time for something new.”
And with that, he stepped into the portal.
The blue light enveloped him, and he vanished, leaving behind only the gentle lapping of the water against the shore and the silent stars twinkling above.
The portal shimmered for a few more seconds, then closed, leaving no trace of its existence.
The lake returned to its usual tranquility, the only witness to the extraordinary event that had just transpired.
Luca was gone, off to a new world, a new adventure, a new beginning.
And somewhere, in a small town, a woman named Lily was dreaming of him, unaware of the incredible journey he had just embarked on.
—
On the other side of the shimmering blue portal, a figure waited.
It was a woman of breathtaking beauty, with long, flowing black hair that cascaded down her back like a waterfall of midnight.
She wore an ethereal gown, woven from starlight and shadows, that shimmered and shifted with every subtle movement.
She was the Goddess of Space, and her face, usually serene and composed, was etched with a hint of worry.
She was waiting for the so-called ’chosen one’, the individual she was tasked with transporting to another world.
But this particular chosen one was…an anomaly.
A chaotic element.
Someone capable of shattering fate lines with a mere glance, someone whose very existence threatened to destabilize the delicate balance of the world he was about to enter.
The Goddess of Space had seen the potential futures, the possible outcomes, and they were…unsettling, to say the least.
She sighed, a sound like the whisper of distant winds.
Transporting him was a risk, a huge risk.
He could cause untold chaos, wreak havoc on the carefully woven tapestry of destiny in the other world.
But she had no choice.
This was a task given to her by her older sister, the Goddess of Equivalent Exchange.
And when the Goddess of Equivalent Exchange gave an order, even the Goddess of Space had no choice but to obey.
You see, the situation in the other world was dire.
The Goddess of Space’s sister, the Goddess of Equivalent Exchange, had countless devotees across numerous realms—but one particular world was facing a catastrophic threat.
The various races of demi-humans, once thriving and vibrant, were on the verge of extinction, facing annihilation at the hands of the dominant human faction.
Desperate, the demi-human clans had pooled their millennia of prayers, sacrifices, karmic ties, and offerings, beseeching their goddess for a savior, a champion who could turn the tide and prevent their complete destruction.
The Goddess of Equivalent Exchange, true to her nature, was obligated to respond. She was, after all, bound by the cosmic law of balance, the principle of giving and receiving in equal measure.
But it seemed her affection for these particular devotees ran deep. Instead of sending aid that was merely equivalent to their offerings, she had decided to tip the scales.
She was sending someone…extraordinary.
Someone whose very presence could disrupt the delicate balance of the world, someone whose potential for destruction and change far outweighed the sum total of the demi-humans offerings.
Initially, the Goddess of Space hadn’t been overly concerned.
After all, it was just one person. And she had even planned to bestow upon this individual a series of divine blessings, abilities that would aid them in their mission to save the demi-humans.
But then, she had consulted with the Goddess of Prophecy, and what she had learned had filled her with trepidation.
The human she was sending was no ordinary mortal.
He was…different. He didn’t need blessings; he possessed a power within him that dwarfed any divine gifts she could bestow.
He was a walking paradox, a force of nature capable of both unimaginable destruction and miraculous creation.
It was as if she were introducing a plague that could wipe out an entire civilization or an eternal cure that could heal any ailment.
The fate of the world rested on the choices this individual would make.
And that was why she was worried. This new world, the one she was sending him to, was meant to be balanced, harmonious.
The introduction of such a chaotic element could disrupt that balance, could tip the scales towards either unimaginable prosperity or utter ruin.
She could only hope, with a desperate hope that gnawed at her usually calm demeanor, that this chosen one, this anomaly, was a good person.
Or at least a sane one.
Someone who would make rational decisions, someone who wouldn’t inadvertently destroy the very world he was meant to save.
But sadly, her hopes, fragile as they were, were almost immediately—and rather spectacularly, shattered.
The moment Luca stepped through the portal into her realm, the Goddess of Space knew her worst fears were coming to pass, and in a way that was far more…theatrical than she could have ever imagined.
Why?…Well, because didn’t just walk through the portal; he practically bounced, like an over-caffeinated rabbit hopping into a carrot patch.
And the sight that greeted her…well, it was less ’chosen one’ and more “undead extra from a zombie movie.”
Instead of the normal, healthy human she had envisioned, he looked like he’d lost a fight with a bonfire and the bonfire had won.
His body was a grotesque patchwork of burns and regenerating flesh, a testament to the fiery ordeal he had just endured.
He was, to put it mildly, a horrifying sight. Like something that crawled out of a grave…or perhaps a particularly nasty cooking accident.
And then, as if his appearance wasn’t shocking enough, once Luca saw her he suddenly jumped up and down, clapping his hands together like an excited child who’d just been promised a double scoop of ice cream the moment he entered.
“Let’s go!” He shouted, his voice echoing through the serene landscape, shattering the peaceful ambiance. “A goddess! A real, live goddess! Just like I thought! This is exactly what I wanted!”
“Finally! Some divine intervention! This is going to be awesome!”
The Goddess of Space stared at him, her lips twitching.
This…This was the savior her sister had sent?
This…creature?
He was practically radiating chaotic energy, which was her worst nightmare come true.
Source: Webnovel.com, updated by NovelKeep
Chapters
- Chapter 267: Impregnate Us!
- Chapter 266: A New Beginning
- Chapter 265: Peace In Death
- Chapter 264: Pooping Saved The Day?
- Chapter 263: Rot-Gut Flesh Burrowing Worm
- Chapter 262: Whistle Of Death
- Chapter 261: Cruel Grandfather
- Chapter 260: Restrictions Broken
- Chapter 259: Show Me The Evidence!
- Chapter 258: What Sort Of Person Was The Former Patriarch?
- Chapter 257: Collusion
- Chapter 256: Standing Before Death
- Chapter 255: A Mother’s Sorrow
- Chapter 254: Is Julius A Victim?
- Chapter 253: Forty Years Of Love And Affection
- Chapter 252: Puppet Matriarch
- Chapter 251: A Father’s Curse
- Chapter 250: When Everything Started To Fall Apart
- Chapter 249: The Truth Or Decapitation
- Chapter 248: The Truth Shall Set You Free
- Chapter 247: Arrow Of Challenge
- Chapter 246: He Violated My Butt!
- Chapter 245: I Need Poop!
- Chapter 244: Pieces Falling Into Place
- Chapter 243: I Beg You To Impregnate The Entire Village!
- Chapter 242: Conditions To Break One’s Virginity
- Chapter 241: Corpse Mattress
- Chapter 240: The Reward You Deserve
- Chapter 239: Are You Scared Of Me?
- Chapter 238: Torture Shed
- Chapter 237: You Screwed Up Big Time
- Chapter 236: A Horse With A Horn On It’s Head
- Chapter 235: Esme Needs Backup!
- Chapter 234: End Of The Line
- Chapter 233: Elven Chicken Feed
- Chapter 232: Phonebook Down A Throat
- Chapter 231: Can I Borrow Your Handsomeness?
- Chapter 230: Disgrace Of A Husband
- Chapter 229: I Want Revenge!
- Chapter 228: Let’s Share Experiences!
- Chapter 227: I Love Him More Then You Do!
- Chapter 226: Awkward Family Reunion
- Chapter 225: Flimsy Excuses
- Chapter 224: Unexpected Guest
- Chapter 223: Edging The Hero
- Chapter 222: Death By Booty
- Chapter 221: Not Wet Enough
- Chapter 220: My Daughter’s More Experienced Then Me?!
- Chapter 219: Well Well, How The Turntables
- Chapter 218: Punishment Or Love?
- Chapter 217: Why Are You Smiling?!
- Chapter 216: The Matriarch’s Seductive Figure
- Chapter 215: Taking Responsibility
- Chapter 214: I’ll Always Be Watching Over You
- Chapter 213: A Letter From Heaven
- Chapter 212: Letters Of Gratitude
- Chapter 211: Elf Ears = Charm+
- Chapter 210: Luca And Leona—Ear-Muff Making Machines!
- Chapter 209: I Can’t Live Without You
- Chapter 208: Elven Ear-Muffs
- Chapter 207: Run And Chase
- Chapter 206: The Tree Is Running Away!
- Chapter 205: One Kiss = One Step
- Chapter 204: Last Man Standing
- Chapter 203: A Tragic, But Romantic End
- Chapter 202: Bodybuilder Or Matriarch?
- Chapter 201: What Is This Strange Liquid?
- Chapter 200: Ravaging The Matriarch
- Chapter 199: I Deserve Compensation
- Chapter 198: Unfulfilled Wishes
- Chapter 197: Forty Years Of Hidden Kindness
- Chapter 196: Please Don’t Pull Out!
- Chapter 195: The Race Of Assassins
- Chapter 194: I’m Not A Stalker!
- Chapter 193: Hidden Love
- Chapter 192: The Secret Of The Spirit Of The Forest
- Chapter 191: Secret Helper
- Chapter 190: You’re The One Who Was Moaning Right?
- Chapter 189: Why Is My Mother So Innocent?!
- Chapter 188: The Search For The Lucky Elf
- Chapter 187: A Nest, A Bird, A Egg And A Cock
- Chapter 186: The Burden Of Responsibility
- Chapter 185: The Sacred Mark
- Chapter 184: Turn Me Into A Disgrace!
- Chapter 183: I Took Your Second Virginity?!
- Chapter 182: I Accept All Of You
- Chapter 181: Identical Twins, Identical Kitties
- Chapter 180: Bountiful Fruits
- Chapter 179: First Kiss
- Chapter 178: A Letter From The Goddess
- Chapter 177: Beheading One’s Little Brother
- Chapter 176: Have I Been Drugged?
- Chapter 175: I’ll Fight The Goddess For You!
- Chapter 174: Like Aunt, Like Niece
- Chapter 173: Unresolvable Hatred
- Chapter 172: Renewable And Non Renewable Disposal
- Chapter 171: A Taste Of Blood
- Chapter 170: Innocent Brothers
- Chapter 169: Shoot Me! Shoot Me Already!
- Chapter 168: End It All
- Chapter 167: Tell Us Your Secret!
- Chapter 166: Unfamiliar Feeling
- Chapter 165: Keep Petting Me!
- Chapter 164: Recoil = Jiggling Pudding
- Chapter 163: Cuter By The Second
- Chapter 162: Exposing Her True Self
- Chapter 161: Like Mother, Like Daughters
- Chapter 160: Unquenchable Curiosity
- Chapter 159: Gun Enthusiast Or Elf Matriarch?
- Chapter 158: Elf Shooting Range
- Chapter 157: An Assassin’s Favourite Gun
- Chapter 156: I’m Willing To Trade My Virginity For This Gun!
- Chapter 155: Justice? Heh, I Just Want Blood On My Hands
- Chapter 154: Agents Of Destruction
- Chapter 153: That’s Not War, That’s Genocide
- Chapter 152: Fight For Your Future
- Chapter 151: Looming Extinction
- Chapter 150: Demon Weapon
- Chapter 149: Elf Graffiti
- Chapter 148: The Weapon That Changed The World
- Chapter 147: GET DOWN ON THE GROUND!
- Chapter 146: I’ve Got Presents For You
- Chapter 145: The Unbreakable Bond Between A Mother And Daughter
- Chapter 144: Ugly Bow
- Chapter 143: Strength And Skill
- Chapter 142: Same Bow, Different Accuracy
- Chapter 141: My Sister Is Moaning?!
- Chapter 140: Unfortunate Accident
- Chapter 139: Lethal Richochet
- Chapter 138: Overwhelming Trust
- Chapter 137: Impossible Shot
- Chapter 136: Success = Brutal Death
- Chapter 135: Let’s Increase The Stakes
- Chapter 134: Are You Angry I Got Him First?
- Chapter 133: Shameless Showcase Of Superiority
- Chapter 132: Smack That Ass!
- Chapter 131: Are You Trying To Assassinate Me?
- Chapter 130: Up-And-Down Bobbing Blanket
- Chapter 129: Butt Homing Arrows
- Chapter 128: Your Seed Has Protein Right?
- Chapter 127: My Hidden Flower Is Only For You
- Chapter 126: You Got To Push It Out
- Chapter 125: What?! I’ve Got A Chicken Bone In My Butt?!
- Chapter 124: Big Booty Problems
- Chapter 123: Cock Cosplay
- Chapter 122: Best Wingwomen Ever
- Chapter 121: Feed Us As Well!
- Chapter 120: I Want Your Juicy Meat In My Mouth!
- Chapter 119: Fried Chicken With A Side Of Shit
- Chapter 118: Chipmunk Village
- Chapter 117: Kindness That Carries Over A Thousand Years
- Chapter 116: Dream Fulfilled
- Chapter 115: I Feel Like A Chicken
- Chapter 114: Massive Gamble
- Chapter 113: You Massacred My Babies!
- Chapter 112: Chicken Is Life!
- Chapter 111: Why Does This Taste So Good?!
- Chapter 110: Miraculous Fried Chicken
- Chapter 109: Five-Hundred Year Old Elf
- Chapter 108: Let The Food Speak For Itself
- Chapter 107: What Is That Delicious Smell?!
- Chapter 106: The Spirit Of The Forest
- Chapter 105: Cocks Feel Like Cocks
- Chapter 104: Finger Licking Good
- Chapter 103: She’s A Bit Of A Sadist
- Chapter 102: Lulu, Queen Of All Chickens
- Chapter 101: ANYTHING BUT THE CHICKENS!
- Chapter 100: Hardcore Vegetarians
- Chapter 99: I’ve Been Eating My Veggies!
- Chapter 98: Moonlight Mastrubator
- Chapter 97: Match Made In Heaven
- Chapter 96: The One Pulling The Strings
- Chapter 95: You’re Making It Really Hard For Me To Not Fall For You
- Chapter 94: A Whore. A Succubus. A Bitch.
- Chapter 93: Share You’re Gift With All The Women Of This World
- Chapter 92: Thank You, Godesses Above
- Chapter 91: Find My Secret Garden
- Chapter 90: Too Big Too Handle
- Chapter 89: Three Inches On A Good Day
- Chapter 88: Man Of Principles
- Chapter 87: A Dangerous Man
- Chapter 86: Betrayal And Affairs
- Chapter 85: Why Does Washing Dishes Look So Sexy?
- Chapter 84: I’ll Break The Shackles That Bind You
- Chapter 83: Do What Your Heart Desires
- Chapter 82: All Hope Is Lost
- Chapter 81: Grant Me One Wish
- Chapter 80: Banishment Of The Hero
- Chapter 79: I’d Rather Die, Then Be A Slave
- Chapter 78: He’s One Of Us
- Chapter 77: Pampered In Kisses
- Chapter 76: The Arm Of A Junkie
- Chapter 75: Hope Reignited
- Chapter 74: My Little Katawa
- Chapter 73: Want To Go On A Date?
- Chapter 72: Smartest Person In The Room
- Chapter 71: Hide Like The Rats You Are
- Chapter 70: I Read It In A Book!
- Chapter 69: Deep-throating A Book
- Chapter 68: Taste Test
- Chapter 67: Let Me At Him!
- Chapter 66 - 50% Chance Of Recovery
- Chapter 65: Look How Ugly She Is!
- Chapter 64: Eclisar’s Truce
- Chapter 63: Abyssmal Lands
- Chapter 62: Unusual Symptoms
- Chapter 61: Hidden Chains
- Chapter 60: Who Cares? We Can Make More
- Chapter 59: Children Of Evil
- Chapter 58: I’ve Got The Reciepts
- Chapter 57: I Can’t Hold Back My Strength
- Chapter 56: The Weight Of One’s Life
- Chapter 55: I Respect You
- Chapter 54: Smiling Snake
- Chapter 53: Praise And Condemnation
- Chapter 52: You’re A Baby Compared To Me!
- Chapter 51: Obedient Wife
- Chapter 50: Half-Sisters By Blood, True Sisters By Heart
- Chapter 49: Messy Family Drama
- Chapter 48: He’s My Father
- Chapter 47: Do The Thing! Do The Thing!
- Chapter 46: Lumber Jack Elves
- Chapter 45: Calamity In Human Form
- Chapter 44: Rite Of Returning Roots
- Chapter 43: Seduce A Few And Get The Entire Village For Free
- Chapter 42: Can I Go Back Home?
- Chapter 41: Father Of The Nation
- Chapter 40: Let The Kids Grow Up
- Chapter 39: More Heroes?!
- Chapter 38: Genocide Is Good
- Chapter 37: Impress Me, Hero
- Chapter 36: Animal Exhibit
- Chapter 35: A Spark Of Hope
- Chapter 34: Naughty Dreams
- Chapter 33: Trust Me! I Stopped A War Single Handedly!
- Chapter 32: The Hero Is A Human?!
- Chapter 31: She Passed On With A Smile
- Chapter 30: What Did You Do To My Mother?!
- Chapter 29: Cold-Hearted Mother
- Chapter 28: Light And Darkness
- Chapter 27: Welcome To The Elf Village!
- Chapter 26: I’m Not Building A Fertility Clinic!
- Chapter 25: Their Little Soldiers Are On Retreat
- Chapter 24: They Betrayed You?!
- Chapter 23: Regression To Primitive Times
- Chapter 22: Elven Princesses
- Chapter 21: I Trust You...A Little Bit
- Chapter 20: Humans May Not Be So Bad After All
- Chapter 19: Humans Are Stupid!
- Chapter 18: Hold Me Hostage
- Chapter 17: Strategic Retreat
- Chapter 16: He Doesn’t Have Pointy Ears!
- Chapter 15: Guardians Of The Temple?
- Chapter 14: First Stop...Elf Village
- Chapter 13: So Many Bloody Heads
- Chapter 12: Open Sesame
- Chapter 11: The Forsaken One, Bound by No Grave
- Chapter 10: Have We Summoned A Demon?!
- Chapter 9: Trust Me
- Chapter 8: Coddled To Oblivion
- Chapter 7: The Undead Speaks
- Chapter 6: Two Continents
- Chapter 5: Crispy Creature
- Chapter 4: It Burns!!!
- Chapter 3: Grotesque Abomination
- Chapter 2: Suicidal Charge
- Chapter 1: I Don’t Like The Taste Of Burnt Bread