Chapter 12: The worries of an anxious Field Guide

Kellen got more bloodwork done, which wasn’t surprising. What was surprising, apparently, was how well Rhys sat to get his own done. On the front lines no one dared to mention how Rhys was when it came to anything related to needles, but in his own Guild?

Everyone, even the smallest members knew little things about Rhys. Like how he was terrible at getting his blood drawn or taking shots. It was new information that wasn’t written down in any magazine that Kellen had read, nor had it come up prior to this.

Rhys even got a little lollipop from a drawer after he’d sat to get his bloodwork done. Kellen did not.

This felt like bias at one point, and when Kellen pointed it out, the team had laughed. They had obviously offered him a lollipop after but explained that it worked the best on Espers, especially higher Class ones, if they had a fear of needles.

Kellen thought that was bullshit, and told Rhys to his face that it was. Kellen had to go through so much shit, and he couldn’t handle a needle? Rhys was smiling as Kellen threw a fit, but he did softly explain to Kellen that it was related to his powers.

Kellen begrudgingly admitted that maybe it was okay, but just for Rhys, and the team were all smiles as they watched their dynamic. Kellen didn’t know why, but he was glad that after all the stress that they were still going through they were able to smile.

After that, Rhys called Casper and confirmed on speaker that there wasn’t anything else Rhys could help him with at the moment. Casper told him firmly that his main job was to be comfort for Kellen while he healed.

Kellen’s Dad echoed his opinion.

Kellen’s face burned while Rhys nodded seriously, telling Casper that he would be available for the rest of the day if he needed to message him, but he would now be upstairs with his pair. Kellen’s stomach twisted in a good way when he heard those words.

Rhys was making sure that Kellen knew, no matter what, that he was on his side and that he cared for him. It was a nice gesture. He knew that Rhys had always been like this, but given what he’d experienced in the gate, it was nice to have more comfort from him.

Kellen was the one who wove their fingers together as they held hands, even leaning into the other man. Rhys was all smiles, his eyes bright with happiness as the two moved through the Guild.

Kellen tried not to take the horrified looks of the people who hadn’t seen him in person yet to heart. He knew he looked rough, and he was the only one up and moving. He was sure terrible rumours were going to spread about the others, and that worried Kellen a bit.

He didn’t want his people to hear that about themselves. For the most part, they all looked liked sleeping angels. It was only Kellen who looked rough because he was up and moving.

Those who had seen him already made sure to make eye contact with him and check up on him. They wouldn’t halt them for long, but just ask Kellen how he was feeling, if he slept well. Just basic, but simple signs that showed that they cared.

Kellen was a little surprised that when they passed the gym that they didn’t see Hill inside. He had expected her to be teaching the remaining new recruits, but that wasn’t the case. Kellen asked about it when they were going up in the elevator, almost at their apartment.

“Ah. Hill will be busy in a full Esper capacity for a while, so she won’t be able to teach for the moment. A few of the higher level Espers who I trust will be taking that over. We have a few things that we need to do that have more of a priority than training people.” Rhys’ words made sense, and Kellen agreed with him.

“Ah. Understood. I just didn’t see any of the new recruits in the gym, so I was curious.” Kellen said and Rhys chuckled. He smiled down at the injured man.

“They were scheduled for the obstacle room today. Something easy for newer teachers to be in charge of. Basically a field trip. They’ll be back to their regular grueling schedule soon.” Rhys promised and Kellen nodded.

Kellen felt his body stiffen suddenly and Rhys jerked.

“What? What’s wrong?” Rhys asked as the doors to their apartment floor opened. Kellen let out a shaky breath.

“The Field Guides.” Kellen whispered, and Rhys’ shoulders relaxed.

“You can’t scare me like that, Kellen! Stiffening like that is a sign that something could be going wrong in your body. I was worried.” Rhys scolded while gently tugging him out of the elevator. Kellen felt his cheeks warm in embarrassment again. He was really not behaving like himself right now. Everything felt a little too raw.

“I apologise. I was just filled with worry suddenly. Is someone else taking care of them? I really just left them all alone without any plan. I’m a terrible instructor.” Kellen muttered and Rhys made an annoyed noise in his throat. He tugged Kellen towards him, forcing Kellen to meet his gaze with his own. Rhys was glaring at him, clearly not happy that Kellen had spoken down about himself.

“You are not a terrible instructor. They knew that you had to leave their side to go save others. You did exactly what you were training them to do. I am sure that while they are nervous and anxious, they are probably more happy that you are alive and you were able to save others.” Rhys told him firmly and Kellen knew that he was right. He knew that was the logical answer, but he wasn’t feeling exactly logical at the moment.

His mind was racing, filled with the poor souls that had lost their lives in the gate. Bright students who had done their best and it wasn’t enough in an impossible situation. Kellen closed his eye, sighing heavily as he squeezed Rhys’ hand.

“What if they’re angry at me for failing to get everyone out? They’re new to this.” Kellen whispered softly and Rhys let out a groan.

“Sugar, stop. Don’t think that way. If you do, you’ll never get out of that cycle. You have to trust that while they didn’t expect it to happen this way, they all signed up for this. They knew how dangerous being inside of a gate was, being a Field Guide. You beating everyone up was a pretty good sign of that, don’t you think?” He was making a joke, but Kellen’s emotions were like waves inside of him.

They were trying to drag him down under the water. Tossing him around like a ragdoll in their strength.

“Some of them wanted to be teachers, not true Field Guides. Even Bree…” Kellen trailed off with a sigh, shaking his head. “I just don’t know if I can face them with what feels like no results. Everyone else is unconscious, I don’t have Brent. I know I did a big thing, a very dangerous big thing,” Kellen added as he felt Rhys’s anger flare next to him, “but for the Field Guides? It doesn’t feel like it means much.” If they had had more training, maybe, but with their current levels?

Rhys dropped Kellen’s hand, reaching up and gripping Kellen’s face in his hands. He squished Kellen’s cheeks, forcing the man to look up and meet his gaze. Rhys looked angry, but he didn’t look unreasonable. Just…frustrated.

“They are Field Guides that you trained, Kellen. They’re your students. Why are you doubting them so much? I bet that they have been chomping at the bit to be able to see you but Casper or someone else has been telling them no. Do you want me to check with Casper and see if that’s the case?” Rhys asked and Kellen suddenly felt nervous.

What if he did that and found out that no one had wanted to see him? What if they hadn’t cared?

Why did Kellen sound so damn whiney to his own ears?

Kellen looked away from Rhys’ gaze, staring at the man’s shoulder instead of the eyes that were boring holes into his face.

“What if…no one comes?” Kellen whispered softly and Rhys sighed. He pulled Kellen against him, wrapping his arms around the injured man.

“You are being ridiculous. Of course they are going to come to see you. Who wouldn’t? You’re cute and competent and you just did something incredible. Of course they are going to come and probe you for answers. I know what you are like. I bet they are going to have a laundry list of questions. They’ll probably ask you about what the new gate is like too.” Rhys told him. Kellen listened to him speak, feeling his chest rumble with his words as he did so.

Kellen squeezed him tightly with his one arm.

“I know I don’t sound like myself right now. Thank you for putting up with me.” Kellen told him and Rhys groaned again.

“Stop it. You’re too cute for my heart to handle and I just had to get bloodwork because you touched me. I am trying to be good, Kellen.” Rhys warned and Kellen opened and closed his mouth.

He swallowed thickly as an idea crossed his mind.

“Uh, Taylor only said that we weren’t allowed to touch each other.” Kellen started and Rhys sighed.

“Yes. So I can’t pounce on you the way that I want to.” Rhys told him, almost sounding like he was scolding Kellen for having the thoughts that he was having. Kellen nuzzled against Rhys’ shoulder.

“Yes, but…I have lots of toys.” Kellen whispered and felt the man stiffen. Kellen didn’t even feel him breathe for a moment and was about to worry when Rhys let out a harsh sound.

“No.” Rhys told him firmly and Kellen began to protest.

“But Rhys-”

“No, Kellen. You are not healed enough for that to be considered.” Kellen hated that he’d said it and that he was right. Couldn’t he just…bend for him for a little bit? Kellen wanted to have his hands all over the man, taste him, feel how alive he was. Why was Rhys being such a stick in the mud?

That was Kellen’s job!

“Why are you now being a stickler for rules?” Kellen complained and felt Rhys give a harsh laugh. His arms were around Kellen’s back, the two of them having not moved from their spot in the middle of the hallway.

“One of us has to be, and it’s clearly not going to be you right now. Trust me, I’m going to be having terribly, nasty dreams every night until Green gives us the a-okay. We just got scolded, Kellen. Do you want to get scolded again so soon? What if we disturb your body while it’s healing? A moment of temporary pleasure is not worth putting your body at risk. If you were thinking normally, you would agree with me.” Kellen pouted.

He hated that the man was right and that he couldn’t argue with him. He let out a sigh.

“Then just get me some food.” Kellen mumbled darkly and Rhys chuckled. He tilted Kellen’s head back so that he could press a kiss against his forehead.

“Of course, my love.”

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