Chapter 153: A Captain’s regret, with the Captain

Rhys watched Taylor and Kellen leave as he stood in front of Gunther, coming to support his friend as he went through it. Rhys couldn’t even blame him. If Kellen slipped the same way that Casper was doing right now?

Rhys would need Gunther’s support, too.

The door clicked behind them and Gunther sighed. It sounded like a piece of his soul was leaving with the sound, his hands going to cover his face as he hunched over on the edge of the bed.

He looked even worse than yesterday, and he’d drank himself silly yesterday. Had even cried. Crying didn’t feel right to say.

The man had wept over what he was witnessing, and what he knew was coming. Now, now he had to see it all happen, witnessed it himself, and Gunther looked like he wanted to weep again.

“Is this the right thing to do?” Gunther asked and Rhys frowned. He glanced around, not wanting to sit next to him on the bed. Even if they were best friends, Kellen wasn’t exactly sane at the moment. He didn’t want him to even think for a second he was cheating on him.

Rhys waved a hand and pulled a chair closer to him, then picked it up and brought it over until he was sitting face to face with Gunther. He wasn’t sure that was a better position, but this was the best he could offer at the moment.

“Gunther,” Rhys began as he sat down, “the other option was firing him.” Gunther flinched at that. Gunther opened his mouth, wanting to complain, protest, then closed his mouth.

Rhys knew that Gunther knew he was right. They were giving him a lot of leniency. Trying to repair him instead of washing their hands of him? That told Gunther how much they cared about Casper. Honestly, there was never a point in time that Rhys would fire Casper. Not outright.

He had been too integral to the forming of his Guild, been too important to everything. There was also a part of him that thought he had failed Casper the same way he had failed Gunther. It was only now, that he had a clearer mind, that he could see it.

Rhys had been twisting in the last few years. His obsession with Kellen had been getting stronger, consuming him. He hadn’t dropped doing his basic duties, the Guild had functioned, but thoughts of Kellen had consumed a lot of his life. A lot of his time.

Rhys had not been putting in the work to make sure his people, higher up and lower down, were okay. No pulse checks, nothing. He had let them function as they were, and now he was dealing with the consequences.

It wasn’t as if Casper and Gunther had always been the most mentally stable. That had never been their truth, but Rhys had relied on them to keep themselves in check, like Hill, Taylor, Pamela and Miro. He hadn’t given them the support that they had relied on him to give, and the moment everything got stressful, both cracked.

Along with the people that also needed support from him lower down in the Guild. It was great that Kellen was here, he would never, ever regret that, it just made him realise where he had been lacking.

Cause Kellen? He would not let something like this stand, especially after he had declared that the Guild wasn’t just Rhys’ anymore, but his as well. He was going to poke and prod at the hard parts that Rhys either didn’t notice or had forgotten about, and then he would fix it.

Like how he was taking control of what was going on with Casper, Gunther, and by extension, the Guides.

“Fuck.” Gunther finally whispered and Rhys reached out, squeezing his knee.

“You know we would never do that.” Rhys told him seriously. “We know that he just needs help, even if he’s fighting it. We did the same to you as we’ll do to him.” Rhys affirmed, and Gunther glanced up at him through his hands, meeting Rhys’ serious, sincere yellow gaze before he dropped his gaze.

Gunther looked tired. Exhausted, and he knew that it wasn’t just because he was hung over.

“I feel so fucking bad about this, Rhys. I’m supposed…I was supposed to be his partner. His pair. How the fuck did this get so complicated and fucked up?” Gunther asked and Rhys wasn’t sure he had an answer for him that would be satisfying.

“Gunther…we’re all responsible for dropping the ball, but honestly? You hold the least accountability for this. You weren’t fucking here when he started slipping. It was me.” Rhys told him softly. Gunther let out a shuddering breath.

“Right.” He muttered.

“I let Casper down by not being someone he could trust, rely on, especially with his issues. He should not have been carrying it all on his own, and now I owe him the time, space and dedication that comes with healing. We’ll wait and see how he handles it, Gunther, but please, don’t blame yourself. I failed you both, and now I have to put the pieces back.” Rhys swallowed. “I’m just sorry that Kellen is also going through something and I can’t focus my attention solely on you. I’m sorry, Gunther.”

Gunther’s head jerked up at Rhys’ apology, his expression contorting slightly as he heard the man speak.

“No, Rhys, don’t apologise. Please. I can’t handle that as well right now.” Gunther whispered and Rhys frowned, swallowing past the lump of emotion that was threatening to overwhelm him.

“I’m sorry, Gunther. You deserved so much more than what I am giving you, what I have done for you. You’ve kept me sane when you really didn’t have to. I know that. Now that I have Kellen and I’ve achieved what I wanted and have time to look back on who I was? I was a terrible friend to you, to Hill, to Casper. I’m just lucky that Hill isn’t also collapsing in on herself right now.” Rhys told him and watched as Gunther’s face contorted with pain and tears began to fall.

“You fuck. I told you to stop.” Gunther breathed, his shoulders shaking with the weight of his tears. Rhys couldn’t sit and watch his friend cry two days in a row and remain unaffected. He cried as well.

“I’m not sorry about making you cry. You’ve been keeping it in too damn long.” Rhys warned. “We haven’t even talked about the nightmare you went through. We’ve been focusing on Casper because he’s been making us all worried for a while, but I won’t let you slip through the cracks, Gunther. Never again.” Rhys squeezed his friend’s knee to a bruising point, and Gunther dropped his hand. It trembled, but it covered Rhys’ hand, squeezing it back.

Rhys turned over his hand and Gunther grasped it. The last time they had held hands like this was as they watched the gate that had consumed everything they had ever known close and the Espers who had done it ran around. They had been placed ’somewhere safe’ since they had both refused to go directly to the D.E.C. offices. They had needed to watch the gate close, look at the remnants of the lives they had known, and process it.

Who was going to manhandle two newly awakened Espers? Especially when one was obviously powerful, and the other had one fully, monstrous black eye and the other was slowly being consumed by their powers as well? There was a reason that they had continued to test Rhys as he had grown up.

They had wanted to see if he would crack, and then after that, they had given him the broken Espers because he was able to handle them. Now, Rhys had to deal with the broken Espers that he had let break once more.

“It was nothing I haven’t gone through before.” Gunther said, trying to downplay it. Rhys would have growled at the man if he wasn’t in the middle of crying himself.

“You’re a fucking liar.” Rhys told him. Gunther sniffed.

“I’m not. Breaking my arm as a form of torture is nothing these days. She wasn’t even as mean as my parents were.” Gunther told him, giving Rhys a watery smile. Rhys wanted to kick himself as he felt his own lips curl up at the reminder.

Gunther’s parents had been particularly bad when it came to brainwashing him. That was just a truth that Rhys had always known, the same way that Gunther knew that Rhys’ parents were neglectful and extremely physically violent. Gunther’s just had a bit of spice to his family living situation.

“What? Did she tell you we didn’t care about you and had abandoned you?” Rhys asked and Gunther snorted.

“And that I would never find anyone worthwhile. No Guide was worth it. No one was worth it. I could join their cause and my life could have meaning. Classic stuff.” Gunther gave a wet laugh. “She was also pissed that I dared to care about anyone. Especially Guides. I just pointed out that they were also people, like we were. We weren’t monsters, and she seemed to disagree. Makes sense, since the sick fuck could summon them.” It was something that Rhys had suspected, and something that some of the more brave Guides had whispered to the Espers that they trusted.

The blond bitch who had been in charge could summon monsters. Another new power that wasn’t known to the public, nor to most of the other Espers that Rhys spoke to. It was spoken about in hushed tones, since they were also at a point where no one knew who they could trust.

Of course, Sakura, Sergei and Lieutenant Fisher were included in the short list of people that Rhys could trust, but it begged the question. Was the monster surge orchestrated by the E.A.G. so that they could plan something else? What in the world had they planned?

It made Rhys consider something terrible, horrible actually.

What if the gate sucking in people hadn’t been an accident or coincidence as well?

It was a sickening thought, one that Rhys didn’t like thinking about. Especially because that would mean there was an Esper out there who had, at minimum, control over the gates. Or there was a monster out there that the E.A.G. had control over that could do the same thing.

It would shake the world if that came out, but Rhys already knew that the standards that they were living by, that they had gotten comfortable with, were already changing. Had been changing for a while, but the rest of the world hadn’t adapted enough to care.

Think of the people like Carlos, who had powers that were complicated and could be used for evil. That came with side effects or conditions that needed to be met with care and consideration. There was even Rhys to consider.

How many people had he hurt because guiding had been hard for him until Kellen came into his life? He was only kept because he was an S Class and he was ’worth’ the effort.

How many other Espers had slipped through the cracks and into the E.A.G.s willing arms? That was now something that Rhys had to grapple with, and confront the others over. Rhys was going to have to call a meeting when he went overseas.

He was going to have to look everyone in the eye and ask them if they knew, and if they did, why had they done nothing?

Lieutenant Fisher had heard Rhys’ concerns and was already changing some of the practises that the Center did, especially after how Kellen had been treated and how he had changed Classes the way that he had.

Rhys did not want to let anyone else slip through the cracks because he wasn’t paying attention. This was his city, their city, and it was his duty to protect it.

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