Chapter 165: People cry out for help in different ways

The lecture lasted 20 full minutes. He swore that Taylor was ready to pull out diagrams, and when she saw the few boxes of condoms remaining, and what was left inside of them, she threw them at the Captain and lectured him more.

He was getting the brunt of it because Kellen was newly S Class, had less control, and didn’t know well enough. Rhys did, and while Kellen appreciated her concern, she was taking it a bit far.

Kellen understood that Rhys probably held more of a responsibility, but it wasn’t like he was alone in the act. Kellen was there right along with him, Rhys just had the ability to reset himself. Kellen was sure that if he had left his body alone, he would be feeling about as beat up as Kellen was.

He hoped, at least.

So Kellen was of the opinion that he should be getting yelled at as much as Rhys was, he was just also afraid to voice that thought. Mainly because, as time went on and the minutes ticked by, Kellen realised that this wasn’t just about them sleeping together probably more than they should have. Something else was going on.

It was becoming clear that this wasn’t just about what was going on between Kellen and Rhys, but that she also was here for other purposes. Work purposes. She looked grim, her pony tail pulled tight to her head, her eyes quiet in a way that did not spell anything good.

The last time he had seen this, it had been in relation to Gunther when things had gone bad the first time. When she had a stillness and a seriousness about her that had made Kellen worry about everyone’s safety and health.

It wasn’t a hard leap to realise who she was so tense about.

So far she had been standing, wiggling a finger in Rhys’ face while she had a hand on her hip. Kellen was sitting up, Rhys having brought over some clothes for him to pull on once Taylor had taken care of some of the pain in his body.

Taylor had been nice enough to turn around to give Kellen some privacy, but Kellen saw the hesitation in her. Not because she wanted to check him out, but more that she moved as if she was going to help him. Her caring nature making it hard to let him do it on his own.

When she had turned around again after Kellen had pulled on some sweats and was sitting up in the bed instead of lying down, that was when Kellen’s urges couldn’t be ignored anymore. He couldn’t let her continue lecturing Rhys when he could tell that this wasn’t just about them.

This wasn’t him being a busybody, this was him trying to care for his friend.

Kellen was now more or less healed from their night. Some of the pain remained, but it was more of a dull ache that Taylor left to remind him not to overexert himself and that he wasn’t a god. Kellen appreciated the reminder.

Normally, Kellen would know that. However, S Class Kellen? It appeared he was a little lacking in the knowledge, and Kellen could admit that after thinking he could go as hard as he had with Rhys the prior night.

“How is Casper?” Kellen asked when she was taking a break in her rant to catch her breath.

Taylor froze, gulped, and then sat down heavily on the edge of the bed. She looked…devastated. The shell that she had been hiding behind shattered and Kellen worried about what he had missed out on by sleeping. The world didn’t rest just because he did.

“What happened?” Kellen asked, shifting closer, wanting to offer support for his friend. Then, Taylor started crying and all hell broke loose.

“He’s been self harming.” She told them, and Kellen and Rhys sat there, frozen. Rhys was standing before Kellen and Taylor, his hands frozen at his sides, while Kellen felt his eyes widen in surprise. Casper? Self harming? It seemed so…out of character for him.

Kellen would have never pegged him as the kind of man that would do something like this. Then again, maybe he didn’t know the man well enough at all. Kellen felt his face go pale.

“What?” Kellen felt the question leave his lips and still couldn’t believe it. Taylor pressed her hands against her face and sobbed. She was nodding into her hands.

“He wouldn’t show me, and refused to let me come near. It was Pamela who told me. I haven’t forced the issue, but she said it looked fresh. Also asked me to keep my distance for a bit. Let him heal mentally first, then I could come in.” Taylor was shaking. “I-I don’t know what to do. I’ve been in talks with therapists all day, trying to find the right answer.” Kellen heard movement from Rhys, and then nearly jumped up when he realised that Rhys had stumbled.

Taylor did the same, both of them grabbing Rhys even as he protested and placing him on the bed.

“Are you okay?” Kellen asked, staring at the shocked, hollow expression on Rhys’ face. The man looked stunned, truly shocked. It was like the wind had been knocked out of him upon hearing that Casper was self harming. Kellen didn’t think he’d acted with this much shock when he’d heard anything about Gunther, even that he was missing. Kellen wondered if that was because he had faith in Gunther, that he was capable of getting himself out of tough situations.

Rhys, nor Kellen, had that kind of faith in Casper right now, which was probably why this information was hitting hard.

“Why would, what? How?” Rhys seemed to have broken on some level, and Kellen couldn’t even figure out how to fix him. Taylor looked incredibly sympathetic to his breakdown, probably because she had just gotten herself out of it.

“I don’t know.” Taylor said softly. “Pamela was in great distress when she came to me too. I ordered shots.” Taylor admitted. Rhys nodded, as if that was the right decision right now too. Kellen didn’t even know if they had hard liquor in the apartment.

“Um, does…Gunther know?” Kellen asked, the question burning in his mind as soon as he found out. Taylor looked alarmed at the question, shaking her head vigorously while Rhys looked even more pained.

“He can’t find out.” Rhys told him, and Taylor nodded in agreement. Kellen, however, thought that was kind of a strange response.

“Why?” Kellen asked. “Why not tell him? We’ve put them together on the same floor to help Casper. And Gunther. Why should we keep something like this from Gunther when he should know to help protect him. Yes, it could upset him, as it’s upsetting all of us, but it’s not smart to keep this from him.” Kellen swallowed. “What if the worst happened? What if we didn’t tell Gunther to look out for bad signs and then the worst happened? And he didn’t know?” Kellen asked.

It was a hard question, with no easy answer because Kellen didn’t want to think that the worst could happen. Kellen had no idea why people self harmed, he’d never done it himself, but he did know that no one did that easily. Kellen viewed the alcoholism that some of his fellow Field Guides had as a form of abuse of themselves, of self harm, but he’d never belittled them for it.

They had gone through a lot, and needed a way to cope. However, he didn’t know how Casper had self harmed, or why Taylor was so scared, but he did know that keeping it from the people closest to him would only harm him in the long run. It was also harm Gunther.

“Kellen, I just don’t think Gunther is stable enough for it.” Rhys said carefully and Kellen levelled the man with a serious look.

“The same way I’m not stable enough to know that I’ve jumped Classes again?” Kellen asked and Rhys flinched like Kellen had hit him. “I understand that you’re concerned for us, I get it, I just don’t think keeping everything from everyone is a smart idea either. I understand that some things should be kept from others, but this? No. There is a reason why Pamela went to Taylor early, to warn her now was not the time. Being prepared for situations isn’t a bad thing, and wouldn’t you rather Gunther find out in a controlled environment instead of when he grabs Casper and something goes wrong?” Kellen asked, pushing.

Taylor remained silent, dropping her head. Kellen could tell she was still emotional, tears still hitting her lap as she sat beside Rhys, on the other side, holding him up as they all sat on the edge of the bed.

“He’s going to shatter.” Rhys whispered and Kellen frowned.

“Then be there to catch him. You can’t protect us by keeping things from us, Rhys, and frankly, I won’t let you. I trust the people you’ve selected, even if outside circumstances are making things not great right now. You need to show that you trust and care for them too. Plus, it’s not fair to Taylor to shoulder all of this by herself. She needs us to help her, support her, and keep her on her toes. If she goes down, we’re fucked.” Kellen said and Taylor gave a soft gasp.

“You swore, Kellen.” Taylor remarked, before jerking. “Wait, now is not the time to comment on that.” She muttered, embarrassed and Kellen laughed.

“I’ve been finding myself swearing a little more than I used to.” Kellen told her, breaking some of the tension that had filled the room. They also gave Rhys some time to process what Kellen was prodding him to do.

What Kellen was telling him he had to do.

Then, Taylor’s phone vibrated, and when she pulled it out, she frowned down at the phone.

“Shit. I’ve got to go. I have another meeting, plus a bunch of stuff I need to do with the new Guides, and also prep I need to get ready for the funeral. That’s still on time, right?” Taylor asked and Rhys gave a slow nod of confirmation.

“Yes, it is.” He agreed, looking very grim. No one called him out on it.

“Okay. Well, I’m going to leave then. Take the night off, don’t do anything, especially since we need to do your test tomorrow.” Taylor reminded Kellen. Kellen nodded in agreement, having forgot that he had his retest so soon. A small sweat broke out along his spine, but he wasn’t going to let it control him for long.

“You’re in charge of the retest?” Kellen asked and Taylor nodded, then winced.

“Along with one person from the D.E.C., but Lieutenant Fisher is sending them over, so you know that they are good.” Taylor told him. Kellen made a face. He trusted the man, but he wasn’t sure if that could be true. The Center was…the Center, after all.

Taylor saw his expression and chuckled. She wiped her eyes, trying to brush away her tears, but her red eyes were a dead give away that she had been crying. Kellen hoped she didn’t run into too many people when she left.

Otherwise, they might ask why she was crying. He especially hoped she didn’t run into Hill. For Hill’s sanity more than anything else. She knew better than to interfere with the working woman, but she would be panicking and worrying about it all day otherwise.

Kellen glanced at Rhys, his shocked expression, and decided that he would see Taylor out. Give Rhys more time to process what was going on.

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