Ch110- Damn You Lucius!
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- Harry Potter and the Surprisingly Competent History of Magic Professor
- Ch110- Damn You Lucius!
Cassian and Bathsheda made it something of a sport to bully the diary whenever the chance arose. “Daisy” managed to coax the name of its creator out of it, some chap calling himself Tom Marvolo Riddle. Cassian checked the archives for anything remotely close. Nothing. He considered asking Binns, but the ghost was still sulking about Cassian swiping his History post and refused to answer more than a single-word grunt if cornered.
They also realized how the Diary recognized who was writing, by brushing against the surface of the writer’s mind, a passive, near-invisible nudge that skimmed emotional tone, magical intent, and the “feel” of thought without breaching memories. It was clever, like a snake tasting the air, subtle enough to go unnoticed, but enough to distinguish one mind from another. That was how it knew when Cassian wrote, and why it reset when Bathsheda took the quill. It wasn’t reading thoughts, it was reading presence.
So, when Daisy finally got what she wanted, she announced with sugary cheer that the diary “smelled like a bog” and “tossed it into the bin.” Two days later, “Greg” picked it up. The diary got another round of abuse in a completely different tone… Greg favoured blunt questions and threats, treating it like a nosy neighbour caught peering through the curtains.
After Greg had had his fill, Elanor came next. She made a game of stringing the thing along, asking leading questions in her neat scrawl until it nearly tripped over its own answers.
All in all, it was far more entertaining than it had any right to be.
One evening, Cassian sat cross-legged on the floor. “Do you reckon it knows we’re passing it around like a pub quiz sheet?”
Bathsheda smirked faintly from where she was sprawled on the sofa, book in hand. “Oh, it guesses. You can see it getting snippier every time we change names. Poor thing hasn’t caught a single break.”
“Serves it right.” Cassian leaned forward, flicking the page. “Let’s see how it copes with Nero’s handwriting. It looks like he’s trying to strangle the quill.”
“You are one to talk.” Bathsheda’s eyes didn’t lift from her book. “Your S’s curl like they’ve been hexed.”
Cassian grinned. “My penmanship is perfect. This is artistic flair.”
The diary shuddered faintly under his fingers, ‘Do you dream?’
Bathsheda lowered her book and arched a brow. “That is unsettling.”
Cassian hummed, tapping the diary cover with two fingers. “Bit desperate too. Poor thing is trying to sound profound.”
“Or lonely.”
“Parasites don’t get lonely,” Cassian muttered, straightening. “They get hungry.”
They left it at that, throwing the diary at some corner, letting the diary’s words hang there for the night.
Their nerves about the diary eased, turning into a running tally, who could needle it worst. Testing its patience, seeing how often it’d bite. One week, they even forgot it entirely, leaving the thing perched in Cassian’s loo while they were buried in lesson plans and staff meetings. Cassian had nearly laughed himself sick imagining it sitting there, quietly seething, or maybe not. Could it even sense its surroundings? He didn’t know, and that made it funnier.
In the third weekend since Neville got his new wand, and, miraculously, could now manage most first-year spells without setting himself on fire, Cassian was lounging at the Gryffindor table. George Weasley was sprawled on his right, elbows planted on the table in blatant defiance of every bit of etiquette his mother had probably drilled into him. Across the bench, Bathsheda was picking at her toast with the air of someone actively ignoring the chaos around her.
For reasons known only to her, Luna Lovegood had plopped herself down next to him, humming softly. Hermione, seated a little further down, kept glancing between them, her lips pressed thin. She clearly wasn’t thrilled about sharing her professor’s attention with someone who believed in Crumple-Horned Snorkacks and was not a Gryffindor.
Percy Weasley hovered behind Fred, his lips pursed. “Professor Babbling, a moment, if I may? I’ve got a few questions about…”
“Not now, Perce,” Fred cut in, shooting him a sharp look. “We are in the middle of something very important with Professor R.”
Percy sniffed, clearly unimpressed. “You were asking his favourite biscuit five minutes ago.”
George didn’t even flinch. “Exactly. Crucial research.”
Cassian took a lazy sip of his tea. “I said shortbread. You asked, I answered. Not sure why you’re dragging me into this battle of the biscuits.”
“Because you’re the tiebreaker,” Fred said solemnly. “If we don’t get this right, Hogwarts may never recover.”
Percy made a noise that suggested he was either choking on his pride or resisting the urge to hex his brothers. “Professor Rosier, I really must insist…”
“Sit down, Mr Weasley,” Cassian said mildly, not looking up from the Prophet. “You’re casting a shadow over my marmalade.”
Luna, staring at the candles, said, “Do you suppose the flames are sentient? They might know things.”
Hermione let out a quiet huff, tugging her book closer like it might shield her from the nonsense.
“I highly doubt that,” she muttered.
Cassian chuckled. “Actually, there are fire spirits in some myths that talk about flame having a memory. Old Norse stories claimed you could ask a hearth fire questions, and if it liked you enough, it’d answer. Of course, if it didn’t, you would end up with your beard singed off.” He took another bite of toast, ignoring the fact that he just dropped an odd little nugget into the conversation.
Luna’s eyes widened slightly. “That makes sense. They’ve got personalities, I can tell.”
Hermione stared in disbelief, clearly deciding not to argue. Cassian glanced at her over the rim of his tea, smirking faintly. “Don’t look so scandalised, Granger. People have believed stranger things. At least fire gives you warmth. Half the stuff people worshipped back in the day would’ve happily eaten them.”
Fred leaned forward. “Like what, Professor?”
“Plenty,” Cassian said lightly. “Try binding a bog spirit and see how quickly it eats your toes. Or better yet, don’t. Makes for a messy afternoon.”
George propped his chin on his hand, eyes bright. “You are making that up.”
“Am I?” Cassian raised a brow. “Go on then, ask a hearth fire if it remembers anything. If it starts screaming at you, don’t come crying to me.”
Luna’s humming grew louder. “I think our fire would sing,” she murmured.
Percy had clearly had enough. He snorted, spun on his heel and stalked off, muttering something about “serious academic standards.”
Cassian watched him go with a faint grin. “Good lad, Percy. Very diligent. He’ll make a fine Ministry clerk someday, provided no one asks him to smile.”
Bathsheda hid a faint laugh behind her hand.
Cassian turned to Harry, leaning lazily with his teacup in hand. “How is your Defence Against the Dark Arts going, then? Since no one is floating around clutching ‘Magical Me’ with a lovesick look, I would say Lockhart’s little glamour is wearing off.”
Harry blinked at him, startled. “Er… it is… fine, I suppose?”
Cassian raised a brow. “Fine? That is not the glowing endorsement I was expecting. What’s wrong? Did he stop signing his own photos in class?”
Hermione gave a soft huff, biting into her bread. “It is all very… theatrical. He spent the last lesson telling us how he caught a Banshee in her lair with only a hairbrush and a copy of Witch Weekly.”
“Hairbrush and a magazine?” Cassian repeated, lips twitching. “Sounds less like a duel and more like foreplay gone wrong.”
Ron snorted into his pumpkin juice, earning a sharp elbow from Hermione.
“Don’t laugh,” she hissed. “None of us learned anything about counter-curses in a month.”
Cassian tilted his head. “Well, that tracks. Lockhart wouldn’t recognise a counter-curse if it danced naked in front of him waving a placard.”
“Sir?” Neville spoke up timidly from the other side of the bench. “Have there ever been real cases where… y’know… Banshees were defeated like that?”
Cassian arched a brow at him. “Oh, definitely. Right after the time Merlin defeated a dragon by waving a tea towel and whistling ‘God Save the Queen.'”
Fred snickered. George nearly choked on his toast.
“Sorry, Longbottom,” Cassian added smoothly. “If you want real Banshee lore, you need to go back a few centuries. Old Irish tales said a Banshee didn’t attack at all. She was more of a warning… crying on the eve of someone’s death. The smart ones lit candles, said their prayers, and hoped it wasn’t for them. The daft ones tried to chase her off and usually tripped over a stone wall in the dark.”
Luna, still humming faintly, piped up. “They say Banshees remember every soul they’ve ever mourned. Maybe that is why their wails are so sad.”
Cassian tapped the table with one finger. “Now there is a theory I can get behind. Makes more sense than Lockhart’s hairbrush heroics.”
Harry gave a weak smile. “So… we should just ignore him, then?”
Cassian leaned forward slightly, smirking. “Ignore? No, no. Watch him closely. One day he is going to try actually fighting something dangerous, and when it goes wrong, you will want front-row seats. Just keep a sword handy… just in case.”
Hermione almost rolled her eyes, then remembered table manners. “He isn’t even covering the basics properly. If we get tested on actual duelling techniques, half the class will fail.”
“True,” Cassian said lightly. “But at least you will all have beautifully autographed textbooks to cry into.”
Ron chuckled low under his breath. “I reckon Mum still got his full set at home. She would cry if she knew what he’s like in person.”
“Clever marketing, that is what it is,” Cassian said, sipping his tea. “Man got the Ministry eating out of his hand and a queue of witches lining up to hear him waffle on about ghouls.”
“Do you know any of those counter-curses, sir?” Harry asked.
Cassian shot him a sidelong look. “Do I know them? Potter, I taught half of them to Flitwick back when he still had hair.”
The knife in Hermione’s hand stilled. “Wait… really?”
He smirked. “No. But you believed it for a second, didn’t you?”
The twins cackled.
Hermione rolled her eyes. “You shouldn’t joke about that.”
“Why not? Joking keeps me from flipping a table every time Lockhart opens his mouth.” Cassian stretched his legs under the table. “All right, I will tell you what, next time he tries teaching you to fend off a werewolf with a bottle of hair gel, tell him Professor Rosier knows a werewolf that can demonstrate the battle. Watch him make poor excuses.”
Fred grinned wide. “You actually know a werewolf, sir?”
–Chapter 88’s “But when you find out I alphabetise my tea and leave diary in the bath, don’t say I didn’t warn you” was a reference to this chapter. I know it caused some misunderstanding because I didn’t use “the,” but using the felt too on-the-nose, and “a” didn’t feel right either. Anyway, that’s the reasoning.
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Author Rant ↓
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You’re not absent. You’re conceptually minimalist.
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Source: Webnovel.com, updated by NovelKeep
Chapters
- Chapter 320 320: Like a Butterfly
- Chapter 319 319: Three Patronuses
- Chapter 318 318: Storm
- Chapter 317 317: Festive!
- Chapter 316 316: Change the World
- Chapter 315 315: Age of the Fine Bronze
- Chapter 314 314: Valley of Magic
- Chapter 313
- Chapter 312
- Chapter 311 311: Students vs Professors
- Chapter 310 310: Sword
- Chapter 309 309: Ashfal
- Chapter 308 308: Plague
- Chapter 307 307: Open Class
- Chapter 306 306: Double Wedding
- Chapter 305 305: Separation
- Chapter 304 304: Veil
- Chapter 303 303: Plans!
- Chapter 302 302: Gamble
- Chapter 301 301: Offer!
- Chapter 300 300: Bathael
- Chapter 299 299: Miracle
- Chapter 298 298: Death
- Chapter 297 297: Elder Wand
- Chapter 296 296: Sigh!
- Chapter 295 295: Lilies and Memories
- Chapter 294 294: Rage
- Chapter 293 293: Bark
- Chapter 292 292: Purge
- Chapter 291 291: Portal
- Chapter 290 290: Date!
- Chapter 289 289: Cabinet
- Chapter 288 288: It's a Date!
- Chapter 287 287: Space
- Chapter 286 286: Renunciation
- Chapter 285 285: Apparition
- Chapter 284 284: Revelio!
- Chapter 283 283: Staff
- Chapter 282 282: Goblins
- Chapter 281 281: Vault
- Chapter 280 280: Luck!
- Chapter 279 279: Moonspit and Romance
- Chapter 278 278: Cloak
- Chapter 277 277: Blood Curse and Talents
- Chapter 276 276: Amortal
- Chapter 275 275: Locket
- Chapter 274 274: WWW
- Chapter 273 273: Evil
- Chapter 272 272: Souls
- Chapter 271 271: Acclaim
- Chapter 270 270: Same Old Dread
- Chapter 269 269: Home
- Chapter 268 268: Curse and Worse
- Chapter 267 267: Self-Fulfilling
- Chapter 266 266: Child Soldier
- Chapter 265 265: Fury
- Chapter 264 264: Surprise!
- Chapter 263 263: Fight!
- Chapter 262 262: Hate
- Chapter 261 261: Family Reunion
- Chapter 260 260: Traitor
- Chapter 259 259: He'll Die!
- Chapter 258 258: The Real Dark Lord
- Chapter 257 257: Cheat
- Chapter 256 256: Exams
- Chapter 255 255: Career Advice
- Chapter 254 254: Prophecies
- Chapter 253 253: Shell
- Chapter 252 252: Drunk Phoenix
- Chapter 251 251: Choice
- Chapter 250 250: Winky
- Chapter 249 249: Wardnet
- Chapter 248 248: Past, Present and Future
- Chapter 247 247: Collection
- Chapter 246 246: Giant
- Chapter 245 245: Fire Eaters
- Chapter 244 244: Worry
- Chapter 243 243: Teacher
- Chapter 242 242: Tree
- Chapter 241 241: Duel!
- Chapter 240 240: Magic-tech?
- Chapter 239 239: CCL
- Chapter 238 238: Hem Hem
- Chapter 237 237: Insane!
- Chapter 236 236: Power the Dark Lord Knows Not
- Chapter 235 235: Proud
- Chapter 234 234: Drained
- Chapter 233 233: Compensate
- Chapter 232 232: Ritual
- Chapter 231 231: Portkey
- Chapter 230 230: Maze
- Chapter 229 229: Alive!
- Chapter 228 228: Targeted Teaching
- Chapter 227 227: Dread
- Chapter 226 226: Law
- Chapter 225 225: Second Task!
- Chapter 224 224: Justified Rage
- Chapter 223 223: Sick
- Chapter 222 222: Love Potion
- Chapter 221 221: Muffin
- Chapter 220 220: Double Date
- Chapter 219 219: DRAGONS!
- Chapter 218 218: Balls
- Chapter 217 217: Ancient Variant of an Ancient Variant?
- Chapter 216 216: The Tragic Courtship Display of the British Adolescent
- Chapter 215 215: First Task
- Chapter 214 214: Contract
- Chapter 213 213: Spy
- Chapter 212 212: Four Seasons
- Chapter 211 211: Napkin Tournaments
- Chapter 210 210: Champions!
- Chapter 209 209: Worth!
- Chapter 208 208: Guests!
- Chapter 207 207: Accio My Beloved!
- Chapter 206 206: H.E.A.R.T.
- Chapter 205 205: Shield
- Chapter 204 204: Acclimation
- Chapter 203 203: Hexing Students
- Chapter 202 202: Simple
- Chapter 201 201: Intent
- Chapter 200 200: Quintic-Magick Cup
- Chapter 199 199: The Bug!
- Chapter 198 198: Attack!
- Chapter 197 197: Warning!
- Chapter 196 196: Pet
- Chapter 195 195: Unwelcomed
- Chapter 194 194: Dread
- Chapter 193 193: Djinn
- Chapter 192 192: Wake and Heed My Command
- Chapter 191 191: Monsters!
- Chapter 190 190: Awake
- Chapter 189 189: Force
- Chapter 188 188: Politics
- Chapter 187 187: Without You!
- Chapter 186 186: Avada
- Chapter 185 185: Smile!
- Chapter 184 184: Immune
- Chapter 183 183: Freeze!
- Chapter 182 182: A Fool's Chronicles - It's April! Part 2 (Read After Ch170)
- Chapter 181 181: Moon
- A Fool’s Chronicles – It’s April! Part 2 (Read After Ch170)
- Chapter 180 180: Always
- Chapter 179 179: Ominous
- Chapter 178 178: A Fool's Chronicles - It's April! Part 1 (Read After Ch170)
- A Fool’s Chronicles – It’s April! Part 1 (Read After Ch170)
- Chapter 177 177: Rat
- Chapter 176 176: Love
- Chapter 175 175: Serious Howl
- Chapter 174 174: MWPP
- Chapter 173 173: Map
- Chapter 172 172: Patronus
- Chapter 171 171: Grim
- Chapter 170 170: Chimera
- Chapter 169 169: Cushions
- Chapter 168 168: Duel?
- Chapter 167 167: Praise
- Chapter 166 166: Headmasters
- Chapter 165 165: Forced!
- Chapter 164 164: Liar!
- Chapter 163 163: Druid
- Chapter 162 162: No
- Chapter 161 161: Damn You, Sirius Black!
- Chapter 160 160: Dementors!
- Chapter 159 159: Fear
- Chapter 158 158: Logic
- Chapter 157 157: Rewind!
- Chapter 156 156: Boggart
- Chapter 155 155: Cookie?
- Chapter 154 154: Crack
- Chapter 153 153: Mouse
- Chapter 152 152: Siriusly?
- Chapter 151 151: Foam
- Chapter 150 150: Events
- Chapter 149 149: Alternate Reality
- Chapter 148 148: Footpath
- Chapter 147 147: Ngaralu
- Chapter 146 146: Call!
- Chapter 145 145: Noctis
- Chapter 144 144: Summer
- Chapter 143 143: Power
- Chapter 142 142: Thief's Chronicle I - The Burden (Read After -Rowena vs Illiteracy-)
- Chapter 141 141: Dismissed
- Thief’s Chronicle I – The Burden (Read After -Rowena vs Illiteracy-)
- Chapter 140 140: Memory Wipe!
- Chapter 139 139: Dark
- Chapter 138 138: Riddle!
- Chapter 137 137: Chamber
- Chapter 136 136: Sacked
- Chapter 135 135: Creed
- Chapter 134 134: Valentine's
- Chapter 133 133: Ash
- Chapter 132 132: Favours
- Ch131- Sacked
- Ch130- Creed
- Ch129- Valentine’s
- Ch128- Ash
- Ch127- Favours
- Ch126- Spectacle-s
- Ch125- Shot!
- Ch124- Lost
- Ch123- Yule
- Ch122- Clue!
- Ch121- Parselmouth
- Ch120- Duel
- Ch119- Joy
- Ch118- Decision!
- Ch117- Blah Blah Law
- Ch116- Crack
- Ch115- Confess
- Ch114- Especially!
- Ch113- Rogue
- Ch112- Bird is the Word!
- Ch111- Parents
- Ch110- Damn You Lucius!
- Ch109- NO!
- Ch108- Daisy
- Ch107- Trust Me Bro, Click the Link
- Ch106- Hello, World!
- Ch105- Bad Decisions!
- Ch104- Wand!
- Ch103- Star!
- Ch102- Dragon Wakes!
- Ch101- Shrine
- Ch100- Meeting
- Ch99- Punch
- Ch98- Invest All!
- Ch97- Gate
- Ch96- Never Forget!
- Ch95- Forget!
- Ch94- Immortal Couple
- Ch93- Curse or Gift
- Ch92- Mob
- C- Between the Lines #3 – Rowena vs Illiteracy (Read After Ch 30)
- Ch91- Break
- Ch90- Temple
- Ch89- Family First
- Ch88- House-Visit
- Ch87- Bloody Rosier
- Ch86- Points
- Ch85- Play
- Ch84- The Obstacle
- Ch83- Would He?
- Ch82- Ignivolatus
- Ch81- Say It!
- Ch80- Wraith
- Ch79- Murder Forest
- Ch78- Summon
- Ch77- Comfortable
- Ch76- Bond!
- Ch75- Dragon?
- Ch74- Secrets
- Ch73- Erase!
- Ch72- Memory
- Curse Logs #1 – Marius Vale (Read After Ch 28)
- Ch71- Thief
- Ch70- Mirror
- Between the Lines #3 – Regulus vs Lucius(Read After Ch 58)
- Ch69- Crushing Defeat
- Ch68- Chess
- Ch67- Snow
- Ch66- Game On
- Ch65- Soaked
- Between the Lines #2 – Gryffindor vs Ghost (Read After Ch 56)
- Ch64- Leviosaaa!
- Ch63- Troll
- Ch62- Flawed
- Between the Lines #1 – Slytherin vs Badger (Read After Ch 56)
- Ch61- Tribute
- Ch60- Punishment
- Ch59- Fly!
- Ch58- Daddy!
- Ch57- A DAMN PEN!
- Ch56- WHY?!
- Ch55- The Greatest Creation!
- Ch54- Revenge!
- Ch53- Secrets?
- Ch52- Measure of Deterrence
- Ch51- New Year
- Ch50- Potter
- Ch49- Yoghurt
- Ch48- Return
- Ch47- Master Ji
- Ch46- SMELLS LIKE… LIES!
- Ch45- Extra
- Ch44- Türkiye
- Ch43- Troublesome Runes
- Ch42- Eureka
- Ch41- Pungent
- Ch40- Hot!
- Ch39- Gravitas
- Ch38- Serious?
- Ch37- A Rosier
- Ch36- Not That Name!
- Ch35- Staff Meeting
- Ch34- Somewhere Else
- Ch33- Age Line
- Ch32- Coward!
- Spells and Ancient Varriants
- Ch31- Academic Liabilities
- Ch30- Founders
- Ch29- Soooo…
- Ch28- New Professor
- Ch27- Magical Contraception
- Ch26- Mind Magic
- Ch25- Brand
- Ch24- Fjords
- Ch23- Brain Drills
- Ch22- Almost A Proper One
- Ch21- Collapse
- Ch20- Ancient Cave
- Ch19- Family
- Ch18- Bloody Historians
- Ch17- Curse
- Ch16- Surviving the Year
- Ch15- Bathsheda Babbling
- Ch14- Aromic Bomb
- Ch13- Selena Rosier
- Ch12- Softening Charm
- Ch11- Unerasable History
- Ch10- Kitchen
- Ch9- The Witch!
- Ch8- First Lesson
- Ch7- New Year Begins
- Ch6- Professor Rosier
- Ch5- Lucian Rosier
- Ch4- Teacher?
- Ch3- Lumos
- Ch2- List
- Ch1- Useless. Failure. A Joke!
- Character Images