Chapter 274 274: WWW
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- Harry Potter and the Surprisingly Competent History of Magic Professor
- Chapter 274 274: WWW
Cassian and Bathsheda strolled down Diagon Alley, hands linked, weaving through the mess of weekend traffic. Witches crowded the street with bags of spell supplies, pastries, and protesting children.
A shopkeeper shouted something about anti-chafing robes. Someone else banged into a display of quills and let out a stream of swears so colourful Cassian considered applauding.
“Did you hear,” a young man said behind them, “they’re discussing spell licensing now?”
“More forms,” his friend muttered. “That’s all it means.”
A younger woman, clearly repeating an official line for the tenth time that day, snapped, “Only in public spaces for crowd safety.”
A knot of teenagers passed by on their left, talking loudly.
“I heard the Skiving Snackbox gives you a nosebleed and a hall pass,” one girl said.
“Only if you eat the green end first,” another chimed in.
Further ahead, a pack of fourth-years giggled their way out of Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes, arms loaded with suspicious-looking tins and boxes. One of the twins’ newer tricks, something that fizzed when you opened it, smelled of ozone, and probably turned your eyebrows into hedge animals.
“Someone’s getting hexed before lunch,” Bathsheda muttered.
“Hopefully it’s their head of house,” Cassian said.
She turned to look at him, her mouth tugging into something caught between a smile and a wince. “Do you regret it?”
He blinked. “What?”
“Making them more academic. Letting them graduate.”
Cassian sighed, long and theatrical. “Every day. They used to just be dangerous. Now they’re dangerous and clever. Worst combination possible.”
She laughed softly. “You did that.”
“I know. I’ll take full responsibility.”
A small crowd had gathered outside the shop, half of them clutching new joke boxes, the other half clearly trying to work out what the noise was that had come from inside.
The front door banged open.
Fred stepped out with a grin. George followed, arms wide, cutting through the crowd like a knife through butter.
“There they are!” Fred bellowed. “Right on time.”
George swept into a half-bow. “Rosier and Babbling, patron saints of our academic legitimacy!”
The crowd shuffled aside. A few of the younger ones stared like they’d spotted celebrities. Someone held up a notebook. Cassian pretended not to see it.
Fred was about to throw an arm round his shoulder then thought better of it, and pointed inside. “Come in, come in. We’ve just finished the new display. It’s bloody majestic.”
George stood on the other side. “Mind the floor. The new shoes aren’t properly bound yet.”
Bathsheda raised an eyebrow. “Bound?”
“They’ve got opinions,” Fred said cheerfully. “And a fondness for stealing socks.”
Cassian muttered, “We should invite the Headmaster.”
They beamed.
The place was exploding. A queue trailed halfway down the street, and someone had spelled glitter onto the signage. Every five minutes, a different shelf went up in noisy sparks. Chaos, neatly bottled and sold by the handful.
Cassian blinked as a box rolled past his foot. It meowed.
Inside, people were stripping shelves bare.
George pointed to the basin just outside the shop. “That’s new.”
A wide stone bowl sat on a stand, water rippling with a faint pink shimmer. A charm above it ticked once every three hours, releasing a single drop of something rose-coloured into the mix.
Cassian tilted his head. “That ours?”
Bathsheda nodded. “Rose Bath. Looks like they are distributing it now.”
Back when they’d made it, they’d sold it cheap. At cost, for the first month. After that, they’d just started giving it away. The schools took it gladly.
The twins had joined in, it seemed. They’d made enough money by now to slap it on their shelves, price it at half nothing, and drop vats of it into major stations across Britain. Now even Knockturn had a tap installed near their market fountain.
George waved vaguely at the basin. “We added a side note: ‘If your date don’t like our shop, ask why.'”
Fred added, “And a discount coupon if they do.”
Cassian deadpanned. “Romance, weaponised.”
Fred tilted his head. “We owe you both for this one. Properly.”
Cassian waved him off. “We didn’t invent it for the glory.”
Some shelves shimmered, rearranging themselves mid-air. Others groaned under weight, clearly not enjoying the amount of foot traffic.
Fred stepped aside as a customer leaned past them to grab a bag of what looked like Bladderwort Putty.
George jerked his chin toward the back room. “You two staying for the new line demo?”
Cassian eyed the gathering crowd. A girl just accidentally hexed her own boots. A second-year was trying to talk a rubber duck into doing a backflip.
He glanced at Bathsheda. “Do we dare?”
She gave him a look.
“Alright,” he said. “But if this one explodes, I’m blaming your optimism.”
Fred grinned. “No explosions. Just a little temporal displacement.”
Cassian groaned. “You made time bombs.”
“Educational ones,” George said.
Bathsheda sighed. “Of course they did.”
They stepped deeper inside. A wave of steam rolled off a shelf to their left. The crowd parted around them, and somewhere above, a floating sign read:
YOU SURVIVED ROSIER’S CLASS. YOU DESERVE TO BLOW SOMETHING UP.
Cassian didn’t even argue.
***
Cassian and Dumbledore Apparated just outside Slughorn’s front garden. The place looked like it had been in a fight with a banshee and lost. Windows smashed, drapes torn, bits of ceiling on the floor like confetti. Books overturned. Spatters of something unpleasant along the hallway wall.
Cassian took one glance around and muttered, “Bit theatrical, even for a kidnapping.”
Dumbledore didn’t reply. He was already eyeing the mess with a faint frown, lips pressed.
Cassian’s gaze drifted to the armchair.
“Here,” he said.
“Indeed,” Dumbledore murmured.
He walked over and gave the armchair a sharp jab with his wand.
“Ouch,” it snapped, voice thoroughly offended.
The whole thing gave a shudder, then peeled backwards into flesh. One blink and the furniture was gone. In its place, a very large, very pink man unfolded himself onto the carpet, groaning as he clutched his gut.
“There was no need to stick the wand in that hard,” he grumbled, squinting up at Dumbledore with watery eyes. “It hurt.”
Cassian arched a brow.
The man clambered upright, still muttering about internal bruising and professional courtesy. Then his eyes landed on Cassian and brightened in a way that should’ve come with fanfare.
“Cassian, my boy!” he cried. “Heavens, I’ve heard your name non-stop these days. You remember, don’t you? When I first invited you to the Slug Club? Everyone said I’d lost the plot, but I knew. I always believed in you.”
Cassian rolled his eyes. “You believed in my surname,” he said. “Close enough.”
Dumbledore had been right, it seemed, unfortunately. Slughorn still remembered him.
Back then he had never invited him because he showed promise. When Cassian was a student, he had been dead weight magically. Could not cast Lumos to save his life. Everyone knew it. Slughorn knew it too.
That’d never stopped the invitations.
The Rosier name had done the work for him. Slughorn collected surnames the way other people collected teacups, and Cassian’s had been one worth polishing.
Dumbledore had brought him here for the same reason. Slughorn sat on memories, the soft, sticky sort people liked to keep half-buried. If anyone knew how far Tom Riddle had pushed the theory, it would be him.
They let Slughorn finish preening. Then Cassian turned to him.
“Well, Professor, we’re here for a former student of yours. You’ll remember the name. Tom Marvolo Riddle. He calls himself Voldemort these days.”
The colour drained from Slughorn’s face.
“What?” he blurted. “Are those two related?”
Cassian shut his eyes for half a second and reopened them.
“I am really not in the mood for riddles, no pun intended, Professor,” he said. “We are here for information. Voldemort is not as frightening as you make him out to be. You heard about last year’s battle. You have enough ears in the Ministry to know how it ended. He tucked his tail between his legs and ran.”
Slughorn stood stiff in the wreckage, eyes darting from the shattered chairs to the buckled table.
“I, really. Talk like that, it’s far too grim,” he said, voice high, thin. “Not the sort of thing one discusses… in a place like this.”
Cassian flicked his wand and the room rebuilt itself with a soft whoosh, scattered books stacked, broken glass zipped into place, chairs straightened like nervous students. Then with a second wave, plates slid into view, followed by dishes so obscenely fancy they had to be conjured from memory.
Cassian gestured grandly to the table. “There. Now it’s a dinner conversation.”
Slughorn stared. His mouth clenched. Cassian pushed a goblet towards him.
“We’re asking about Horcruxes,” he said. “Specifically how many little death nuggets Tommy made before you realised your club wasn’t just hosting budding sociopaths.”
“I… well-,” he muttered, flustered, “it’s all speculation, really. Tom was an advanced student, but I wouldn’t-“
He fiddled with his napkin, even though he hadn’t sat down. His eyes flicked to Dumbledore, then back to Cassian, who did not look away.
“I suppose… in theory… if one were so inclined…”
Cassian gave a sunny smile. “Horace. I know what a Horcrux is. The question isn’t ‘what if,’ it’s ‘how many.’ I’ve got a number. The Headmaster’s got a guess. We want confirmation.”
Slughorn’s shoulders hunched like someone had dropped a sack of guilt on them. He grabbed a fork, fiddled with it, then finally gave up and said, “Six.”
Cassian’s brow twitched. “Six?”
Slughorn nodded, eyes darting. “That’s what he said. Seven was the goal. Six Horcruxes and his soul. He thought it powerful. Magical numbers, you know, seven being the most-“
“Yeah, yeah, numerology,” Cassian waved it off. “So he made six.”
That meant seven in total, with the original soul stub included.
Slughorn blinked. “Possibly.”
Cassian raised a hand. “Just so I’m clear. He came to you, tea, biscuits, hey-professor-how-much-murder-for-immortality, and you didn’t think to follow up when he casually mentioned splitting his soul like a chocolate bar?”
Slughorn’s face went pink. “I was horrified! I told him off, as any decent teacher would. I thought he was joking!”
Cassian gave him a look.
“I thought he was bright, not… not evil,” Slughorn said, softer.
Dumbledore finally spoke. “Do you remember when this conversation happened?”
Slughorn hesitated. “Sixth year. No, maybe earlier. He was always… curious. Always pushing.”
Cassian stood upright. “So you gave him the theory. Maybe not the method, but the base.”
“I didn’t know he’d go through with it,” Slughorn said. “It was just a theoretical conversation-“
“No,” Cassian cut in, voice low. “It wasn’t.”
Slughorn looked like he might sink into the floor.
Cassian tapped the table. “Seven. That’s what we needed.”
Slughorn slumped into the nearest chair. “Merlin help us.”
Cassian got up. “Bit late for that, Horace. But sure, let’s hope.”
***
Two of them walked down the narrow garden path. They’d told Slughorn to take a holiday, vanish far, preferably somewhere warm and wandless. Maybe he’d take the hint and not stop halfway to write memoirs. Tommy wouldn’t like anyone remembering his little after-school murder chat, much less someone dumb enough to say it out loud. Whether it helped or not didn’t matter much. Cassian remembered this part too well.
His mates used to argue about it in his old life, was it seven or eight? Depends if you counted the original soul, or the accident, or the snake, or whatever bloody thing Riddle sneezed into next. They spent more time fighting over grammar than the murder bits.
Someone had even got stuck on the plural. Horcruxes? Horcruxen? Horcri?
Cassian told them to sod off with their fake Latin and read a real textbook. They never did.
“We’ve got the diary, the fake locket, the ring, the diadem, and Potter,” he muttered, counting off on his fingers. He stopped walking.
“And Helga’s cup is likely one,” he went on. “Which puts it on the board. That’s six known anchors. Potter was accidental, though. Which means we’re still short.”
Dumbledore frowned slightly. “I believe one was used to tether his return. The ritual itself consumed it. If that involved the cup, I cannot say. One is gone, regardless.”
Cassian clicked his tongue. “That still leaves two.”
“At most,” Dumbledore said. “His soul was unstable long before his return. I doubt he managed more than one or two after that. Even he has limits.”
“Brilliant,” Cassian muttered.
They reached the pavement and stopped. Cassian turned to him.
“One more thing,” he said. “That note. R.A.B. You ever work out who that was?”
Dumbledore gave a hesitant nod. “I believe it was Regulus Black.”
Cassian frowned. That name he knew. Regulus had been a proper little Slytherin poster boy back when Cassian was new at Hogwarts. Fifth year when he arrived.
“Black’s younger brother,” Cassian said. “Sirius’s.”
“Yes.”
Cassian’s eyes narrowed. “You’re telling me he turned.”
“I think he did,” Dumbledore said. “And I think it cost him his life.”
Cassian stared at the street, if he drank that thing in the cave, yeah. It’s possible.
He looked back at Dumbledore. “What was his middle name again?”
“Arcturus,” Dumbledore said, just as they reached the gate.
Cassian hummed. “Thought so. Go ask Sirius, then. Maybe he’ll throw a family heirloom at your head.”
Dumbledore smiled, tired but warm. “See you at school, Cassian.”
Cassian gave him a two-fingered mock salute. “Safe travels, Headmaster.”
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Chapters
- Chapter 320 320: Like a Butterfly
- Chapter 319 319: Three Patronuses
- Chapter 318 318: Storm
- Chapter 317 317: Festive!
- Chapter 316 316: Change the World
- Chapter 315 315: Age of the Fine Bronze
- Chapter 314 314: Valley of Magic
- Chapter 313
- Chapter 312
- Chapter 311 311: Students vs Professors
- Chapter 310 310: Sword
- Chapter 309 309: Ashfal
- Chapter 308 308: Plague
- Chapter 307 307: Open Class
- Chapter 306 306: Double Wedding
- Chapter 305 305: Separation
- Chapter 304 304: Veil
- Chapter 303 303: Plans!
- Chapter 302 302: Gamble
- Chapter 301 301: Offer!
- Chapter 300 300: Bathael
- Chapter 299 299: Miracle
- Chapter 298 298: Death
- Chapter 297 297: Elder Wand
- Chapter 296 296: Sigh!
- Chapter 295 295: Lilies and Memories
- Chapter 294 294: Rage
- Chapter 293 293: Bark
- Chapter 292 292: Purge
- Chapter 291 291: Portal
- Chapter 290 290: Date!
- Chapter 289 289: Cabinet
- Chapter 288 288: It's a Date!
- Chapter 287 287: Space
- Chapter 286 286: Renunciation
- Chapter 285 285: Apparition
- Chapter 284 284: Revelio!
- Chapter 283 283: Staff
- Chapter 282 282: Goblins
- Chapter 281 281: Vault
- Chapter 280 280: Luck!
- Chapter 279 279: Moonspit and Romance
- Chapter 278 278: Cloak
- Chapter 277 277: Blood Curse and Talents
- Chapter 276 276: Amortal
- Chapter 275 275: Locket
- Chapter 274 274: WWW
- Chapter 273 273: Evil
- Chapter 272 272: Souls
- Chapter 271 271: Acclaim
- Chapter 270 270: Same Old Dread
- Chapter 269 269: Home
- Chapter 268 268: Curse and Worse
- Chapter 267 267: Self-Fulfilling
- Chapter 266 266: Child Soldier
- Chapter 265 265: Fury
- Chapter 264 264: Surprise!
- Chapter 263 263: Fight!
- Chapter 262 262: Hate
- Chapter 261 261: Family Reunion
- Chapter 260 260: Traitor
- Chapter 259 259: He'll Die!
- Chapter 258 258: The Real Dark Lord
- Chapter 257 257: Cheat
- Chapter 256 256: Exams
- Chapter 255 255: Career Advice
- Chapter 254 254: Prophecies
- Chapter 253 253: Shell
- Chapter 252 252: Drunk Phoenix
- Chapter 251 251: Choice
- Chapter 250 250: Winky
- Chapter 249 249: Wardnet
- Chapter 248 248: Past, Present and Future
- Chapter 247 247: Collection
- Chapter 246 246: Giant
- Chapter 245 245: Fire Eaters
- Chapter 244 244: Worry
- Chapter 243 243: Teacher
- Chapter 242 242: Tree
- Chapter 241 241: Duel!
- Chapter 240 240: Magic-tech?
- Chapter 239 239: CCL
- Chapter 238 238: Hem Hem
- Chapter 237 237: Insane!
- Chapter 236 236: Power the Dark Lord Knows Not
- Chapter 235 235: Proud
- Chapter 234 234: Drained
- Chapter 233 233: Compensate
- Chapter 232 232: Ritual
- Chapter 231 231: Portkey
- Chapter 230 230: Maze
- Chapter 229 229: Alive!
- Chapter 228 228: Targeted Teaching
- Chapter 227 227: Dread
- Chapter 226 226: Law
- Chapter 225 225: Second Task!
- Chapter 224 224: Justified Rage
- Chapter 223 223: Sick
- Chapter 222 222: Love Potion
- Chapter 221 221: Muffin
- Chapter 220 220: Double Date
- Chapter 219 219: DRAGONS!
- Chapter 218 218: Balls
- Chapter 217 217: Ancient Variant of an Ancient Variant?
- Chapter 216 216: The Tragic Courtship Display of the British Adolescent
- Chapter 215 215: First Task
- Chapter 214 214: Contract
- Chapter 213 213: Spy
- Chapter 212 212: Four Seasons
- Chapter 211 211: Napkin Tournaments
- Chapter 210 210: Champions!
- Chapter 209 209: Worth!
- Chapter 208 208: Guests!
- Chapter 207 207: Accio My Beloved!
- Chapter 206 206: H.E.A.R.T.
- Chapter 205 205: Shield
- Chapter 204 204: Acclimation
- Chapter 203 203: Hexing Students
- Chapter 202 202: Simple
- Chapter 201 201: Intent
- Chapter 200 200: Quintic-Magick Cup
- Chapter 199 199: The Bug!
- Chapter 198 198: Attack!
- Chapter 197 197: Warning!
- Chapter 196 196: Pet
- Chapter 195 195: Unwelcomed
- Chapter 194 194: Dread
- Chapter 193 193: Djinn
- Chapter 192 192: Wake and Heed My Command
- Chapter 191 191: Monsters!
- Chapter 190 190: Awake
- Chapter 189 189: Force
- Chapter 188 188: Politics
- Chapter 187 187: Without You!
- Chapter 186 186: Avada
- Chapter 185 185: Smile!
- Chapter 184 184: Immune
- Chapter 183 183: Freeze!
- Chapter 182 182: A Fool's Chronicles - It's April! Part 2 (Read After Ch170)
- Chapter 181 181: Moon
- A Fool’s Chronicles – It’s April! Part 2 (Read After Ch170)
- Chapter 180 180: Always
- Chapter 179 179: Ominous
- Chapter 178 178: A Fool's Chronicles - It's April! Part 1 (Read After Ch170)
- A Fool’s Chronicles – It’s April! Part 1 (Read After Ch170)
- Chapter 177 177: Rat
- Chapter 176 176: Love
- Chapter 175 175: Serious Howl
- Chapter 174 174: MWPP
- Chapter 173 173: Map
- Chapter 172 172: Patronus
- Chapter 171 171: Grim
- Chapter 170 170: Chimera
- Chapter 169 169: Cushions
- Chapter 168 168: Duel?
- Chapter 167 167: Praise
- Chapter 166 166: Headmasters
- Chapter 165 165: Forced!
- Chapter 164 164: Liar!
- Chapter 163 163: Druid
- Chapter 162 162: No
- Chapter 161 161: Damn You, Sirius Black!
- Chapter 160 160: Dementors!
- Chapter 159 159: Fear
- Chapter 158 158: Logic
- Chapter 157 157: Rewind!
- Chapter 156 156: Boggart
- Chapter 155 155: Cookie?
- Chapter 154 154: Crack
- Chapter 153 153: Mouse
- Chapter 152 152: Siriusly?
- Chapter 151 151: Foam
- Chapter 150 150: Events
- Chapter 149 149: Alternate Reality
- Chapter 148 148: Footpath
- Chapter 147 147: Ngaralu
- Chapter 146 146: Call!
- Chapter 145 145: Noctis
- Chapter 144 144: Summer
- Chapter 143 143: Power
- Chapter 142 142: Thief's Chronicle I - The Burden (Read After -Rowena vs Illiteracy-)
- Chapter 141 141: Dismissed
- Thief’s Chronicle I – The Burden (Read After -Rowena vs Illiteracy-)
- Chapter 140 140: Memory Wipe!
- Chapter 139 139: Dark
- Chapter 138 138: Riddle!
- Chapter 137 137: Chamber
- Chapter 136 136: Sacked
- Chapter 135 135: Creed
- Chapter 134 134: Valentine's
- Chapter 133 133: Ash
- Chapter 132 132: Favours
- Ch131- Sacked
- Ch130- Creed
- Ch129- Valentine’s
- Ch128- Ash
- Ch127- Favours
- Ch126- Spectacle-s
- Ch125- Shot!
- Ch124- Lost
- Ch123- Yule
- Ch122- Clue!
- Ch121- Parselmouth
- Ch120- Duel
- Ch119- Joy
- Ch118- Decision!
- Ch117- Blah Blah Law
- Ch116- Crack
- Ch115- Confess
- Ch114- Especially!
- Ch113- Rogue
- Ch112- Bird is the Word!
- Ch111- Parents
- Ch110- Damn You Lucius!
- Ch109- NO!
- Ch108- Daisy
- Ch107- Trust Me Bro, Click the Link
- Ch106- Hello, World!
- Ch105- Bad Decisions!
- Ch104- Wand!
- Ch103- Star!
- Ch102- Dragon Wakes!
- Ch101- Shrine
- Ch100- Meeting
- Ch99- Punch
- Ch98- Invest All!
- Ch97- Gate
- Ch96- Never Forget!
- Ch95- Forget!
- Ch94- Immortal Couple
- Ch93- Curse or Gift
- Ch92- Mob
- C- Between the Lines #3 – Rowena vs Illiteracy (Read After Ch 30)
- Ch91- Break
- Ch90- Temple
- Ch89- Family First
- Ch88- House-Visit
- Ch87- Bloody Rosier
- Ch86- Points
- Ch85- Play
- Ch84- The Obstacle
- Ch83- Would He?
- Ch82- Ignivolatus
- Ch81- Say It!
- Ch80- Wraith
- Ch79- Murder Forest
- Ch78- Summon
- Ch77- Comfortable
- Ch76- Bond!
- Ch75- Dragon?
- Ch74- Secrets
- Ch73- Erase!
- Ch72- Memory
- Curse Logs #1 – Marius Vale (Read After Ch 28)
- Ch71- Thief
- Ch70- Mirror
- Between the Lines #3 – Regulus vs Lucius(Read After Ch 58)
- Ch69- Crushing Defeat
- Ch68- Chess
- Ch67- Snow
- Ch66- Game On
- Ch65- Soaked
- Between the Lines #2 – Gryffindor vs Ghost (Read After Ch 56)
- Ch64- Leviosaaa!
- Ch63- Troll
- Ch62- Flawed
- Between the Lines #1 – Slytherin vs Badger (Read After Ch 56)
- Ch61- Tribute
- Ch60- Punishment
- Ch59- Fly!
- Ch58- Daddy!
- Ch57- A DAMN PEN!
- Ch56- WHY?!
- Ch55- The Greatest Creation!
- Ch54- Revenge!
- Ch53- Secrets?
- Ch52- Measure of Deterrence
- Ch51- New Year
- Ch50- Potter
- Ch49- Yoghurt
- Ch48- Return
- Ch47- Master Ji
- Ch46- SMELLS LIKE… LIES!
- Ch45- Extra
- Ch44- Türkiye
- Ch43- Troublesome Runes
- Ch42- Eureka
- Ch41- Pungent
- Ch40- Hot!
- Ch39- Gravitas
- Ch38- Serious?
- Ch37- A Rosier
- Ch36- Not That Name!
- Ch35- Staff Meeting
- Ch34- Somewhere Else
- Ch33- Age Line
- Ch32- Coward!
- Spells and Ancient Varriants
- Ch31- Academic Liabilities
- Ch30- Founders
- Ch29- Soooo…
- Ch28- New Professor
- Ch27- Magical Contraception
- Ch26- Mind Magic
- Ch25- Brand
- Ch24- Fjords
- Ch23- Brain Drills
- Ch22- Almost A Proper One
- Ch21- Collapse
- Ch20- Ancient Cave
- Ch19- Family
- Ch18- Bloody Historians
- Ch17- Curse
- Ch16- Surviving the Year
- Ch15- Bathsheda Babbling
- Ch14- Aromic Bomb
- Ch13- Selena Rosier
- Ch12- Softening Charm
- Ch11- Unerasable History
- Ch10- Kitchen
- Ch9- The Witch!
- Ch8- First Lesson
- Ch7- New Year Begins
- Ch6- Professor Rosier
- Ch5- Lucian Rosier
- Ch4- Teacher?
- Ch3- Lumos
- Ch2- List
- Ch1- Useless. Failure. A Joke!
- Character Images