Chapter 238 238: Hem Hem
- Home
- Harry Potter and the Surprisingly Competent History of Magic Professor
- Chapter 238 238: Hem Hem
The prefect compartment rattled faintly as the train pushed along the tracks. Bags were wedged into corners. Half the room still looked unsure this wasn’t a mistake.
Hermione sat straight-backed near the window, talking to Padma. Neville was on her left, nodding along to everything they said. Opposite them, Anthony Goldstein was flipping a chocolate frog card between his fingers while Daphne glanced at the door every minute or so like she was hoping someone else might arrive and take over.
Ernest Macmillan adjusted his badge again.
Hannah gave him a small nudge. “It’s still facing the right way.”
“Just checking.”
Daphne didn’t bother hiding her sigh.
Theo Nott sat slouched beside her, one leg stretched too far. He hadn’t said anything since coming in. Not even when Neville awkwardly said hello. Just flicked his gaze around the room and went quiet again.
The door opened.
“Sorry!” Cedric stepped in, breathless from walking too fast down a moving train, Elora Dun just behind him, holding the schedule parchment. “Right, everyone’s here?”
They all turned to the door. Cho waving at Cedric. Earning herself a smile and a wave back.
“Great,” Cedric said, clapping his hands. “Sorry for the delay. Some third-years started hexing luggage two compartments down. Thought we might as well solve it before it turned into a full-on trunk duel.”
Elora gave a polite nod. “Welcome, everyone. Congratulations to the new prefects. If you’ve got questions, Cedric and I are here.”
Neville sat up straighter. Hermione already had a list out.
Elora gestured to the group. “For those of you who don’t know each other, Hermione and Neville from Gryffindor, Padma and Anthony from Ravenclaw, Daphne and Theo for Slytherin, Hannah and Ernest for Hufflepuff. Your schedules will be delivered at the feast, but we’ve got the patrol chart started already.”
Cedric picked up from there. “Two rounds each week, minimum. You’ll rotate houses every month.”
Elora pulled out a folded parchment and laid it across her knee. “We’ll get everyone paired off before dinner. Until then, keep an eye on first-years.”
Hermione scribbled something on her page. “Are we allowed to coordinate with house heads directly or should everything go through you two?”
“Both,” Elora said. “We don’t mind being notified.”
Cedric looked around the compartment. “You’ll each get copies of the rulebook, patrol shifts, incident forms, and owl stamps for emergencies. Try not to use them unless something’s actually on fire.”
Padma leaned over. “What counts as on fire?”
Theo said, deadpan, “The fire, probably.”
She gave him a look. “Helpful.”
Cedric rubbed his jaw. “If you’re unsure, use your badge to flag us or a teacher. If you forget your badge, shout. If you forget how to shout, write it down and throw it at someone.”
Anthony flipped his card again. “Do we get points if we hit a teacher?”
Elora didn’t look up from the schedule. “Negative points if it’s Professor Snape. Actual house-points if it’s Professor Rosier.”
Neville chuckled lightly.
“Right,” Cedric said, standing again. “For now, meet back here five minutes before arrival. Any problems, questions, code violations, or spontaneous corridor concerts, flag them then.”
Elora rolled the parchment back up. “And don’t lose the badges. You’ll have to write to Dumbledore personally for a new one. With reasons.”
Everyone looked vaguely alarmed.
Cedric smiled. “Welcome aboard.”
After the older prefects filed out, only the new ones remained, looking at each other.
Neville let out a sigh loud enough to draw a look from Padma. “Why was I even picked?”
Hermione gave his arm a pat, matter-of-fact. “You’re one of the youngest Patronus casters in the school, Neville. Top scores in Charms last term. And you beat me in Herbology, which still offends me.”
Daphne raised her eyebrows but nodded. Padma gave a small tilt of her head. Even Anthony looked vaguely annoyed.
Neville shifted in his seat, spine was finally remembering it existed.
“I saw Mr Black on the train,” Ernie said, half-turning in his seat. “Wonder if it’s related to what happens lately.”
Theo gave a slow nod. “He’s the new Defence professor.”
That shocked all of them. Ernie looked ready to faint. “You’re joking.”
Hannah blinked. “Seriously?”
“Yep.” Theo didn’t elaborate.
Hermione leaned forward slightly. “How do you know that?”
“I just do.”
That shut things up for a second.
Then Hannah asked, “So what about Professor Rosier? Is he coming back?”
The room went still.
Padma looked to Hermione. “You heard anything?”
“No,” Hermione said.
Theo sat up a bit. “He’s alive. I know that much.”
Anthony raised an eyebrow. “You sure?”
“Yeah.”
Neville frowned. “Is he… alright?”
No one answered that.
Daphne stared at the table. “He wouldn’t leave without saying a goodbye.”
Hermione sighed through her nose. “He didn’t do anything the normal way.”
Hannah’s knuckles were white against her knee. “Headmaster said he was a professor whether he had magic or not. I don’t think he’d leave us that easily.”
Nobody argued. Neville shifted in his seat. Padma rubbed a thumb along the edge of her schedule sheet.
“He used to teach with light and voice spells,” she said quietly. “All the time. Lecture halls lit up like theatres. Now that his magic’s gone…”
Hermione didn’t wait for her to finish. “He wouldn’t leave.”
She said it in a whisper. More to herself than others.
“I’m sure of it.”
Neville bit down on his lip. Hard. He kept chewing for a second, then straightened.
“I heard some rumours.”
Everyone looked his way.
Daphne turned her head. “What kind of rumours?”
Neville looked out the window. Trees flashing past. Sky dull with cloud.
“I was out with my gran,” he said. “We went north for the break. Magical woods. For rare roots. Herbs that only grow in magical places. That kind of thing.”
No one rushed him. They let him talk.
“We passed through five different forests. Every place we went, people said the same thing.”
He drew in a breath.
“Man and a dragon. Always walking. Didn’t stay long. Didn’t talk much either. Just… passed through.”
Padma frowned. “That could be anyone.”
Neville shook his head. “They say the man didn’t use a wand.”
Anthony stopped flipping his card.
Neville went on. “Said he talked to the animals. Birds. Badgers. Foxes. Trees too, sometimes. One bloke said he saw vines move when he passed. Like they listened.”
Daphne blinked slowly.
Hermione leaned forward. “What type of dragon?”
“Small. Crimson and black. Curled around his shoulders sometimes. Or just followed him. Some thought it was a chimera cub, but a squib at one of the old waystations said he knew dragons, it was small but it was definitely a dragon.”
No one spoke for a moment.
Padma’s voice was quiet. “You think it’s him?”
Neville shrugged. “I don’t know who else it would be.”
Hermione’s brow furrowed, but she didn’t argue.
Anthony stood up, stretched, and pocketed the frog card. “If it is Professor Rosier… does that mean he left?”
No one answered that.
They went to tend their business after that.
When the train finally screeched into Hogsmeade, it was raining sideways. Lightning tore open the sky and the wind dragged half a tree across the platform. Thunder rolled in close behind. Typical welcome.
Hagrid bellowed something about “first years” and started herding them toward the lake, coat flapping behind him. The rest were shoved toward the carriages, Prefects yelling over the storm, robes plastered to legs, luggage nearly sailing off into the trees. No one looked particularly triumphant about being back.
Inside the castle, the Great Hall glowed warm and golden. Candles floated high overhead, the ceiling rumbling. The first years filed in looking like they’d barely survived a shipwreck. Everyone else followed, soaked, cranky, a few of them steaming slightly from rain meeting drying charms.
People were scanning the staff table already.
There was Sirius Black, elbow on the armrest, grinning wide. He gave a nod to the Gryffindor table.
But that wasn’t what had everyone murmuring.
Where Cassian should’ve been sat was a woman in pink.
Head to toe. Pale, bubblegum pink. She sat very straight, hands folded, smile too wide.
Silence rolled through the hall.
When Dumbledore stood, it snapped attention back.
“Welcome back,” he said, lifting his hands. “To both the old faces and the new. I hope your summers were restful, or at least survivable. We begin a new term together, and as ever, I trust you’ll bring your curiosity, your courage, and a healthy respect for the staff’s rapidly fraying patience.”
Scattered laughter.
Dumbledore went on, “I would like to introduce a new addition to our faculty this year. Please welcome Sirius Black, who will be taking over as our Defence Against the Dark Arts professor.”
Sirius kicked back in his chair and flashed the Great Hall wide grin.
“Evening, students,” he said, a bit too loud.
He tugged his sleeve like it might make him look more professional. It didn’t.
“For those of you squinting and whispering ‘is that Sirius Black?’ Yes, it is, I.”
A few students laughed. McGonagall’s fingers twitched.
“I’ve been asked, rather reluctantly, I suspect, to teach you Defence Against the Dark Arts this year. Which means I’ll be in charge of making sure none of you get turned into puddings, pincushions, or dark artefact magnets.
“I come highly recommended. My qualifications include surviving Azkaban, being framed for murder, not dying in a cave full of Dementors, and being more fun than the last five Defence professors put together. Which, frankly, isn’t a high bar. And yes, including Remus.”
A Ravenclaw muttered something. Sirius smirked.
“I also happen to be the proud owner of a dragon-baiting scar I will absolutely show you if you’re annoying enough.”
He scratched his chin thoughtfully. “You can call me Professor Black. Or Sirius. Or Sir. Or, if you’re in trouble, probably just ‘please don’t give me detention.'”
He grinned wider.
“Sirius Orion Black, at your service.”
Then he held up a hand and added, “This year… will be a great SOB story.”
Groans. Applause. A few confused first-years.
Sirius sat back down, satisfied.
Dumbledore didn’t even blink. McGonagall pinched the bridge of her nose.
Dumbledore raised his goblet. “Now-“
“Hem hem.”
The woman in pink shifted in her seat. That same smile still plastered on.
Dumbledore didn’t react at first. Then, slowly, he turned. “Miss Umbridge.”
She adjusted her cuffs. “Headmaster, I believe a second introduction is in order.”
“I see.” He studied her a moment. “How would you prefer I introduce you?”
She gave a sniff. “As the new History of Magic professor, of course.”
Gasps scattered through the room.
Sirius raised an eyebrow. Sprout’s mouth pressed into a line. The Weasley twins were already halfway into burning the tablecloth.
Dumbledore didn’t blink. “That’s curious. Professor Rosier has not resigned.”
Her smile faltered.
“And as Hogwarts does not tend to stack professors on a single subject, I’m afraid we have no vacancy there,” Dumbledore continued. “Should Professor Rosier choose to take a sabbatical, Professor Binns has already expressed interest in returning to his previous post.”
Umbridge’s mouth twitched. “Hem hem. The Ministry is concerned, Headmaster. Professor Rosier has, over the past few years, clearly established that Professor Binns’s curriculum was… insufficient. Outdated. Lacking in rigour.”
Her gaze flicked down the table. “And as Professor Rosier has yet to appear, the Minister felt it prudent I arrive early. Just in case.”
No one spoke.
Somewhere in the middle of the hall, a fork hit a plate.
Dumbledore looked at her for a long moment.
Just as he was about to say something, the ceiling cracked with lightning. It was so bright, it was as if someone cast a Lumos. Half the Hall flinched. Students shielded their eyes. Plates clattered as a gust swept through the room, hot and dry.
Then came the sound.
A split-second after the light, thunder cracked so loud it rattled teeth. Someone near the Ravenclaw table yelped.
The main doors groaned. Then slammed open.
Every head turned.
A figure stood there, framed in the lightning.
“Sorry I’m late,” he said. “Got caught talking to a tree.”
Dumbledore’s eyes crinkled. “I hope it was a fruitful discussion.”
“Oh, it was. Real groundbreaking stuff.”
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Chapters
- Chapter 320 320: Like a Butterfly
- Chapter 319 319: Three Patronuses
- Chapter 318 318: Storm
- Chapter 317 317: Festive!
- Chapter 316 316: Change the World
- Chapter 315 315: Age of the Fine Bronze
- Chapter 314 314: Valley of Magic
- Chapter 313
- Chapter 312
- Chapter 311 311: Students vs Professors
- Chapter 310 310: Sword
- Chapter 309 309: Ashfal
- Chapter 308 308: Plague
- Chapter 307 307: Open Class
- Chapter 306 306: Double Wedding
- Chapter 305 305: Separation
- Chapter 304 304: Veil
- Chapter 303 303: Plans!
- Chapter 302 302: Gamble
- Chapter 301 301: Offer!
- Chapter 300 300: Bathael
- Chapter 299 299: Miracle
- Chapter 298 298: Death
- Chapter 297 297: Elder Wand
- Chapter 296 296: Sigh!
- Chapter 295 295: Lilies and Memories
- Chapter 294 294: Rage
- Chapter 293 293: Bark
- Chapter 292 292: Purge
- Chapter 291 291: Portal
- Chapter 290 290: Date!
- Chapter 289 289: Cabinet
- Chapter 288 288: It's a Date!
- Chapter 287 287: Space
- Chapter 286 286: Renunciation
- Chapter 285 285: Apparition
- Chapter 284 284: Revelio!
- Chapter 283 283: Staff
- Chapter 282 282: Goblins
- Chapter 281 281: Vault
- Chapter 280 280: Luck!
- Chapter 279 279: Moonspit and Romance
- Chapter 278 278: Cloak
- Chapter 277 277: Blood Curse and Talents
- Chapter 276 276: Amortal
- Chapter 275 275: Locket
- Chapter 274 274: WWW
- Chapter 273 273: Evil
- Chapter 272 272: Souls
- Chapter 271 271: Acclaim
- Chapter 270 270: Same Old Dread
- Chapter 269 269: Home
- Chapter 268 268: Curse and Worse
- Chapter 267 267: Self-Fulfilling
- Chapter 266 266: Child Soldier
- Chapter 265 265: Fury
- Chapter 264 264: Surprise!
- Chapter 263 263: Fight!
- Chapter 262 262: Hate
- Chapter 261 261: Family Reunion
- Chapter 260 260: Traitor
- Chapter 259 259: He'll Die!
- Chapter 258 258: The Real Dark Lord
- Chapter 257 257: Cheat
- Chapter 256 256: Exams
- Chapter 255 255: Career Advice
- Chapter 254 254: Prophecies
- Chapter 253 253: Shell
- Chapter 252 252: Drunk Phoenix
- Chapter 251 251: Choice
- Chapter 250 250: Winky
- Chapter 249 249: Wardnet
- Chapter 248 248: Past, Present and Future
- Chapter 247 247: Collection
- Chapter 246 246: Giant
- Chapter 245 245: Fire Eaters
- Chapter 244 244: Worry
- Chapter 243 243: Teacher
- Chapter 242 242: Tree
- Chapter 241 241: Duel!
- Chapter 240 240: Magic-tech?
- Chapter 239 239: CCL
- Chapter 238 238: Hem Hem
- Chapter 237 237: Insane!
- Chapter 236 236: Power the Dark Lord Knows Not
- Chapter 235 235: Proud
- Chapter 234 234: Drained
- Chapter 233 233: Compensate
- Chapter 232 232: Ritual
- Chapter 231 231: Portkey
- Chapter 230 230: Maze
- Chapter 229 229: Alive!
- Chapter 228 228: Targeted Teaching
- Chapter 227 227: Dread
- Chapter 226 226: Law
- Chapter 225 225: Second Task!
- Chapter 224 224: Justified Rage
- Chapter 223 223: Sick
- Chapter 222 222: Love Potion
- Chapter 221 221: Muffin
- Chapter 220 220: Double Date
- Chapter 219 219: DRAGONS!
- Chapter 218 218: Balls
- Chapter 217 217: Ancient Variant of an Ancient Variant?
- Chapter 216 216: The Tragic Courtship Display of the British Adolescent
- Chapter 215 215: First Task
- Chapter 214 214: Contract
- Chapter 213 213: Spy
- Chapter 212 212: Four Seasons
- Chapter 211 211: Napkin Tournaments
- Chapter 210 210: Champions!
- Chapter 209 209: Worth!
- Chapter 208 208: Guests!
- Chapter 207 207: Accio My Beloved!
- Chapter 206 206: H.E.A.R.T.
- Chapter 205 205: Shield
- Chapter 204 204: Acclimation
- Chapter 203 203: Hexing Students
- Chapter 202 202: Simple
- Chapter 201 201: Intent
- Chapter 200 200: Quintic-Magick Cup
- Chapter 199 199: The Bug!
- Chapter 198 198: Attack!
- Chapter 197 197: Warning!
- Chapter 196 196: Pet
- Chapter 195 195: Unwelcomed
- Chapter 194 194: Dread
- Chapter 193 193: Djinn
- Chapter 192 192: Wake and Heed My Command
- Chapter 191 191: Monsters!
- Chapter 190 190: Awake
- Chapter 189 189: Force
- Chapter 188 188: Politics
- Chapter 187 187: Without You!
- Chapter 186 186: Avada
- Chapter 185 185: Smile!
- Chapter 184 184: Immune
- Chapter 183 183: Freeze!
- Chapter 182 182: A Fool's Chronicles - It's April! Part 2 (Read After Ch170)
- Chapter 181 181: Moon
- A Fool’s Chronicles – It’s April! Part 2 (Read After Ch170)
- Chapter 180 180: Always
- Chapter 179 179: Ominous
- Chapter 178 178: A Fool's Chronicles - It's April! Part 1 (Read After Ch170)
- A Fool’s Chronicles – It’s April! Part 1 (Read After Ch170)
- Chapter 177 177: Rat
- Chapter 176 176: Love
- Chapter 175 175: Serious Howl
- Chapter 174 174: MWPP
- Chapter 173 173: Map
- Chapter 172 172: Patronus
- Chapter 171 171: Grim
- Chapter 170 170: Chimera
- Chapter 169 169: Cushions
- Chapter 168 168: Duel?
- Chapter 167 167: Praise
- Chapter 166 166: Headmasters
- Chapter 165 165: Forced!
- Chapter 164 164: Liar!
- Chapter 163 163: Druid
- Chapter 162 162: No
- Chapter 161 161: Damn You, Sirius Black!
- Chapter 160 160: Dementors!
- Chapter 159 159: Fear
- Chapter 158 158: Logic
- Chapter 157 157: Rewind!
- Chapter 156 156: Boggart
- Chapter 155 155: Cookie?
- Chapter 154 154: Crack
- Chapter 153 153: Mouse
- Chapter 152 152: Siriusly?
- Chapter 151 151: Foam
- Chapter 150 150: Events
- Chapter 149 149: Alternate Reality
- Chapter 148 148: Footpath
- Chapter 147 147: Ngaralu
- Chapter 146 146: Call!
- Chapter 145 145: Noctis
- Chapter 144 144: Summer
- Chapter 143 143: Power
- Chapter 142 142: Thief's Chronicle I - The Burden (Read After -Rowena vs Illiteracy-)
- Chapter 141 141: Dismissed
- Thief’s Chronicle I – The Burden (Read After -Rowena vs Illiteracy-)
- Chapter 140 140: Memory Wipe!
- Chapter 139 139: Dark
- Chapter 138 138: Riddle!
- Chapter 137 137: Chamber
- Chapter 136 136: Sacked
- Chapter 135 135: Creed
- Chapter 134 134: Valentine's
- Chapter 133 133: Ash
- Chapter 132 132: Favours
- Ch131- Sacked
- Ch130- Creed
- Ch129- Valentine’s
- Ch128- Ash
- Ch127- Favours
- Ch126- Spectacle-s
- Ch125- Shot!
- Ch124- Lost
- Ch123- Yule
- Ch122- Clue!
- Ch121- Parselmouth
- Ch120- Duel
- Ch119- Joy
- Ch118- Decision!
- Ch117- Blah Blah Law
- Ch116- Crack
- Ch115- Confess
- Ch114- Especially!
- Ch113- Rogue
- Ch112- Bird is the Word!
- Ch111- Parents
- Ch110- Damn You Lucius!
- Ch109- NO!
- Ch108- Daisy
- Ch107- Trust Me Bro, Click the Link
- Ch106- Hello, World!
- Ch105- Bad Decisions!
- Ch104- Wand!
- Ch103- Star!
- Ch102- Dragon Wakes!
- Ch101- Shrine
- Ch100- Meeting
- Ch99- Punch
- Ch98- Invest All!
- Ch97- Gate
- Ch96- Never Forget!
- Ch95- Forget!
- Ch94- Immortal Couple
- Ch93- Curse or Gift
- Ch92- Mob
- C- Between the Lines #3 – Rowena vs Illiteracy (Read After Ch 30)
- Ch91- Break
- Ch90- Temple
- Ch89- Family First
- Ch88- House-Visit
- Ch87- Bloody Rosier
- Ch86- Points
- Ch85- Play
- Ch84- The Obstacle
- Ch83- Would He?
- Ch82- Ignivolatus
- Ch81- Say It!
- Ch80- Wraith
- Ch79- Murder Forest
- Ch78- Summon
- Ch77- Comfortable
- Ch76- Bond!
- Ch75- Dragon?
- Ch74- Secrets
- Ch73- Erase!
- Ch72- Memory
- Curse Logs #1 – Marius Vale (Read After Ch 28)
- Ch71- Thief
- Ch70- Mirror
- Between the Lines #3 – Regulus vs Lucius(Read After Ch 58)
- Ch69- Crushing Defeat
- Ch68- Chess
- Ch67- Snow
- Ch66- Game On
- Ch65- Soaked
- Between the Lines #2 – Gryffindor vs Ghost (Read After Ch 56)
- Ch64- Leviosaaa!
- Ch63- Troll
- Ch62- Flawed
- Between the Lines #1 – Slytherin vs Badger (Read After Ch 56)
- Ch61- Tribute
- Ch60- Punishment
- Ch59- Fly!
- Ch58- Daddy!
- Ch57- A DAMN PEN!
- Ch56- WHY?!
- Ch55- The Greatest Creation!
- Ch54- Revenge!
- Ch53- Secrets?
- Ch52- Measure of Deterrence
- Ch51- New Year
- Ch50- Potter
- Ch49- Yoghurt
- Ch48- Return
- Ch47- Master Ji
- Ch46- SMELLS LIKE… LIES!
- Ch45- Extra
- Ch44- Türkiye
- Ch43- Troublesome Runes
- Ch42- Eureka
- Ch41- Pungent
- Ch40- Hot!
- Ch39- Gravitas
- Ch38- Serious?
- Ch37- A Rosier
- Ch36- Not That Name!
- Ch35- Staff Meeting
- Ch34- Somewhere Else
- Ch33- Age Line
- Ch32- Coward!
- Spells and Ancient Varriants
- Ch31- Academic Liabilities
- Ch30- Founders
- Ch29- Soooo…
- Ch28- New Professor
- Ch27- Magical Contraception
- Ch26- Mind Magic
- Ch25- Brand
- Ch24- Fjords
- Ch23- Brain Drills
- Ch22- Almost A Proper One
- Ch21- Collapse
- Ch20- Ancient Cave
- Ch19- Family
- Ch18- Bloody Historians
- Ch17- Curse
- Ch16- Surviving the Year
- Ch15- Bathsheda Babbling
- Ch14- Aromic Bomb
- Ch13- Selena Rosier
- Ch12- Softening Charm
- Ch11- Unerasable History
- Ch10- Kitchen
- Ch9- The Witch!
- Ch8- First Lesson
- Ch7- New Year Begins
- Ch6- Professor Rosier
- Ch5- Lucian Rosier
- Ch4- Teacher?
- Ch3- Lumos
- Ch2- List
- Ch1- Useless. Failure. A Joke!
- Character Images