Chapter 269 269: Home
- Home
- Harry Potter and the Surprisingly Competent History of Magic Professor
- Chapter 269 269: Home
Fred kicked the office door open with all the flair of someone who’d just robbed a vault and wanted applause for it. George followed, practically bouncing. Both dropped their N.E.W.T. result parchments onto Cassian’s desk as if they were laying down royal decrees.
Cassian raised a brow, picked up the nearest scroll, and started skimming.
“Transfiguration – Outstanding. Potions – O. Runes – O. Charms – O. History – O. The rest are either Os or E.E.s…” He paused. “Well. Look at that. You’ve both turned in actual academic performance.”
Fred puffed out his chest. George grinned wide.
Cassian tapped the edge of the parchment against the desk. “Alright. Per our stupidly specific contract, two shops.”
The twins whooped in unison, loud, ungodly, and utterly shameless. Fred launched into a wild stomp that might’ve been a dance or a seizure. George joined him, arms flailing overhead like he was summoning ancient spirits of capitalism.
“Two shops!” Fred yelled.
“Two bloody shops!” George echoed, spinning in a circle.
They slapped the floor, clapped, and chanted something that suspiciously resembled “Hustle and Hexes,” all while Cassian stared at them, deadpan.
“Are you done?” he asked.
Fred dropped into a crouch, breathless. “We’re entrepreneurs, sir.”
Cassian snorted. “Yeah, yeah. Name your spots.”
The twins didn’t even pretend to think about it.
“Diagon Alley,” Fred said.
“Hogsmeade,” George added, nearly tripping over his brother’s words.
Cassian nodded. “Figured. One’s a foot traffic goldmine, the other’s a Hogwarts adjacent.”
They looked smug. Cassian ruined it in half a sentence.
“The problem is, Hogsmeade’s dead in summer.”
The twins froze mid-celebration. “What?”
George frowned. “But it’s close.”
“And mostly empty,” Cassian said. “You’re heading into a three month break. Students won’t be around. Locals will either ignore you, out-snark you, or try to report you to the council for selling prank dust disguised as skincare. That’s three months of you losing money and man power to earn pocket change.”
Fred scratched the back of his head. George frowned.
Cassian folded his arms. “You want a second shop, pick somewhere better. Smart, not sentimental. If your business works, which I believe it will, you’ll have enough to open one in Hogsmeade on your own by the end of summer.”
Fred glanced at George. George raised his brows.
“That makes sense,” Fred said slowly.
George nodded. “Yeah. Hate it when it does.”
Cassian shrugged. “Your call. But you’ve got one guaranteed spot. Don’t waste the second one trying to sell puking pastilles to a village full of pensioners.”
They went quiet. Thinking.
Cassian picked up a pen and twirled it lazily.
“Let me know before the week’s out,” he added. “I’ve got two permits ready to file. Pick something bold for the second. Or don’t. I’ll keep the funds in escrow and enjoy watching you argue about it.”
The twins exchanged a look.
Fred leaned in. “…What about Knockturn?”
Cassian blinked. “You trying to get stabbed, or just fancy it?”
George pointed at Fred. “He’s got a pitch.”
Fred smirked. “It’s not a front. It’s a back door.”
Cassian held up a hand. “If you’re about to say ‘sells legitimate goods with illicit packaging,’ I’m going to bury you under contract law.”
Fred mimed zipping his mouth.
George looked thoughtful. “Maybe Bristol, then. Gets enough foot traffic. Weird enough crowd.”
Cassian raised a brow. “Now we’re talking.”
They broke into twin grins again.
Then Fred asked, “Do we get to name it?”
Cassian didn’t look up. “If you don’t, I will. And I swear, I’ll call it Bang & Sons: Purveyors of Magical Regret.”
George immediately shouted, “Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes.”
Fred threw both hands up. “That’s the one.”
Cassian nodded. “Good. You picked the non-humiliating option. That’s growth.”
They beamed.
“Thanks, Professor R,” Fred said.
George gave a salute. “You’re still our favourite war criminal.”
Cassian rolled his eyes. “Get out before I change my mind.”
They left laughing. Cassian turned back to the scrolls, muttering, “Gods help whoever shares a wall with them.”
***
Steam curled lazily along the platform as the last of the students spilled out of the Hogwarts Express. Harry adjusted his trunk with one hand, Hedwig’s cage in the other, still half caught in that strange, heavy feeling of leaving the year behind.
Beside him, Sirius stretched like a man who had been cooped up far too long, grinning at the open sky beyond the station.
They walked a few steps before Harry slowed, a thought crashing into him with sudden dread.
“Your car?” he asked, voice tightening. “I previously didn’t think since I thought you were just taking me to the train, but it was sitting there all year!”
Sirius waved a hand dismissively, not even breaking stride. “Hogwarts has existed for a thousand years. Do you think we thought of adding a platform for our train and not one for our carts? Well, at least they were for carts at the beginning. Now almost no one uses it.”
Harry stopped dead. “There is free parking… just for Magicks?” he said, staring.
Sirius turned back, his grin widening. “Of course. Come on. I got some new songs with banger basses.”
Harry froze.
A very specific, very recent memory surfaced, of Sirius discovering Muggle music and deciding volume was a suggestion, not a rule.
Oh no.
He forgot that.
***
Cassian and Bathsheda left the school late, hand in hand. They didn’t go back to Diagon Alley. That place was cramped, loud, and one screaming kettle away from structural collapse. And the Rosier manor was out. Officially. He hadn’t set foot in it since the trial. Even Regulus had stopped asking. Which was probably wise, all things considered.
They took the Portkey to Ireland. West coast, edge of a forest that didn’t have a name on the public map. He’d bought the entire place a few months ago. Cash, no title games, no ancestral nonsense. No one could argue ownership if you controlled the land under the wardstone.
It was quiet. Cold in the mornings, dense with fog. The kind of place you couldn’t hear the rest of the world from.
Cassian liked that.
They passed the stone marker and the wards peeled back. The path opened into the clearing, their house rising from the slope like it had been waiting for them to notice it. He’d kept it simple, two floors, wide balcony, no servants, no family crest burned into the lintel.
Home.
Bathsheda dropped her bag by the door and stepped out of her boots. They stood side by side and watched the trees breathe.
It had been a long year.
Back when things were cleaner, or at least quieter, he might’ve stayed in Rosier manor for the sake of convenience. Now he didn’t trust it. Not after what Dumbledore did. And not when the rest of the family looked at him like a walking liability. He knew too much. They wouldn’t kill him for it, not directly. But someone would try to shut him up if it ever looked like he might talk.
So, no. He didn’t need the family estate. Or their wine. Or the fake congratulations they offered when Lucian got dragged out in shackles.
He had better things to do.
Like blocking half the Sacred Twenty-Eight from ransacking the Malfoy and others’ vaults.
That part had been impressive in a grim sort of way. Lucius was barely through processing, Selwyns still bleeding arrogance in the holding cells, and already the vultures had started circling. Land claims, bond disputes, ancestral debts suddenly dug up and waved like receipts.
Cassian’s lawyers tore through them.
Three departments. Eight solicitors. He hadn’t even waited for Dumbledore to weigh in. The kids were still underage on paper, but they had their O.W.L.s. That was enough. He used his vault ties, filed the right motions, pulled favours from a few names with grudges against the nobles. The paperwork hit the Ministry before the second estate claim could land.
By the time anyone realised what was happening, Draco and the others were legally emancipated. Fully independent. Those vultures couldn’t touch their assets anymore.
Cassian had made sure of it.
He tied the ownership documents straight to enchanted contracts, keyed through Gringotts, backed by a Ministry seal and three layers of ward signatures. Even the Goblins respected the work. It was that ironclad. These people still played word-games with him, not knowing even a Djinn lost to him.
Nobody tried again after that.
Dumbledore already had enough sins on his plate for using those kids in the first place. The least Cassian could do was stop the sharks from finishing the job.
Bathsheda leaned on the railing beside him, her hand slipping into his.
“Feels weird,” she said.
“What does?”
She watched the mist drift between the trees. “Winning.”
Cassian let out a breath through his nose. “Did we?”
She glanced at him. “You got Voldemort thrown halfway across the continent. Took down half the Death Eater ranks. Got a Minister out. Saved a prophecy. And gave those kids a shot at something better.”
“Yeah,” he said. “But I still don’t have a kettle that works properly.”
She smirked.
“Suppose we’ll just have to rough it,” she said.
He nudged her shoulder with his. “We’ll survive. I’ve got a shed full of cursed cauldrons. One of them must boil water eventually.”
She huffed and slumped into his chest. Cassian tipped his head onto hers, eyes drifting out over the clearing. The mist had pulled back a little, leaving the grass slick and the trees sharp in silhouette.
It wasn’t much yet, some trees, some rocks, a bit of uneven ground and a crooked fence at the edge, but it was theirs. The whole bloody thing. Every metre of wild, mist-choked land.
Eventually, he’d bring in some creatures. Hagrid already offered to help with some legal, some… less so. He looked practically misty-eyed at the idea. Sprout had half a plan to get the soil prepped by September. Neville and Daphne had new powers to get a grip on, and this was the safest place to do it. One day, if they played it right, it could be another haven. A second Flamel House, minus the eccentric alchemy and awkward goat.
He grinned into her hair. “Only thing missing’s ten little monsters legging it about.”
She choked on air. “Ten? What d’you think I am, livestock?”
He chuckled. “No. You’re my lovely wife.”
Before she could argue, he swept her up and tossed her over his shoulder.
She yelped, thumped his back, kicked once. “Put me down!”
He kept walking. “Nah. You’re mine now. I caught you fair and square.”
She kept pounding on him, though it was more ceremonial than serious. “We’re adding contraception wards. That’s final.”
He gasped. “Blasphemy! We’re having a clan!”
“You’re having a back injury if you don’t put me down.”
He bumped the door open with a hip. “Worth it.”
She kept arguing all the way into the kitchen. He dumped her onto a chair with all the grace of someone setting down a full sack of potatoes, then spun to grab the kettle. The useless one, of course. It clicked twice and gave up. He sighed and warmed the water with a lazy Warming Charm, then poured two mugs, setting one down in front of her.
“Truce?” he asked.
She took the mug, sipped, then looked up.
“Two,” she said. “That’s my limit. Children, I mean.”
He leaned against the counter. “We’ll negotiate. I’ll start at ten, you start at two, and we’ll settle at seven.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Three.”
“Four and a half.”
She pointed her spoon at him. “What’s the half?”
“Tiny one with a bad attitude. Just like you.”
She threw a napkin at his face.
He didn’t dodge. Just sipped his tea, watching her with a grin.
Eventually, she leaned back, mug balanced on her knee.
The wind outside curled round the windows.
The End
(Joking)
(Check Here)
-Master, the spell worked. Everyone read it!
-Wonderful. And the response?
-They stared.
-…Ah.
—
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Chapters
- Chapter 320 320: Like a Butterfly
- Chapter 319 319: Three Patronuses
- Chapter 318 318: Storm
- Chapter 317 317: Festive!
- Chapter 316 316: Change the World
- Chapter 315 315: Age of the Fine Bronze
- Chapter 314 314: Valley of Magic
- Chapter 313
- Chapter 312
- Chapter 311 311: Students vs Professors
- Chapter 310 310: Sword
- Chapter 309 309: Ashfal
- Chapter 308 308: Plague
- Chapter 307 307: Open Class
- Chapter 306 306: Double Wedding
- Chapter 305 305: Separation
- Chapter 304 304: Veil
- Chapter 303 303: Plans!
- Chapter 302 302: Gamble
- Chapter 301 301: Offer!
- Chapter 300 300: Bathael
- Chapter 299 299: Miracle
- Chapter 298 298: Death
- Chapter 297 297: Elder Wand
- Chapter 296 296: Sigh!
- Chapter 295 295: Lilies and Memories
- Chapter 294 294: Rage
- Chapter 293 293: Bark
- Chapter 292 292: Purge
- Chapter 291 291: Portal
- Chapter 290 290: Date!
- Chapter 289 289: Cabinet
- Chapter 288 288: It's a Date!
- Chapter 287 287: Space
- Chapter 286 286: Renunciation
- Chapter 285 285: Apparition
- Chapter 284 284: Revelio!
- Chapter 283 283: Staff
- Chapter 282 282: Goblins
- Chapter 281 281: Vault
- Chapter 280 280: Luck!
- Chapter 279 279: Moonspit and Romance
- Chapter 278 278: Cloak
- Chapter 277 277: Blood Curse and Talents
- Chapter 276 276: Amortal
- Chapter 275 275: Locket
- Chapter 274 274: WWW
- Chapter 273 273: Evil
- Chapter 272 272: Souls
- Chapter 271 271: Acclaim
- Chapter 270 270: Same Old Dread
- Chapter 269 269: Home
- Chapter 268 268: Curse and Worse
- Chapter 267 267: Self-Fulfilling
- Chapter 266 266: Child Soldier
- Chapter 265 265: Fury
- Chapter 264 264: Surprise!
- Chapter 263 263: Fight!
- Chapter 262 262: Hate
- Chapter 261 261: Family Reunion
- Chapter 260 260: Traitor
- Chapter 259 259: He'll Die!
- Chapter 258 258: The Real Dark Lord
- Chapter 257 257: Cheat
- Chapter 256 256: Exams
- Chapter 255 255: Career Advice
- Chapter 254 254: Prophecies
- Chapter 253 253: Shell
- Chapter 252 252: Drunk Phoenix
- Chapter 251 251: Choice
- Chapter 250 250: Winky
- Chapter 249 249: Wardnet
- Chapter 248 248: Past, Present and Future
- Chapter 247 247: Collection
- Chapter 246 246: Giant
- Chapter 245 245: Fire Eaters
- Chapter 244 244: Worry
- Chapter 243 243: Teacher
- Chapter 242 242: Tree
- Chapter 241 241: Duel!
- Chapter 240 240: Magic-tech?
- Chapter 239 239: CCL
- Chapter 238 238: Hem Hem
- Chapter 237 237: Insane!
- Chapter 236 236: Power the Dark Lord Knows Not
- Chapter 235 235: Proud
- Chapter 234 234: Drained
- Chapter 233 233: Compensate
- Chapter 232 232: Ritual
- Chapter 231 231: Portkey
- Chapter 230 230: Maze
- Chapter 229 229: Alive!
- Chapter 228 228: Targeted Teaching
- Chapter 227 227: Dread
- Chapter 226 226: Law
- Chapter 225 225: Second Task!
- Chapter 224 224: Justified Rage
- Chapter 223 223: Sick
- Chapter 222 222: Love Potion
- Chapter 221 221: Muffin
- Chapter 220 220: Double Date
- Chapter 219 219: DRAGONS!
- Chapter 218 218: Balls
- Chapter 217 217: Ancient Variant of an Ancient Variant?
- Chapter 216 216: The Tragic Courtship Display of the British Adolescent
- Chapter 215 215: First Task
- Chapter 214 214: Contract
- Chapter 213 213: Spy
- Chapter 212 212: Four Seasons
- Chapter 211 211: Napkin Tournaments
- Chapter 210 210: Champions!
- Chapter 209 209: Worth!
- Chapter 208 208: Guests!
- Chapter 207 207: Accio My Beloved!
- Chapter 206 206: H.E.A.R.T.
- Chapter 205 205: Shield
- Chapter 204 204: Acclimation
- Chapter 203 203: Hexing Students
- Chapter 202 202: Simple
- Chapter 201 201: Intent
- Chapter 200 200: Quintic-Magick Cup
- Chapter 199 199: The Bug!
- Chapter 198 198: Attack!
- Chapter 197 197: Warning!
- Chapter 196 196: Pet
- Chapter 195 195: Unwelcomed
- Chapter 194 194: Dread
- Chapter 193 193: Djinn
- Chapter 192 192: Wake and Heed My Command
- Chapter 191 191: Monsters!
- Chapter 190 190: Awake
- Chapter 189 189: Force
- Chapter 188 188: Politics
- Chapter 187 187: Without You!
- Chapter 186 186: Avada
- Chapter 185 185: Smile!
- Chapter 184 184: Immune
- Chapter 183 183: Freeze!
- Chapter 182 182: A Fool's Chronicles - It's April! Part 2 (Read After Ch170)
- Chapter 181 181: Moon
- A Fool’s Chronicles – It’s April! Part 2 (Read After Ch170)
- Chapter 180 180: Always
- Chapter 179 179: Ominous
- Chapter 178 178: A Fool's Chronicles - It's April! Part 1 (Read After Ch170)
- A Fool’s Chronicles – It’s April! Part 1 (Read After Ch170)
- Chapter 177 177: Rat
- Chapter 176 176: Love
- Chapter 175 175: Serious Howl
- Chapter 174 174: MWPP
- Chapter 173 173: Map
- Chapter 172 172: Patronus
- Chapter 171 171: Grim
- Chapter 170 170: Chimera
- Chapter 169 169: Cushions
- Chapter 168 168: Duel?
- Chapter 167 167: Praise
- Chapter 166 166: Headmasters
- Chapter 165 165: Forced!
- Chapter 164 164: Liar!
- Chapter 163 163: Druid
- Chapter 162 162: No
- Chapter 161 161: Damn You, Sirius Black!
- Chapter 160 160: Dementors!
- Chapter 159 159: Fear
- Chapter 158 158: Logic
- Chapter 157 157: Rewind!
- Chapter 156 156: Boggart
- Chapter 155 155: Cookie?
- Chapter 154 154: Crack
- Chapter 153 153: Mouse
- Chapter 152 152: Siriusly?
- Chapter 151 151: Foam
- Chapter 150 150: Events
- Chapter 149 149: Alternate Reality
- Chapter 148 148: Footpath
- Chapter 147 147: Ngaralu
- Chapter 146 146: Call!
- Chapter 145 145: Noctis
- Chapter 144 144: Summer
- Chapter 143 143: Power
- Chapter 142 142: Thief's Chronicle I - The Burden (Read After -Rowena vs Illiteracy-)
- Chapter 141 141: Dismissed
- Thief’s Chronicle I – The Burden (Read After -Rowena vs Illiteracy-)
- Chapter 140 140: Memory Wipe!
- Chapter 139 139: Dark
- Chapter 138 138: Riddle!
- Chapter 137 137: Chamber
- Chapter 136 136: Sacked
- Chapter 135 135: Creed
- Chapter 134 134: Valentine's
- Chapter 133 133: Ash
- Chapter 132 132: Favours
- Ch131- Sacked
- Ch130- Creed
- Ch129- Valentine’s
- Ch128- Ash
- Ch127- Favours
- Ch126- Spectacle-s
- Ch125- Shot!
- Ch124- Lost
- Ch123- Yule
- Ch122- Clue!
- Ch121- Parselmouth
- Ch120- Duel
- Ch119- Joy
- Ch118- Decision!
- Ch117- Blah Blah Law
- Ch116- Crack
- Ch115- Confess
- Ch114- Especially!
- Ch113- Rogue
- Ch112- Bird is the Word!
- Ch111- Parents
- Ch110- Damn You Lucius!
- Ch109- NO!
- Ch108- Daisy
- Ch107- Trust Me Bro, Click the Link
- Ch106- Hello, World!
- Ch105- Bad Decisions!
- Ch104- Wand!
- Ch103- Star!
- Ch102- Dragon Wakes!
- Ch101- Shrine
- Ch100- Meeting
- Ch99- Punch
- Ch98- Invest All!
- Ch97- Gate
- Ch96- Never Forget!
- Ch95- Forget!
- Ch94- Immortal Couple
- Ch93- Curse or Gift
- Ch92- Mob
- C- Between the Lines #3 – Rowena vs Illiteracy (Read After Ch 30)
- Ch91- Break
- Ch90- Temple
- Ch89- Family First
- Ch88- House-Visit
- Ch87- Bloody Rosier
- Ch86- Points
- Ch85- Play
- Ch84- The Obstacle
- Ch83- Would He?
- Ch82- Ignivolatus
- Ch81- Say It!
- Ch80- Wraith
- Ch79- Murder Forest
- Ch78- Summon
- Ch77- Comfortable
- Ch76- Bond!
- Ch75- Dragon?
- Ch74- Secrets
- Ch73- Erase!
- Ch72- Memory
- Curse Logs #1 – Marius Vale (Read After Ch 28)
- Ch71- Thief
- Ch70- Mirror
- Between the Lines #3 – Regulus vs Lucius(Read After Ch 58)
- Ch69- Crushing Defeat
- Ch68- Chess
- Ch67- Snow
- Ch66- Game On
- Ch65- Soaked
- Between the Lines #2 – Gryffindor vs Ghost (Read After Ch 56)
- Ch64- Leviosaaa!
- Ch63- Troll
- Ch62- Flawed
- Between the Lines #1 – Slytherin vs Badger (Read After Ch 56)
- Ch61- Tribute
- Ch60- Punishment
- Ch59- Fly!
- Ch58- Daddy!
- Ch57- A DAMN PEN!
- Ch56- WHY?!
- Ch55- The Greatest Creation!
- Ch54- Revenge!
- Ch53- Secrets?
- Ch52- Measure of Deterrence
- Ch51- New Year
- Ch50- Potter
- Ch49- Yoghurt
- Ch48- Return
- Ch47- Master Ji
- Ch46- SMELLS LIKE… LIES!
- Ch45- Extra
- Ch44- Türkiye
- Ch43- Troublesome Runes
- Ch42- Eureka
- Ch41- Pungent
- Ch40- Hot!
- Ch39- Gravitas
- Ch38- Serious?
- Ch37- A Rosier
- Ch36- Not That Name!
- Ch35- Staff Meeting
- Ch34- Somewhere Else
- Ch33- Age Line
- Ch32- Coward!
- Spells and Ancient Varriants
- Ch31- Academic Liabilities
- Ch30- Founders
- Ch29- Soooo…
- Ch28- New Professor
- Ch27- Magical Contraception
- Ch26- Mind Magic
- Ch25- Brand
- Ch24- Fjords
- Ch23- Brain Drills
- Ch22- Almost A Proper One
- Ch21- Collapse
- Ch20- Ancient Cave
- Ch19- Family
- Ch18- Bloody Historians
- Ch17- Curse
- Ch16- Surviving the Year
- Ch15- Bathsheda Babbling
- Ch14- Aromic Bomb
- Ch13- Selena Rosier
- Ch12- Softening Charm
- Ch11- Unerasable History
- Ch10- Kitchen
- Ch9- The Witch!
- Ch8- First Lesson
- Ch7- New Year Begins
- Ch6- Professor Rosier
- Ch5- Lucian Rosier
- Ch4- Teacher?
- Ch3- Lumos
- Ch2- List
- Ch1- Useless. Failure. A Joke!
- Character Images