Chapter 31: Aggressive Relocation

“Yes, you can watch,” Bai Yue laughed, steadying him with one hand. “But you have to be good, okay? No throwing fruit at anyone.”

“But what if the lizard-man is mean to Mama?”

“Then you can throw fruit at him,” Zhāo Yàn said, appearing beside them with a smile that was far too indulgent. He reached up and ruffled Yòu Lín’s hair, making the kit giggle and lean into the touch.

Her heart betrayed her with a ridiculous little hop as she watched the Fox Lord play with their son, she really needed to get that organ under control. Stop it, heart. We have dragon trials to worry about. No time for feelings!

Mo Xiao approached from the other side, his three cubs immediately swarming him. “This is going to be interesting,” the Panther Alpha said, crossing his arms. “I’ve never seen a dragon grooming trial before.”

“Grooming trial?” Bai Yue squeaked.

“Oh yes,” Hóu Xián called down from his branch. “Very thorough! Very intimate! Very embarrassing for uptight lizards!”

Cāng Jì’s eye twitched violently.

Hóu Wáng stood up on his throne, raising his arms for silence. The clearing immediately quieted, even the cubs stopping their play to watch.

“CITIZENS OF THE THOUSAND-FANG VILLAGE!” The Monkey King’s voice thundered, colonizing the silence of the forest. “We are gathered here today to witness the FIRST TRIAL of humility for Cāng Jì, the so-called Golden Prince!”

“So-called?!” Cāng Jì sputtered.

“Trial One!” Hóu Wáng continued, ignoring him completely. “The Dragon must spend one full day living as a monkey! Sleeping in the trees! Eating with his hands! Grooming his companions! Chattering with proper enthusiasm!”

The monkeys in the trees erupted into excited screeching.

The Monkey King grinned, showing all his teeth. “So tell me, sparkles……are you ready?”

Cāng Jì’s hands clenched into fists at his sides. Smoke literally started puffing from his nostrils. “I could just burn You all right now,” he growled, his golden eyes blazing. “I could turn this entire clearing into ash before you could blink.”

“Yes, yes,” Hóu Xián said dismissively, still hanging upside-down. “But then that would draw the attention of the OTHER dragons. The Council of First Generation. And they would be VERY interested to know that you burned down a tribe over a stone you lost because you were careless.”

He swung forward, his grin absolutely wicked. “I hear the punishment for unsanctioned violence against mortals is…,,,,hmm, what was it, Grandfather? A thousand years of mountain-meditation?”

“Locked in a cave with no silks and no servants,” Hóu Wáng added cheerfully. “Very boring. Very humiliating.”

Cāng Jì looked like he was about to have a stroke.

Then his eyes landed on Bai Yue.

“Fine,” he bit out, each word sounding like it physically hurt him. “I accept. BUT—” He pointed a shaking finger at her. “The female comes with me.”

The clearing went dead silent.

“WHAT?!” Zhāo Yàn’s voice exploded across the clearing. He stepped in front of Bai Yue instantly, his body taut with fury. “You shall do no such thing, lizard! She is not part of this ridiculous trial!”

“She goes nowhere with you,” Mo Xiao added, moving to flank Bai Yue’s other side. A lethal glow filled his eyes, signaling his intent to kill.

Cāng Jì’s lip curled. “She was the one who CAUSED all of this! She stole my stone! She brought me to this mud-pit! She is the reason I am being humiliated by TREE-RODENTS!” His voice was rising with each word. “If I have to suffer, she suffers with me!”

“Absolutely not!” Zhāo Yàn snarled, his tails lashing behind him.

“Over my dead body!” Mo Xiao growled.

Bai Yue sighed deeply, looking between her two very angry, very protective Alphas. This is sweet, but also I’m going to get squished between them.

She gently pushed past Zhāo Yàn’s arm, stepping forward. “I’ll go.”

“BAI YUE—” both men started at once.

“I’ll be fine,” she said firmly, though her stomach was doing nervous somersaults. She looked at the Monkey King. “I caused this mess. I should help fix it. Besides…” She glanced at Cāng Jì’s absolutely murderous expression. “Someone needs to make sure he doesn’t actually incinerate anyone.”

“Mama, no!” Yòu Lín wailed from her shoulder, his little paws grabbing her hair. He turned his tear-filled eyes toward the Monkey King and did the most devastating thing possible.

He spat at him.

A tiny, kitten-sized spit that barely made it three feet before falling pathetically to the ground.

“Don’t take Mama!” Yòu Lín sobbed dramatically, burying his face in Bai Yue’s neck. “She didn’t do anything wrong! Take Papa instead! He’s bigger!”

“HEY!” Zhāo Yàn protested.

Hóu Wáng looked at the crying kit, then at the protective Alphas, then at Bai Yue’s resigned expression.

His grin widened impossibly further.

“Oh, this is going to be even MORE fun than I thought! The star-thief comes along!” He clapped his hands together. “Don’t worry, little fox-kit! We’ll return your mama in one piece! Mostly!”

“MOSTLY?!” Zhāo Yàn roared.

Before anyone could protest further, before Bai Yue could even take a breath, a golden blur dropped from the canopy above.

A young monkey, one she hadn’t seen before, swung down on a vine and snatched Bai Yue around the waist.

“Delivery service!” the monkey cackled.

“WAIT—AHHHHH!” Bai Yue shrieked as she was suddenly yanked off her feet. Yòu Lín tumbled off her shoulder with a yelp, caught by his father at the last second.

The monkey swung her up into the trees with terrifying speed, and Bai Yue got one last glimpse of the clearing: Zhāo Yàn and Mo Xiao both lunging forward with furious roars, the cubs screaming in shock, Cāng Jì looking like he wanted to die, and Hóu Wáng laughing so hard he fell off his throne.

“OHHHHHHH!” the monkeys in the trees chorused, their voices mixing into a chaotic cheer. “GO GO GO GO!”

“PUT ME DOWN!” Bai Yue screamed, clinging to the monkey’s arm as they soared through the canopy. “THIS IS KIDNAPPING! KIDNAPPING!”

“Eh, we prefer to call it ’aggressive relocation!’” the monkey chirped cheerfully.

Behind her, she could hear Cāng Jì’s voice, shrill with rage and resignation: “I HATE MONKEYS! I HATE THEM SO MUCH!”

And then the forest swallowed them whole.

[DING! ☆]

[Quest Update: Survive Trial One Without Dying OR Accidentally Mating With A Monkey!]

[Soul Itch Status: 3% – Not great, not terrible!]

[Days Remaining: 10]

[Good Luck, Raccoon!]

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