Chapter 60: Chemical Warfare
“Are you absolutely, unequivocally certain about this?”
Mo Xiao stood at the edge of the central cooking fire, his massive arms extended as far away from his body as physically possible.
In his hands, he held a thick, woven basket. He was treating the basket as if it contained a live, highly agitated venomous snake.
“Hand them over, Alpha,” Bai Yue demanded, holding out a large wooden bowl.
Mo Xiao swallowed hard. “Bai Yue, our hunters use these to strip the slime off Swamp Hydras. When the wind blows through the fire-pepper patch, the birds literally fall out of the sky. This is not food. This is a war crime.”
“Just put the peppers in the bowl, Mo Xiao,” Bai Yue grinned. “If you want to defeat a fire-breathing lizard, you have to fight fire with fire. Specifically, Sichuan-style fire.”
With a heavy sigh of impending doom, Mo Xiao tipped the basket.
A mountain of small, shriveled, bright red peppers tumbled into Bai Yue’s bowl.
“You are magnificent when you are plotting an assassination,” Zhāo Yàn purred from his spot leaning against a nearby tree.
The Fox Lord had completely abandoned any pretense of helping. He was simply watching her with his arms crossed, his nine silver tails swishing in slow arcs, looking at her like she was the single most fascinating creature in the universe.
“I am not assassinating anyone,” Bai Yue muttered, her cheeks warming slightly despite her focus. “I’m just…..aggressively expanding her culinary horizons. Now, pass me the boar fat.”
For the next two hours, the center of the Thousand Fang Tribe was transformed into a hazard zone.
Bai Yue had commandeered the largest, heaviest stone cauldron in the village.
First, she rendered the fresh boar fat until it was a bubbling, liquid gold. Then, she tossed in crushed wild ginger, pungent garlic-root, and a handful of aromatic bark Zhāo Yàn had foraged that smelled vaguely like cinnamon.
It smelled amazing. The cubs, who had been banished to a safe distance, were practically drooling.
And then…..she added the fire-peppers.
HIIISSSSS.
The moment the mountain of crushed, demonic red peppers hit the boiling animal fat, a massive, visible plume of crimson smoke erupted from the cauldron.
The wind caught the red vapor and swept it directly across the village clearing.
“By the Great Spirit!” Mo Xiao bellowed, instantly slapping a hand over his nose and eyes. “Retreat! Everyone fall back!”
Total chaos ensued. The panther triplets began weeping uncontrollably. Two nearby wolf warriors dropped to their knees, coughing violently as if they had inhaled campfire smoke.
Even the snake twins slithered up a tree at lightning speed to escape the fumes.
“My eyes! My beautiful eyes!” Cāng Jì shrieked from the dirt, rolling around and clutching his face. “She has blinded me! The female has finally snapped and poisoned us all!”
“Oh, stop whining, it’s just chili oil!” Bai Yue coughed, her own eyes watering profusely as she aggressively stirred the bubbling, blood-red cauldron with a massive wooden paddle.
Through the stinging haze, she felt a cool, soft pressure wrap around her waist. Zhāo Yàn had stepped into the hazard zone.
He wrapped one of his massive, fluffy tails completely around the lower half of her face, acting as a luxurious, custom-made air filter.
“Are you trying to win a wager or wipe out the entire tribe, little mate?” Zhāo Yàn chuckled, his own eyes slightly narrowed against the spice.
“It has to be perfect,” Bai Yue mumbled through the fluff of his tail. “If she doesn’t sweat, I lose my husband. And frankly, I have grown somewhat attached to your annoying face.”
Zhāo Yàn’s chest boomed with a dark, pleased laugh. “Careful. Keep saying things like that, and I might just let her win so I can kidnap you and run away.”
By the time the sun dipped below the horizon, painting the sky in vibrant shades of purple and orange, the air had finally cleared.
The entire village was gathered in a massive, fearful circle around the center fire, maintaining a strict twenty-foot perimeter from the cauldron.
Inside the stone pot, a dark red, oily broth boiled furiously. Thinly sliced pieces of wild boar meat and sweet tubers floated in the menacing liquid.
The hide curtain of the golden pavilion finally parted.
Cāng Yáo stepped out. She looked radiant, having clearly bathed and changed into a new set of flowing, starlight-blue silks.
Her gold jewelry chimed as she elegantly glided down her jade steps, her chin tilted up in arrogance.
She walked up to the fire, entirely ignoring the terrified beastmen shrinking away from her. She looked down at the bubbling red cauldron.
Her delicate nose wrinkled. “What is this foul-smelling concoction? It looks like boiling mud and blood.”
“It’s called Mala Hot Pot,” Bai Yue announced, stepping forward with a carved wooden bowl and a pair of makeshift wooden chopsticks. “It’s a delicacy from…..very far away. You said you wanted a meal. Here it is.”
Bai Yue expertly plucked a thin, perfectly cooked slice of boar meat from the boiling red oil.
She placed it into the wooden bowl, ladled a tiny bit of the terrifying broth over it, and offered it to the Dragon Princess.
“Eat up, Sparkles,” Bai Yue smiled, a dangerous glint in her eyes. “Let’s see if a First Generation Dragon can handle peasant food.”
Cāng Yáo scoffed loudly. “I have swallowed the hearts of dying stars. Do not test me, mud-rat.”
With a flick of her wrist, Cāng Yáo conjured a pair of pristine, glowing jade chopsticks. She elegantly took the slice of red, oil-dripping meat from Bai Yue’s bowl. She held it up to the firelight, inspecting it with deep disdain.
The entire village held its breath.
With a patronizing smirk, Cāng Yáo placed the meat into her mouth and began to chew.
Bai Yue counted in her head. One. Two. Three.
Dragons were creatures of fire. They were immune to physical flames. They slept in volcanoes. But capsaicin? Capsaicin was a chemical reaction. It tricked the brain’s pain receptors. It didn’t care if you were a celestial deity or a mortal, it demanded respect.
Cāng Yáo swallowed.
For a single, agonizing second, nothing happened. The Dragon Princess opened her mouth to speak, likely to deliver a crushing, arrogant insult.
Instead of an insult, a tiny, extremely undignified hiccup escaped her lips.
Along with a literal puff of black smoke.
Cāng Yáo froze. Her glowing golden eyes suddenly widened and her haughty mask of absolute superiority shattered.
A violent, unnatural flush of deep, burning crimson rapidly crawled up her neck, spreading across her flawless cheeks all the way to the tips of her pointed ears.
“S-Sister?” Cāng Jì whispered from the bushes.
Cāng Yáo didn’t answer. She couldn’t. She was currently experiencing the culinary equivalent of getting hit by a truck.
A bead of sweat, thick and heavy, rolled down the Dragon Princess’s temple. Her hands began to tremble.
She dropped her jade chopsticks into the dirt. She grabbed her own throat, her chest heaving as her biology violently warred with the unforgiving power of the fire-peppers.
Hiccup! Another puff of black smoke shot out of her nose.
“Oh no,” Mo Xiao muttered, taking a massive step backward. “She is going to explode.”
Cāng Yáo’s knees buckled slightly. She braced her hands on her thighs, panting heavily.
Tears were pouring out of her glowing golden eyes, completely ruining her regal composure.
She slowly lifted her head. She locked her blurry, watering eyes onto Bai Yue.
Bai Yue swallowed hard, her confidence suddenly faltering. Did I overdo it? Is she going to incinerate me now?
Cāng Yáo reached out a trembling, heavily jeweled hand. She grabbed the front of Bai Yue’s animal-hide tunic, pulling the human female dangerously close.
The Dragon Princess’s breath smelled entirely like chili oil and smoke.
“You…..” Cāng Yáo wheezed, her voice hoarse and completely wrecked.
“I…..I can get you some….erm…water?” Bai Yue offered weakly, fearing for her life.
Cāng Yáo shook her head violently. She stared at the bubbling red cauldron, her pupils completely dilated.
She looked back at Bai Yue.
“Forget the stupid fox,” Cāng Yáo rasped, her golden eyes burning with a sudden, crazed obsession. “Give me another bowl. Now.”
Source: Webnovel.com, updated by NovelKeep
Chapters
- Chapter 189: The Road Home
- Chapter 188: The end of a journey
- Chapter 187: Home
- Chapter 186: The Goddess’s Reluctant Apology
- Chapter 185: Terrible Emotional Intelligence
- Chapter 184: Alone in the Green
- Chapter 183: Back to Square One
- Chapter 182: Black Mirror River
- Chapter 181: Memory Wipe
- Chapter 180: The Great Remembrance
- Chapter 179: Robbery
- Chapter 178: The Shaman’s Shop
- Chapter 177: Crashout
- Chapter 176: Hunt For The Truth
- Chapter 175: Prom Pickup
- Chapter 174: The Scholar’s Son
- Chapter 173: The Clumsy Scholar
- Chapter 172: The Fox Who Didn’t Know Why He Called
- Chapter 171: Vanilla Dreams
- Chapter 170: Old Scars and New Sparks
- Chapter 169: Talk Over Matcha
- Chapter 168: Urgent Calls
- Chapter 167: Stars, Suits, and the Tiny Terror
- Chapter 166: The Goddess takes a Gamble
- Chapter 165: The Golden Prince’s Fury
- Chapter 164: The Hollow Crown
- Chapter 163: Run Toward the Sunrise
- Chapter 162: Death
- Chapter 161: The Ice That Would Not Come
- Chapter 160: The Breaking
- Chapter 159: The Hunter becomes the hunted
- Chapter 158: Queen of Ashes
- Chapter 157: The Crate
- Chapter 156: Scariest Scout
- Chapter 155: Rui Xue Alone
- Chapter 154: Headcount
- Chapter 153: Canopy Crash
- Chapter 152: Going to the Jungles
- Chapter 151: Courage Beyond Measure
- Chapter 150: Assassins!
- Chapter 149: The Shadow of the Jade
- Chapter 148: An Unseen Threat
- Chapter 147: The Jade Jaguar
- Chapter 146: The River Snapper Ambush
- Chapter 145: The Agony of Being Nine and Fluffy
- Chapter 144: Who is Tao Zi?
- Chapter 143: Lessons Learned(The Hard Way)
- Chapter 142: The Burning Sky Arrives
- Chapter 141: A Mother’s Fury
- Chapter 140: The Butterfly Problem
- Chapter 139: Little Moon On The Run
- Chapter 138: A Woman Scorned
- Chapter 137: The Weight of Leaving
- Chapter 136: Mother of My Cub
- Chapter 135: The Sight Of You
- Chapter 134: The Red Panda makes a Cub
- Chapter 133: The Art of Courtship
- Chapter 132: Mo Xiao of Thousand Fang
- Chapter 131: Gu Gu says Yes!
- Chapter 130: The Woman Who Fed Everyone
- Chapter 129: A Very Small Panda
- Chapter 128: The Snake Who Slept Too Long
- Chapter 127: The Hole Problem
- Chapter 126: Tumbling Down
- Chapter 125: Blood and Snow
- Chapter 124: The Magnificent Battle
- Chapter 123: The Art of the Pout
- Chapter 122: The Cubs and the Burning Sky
- Chapter 121: The Burning Sky Loses A Baby
- Chapter 120: The Ice Queen’s Blush
- Chapter 119: Night with the Fox
- Chapter 118: The Intruders Get Roasted(literally)
- Chapter 117: Intruders!
- Chapter 116: The Festival
- Chapter 115: Alone Time with Zhao Yan
- Chapter 114: Flirting with The Dusty Old Dragon
- Chapter 113: The Grandma Chronicles
- Chapter 112: Run For Your Life!
- Chapter 111: The Dragon Who Did Not Want Friends
- Chapter 110: Not The Monster I Expected
- Chapter 109: Breakfast With the Storm
- Chapter 108: The Other Woman
- Chapter 107: Another Dragon Friend
- Chapter 106: Elder Emberglow’s Past
- Chapter 105: The Adventures of The Two Cubs
- Chapter 104: The Dragon King Has A Crisis
- Chapter 103: The Sky That Burns
- Chapter 102: The Stormcrown’s Catch
- Chapter 101: The Dragon King’s Decree
- Chapter 100: The Storm in the Clouds
- Chapter 99: Another Dragon
- Chapter 98: The Postpartum Gift Shop Explosion
- Chapter 97: Storm Dragon Stamina
- Chapter 96: The Return of the Dragon Prince
- Chapter 95: The Tiny Tyrant of Thousand Fang
- Chapter 94: It’s a She!
- Chapter 93: Little Zhen Wakes Up
- Chapter 92: The Arrival of Little Zhen
- Chapter 91: Let’s Have a Baby
- Chapter 90: The Ice Queen’s Forgiveness
- Chapter 89: Electric Boogaloo
- Chapter 88: The Grandmother Gauntlet
- Chapter 87: The Longest Night
- Chapter 86: Very Unsolicited Baby Names
- Chapter 85: Thousand Fang Game Day
- Chapter 84: The Council of Chaos
- Chapter 83: The Bear Who Should Have Stayed Hibernating
- Chapter 82: The Cursed, Cranky, Very Pregnant Female
- Chapter 81: The Fox Who Heard Everything
- Chapter 80: A Night With The Snow Leopard
- Chapter 79: Flee Before the Turkeys
- Chapter 78: The Lemon Heist Gone Wrong
- Chapter 77: My Pheromone Soap Ruined Everything (A Cultivation Memoir)
- Chapter 76: Aphrodisiac Soap
- Chapter 75: I Know What To Do!
- Chapter 74: Cornered by the Leopard Lord
- Chapter 73: Is Papa Eating Mama
- Chapter 72: So Long, Sparkly Dragons
- Chapter 71: Peace Was Never an Option
- Chapter 70: Walking Was a Mistake
- Chapter 69: The Mandatory Honeymoon of Doom
- Chapter 68: Tiān-Mìng Pops In to Drop the Horniest Quest Log of All Time
- Chapter 67: Zhāo Yàn vs. Han Shān: Territorial Tug-of-War
- Chapter 66: The Third Husband
- Chapter 65: You Can Not Banish Her!
- Chapter 64: Talk to Your Traumatized Husband First
- Chapter 63: The Great Fur-pocalypse
- Chapter 62: Debt is Paid
- Chapter 61: One Smile
- Chapter 60: Chemical Warfare
- Chapter 59: The Draconic Contract
- Chapter 58: Spite Over Sense
- Chapter 57: Almost...
- Chapter 56: The Golden Squatter
- Chapter 55: The Territorial Kiss
- Chapter 54: The Dragon Princess and The New Pet
- Chapter 53: The Incoming Hurricane
- Chapter 52: I Am Going To Bed
- Chapter 51: Another Attempted Murder
- Chapter 50: Moon-Whisker Weed
- Chapter 49: The Tears of a Tiger
- Chapter 48: Did I Break Him?
- Chapter 47: Flying Dropkicks
- Chapter 46: Two Knuckle-Knocks and a Broken Brain
- Chapter 45: The First Son
- Chapter 44: Caught in 4K
- Chapter 43: Smells Like Swamp Mud
- Chapter 42: Of Swamp Noodles and Skincare Routines
- Chapter 41: The Feral Mother Strikes Again!
- Chapter 40: The Three-Headed Toddler
- Chapter 39: Trial by Performance
- Chapter 38: Trial by Performance
- Chapter 37: The Dragon Who Unknotted Things
- Chapter 36: Monkey Cuddles
- Chapter 35: The Concept of Privacy
- Chapter 34: The Golden Meltdown
- Chapter 33: Cāng Jì’s Worst Nightmare
- Chapter 32: Welcome to Monkey Hell
- Chapter 31: Aggressive Relocation
- Chapter 30: Wake Up, Lazy Raccoon!
- Chapter 29: I Am an Alpha (Please Pat My Head)
- Chapter 28: Dying Whales and Evil Carrots
- Chapter 27: A Ripple In The Ice
- Chapter 26: How to Train Your Dragon (With Honey Cakes and Emotional Blackmail)
- Chapter 25: Three Trials
- Chapter 24: The Monkey King’s Revenge
- Chapter 23: Attack of the Cubs!
- Chapter 22: Riddles in the Morning
- Chapter 21: Hot Springs and Cold Glares
- Chapter 20: The Uninvited Guest
- Chapter 19: The Return of the Snow Leopard
- Chapter 18: The High-Altitude Hitchhiker
- Chapter 17: The Dragon’s Shadow
- Chapter 16: The Wrath of Gū Gū
- Chapter 15: Grandma’s Stick of Truth
- Chapter 14: Death by Star-Fruit: A Snake Twin Special
- Chapter 13: Squeaky Clean Demon
- Chapter 12: The Fox’s Bath Time
- Chapter 11: Judgement is Passed
- Chapter 10: Mama
- Chapter 9: The Wrath of the "Demon"
- Chapter 8: Make Snowball Smile
- Chapter 7: Firelight Trial
- Chapter 6: The Snake Twins!
- Chapter 5: The Mission of the Smile
- Chapter 4: The Contagious Giggle
- Chapter 3: The Snow Leopard’s Cold Shoulder
- Chapter 2: Good Kitty
- Chapter 1: The Worst First Day Ever