Chapter 40: The Three-Headed Toddler

Poke. Poke.

Bai Yue stood at the edge of the platform, holding a long, relatively straight branch, gently jabbing the unconscious Dragon Prince in the cheek.

Cāng Jì lay flat on his back, his arms splayed out, perfectly motionless.

“Is he dead?” Hóu Xián asked, hanging upside down from a vine right next to Bai Yue’s ear. “If he is dead, do we get to keep his boots? They look very shiny.”

“He is not dead,” Hóu Wáng grunted, leaning on his walking stick. “Dragons don’t die from embarrassment. Though, given the day he has had, his pride might be fatally wounded.”

Poke. “Come on, sparkles,” Bai Yue muttered. “Wake up. The stone is gone, but we can figure this out. Probably. Maybe. Just don’t incinerate me when you open your eyes.”

Cāng Jì’s golden eyelashes fluttered.

The surrounding monkeys immediately scattered, diving behind giant leaves and scrambling up higher branches in anticipation of a fiery apocalypse. Bai Yue gripped her poking stick like a broadsword, ready to defend herself against a draconic meltdown.

The Dragon Prince slowly sat up.

He didn’t scream. He didn’t burst into flames. He didn’t even glare.

His face was completely, terrifyingly blank. The light behind his golden eyes had simply……turned off.

Slowly, elegantly, Cāng Jì stood up. He brushed a nonexistent speck of dust off his soiled, monkey-peed-on robes, adjusted his sleeves, and folded his hands behind his back with the majestic posture of a deity addressing his subjects.

“Well,” Cāng Jì announced. His voice was perfectly level, devoid of any emotion whatsoever. “I have decided I no longer need a pulse-stabilizer.”

Bai Yue blinked. “You……what?”

“Yes,” the Dragon Prince continued, staring fixedly at a point about three feet to the left of Bai Yue’s head. “It is a trivial possession. A crutch for the weak. I will simply vibrate into eternity. It builds character. Good day to you all.”

With a crisp nod, he turned around and began to casually walk away.

Thwack.

He walked directly into the massive trunk of the Iron-Wood tree.

He didn’t flinch. He simply turned ninety degrees to the right and took three more steps.

Thwack. He hit the exact same tree.

“Excuse me,” Cāng Jì said politely to the bark. He turned ninety degrees again.

Thwack.

“Uh……Cāng Jì?” Bai Yue called out, dropping her stick. “Are you okay? Is your head broken?”

“I am ascending beyond the need for spatial awareness,” Cāng Jì replied to the tree trunk. “I am becoming one with the cosmos. Do not interrupt my journey.”

He tried to step forward again, his legs shaking so violently they looked like they were vibrating on a molecular level.

“Oh no, you don’t!” Bai Yue lunged forward, grabbing the thick collar of his ruined robes just as he was about to wander straight off the edge of the platform.

“UNHAND ME!” Cāng Jì shrieked, suddenly thrashing like a caught fish. The majestic facade shattered instantly. “LET ME GO! I AM EMBRACING THE VOID! THE VOID DOES NOT JUDGE ME! THE VOID DOES NOT HAVE MONKEYS IN IT!”

“You can’t embrace the void, we have a shiny rock to retrieve!” Bai Yue yelled, digging her heels into the wood as she physically dragged the towering, flailing Dragon Prince backward.

“I DON’T WANT THE ROCK! THE ROCK IS CURSED! THIS ENTIRE PLACE IS CURSED!”

“Pull yourself together!” Bai Yue scolded, giving him a hard shake. She channeled every ounce of her newly acquired ’feral mother’ energy, the exact same tone she used when A-Li tried to eat dirt. “Look at me! We are going down there, and we are getting your stabilizer back!”

Cāng Jì stopped thrashing. He looked down at her, his golden eyes wide and filled with a profound terror.

“Down there,” he whispered, pointing a trembling finger at the thick, swirling gray mist below the platform. “Into the Forbidden Swamp. To face the Swamp Hydra. A beast of unspeakable horror that drives men mad with its multi-headed roar.”

Right on cue, another terrifying, earth-shattering sound echoed up from the mist.

ROAAAARRRRRR!

Cāng Jì’s eyes rolled back in his head.

“Don’t you dare faint again!” Bai Yue snapped, slapping his cheek.

“I am not going!” Hóu Xián announced from a safe distance. “Grandfather says the Swamp Hydra eats monkeys for breakfast! We’ll just……stay up here and weave some baskets in your memory!”

“Useless! All of you!” Bai Yue groaned.

She looked at the mist. She looked at the hyperventilating Dragon Prince. She sighed. Guess she would have to do it herself.

“Fine,” Bai Yue grumbled, marching over to a thick, sturdy vine hanging from the platform. “Stay here and embrace your tree, sparkles. I’ll be back.”

Grabbing the vine, Bai Yue swung her legs over the edge and began her descent into the thick, gray fog.

The air grew heavy and damp the lower she went. The smell of sulfur and ancient mud filled her nose. The mist was so dense she could barely see her own bare feet dangling below her.

As her toes finally touched the squishy, moss-covered ground of the swamp, the terrifying roar echoed again, much closer this time.

ROAAARRR! Followed by… a high-pitched whine?

“WAAAAHHHHHH!” Bai Yue paused, creeping forward through the giant, glowing mushrooms and twisted roots. That didn’t sound like a bloodthirsty monster. That sounded exactly like Ruì Xuě when the panther triplets wouldn’t share their toys.

She pushed aside a massive fern and stepped into a clearing.

There, looming in the center of the swamp, was the legendary Swamp Hydra.

It was massive, covered in dark green scales that dripped with swamp water. It had a long, spiked tail that was currently thumping against the mud.

And it had three heads on long, serpentine necks.

But they weren’t searching for prey. They were fighting.

“GIVE IT!” Head One snapped, its massive jaws snapping at the air. “IT LOOKS DELICIOUS! I WANT TO CHEW ON THE SHINY BERRY!”

“NO! IT IS MINE!” Head Two roared, the exact same terrifying roar that had shaken the forest. But up close, the context was entirely different. Head Two had the glowing blue Lumina-Stone perfectly balanced on its snout. “MOM SAID IT’S MY TURN WITH THE GLOWY ROCK! I AM THE PRETTIEST! IT IS MY CROWN!”

“WAAAAHHHHHH!” Head Three was bawling its reptilian eyes out, massive tears the size of watermelons splashing onto the mud. “YOU GUYS NEVER LET ME HOLD IT! YOU’RE SO MEAN! I’M TELLING MOM!”

“SHUT UP, YOU BABY!” Head One and Head Two yelled in unison.

Ehh???

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