Chapter 36: Monkey Cuddles
“THIS IS NOT SAFE!” Bai Yue shrieked as she plummeted through the air for the third time in ten minutes.
A young male monkey caught her at the last second, his tail wrapped around a vine, and swung her back up to the work platform with a laugh. “It’s totally safe! We haven’t lost anyone permanently in at least… oh… two weeks?”
“TWO WEEKS?!”
“What? That’s a good record!”
The “maintenance” turned out to be a chaotic, terrifying process where young male monkeys tested the strength of the vines by jumping on them, using anything and anyone as “test weights.”
And apparently, Bai Yue was the perfect test weight.
“Again!” a monkey called from above. “Throw her higher this time!”
“NO!” Bai Yue yelled. “No higher! I’m fine with the current height! Which is ZERO! ON THE GROUND!”
But her protests were ignored as she was tossed from vine to vine, each monkey testing the strength and flexibility of their aerial highways by seeing if they could catch and throw the screaming female.
Cāng Jì, standing on a relatively stable platform with his arms crossed, watched with barely-concealed amusement. “This is karma, star-thief. This is what you deserve for stealing my stone.”
“I HATE YOU!” Bai Yue screamed as she was caught and thrown again.
“I know!”
After what felt like an eternity of being used as a living stress-test, Bai Yue was finally allowed to collapse on a platform, her legs shaking and her hair a complete disaster. The monkeys had moved on to weaving new safety nets under the higher nurseries, which at least didn’t involve throwing her through the air.
She watched as they worked, their movements quick espite the playful banter. They wove thick vines together in patterns, creating nets that were surprisingly sturdy when tested.
“You have to admit,” Cāng Jì said, sitting down beside her with his now-dry robes back on, “they are skilled.”
“They’re insane,” Bai Yue muttered.
“That too.”
By the time the maintenance was finished, the sun had climbed to its peak, beating down through the canopy with oppressive heat. The air grew thick and heavy, and even the energetic monkeys began to slow their movements.
Hóu Wáng appeared on their platform, wiping sweat from his brow. “Afternoon rest time!” he announced. “Too hot to work. We nap now.”
“Nap?” Bai Yue perked up. “That sounds amazing. I’m exhausted.”
“Excellent!” The Monkey King grinned. “Follow me to the Cuddle-Puddle!”
“The… what?”
“The Cuddle-Puddle!” Hóu Xián appeared, bouncing excitedly. “It’s tradition! When the sun is too hot, we conserve energy by piling together in the shade! Bonds the tribe! Very cozy!”
Cāng Jì’s eye began to twitch. “No. Absolutely not. I am not ’cuddling’ with anyone.”
“Oh, you’re cuddling,” Hóu Wáng said cheerfully. “Or the trial ends here and you never get your stone back!”
The Dragon Prince opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again, and then let out a sound of pure despair. “I want to die.”
They were led to a massive, shaded platform beneath the thickest branches of an ancient Iron-Wood tree. The platform was covered in soft moss and dried grass, and already, dozens of monkeys were gathering, yawning and stretching.
“You, dragon!” Hóu Wáng pointed at Cāng Jì. “You’re the biggest and sturdiest. You’re the bottom pillow!”
“I AM NOT A PILLOW!”
“Lie down or no stone!”
Cāng Jì looked at Bai Yue with an expression of such profound betrayal that she actually felt guilty. But he did lie down, flat on his back, his arms rigid at his sides and his face set in a mask of suffering.
Immediately, monkeys began to pile on top of him. First the larger adults, using his torso and legs as cushions. Then the younger ones, tucking themselves into whatever spaces remained. They draped over him like a living blanket, their tails and limbs tangling together in a massive, furry heap.
“No, no, no, no,” Cāng Jì was muttering under his breath. “This is not happening. This is a nightmare. I am asleep in my palace and this is a terrible dream brought on by eating too much spiced wine—”
“You too, cursed female!” a monkey called, pointing at Bai Yue. “Into the puddle!”
Before she could protest, she was pulled into the mass of warm, furry bodies, ending up wedged somewhere in the middle of the pile. A monkey’s tail was draped over her shoulder. Someone’s foot was near her ear. And there was definitely fur in her mouth no matter how much she tried to avoid it.
“This is my life now,” she whispered to no one in particular. “This is how I die. Suffocated by monkey cuddles.”
From somewhere below, buried under approximately fifteen monkeys, she heard Cāng Jì’s muffled voice: “If we survive this, star-thief, I am raising your debt to two stones.”
Despite the heat, the fur, the absolute absurdity of the situation, Bai Yue started to laugh. It bubbled up from her chest, helpless giggles that she couldn’t contain even as a young monkey shifted and accidentally elbowed her in the ribs.
“Are you laughing?!” Cāng Jì’s outraged voice drifted up from the bottom of the pile. “We are being CRUSHED and you are LAUGHING?!”
“I can’t help it!” Bai Yue wheezed. “This is insane! We’re in a monkey cuddle-puddle! A CUDDLE-PUDDLE!”
A few of the monkeys joined in her laughter, their bodies shaking and making the whole pile wobble.
And then, from the very bottom, crushed under the weight of an entire tribe, serving as an unwilling pillow for creatures he had sworn eternal hatred against, Cāng Jì began to laugh too.
It started as a strangled sound, like he was trying to hold it in. But then it burst out, full and genuine, echoing through the canopy.
The Dragon Prince was laughing.
The monkeys immediately started cheering, bouncing up and down on the pile and making it even worse.
“The dragon laughs! The dragon laughs! The trial is working!”
“Grandfather! Grandfather! He’s learning humility!”
“Quick, someone write this down! History is being made!”
“I STILL HATE ALL OF YOU!” Cāng Jì yelled, but he was still laughing, his body shaking beneath the pile.
Bai Yue closed her eyes, a smile on her face despite the fur in her mouth and the monkey foot by her ear.
[DING! ☆]
[Trial One Progress: 45% Complete!]
[Cāng Jì’s Dignity: -12000% (New Low!)]
[Unexpected Bonus: Dragon Prince Actually Laughed! +500 Humility Points!]
[Bai Yue’s Fur-in-Mouth Status: Critical]
[Days Remaining: 10]
[Soul Itch: Still 3% – You’re doing great, raccoon!]
Source: Webnovel.com, updated by NovelKeep
Chapters
- Chapter 189: The Road Home
- Chapter 188: The end of a journey
- Chapter 187: Home
- Chapter 186: The Goddess’s Reluctant Apology
- Chapter 185: Terrible Emotional Intelligence
- Chapter 184: Alone in the Green
- Chapter 183: Back to Square One
- Chapter 182: Black Mirror River
- Chapter 181: Memory Wipe
- Chapter 180: The Great Remembrance
- Chapter 179: Robbery
- Chapter 178: The Shaman’s Shop
- Chapter 177: Crashout
- Chapter 176: Hunt For The Truth
- Chapter 175: Prom Pickup
- Chapter 174: The Scholar’s Son
- Chapter 173: The Clumsy Scholar
- Chapter 172: The Fox Who Didn’t Know Why He Called
- Chapter 171: Vanilla Dreams
- Chapter 170: Old Scars and New Sparks
- Chapter 169: Talk Over Matcha
- Chapter 168: Urgent Calls
- Chapter 167: Stars, Suits, and the Tiny Terror
- Chapter 166: The Goddess takes a Gamble
- Chapter 165: The Golden Prince’s Fury
- Chapter 164: The Hollow Crown
- Chapter 163: Run Toward the Sunrise
- Chapter 162: Death
- Chapter 161: The Ice That Would Not Come
- Chapter 160: The Breaking
- Chapter 159: The Hunter becomes the hunted
- Chapter 158: Queen of Ashes
- Chapter 157: The Crate
- Chapter 156: Scariest Scout
- Chapter 155: Rui Xue Alone
- Chapter 154: Headcount
- Chapter 153: Canopy Crash
- Chapter 152: Going to the Jungles
- Chapter 151: Courage Beyond Measure
- Chapter 150: Assassins!
- Chapter 149: The Shadow of the Jade
- Chapter 148: An Unseen Threat
- Chapter 147: The Jade Jaguar
- Chapter 146: The River Snapper Ambush
- Chapter 145: The Agony of Being Nine and Fluffy
- Chapter 144: Who is Tao Zi?
- Chapter 143: Lessons Learned(The Hard Way)
- Chapter 142: The Burning Sky Arrives
- Chapter 141: A Mother’s Fury
- Chapter 140: The Butterfly Problem
- Chapter 139: Little Moon On The Run
- Chapter 138: A Woman Scorned
- Chapter 137: The Weight of Leaving
- Chapter 136: Mother of My Cub
- Chapter 135: The Sight Of You
- Chapter 134: The Red Panda makes a Cub
- Chapter 133: The Art of Courtship
- Chapter 132: Mo Xiao of Thousand Fang
- Chapter 131: Gu Gu says Yes!
- Chapter 130: The Woman Who Fed Everyone
- Chapter 129: A Very Small Panda
- Chapter 128: The Snake Who Slept Too Long
- Chapter 127: The Hole Problem
- Chapter 126: Tumbling Down
- Chapter 125: Blood and Snow
- Chapter 124: The Magnificent Battle
- Chapter 123: The Art of the Pout
- Chapter 122: The Cubs and the Burning Sky
- Chapter 121: The Burning Sky Loses A Baby
- Chapter 120: The Ice Queen’s Blush
- Chapter 119: Night with the Fox
- Chapter 118: The Intruders Get Roasted(literally)
- Chapter 117: Intruders!
- Chapter 116: The Festival
- Chapter 115: Alone Time with Zhao Yan
- Chapter 114: Flirting with The Dusty Old Dragon
- Chapter 113: The Grandma Chronicles
- Chapter 112: Run For Your Life!
- Chapter 111: The Dragon Who Did Not Want Friends
- Chapter 110: Not The Monster I Expected
- Chapter 109: Breakfast With the Storm
- Chapter 108: The Other Woman
- Chapter 107: Another Dragon Friend
- Chapter 106: Elder Emberglow’s Past
- Chapter 105: The Adventures of The Two Cubs
- Chapter 104: The Dragon King Has A Crisis
- Chapter 103: The Sky That Burns
- Chapter 102: The Stormcrown’s Catch
- Chapter 101: The Dragon King’s Decree
- Chapter 100: The Storm in the Clouds
- Chapter 99: Another Dragon
- Chapter 98: The Postpartum Gift Shop Explosion
- Chapter 97: Storm Dragon Stamina
- Chapter 96: The Return of the Dragon Prince
- Chapter 95: The Tiny Tyrant of Thousand Fang
- Chapter 94: It’s a She!
- Chapter 93: Little Zhen Wakes Up
- Chapter 92: The Arrival of Little Zhen
- Chapter 91: Let’s Have a Baby
- Chapter 90: The Ice Queen’s Forgiveness
- Chapter 89: Electric Boogaloo
- Chapter 88: The Grandmother Gauntlet
- Chapter 87: The Longest Night
- Chapter 86: Very Unsolicited Baby Names
- Chapter 85: Thousand Fang Game Day
- Chapter 84: The Council of Chaos
- Chapter 83: The Bear Who Should Have Stayed Hibernating
- Chapter 82: The Cursed, Cranky, Very Pregnant Female
- Chapter 81: The Fox Who Heard Everything
- Chapter 80: A Night With The Snow Leopard
- Chapter 79: Flee Before the Turkeys
- Chapter 78: The Lemon Heist Gone Wrong
- Chapter 77: My Pheromone Soap Ruined Everything (A Cultivation Memoir)
- Chapter 76: Aphrodisiac Soap
- Chapter 75: I Know What To Do!
- Chapter 74: Cornered by the Leopard Lord
- Chapter 73: Is Papa Eating Mama
- Chapter 72: So Long, Sparkly Dragons
- Chapter 71: Peace Was Never an Option
- Chapter 70: Walking Was a Mistake
- Chapter 69: The Mandatory Honeymoon of Doom
- Chapter 68: Tiān-Mìng Pops In to Drop the Horniest Quest Log of All Time
- Chapter 67: Zhāo Yàn vs. Han Shān: Territorial Tug-of-War
- Chapter 66: The Third Husband
- Chapter 65: You Can Not Banish Her!
- Chapter 64: Talk to Your Traumatized Husband First
- Chapter 63: The Great Fur-pocalypse
- Chapter 62: Debt is Paid
- Chapter 61: One Smile
- Chapter 60: Chemical Warfare
- Chapter 59: The Draconic Contract
- Chapter 58: Spite Over Sense
- Chapter 57: Almost...
- Chapter 56: The Golden Squatter
- Chapter 55: The Territorial Kiss
- Chapter 54: The Dragon Princess and The New Pet
- Chapter 53: The Incoming Hurricane
- Chapter 52: I Am Going To Bed
- Chapter 51: Another Attempted Murder
- Chapter 50: Moon-Whisker Weed
- Chapter 49: The Tears of a Tiger
- Chapter 48: Did I Break Him?
- Chapter 47: Flying Dropkicks
- Chapter 46: Two Knuckle-Knocks and a Broken Brain
- Chapter 45: The First Son
- Chapter 44: Caught in 4K
- Chapter 43: Smells Like Swamp Mud
- Chapter 42: Of Swamp Noodles and Skincare Routines
- Chapter 41: The Feral Mother Strikes Again!
- Chapter 40: The Three-Headed Toddler
- Chapter 39: Trial by Performance
- Chapter 38: Trial by Performance
- Chapter 37: The Dragon Who Unknotted Things
- Chapter 36: Monkey Cuddles
- Chapter 35: The Concept of Privacy
- Chapter 34: The Golden Meltdown
- Chapter 33: Cāng Jì’s Worst Nightmare
- Chapter 32: Welcome to Monkey Hell
- Chapter 31: Aggressive Relocation
- Chapter 30: Wake Up, Lazy Raccoon!
- Chapter 29: I Am an Alpha (Please Pat My Head)
- Chapter 28: Dying Whales and Evil Carrots
- Chapter 27: A Ripple In The Ice
- Chapter 26: How to Train Your Dragon (With Honey Cakes and Emotional Blackmail)
- Chapter 25: Three Trials
- Chapter 24: The Monkey King’s Revenge
- Chapter 23: Attack of the Cubs!
- Chapter 22: Riddles in the Morning
- Chapter 21: Hot Springs and Cold Glares
- Chapter 20: The Uninvited Guest
- Chapter 19: The Return of the Snow Leopard
- Chapter 18: The High-Altitude Hitchhiker
- Chapter 17: The Dragon’s Shadow
- Chapter 16: The Wrath of Gū Gū
- Chapter 15: Grandma’s Stick of Truth
- Chapter 14: Death by Star-Fruit: A Snake Twin Special
- Chapter 13: Squeaky Clean Demon
- Chapter 12: The Fox’s Bath Time
- Chapter 11: Judgement is Passed
- Chapter 10: Mama
- Chapter 9: The Wrath of the "Demon"
- Chapter 8: Make Snowball Smile
- Chapter 7: Firelight Trial
- Chapter 6: The Snake Twins!
- Chapter 5: The Mission of the Smile
- Chapter 4: The Contagious Giggle
- Chapter 3: The Snow Leopard’s Cold Shoulder
- Chapter 2: Good Kitty
- Chapter 1: The Worst First Day Ever