Chapter 106: The Oscar Goes To…
Ren gathered a bundle of dry sticks, leaning them precariously against her chest. Her stomach gave a loud, angry growl, demanding restitution for the calories she had burned trekking through the woods and wrestling with her emotions. She hadn’t eaten all day.
But as hungry as she was, the sheer, unadulterated terror of her situation stole her appetite completely.
The forest was dimming. The vibrant greens were turning into ominous shadows as twilight crept in. The cheerful bird songs were being replaced by the unsettling chitter-chatter of nocturnal insects that sounded far too large for comfort.
Ren stood there, biting her lip, her mind racing.
’What do I do? What do I do?’
She had two massive problems. One: Her Tiger was currently being kidnapped (consensually, sort of) by a sleazy fox shaman. Two: She smelled like a walking aphrodisiac.
Vex’s words echoed in her mind like a cursed mantra: ’You smell like a female in heat.’
She squeezed her thighs together nervously, feeling the heat radiate from her core.
’Do snakes smell that?’ she asked herself frantically. ’Of course they do. Syris flicks his tongue every five seconds. That’s not a tick; that’s him tasting the air in 4K resolution. If I walk in there smelling like Eau de Lust, he’s going to know instantly. He’ll think I was doing… things.’
The thought of the possessive Snake King catching a whiff of another male on her—or worse, just smelling her arousal and assuming it was for him—sent a shiver down her spine that had nothing to do with the dropping temperature.
She looked toward the darker, denser part of the woods where the river flowed downstream. The water glinted black under the fading light.
’I should go wash,’
she thought desperately. ’I could run down there, scrub off, and come back wet. I’ll tell them I fell in chasing a… a squirrel. Or I slipped on a rock.’
She took one step toward the dark trees.
Snap.
A twig broke nearby. A shadow seemed to elongate and reach toward her.
Ren froze, her foot hovering in mid-air.
’Nope. Absolutely not.’
The forest was terrifying. There were giant bears. There were poisonous frogs that melted bones. And what if she ran into Shadow Beasts? If she wandered off alone in the dark to take a bath, she wouldn’t need to worry about explaining anything to Syris because she’d be dead.
A headline in the Beast World newspaper: Human Woman Eaten While Trying to Wash Away Shame.
She pivoted back to the clearing. ’Okay, washing is out. What about masking it?’
She looked frantically at the plants around her. There was a bush with fragrant, sweet-smelling white flowers.
’Maybe I can use nature’s perfume?’
She reached for a flower, considering rubbing the petals against her inner thighs to mask the scent. Then she paused, her hand inches from the bloom.
’Ren, stop. You are in an alien world where innocent-looking fruit gives you explosive diarrhea and tree frogs cause baldness. Rubbing a mystery flower on your delicate lady parts is not a strategy; it’s a gynaecological nightmare waiting to happen. You do not want “Poison Ivy Crotch” added to your list of problems.’
She sighed.
She was out of time. The sun was almost gone. The sky was bleeding from orange to a bruised purple. If she didn’t get back now, Syris would come looking for her. And if he found her lurking in the bushes, guilty and smelling like sex, it would look infinitely worse.
Ren took a deep breath. She scooped up the bundle of firewood, hugging it like a shield.
’Okay. Plan B. Distraction. I need to overwhelm them with so much drama, so much noise, and so much tragedy that their brains short-circuit and they forget to smell me.’
She started marching back toward the riverbank, her mind rehearsing the script.
’You need tears. Real ones. You need snot. You need hyperventilation.’
As the trees thinned, she spotted them. Syris and Viper were leaning back against large rocks near the water. Thankfully, they had put their clothes back on. Syris was looking at the sky, his expression bored but tinged with impatience, likely wondering why his wife and her other husband were taking so long to find kindling.
Ren stopped just out of sight behind a large fern. She closed her eyes.
She summoned the spirit of Anne Hathaway in Les Misérables.
She thought of the scene where Fantine sings “I Dreamed a Dream” with her hair chopped off and her teeth pulled out. She thought about the time Mufasa died in The Lion King. She thought about the time she dropped a fresh, hot pizza face-down on the floor after a long shift.
Her chin wobbled. Her throat constricted. A single, hot tear leaked out. Then another.
’Yes. Keep it coming. Use the hunger. Use the fear.’
She let out a small, practice whimper. ’Good. Now, louder.’
’Showtime.’
Ren burst into the clearing.
“SYRIS!” she wailed, her voice cracking with manufactured devastation.
She ran toward them, stumbling slightly for effect, her legs wobbling as if she could barely hold herself up under the weight of her grief. When she got close enough, she let go of the firewood.
Crash.
The sticks clattered loudly onto the stones, scattering everywhere. Ren collapsed onto her knees in the dirt, burying her face in her hands, her shoulders shaking with violent, heaving sobs.
Syris and Viper scrambled to their feet, alarm written all over their faces.
“Ren?” Syris rushed to her, kneeling beside. “What happened? Are you hurt? Where is the Tiger?”
He reached out to touch her, but Ren flung herself at him. She gripped his snakeskin robes with desperate, clawing fingers. She buried her face in his chest—strategically blocking his nose from smelling anything below her neck—and howled like a banshee.
“He’s gone!” she screamed into his lapels, soaking the fabric with tears and snot. “Oh god, Syris, he’s gone!”
“Who is gone?” Syris asked, his voice tight with confusion. “Kael? Did the madness take him?”
Ren pulled back slightly, tears streaming down her face, her eyes red and puffy. She looked like a wreck. It was perfect.
“It was horrible!” Ren choked out, gasping for air between sobs. “We were just walking… I was looking for mushrooms… I found a really nice stick… and then…”
She let out a loud, shuddering sob that sounded like a dying seal.
“Then what?!” Viper demanded, stepping closer.
“A butterfly!” Ren yelled, throwing her hands up. “A giant, blue, glowing butterfly! But it wasn’t just a butterfly… I think it was a demon! It had eyes on its wings!”
Syris blinked, completely baffled. “A… butterfly?”
“Kael saw it!” Ren continued, waving her hands wildly to paint the picture. “He just… he snapped! The madness took over instantly! His eyes went completely red! He roared at the sky like he was challenging the gods themselves! I tried to grab him! I tried to hold him back! I held onto his tail!”
She showed them her hands, which were dirty from the firewood (but to them, they looked like struggle marks from dragging across the forest floor).
“But he was too strong!” Ren wept, throwing her head back dramatically, channeling every ounce of tragic heroine energy she possessed. “He pushed me away! He looked at me with eyes full of sorrow, as if to say ’Goodbye, my love, I must chase the shiny thing!’ and then he just… he ran!”
She pointed vaguely toward the darkest, deepest part of the forest.
“He ran into the darkness!” Ren sobbed, clutching her chest as if her heart were physically breaking. “He chose the wilderness! He abandoned me! My husband! My poor, feral kitty! He’s gone, Syris! He’s gone forever!”
She collapsed back against Syris, wailing loudly enough to scare the birds out of the trees and, hopefully, loud enough to distract the Snake King from the fact that she smelled like she had just been thoroughly seduced against an oak tree.
Source: Webnovel.com, updated by NovelKeep
Chapters
- Chapter 315: A Royal Dishwasher
- Chapter 314: Bia and Las
- Chapter 313: Born to Fish
- Chapter 312: A Shy Turtle Leaves The Shell
- Chapter 311: Let’s Talk Family
- Chapter 310: The First Time**
- Chapter 309: Looking for Wood*
- Chapter 308: Bait, Tackle, and Naughty*
- Chapter 307: The Big Bad Scaredy-Fox
- Chapter 306: A Feral Bun in the Oven
- Chapter 305: My Baby Beast
- Chapter 304: Just Pop an Egg and Go
- Chapter 303: Exclusive Fried Chicken
- Chapter 302: The Great Swamp Crab Boil
- Chapter 301: Get It Together, Chef
- Chapter 300: Under a Walnut Tree
- Chapter 299: Secret in the Sauce
- Chapter 298: This Lazy Snake
- Chapter 297: A Pool of Sunken Treasures
- Chapter 296: Dual Penetration**
- Chapter 295: The Jealous Monster**
- Chapter 294: The System Made Me Do It
- Chapter 293: Second to None**
- Chapter 292: Three Restaurants, Three Menus**
- Chapter 291: Warm Sweet Fur Bed**
- Chapter 290: Three Big Problems To Solve**
- Chapter 289: Good Behavior Gets Rewarded*
- Chapter 288: Do Not Fret, My Delicate Host
- Chapter 287: A Battle of Proportions
- Chapter 286: His Royal Highness
- Chapter 285: A Sneaky Fugitive in the Swamp
- Chapter 284: Brothers, Birds, and Beasts
- Chapter 283: The Eagle Wears It Better
- Chapter 282: Our Butts Are Not The Same
- Chapter 281: He Doesn’t Know He Looks Like a Greek God
- Chapter 280: The Early Bird Gets the Bath
- Chapter 279: Spank Me Snake Daddy**
- Chapter 278: The Prettiest in All the Land
- Chapter 277: A Mummy Beast Husband*
- Chapter 276: My Genie System
- Chapter 275: The Beast at the Top of the Food Chain
- Chapter 274: Thinking Too Far Outside the Box
- Chapter 273: Fat, Pink and Wiggly
- Chapter 272: Is This What a Stroke Feels Like?
- Chapter 271: Blind Leading Blind
- Chapter 270: Snake King’s Cuddle Buddy
- Chapter 269: An Unwanted Plus One
- Chapter 268: Very Different Husbands*
- Chapter 267: A Lesson in Lip Service
- Chapter 266: My Sweet Bird
- Chapter 265: Mating is Completely Natural**
- Chapter 264: Candidates for Baby Daddy
- Chapter 263: A Very Bad Time for More Stress
- Chapter 262: He Wasn’t Always a Sneaky Fox
- Chapter 261: Trust Me Tigress
- Chapter 260: A Shady Entrepreneur
- Chapter 259: The Sins are Stacked
- Chapter 258: Not Just Any Beastly Affair**
- Chapter 257: A Masochist in the Beast World
- Chapter 256: The Walnut Menace
- Chapter 255: Gospel of the Prehistoric Panda Cult
- Chapter 254: The Beastly Bob Ross
- Chapter 253: No Dirty Paws in my Kitchen!
- Chapter 252: Even Butchering is Art
- Chapter 251: Lions, and Tigers, and Liars
- Chapter 250: Why Can’t We All Just Get Along?
- Chapter 249: The Team Behind the Chef
- Chapter 248: My Astrology System
- Chapter 247: My Mittens Forever!
- Chapter 246: Handsome and Insatiable Combo**
- Chapter 245: Wild Animals in the Grass**
- Chapter 244: Masseuse in Another World**
- Chapter 243: One of Them is a Monster
- Chapter 242: Fifty Shades of Feral
- Chapter 241: A Gorey Nightmare
- Chapter 240: A Curious Kitty
- Chapter 239: A Hungry Tiger is a Weak Tiger*
- Chapter 238: The King of Fair Play
- Chapter 237: Campaign Manager Kael?
- Chapter 236: There are Dictators Here Too
- Chapter 235: The Chef Has a Cult
- Chapter 234: A Clan of Karens
- Chapter 233: System Shop Made in China
- Chapter 232: Pied Piper of Stew
- Chapter 231: Every Good Harem Needs a Bad Boy
- Chapter 230: Baby Monsters
- Chapter 229: Lie to the Liar of Liars
- Chapter 228: Life-Ruining Blank Checks
- Chapter 227: Two Favors
- Chapter 226: The Flower Moon is Coming*
- Chapter 225: Pretty Little Birdy in the Tree
- Chapter 224: The Most Spiteful System
- Chapter 223: Then There Were Two**
- Chapter 222: Ren’s Hands are Full**
- Chapter 221: The Chef is a Dine-and-Dasher
- Chapter 220: Beastmen Hungry for Knowledge**
- Chapter 219: What Happens in the Forest...
- Chapter 218: The Worst Possible Time for a Meet-and-Greet
- Chapter 217: Hop in the Bird’s Nest
- Chapter 216: Loincloth Learning Curve
- Chapter 215: Confessions of a Guilty Sinner
- Chapter 214: A Scandal in the Sky
- Chapter 213: Eagles Catch Things Right?
- Chapter 212: Island Jerk Elk Bites
- Chapter 211: The Red-Haired Butcher
- Chapter 210: Breeding Games of the Beast World
- Chapter 209: Meat in a Predator Sandwich**
- Chapter 208: A Third Dip For Good Measure**
- Chapter 207: Double Dipping in White Sauce**
- Chapter 206: A Different Kind of Wood
- Chapter 205: Custody Arrangements
- Chapter 204 - 50,000 Point Group Hug
- Chapter 203: From Hero to Zero
- Chapter 202: To Be Brave is to First Be a Coward
- Chapter 201: A Detailed Customer Review**
- Chapter 200: The Tiger Beast Inside
- Chapter 199: Tiger Stripes
- Chapter 198: The Versace of the Jungle
- Chapter 197: Climbing Mount Hottie**
- Chapter 196: I Have A Dream
- Chapter 195: The Moon Goddess Made Me Do It
- Chapter 194: But Why Choose?
- Chapter 193: Sleeping Beauty and the Little Monster
- Chapter 192: The Most Useful and Loving System
- Chapter 191: The Parkour Pig Returns
- Chapter 190: Catch of the Day
- Chapter 189: Get That Pig!
- Chapter 188: A Big Chicken For the Chef
- Chapter 187: A Proud Wife
- Chapter 186: Nudist Colony of One
- Chapter 185: Goodbye, Bird Chad
- Chapter 184: United Nations of Hotness*
- Chapter 183: Some Skeletons Should Stay in the Closet
- Chapter 182: The Prince of Prudes*
- Chapter 181: A Hands-On Approach**
- Chapter 180: The Lessons Continue
- Chapter 179: From Chef to Professor
- Chapter 178: Sex Ed. 101*
- Chapter 177: A Hard Problem to Solve
- Chapter 176: What’s Wrong With Friends With Benefits?
- Chapter 175: A Glorified Pigeon
- Chapter 174: Nude Buddies in a Cave
- Chapter 173: Naked Gourmet: Tree Edition
- Chapter 172: Gourmet in the Wild (For Real)
- Chapter 171: Oh Sweet Frying Pan
- Chapter 170: And How Does That Make You Feel?
- Chapter 169: Must Be a Male
- Chapter 168: Mother knows best?
- Chapter 167: Navigation for Dummies
- Chapter 166: Bonnie and Clyde were Foxes
- Chapter 165: Two Kings and a Funeral
- Chapter 164: Pending Operation Besties
- Chapter 163: Scent of an Empty Nest
- Chapter 162 - 13 Moons
- Chapter 161: The Red Dragon Chef
- Chapter 160: Lather, Rinse, Slap, Repeat
- Chapter 159: Soap Sommelier
- Chapter 158: Magic Tricks in the Bath
- Chapter 157: Beware of Man-Eating Bacteria
- Chapter 156: Feral but Functional
- Chapter 155: Not the Face!
- Chapter 154: Prince Charming Stays Clean
- Chapter 153: Wake Up Scream!
- Chapter 152: Chivalry of a Sulking Knight
- Chapter 151: A Great Distraction
- Chapter 150: Public Enemy Number One
- Chapter 149: Toxic Herbs and Toxic Masculinity
- Chapter 148: Kung Fu Nightmare
- Chapter 147: Naked, Sick, and Furious
- Chapter 146: With Friends like These
- Chapter 145: Wonder Tigerwoman
- Chapter 144: Skinny Dipping?
- Chapter 143: Homecoming from Hell
- Chapter 142: Piggyback Through the Jungle
- Chapter 141: The High Price of Friendship
- Chapter 140: Mama Bird Fox
- Chapter 139: The Birds and the Bees
- Chapter 138: Alpha Beauty Pageant
- Chapter 137: Exclusive Murder Rights
- Chapter 136: A Fallen King
- Chapter 135: Rumble in the Jungle
- Chapter 134: A Crown of Blood
- Chapter 133: The Wicked Witch of the Wastelands
- Chapter 132: The Enemy Within
- Chapter 131: King of Ruins
- Chapter 130: The Art of War
- Chapter 129: Good Morning, Kitty
- Chapter 128: A Serpent’s Murderous Intent
- Chapter 127: Golden Gaze**
- Chapter 126: True Love’s Mating**
- Chapter 125: Sandpaper Kisses**
- Chapter 124: A Predator’s Awakening**
- Chapter 123: Both Beast and Beastman
- Chapter 122: The Anchor and the Beast
- Chapter 121: The Root of Blind Faith
- Chapter 120: Big Cat in the Tree
- Chapter 119: Do Not Panic!
- Chapter 118: Welcome to the Foxhole
- Chapter 117: Drafty Nether Regions
- Chapter 116: The View from the Bottom
- Chapter 115: She Wasn’t the Only One?
- Chapter 114: Goldilocks Cock
- Chapter 113: Midnight Ride on the Fox Express
- Chapter 112: A Mermaid in the Moonlight
- Chapter 111: Frozen Naked Ninja
- Chapter 110: Taming the Twin Serpents**
- Chapter 109: I Say No To Fishy Kisses
- Chapter 108: Moral Dilemma of a Bad Liar
- Chapter 107: Happy Snake
- Chapter 106: The Oscar Goes To...
- Chapter 105: The Fox’s Proposal
- Chapter 104: A Fair Trade
- Chapter 103: The Fox’s Trap
- Chapter 102: The Ghost in the Forest
- Chapter 101: It’s Not Poison
- Chapter 100: The Snake in the Grass
- Chapter 99: Hot Noodles
- Chapter 98: New Fear Unlocked
- Chapter 97: Fast and Furious: Swamp Drift
- Chapter 96: Swamp Alien Invasion
- Chapter 95: Dora Would Never
- Chapter 94: Navigation of Vibes
- Chapter 93: Sugar Daddy Snake
- Chapter 92: The System is a Pervert
- Chapter 91: Debt Collector in My Head
- Chapter 90: A Beast World Fairytale
- Chapter 89: That Capitalist Fox
- Chapter 88: Three Stages
- Chapter 87: Soup of Clarity
- Chapter 86: It’s Magic!
- Chapter 85: Two Kings, One Tub
- Chapter 84: Here Kitty, Kitty
- Chapter 83: The King’s Hospitality
- Chapter 82: A Bloody Kitchen Nightmare
- Chapter 81: Provider of Two
- Chapter 80: The Stamina of a King**
- Chapter 79: Purifying the Palate**
- Chapter 78: The Wettest Dream
- Chapter 77: A Very Vivid Dream**
- Chapter 76: Tiny Hands
- Chapter 75: Taste of the Chef
- Chapter 74: Feeding Time
- Chapter 73: Kitchen Nightmares (Swamp Edition)
- Chapter 72: A Mating Dance?
- Chapter 71: Grocery Shopping in the Garden
- Chapter 70: The Scullery Drill Sergeant
- Chapter 69: Overly Helping Hands
- Chapter 68: Double Trouble
- Chapter 67: Nose Candy
- Chapter 66: Cast Iron Concussion
- Chapter 65: Cantonese Snake Soup
- Chapter 64: The Royal Rumble
- Chapter 63: Poly-Problems
- Chapter 62: Godzilla vs. Kong (Swamp Edition)
- Chapter 61: Tiger at the Gates
- Chapter 60: A Very Loud System Update
- Chapter 59: Medical Treatment*
- Chapter 58: Sweating it Out
- Chapter 57: Expensive Appetizer
- Chapter 56: The Jealous Viper’s Trap
- Chapter 55: Frog Confessional
- Chapter 54: The Sacred Bath
- Chapter 53: Cold Fish and Colder Shoulders
- Chapter 52: The Snake and the Forbidden Fruit
- Chapter 51: The Coldest Shoulder
- Chapter 50: Cellmates
- Chapter 49: The King’s Soft Spot
- Chapter 48: The King’s Heartbreak
- Chapter 47: Couture de Crisis
- Chapter 46: Poison is a Condiment
- Chapter 45: Streaker of the Swamp
- Chapter 44: The Floor is Lava (Except it’s Snakes)
- Chapter 43: The Ghost and the Grope
- Chapter 42: The Order of the Fried Chicken
- Chapter 41: Grief is a Great Cockblock
- Chapter 40: The Dream Puff Nightmare
- Chapter 39: To-Do List of Doom
- Chapter 38: He wants the foam
- Chapter 37: Crocodile Tears
- Chapter 36: A sleazy con artist
- Chapter 35: Boyfriend Shirt
- Chapter 34: The Forked Tongue Technique**
- Chapter 33: Two Sword Style
- Chapter 32: The Knot
- Chapter 31: Serpent’s Fang
- Chapter 30: A Very Confused Palate
- Chapter 29: Sticky Fingers and Sweet Gold
- Chapter 28: The Great Shedding
- Chapter 27: Human Burrito
- Chapter 26: Hell’s Kitchen (Reptile Edition)
- Chapter 25: Polishing the Python
- Chapter 24: The Kitty Has Claws
- Chapter 23: Goth Dungeon of Doom
- Chapter 22: Mud-Pit Bistro
- Chapter 21: Human Hot Water Bottle
- Chapter 20: The Fog vs the Frying Pan
- Chapter 19: The Art of War and Bamboo
- Chapter 18: Cold Scales and Broken Hearts
- Chapter 17: The Dog Park from Hell
- Chapter 16: The Structural Integrity Test**
- Chapter 15: The Midnight Snack Attack
- Chapter 14: Project Dream Home
- Chapter 13: Wet Cats and Jealousy
- Chapter 12: The Snake King’s Temperature
- Chapter 11: Riding the Tiger
- Chapter 10: Paws, Purrs, and Panic
- Chapter 9: The BBQ Queen
- Chapter 8: I Am Not a chew Toy
- Chapter 7: Bubbles and Beastmen
- Chapter 6: The Bitch and the Bird
- Chapter 5: The Royal Jewels
- Chapter 4: The Alpha’s Loincloth
- Chapter 3: Oh No, He’s Hot
- Chapter 2: The First Bite
- Chapter 1: Michelin Star to Cat Food