Chapter 182: The Prince of Prudes*
Ren’s breath hitched, caught somewhere between her throat and her racing heart.
Before she could ask what he wanted to try, Altair moved. He acted on his curiosity.
He slid one long finger inside her slick opening.
“Oh,” Ren gasped, her hips arching off the moss instinctively to meet him.
He didn’t frantically pump. He didn’t rush. He studied her face with the intensity of a surgeon operating a life-or-death procedure, watching her pupils dilate and her lips part as he thrust his finger in and out. Slowly. Deliberately. Testing the friction. Testing the depth.
“Mmmph,” Ren whimpered, her hands gripping his biceps. Her body was hot, eager, and demanding. She wanted more. She wanted him to move faster. She wanted him to add a second finger. She wanted—
Pop.
Suddenly, the sensation was gone.
Altair removed his finger.
Ren’s eyes snapped open, her body crashing down from the precipice of pleasure like a stone dropped in a well.
Altair was sitting back on his heels. He was holding his hand up to the firelight, caressing the wetness on his index finger with his thumb, his gaze entirely focused on the viscosity and stickiness of it.
Ren sat up on her elbows, her chest heaving, her hair a wild mess around her face. She looked at him with a frown that was 10% confusion and 90% sexual frustration.
“Why…” Ren wheezed. “Why did you stop?”
Altair looked at her. His silver eyes were dark, his pupils blown wide. He took a ragged breath.
“I am aroused,” he stated matter-of-factly.
Then, he stood up and climbed out of the nest.
He looked down at her one last time, his expression unreadable.
“Friends do not mate,” he said simply.
And then—
FLASH.
“OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!” Ren shrieked, throwing her arm over her eyes as the blinding golden light exploded in the hollow for the fourth time that night.
“WARNINGS!” Ren yelled at the afterimage burning into her retinas. “Start giving warnings! Please!”
When she cautiously peeled one eye open, the handsome, naked Adonis was gone.
In his place stood the massive Golden Eagle. He was perched at the entrance of the hollow, his feathered back turned resolutely toward her, staring out into the rain.
Ren stared at his tail feathers.
“Unbelievable,” she whispered. “I just got blue-balled by a bird. Using my own line against me.”
Ren flopped back onto the moss. Her breathing slowly calmed down, and the adrenaline faded, but the aching need between her thighs was still thrumming, a persistent reminder of what almost happened.
She sighed, staring at the ceiling.
“It’s for the best,” Ren muttered, trying to convince her libido. “This entire evening was a big mistake. I shouldn’t have crossed that line. I am a married woman. Twice over. I have enough problems.”
But it was a little late for regrets.
Ren sat up, wrapping her arms around her knees. She looked over at the bark plates they had abandoned in the heat of the moment.
Her plate was licked clean. But Altair’s plate still had a sad, cold mound of white rice and sautéed swamp kale.
Ren clicked her tongue. “Tch. Stubborn bird.”
She went over to the food. It was definitely cold now. The curry sauce had congealed slightly, and the rice was stiff. But Ren hated to waste food.
She picked up the chopsticks.
’Waste not, want not,’ Ren grumbled internally.
She quietly ate the rest of the food, mixing the cold rice with the kale. She chewed mechanically, trying desperately not to think about how good his hand had felt. Or how warm his skin was. Or the fact that he was currently sitting ten feet away, probably looking majestic and brooding.
Ren tried to think about other things. The weather. Her lovely frying pan. The impending war between her husbands.
But all her thoughts led back to the inexperienced, confusing bird beastman.
Chew. Swallow.
’Hey,’ Ren thought, a sudden memory surfacing. ’System.’
[System: Present.]
’You promised,’ Ren reminded it, stabbing a chopstick at the air. ’You said you would tell me more about Altair if I taught him something. Well, I taught him. I taught him a lot. Probably too much.’
[System: You certainly did.]
’Shut up,’ Ren snapped. ’Pay up. Tell me about him.’
[System: The preferred topic was sex, but I will honor the deal. Your lesson has earned you the following unlockable content.]
The blue screen flickered.
[Subject: Altair. Golden Eagle Prince. Status: Very, very, very far from home.]
Ren stopped chewing. A piece of kale hung from her lip.
’He’s like… actual royalty? A crown and everything?’ Ren thought, staring at the back of the bird’s head.
And then the second part hit her. Very, very, very far from home.
’Where is he from?’ Ren screamed internally, her curiosity instantly spiking to dangerous levels. ’Why is he here? Why is he so far away? Is he in trouble? Did he run away? Is he an exile?’
She leaned forward, staring at the bird as if she could X-ray his backstory.
’I need to know,’ Ren hissed in her mind. ’System, tell me more.’
[System: That is all the data available for this transaction.]
’Oh, come on!’ Ren groaned. ’I hate slow burns! I am a spoiler junkie!’
When Ren reads a book, she reads the last page first. She googles the killer before the opening credits roll.
’You can’t just drop ’Prince’ and ’Far From Home’ and leave me hanging!’
Ren continued to eat the cold rice, mixing it aggressively with the congealed gravy. She waited for the System to cave. She waited for a bonus fact.
Silence.
’Is that it?’ Ren thought incredulously. ’I spread my legs for a guy I basically just met, and this is all I get? Two sentences?’
[System: Please. Do not act like you spread your legs for the information. You spread your legs because he is hot and you have zero impulse control.]
Ren gasped aloud at the audacity.
[System: Do not blame me for your desire, Host. I am just a floating blue screen. Or a voice in your head. You could ignore me if you really wanted to. You are the one who grabbed his wrist.]
’You…’ Ren started. ’You are playing the victim? You? The entity that manipulates my entire existence?’
She gestured wildly with her chopsticks.
’You know everything! You see alternate timelines! You see the future! You are omniscient and omnipotent! If you really wanted to, you could have guided me away from almost all the horrible situations I have found myself in! You could have said, “Ren, don’t go left, there is a wild bear there” But no!’
[System: Where is the fun in that?]
’Fun?!’ Ren cried internally. ’My life is not a reality TV show!’
[System: It technically is. For me.]
’I should make my own decisions,’ Ren mocked the System’s previous advice. ’But look where my decisions get me! My decisions are trash! They lead to worse decisions and the worst situations!’
Ren huffed, shoveling the last of the rice into her mouth.
’I should be suspended,’ Ren declared. ’My decision-making privileges should be revoked until I have better self-control. Just pilot me like a Gundam.’
[System: Denied. You are doing just fine, Host. Life is boring without a few bad decisions and risks. Admit it, you enjoy the thrill.]
Ren swallowed the cold rice. She glared at the floating blue box.
Source: Webnovel.com, updated by NovelKeep
Chapters
- Chapter 315: A Royal Dishwasher
- Chapter 314: Bia and Las
- Chapter 313: Born to Fish
- Chapter 312: A Shy Turtle Leaves The Shell
- Chapter 311: Let’s Talk Family
- Chapter 310: The First Time**
- Chapter 309: Looking for Wood*
- Chapter 308: Bait, Tackle, and Naughty*
- Chapter 307: The Big Bad Scaredy-Fox
- Chapter 306: A Feral Bun in the Oven
- Chapter 305: My Baby Beast
- Chapter 304: Just Pop an Egg and Go
- Chapter 303: Exclusive Fried Chicken
- Chapter 302: The Great Swamp Crab Boil
- Chapter 301: Get It Together, Chef
- Chapter 300: Under a Walnut Tree
- Chapter 299: Secret in the Sauce
- Chapter 298: This Lazy Snake
- Chapter 297: A Pool of Sunken Treasures
- Chapter 296: Dual Penetration**
- Chapter 295: The Jealous Monster**
- Chapter 294: The System Made Me Do It
- Chapter 293: Second to None**
- Chapter 292: Three Restaurants, Three Menus**
- Chapter 291: Warm Sweet Fur Bed**
- Chapter 290: Three Big Problems To Solve**
- Chapter 289: Good Behavior Gets Rewarded*
- Chapter 288: Do Not Fret, My Delicate Host
- Chapter 287: A Battle of Proportions
- Chapter 286: His Royal Highness
- Chapter 285: A Sneaky Fugitive in the Swamp
- Chapter 284: Brothers, Birds, and Beasts
- Chapter 283: The Eagle Wears It Better
- Chapter 282: Our Butts Are Not The Same
- Chapter 281: He Doesn’t Know He Looks Like a Greek God
- Chapter 280: The Early Bird Gets the Bath
- Chapter 279: Spank Me Snake Daddy**
- Chapter 278: The Prettiest in All the Land
- Chapter 277: A Mummy Beast Husband*
- Chapter 276: My Genie System
- Chapter 275: The Beast at the Top of the Food Chain
- Chapter 274: Thinking Too Far Outside the Box
- Chapter 273: Fat, Pink and Wiggly
- Chapter 272: Is This What a Stroke Feels Like?
- Chapter 271: Blind Leading Blind
- Chapter 270: Snake King’s Cuddle Buddy
- Chapter 269: An Unwanted Plus One
- Chapter 268: Very Different Husbands*
- Chapter 267: A Lesson in Lip Service
- Chapter 266: My Sweet Bird
- Chapter 265: Mating is Completely Natural**
- Chapter 264: Candidates for Baby Daddy
- Chapter 263: A Very Bad Time for More Stress
- Chapter 262: He Wasn’t Always a Sneaky Fox
- Chapter 261: Trust Me Tigress
- Chapter 260: A Shady Entrepreneur
- Chapter 259: The Sins are Stacked
- Chapter 258: Not Just Any Beastly Affair**
- Chapter 257: A Masochist in the Beast World
- Chapter 256: The Walnut Menace
- Chapter 255: Gospel of the Prehistoric Panda Cult
- Chapter 254: The Beastly Bob Ross
- Chapter 253: No Dirty Paws in my Kitchen!
- Chapter 252: Even Butchering is Art
- Chapter 251: Lions, and Tigers, and Liars
- Chapter 250: Why Can’t We All Just Get Along?
- Chapter 249: The Team Behind the Chef
- Chapter 248: My Astrology System
- Chapter 247: My Mittens Forever!
- Chapter 246: Handsome and Insatiable Combo**
- Chapter 245: Wild Animals in the Grass**
- Chapter 244: Masseuse in Another World**
- Chapter 243: One of Them is a Monster
- Chapter 242: Fifty Shades of Feral
- Chapter 241: A Gorey Nightmare
- Chapter 240: A Curious Kitty
- Chapter 239: A Hungry Tiger is a Weak Tiger*
- Chapter 238: The King of Fair Play
- Chapter 237: Campaign Manager Kael?
- Chapter 236: There are Dictators Here Too
- Chapter 235: The Chef Has a Cult
- Chapter 234: A Clan of Karens
- Chapter 233: System Shop Made in China
- Chapter 232: Pied Piper of Stew
- Chapter 231: Every Good Harem Needs a Bad Boy
- Chapter 230: Baby Monsters
- Chapter 229: Lie to the Liar of Liars
- Chapter 228: Life-Ruining Blank Checks
- Chapter 227: Two Favors
- Chapter 226: The Flower Moon is Coming*
- Chapter 225: Pretty Little Birdy in the Tree
- Chapter 224: The Most Spiteful System
- Chapter 223: Then There Were Two**
- Chapter 222: Ren’s Hands are Full**
- Chapter 221: The Chef is a Dine-and-Dasher
- Chapter 220: Beastmen Hungry for Knowledge**
- Chapter 219: What Happens in the Forest...
- Chapter 218: The Worst Possible Time for a Meet-and-Greet
- Chapter 217: Hop in the Bird’s Nest
- Chapter 216: Loincloth Learning Curve
- Chapter 215: Confessions of a Guilty Sinner
- Chapter 214: A Scandal in the Sky
- Chapter 213: Eagles Catch Things Right?
- Chapter 212: Island Jerk Elk Bites
- Chapter 211: The Red-Haired Butcher
- Chapter 210: Breeding Games of the Beast World
- Chapter 209: Meat in a Predator Sandwich**
- Chapter 208: A Third Dip For Good Measure**
- Chapter 207: Double Dipping in White Sauce**
- Chapter 206: A Different Kind of Wood
- Chapter 205: Custody Arrangements
- Chapter 204 - 50,000 Point Group Hug
- Chapter 203: From Hero to Zero
- Chapter 202: To Be Brave is to First Be a Coward
- Chapter 201: A Detailed Customer Review**
- Chapter 200: The Tiger Beast Inside
- Chapter 199: Tiger Stripes
- Chapter 198: The Versace of the Jungle
- Chapter 197: Climbing Mount Hottie**
- Chapter 196: I Have A Dream
- Chapter 195: The Moon Goddess Made Me Do It
- Chapter 194: But Why Choose?
- Chapter 193: Sleeping Beauty and the Little Monster
- Chapter 192: The Most Useful and Loving System
- Chapter 191: The Parkour Pig Returns
- Chapter 190: Catch of the Day
- Chapter 189: Get That Pig!
- Chapter 188: A Big Chicken For the Chef
- Chapter 187: A Proud Wife
- Chapter 186: Nudist Colony of One
- Chapter 185: Goodbye, Bird Chad
- Chapter 184: United Nations of Hotness*
- Chapter 183: Some Skeletons Should Stay in the Closet
- Chapter 182: The Prince of Prudes*
- Chapter 181: A Hands-On Approach**
- Chapter 180: The Lessons Continue
- Chapter 179: From Chef to Professor
- Chapter 178: Sex Ed. 101*
- Chapter 177: A Hard Problem to Solve
- Chapter 176: What’s Wrong With Friends With Benefits?
- Chapter 175: A Glorified Pigeon
- Chapter 174: Nude Buddies in a Cave
- Chapter 173: Naked Gourmet: Tree Edition
- Chapter 172: Gourmet in the Wild (For Real)
- Chapter 171: Oh Sweet Frying Pan
- Chapter 170: And How Does That Make You Feel?
- Chapter 169: Must Be a Male
- Chapter 168: Mother knows best?
- Chapter 167: Navigation for Dummies
- Chapter 166: Bonnie and Clyde were Foxes
- Chapter 165: Two Kings and a Funeral
- Chapter 164: Pending Operation Besties
- Chapter 163: Scent of an Empty Nest
- Chapter 162 - 13 Moons
- Chapter 161: The Red Dragon Chef
- Chapter 160: Lather, Rinse, Slap, Repeat
- Chapter 159: Soap Sommelier
- Chapter 158: Magic Tricks in the Bath
- Chapter 157: Beware of Man-Eating Bacteria
- Chapter 156: Feral but Functional
- Chapter 155: Not the Face!
- Chapter 154: Prince Charming Stays Clean
- Chapter 153: Wake Up Scream!
- Chapter 152: Chivalry of a Sulking Knight
- Chapter 151: A Great Distraction
- Chapter 150: Public Enemy Number One
- Chapter 149: Toxic Herbs and Toxic Masculinity
- Chapter 148: Kung Fu Nightmare
- Chapter 147: Naked, Sick, and Furious
- Chapter 146: With Friends like These
- Chapter 145: Wonder Tigerwoman
- Chapter 144: Skinny Dipping?
- Chapter 143: Homecoming from Hell
- Chapter 142: Piggyback Through the Jungle
- Chapter 141: The High Price of Friendship
- Chapter 140: Mama Bird Fox
- Chapter 139: The Birds and the Bees
- Chapter 138: Alpha Beauty Pageant
- Chapter 137: Exclusive Murder Rights
- Chapter 136: A Fallen King
- Chapter 135: Rumble in the Jungle
- Chapter 134: A Crown of Blood
- Chapter 133: The Wicked Witch of the Wastelands
- Chapter 132: The Enemy Within
- Chapter 131: King of Ruins
- Chapter 130: The Art of War
- Chapter 129: Good Morning, Kitty
- Chapter 128: A Serpent’s Murderous Intent
- Chapter 127: Golden Gaze**
- Chapter 126: True Love’s Mating**
- Chapter 125: Sandpaper Kisses**
- Chapter 124: A Predator’s Awakening**
- Chapter 123: Both Beast and Beastman
- Chapter 122: The Anchor and the Beast
- Chapter 121: The Root of Blind Faith
- Chapter 120: Big Cat in the Tree
- Chapter 119: Do Not Panic!
- Chapter 118: Welcome to the Foxhole
- Chapter 117: Drafty Nether Regions
- Chapter 116: The View from the Bottom
- Chapter 115: She Wasn’t the Only One?
- Chapter 114: Goldilocks Cock
- Chapter 113: Midnight Ride on the Fox Express
- Chapter 112: A Mermaid in the Moonlight
- Chapter 111: Frozen Naked Ninja
- Chapter 110: Taming the Twin Serpents**
- Chapter 109: I Say No To Fishy Kisses
- Chapter 108: Moral Dilemma of a Bad Liar
- Chapter 107: Happy Snake
- Chapter 106: The Oscar Goes To...
- Chapter 105: The Fox’s Proposal
- Chapter 104: A Fair Trade
- Chapter 103: The Fox’s Trap
- Chapter 102: The Ghost in the Forest
- Chapter 101: It’s Not Poison
- Chapter 100: The Snake in the Grass
- Chapter 99: Hot Noodles
- Chapter 98: New Fear Unlocked
- Chapter 97: Fast and Furious: Swamp Drift
- Chapter 96: Swamp Alien Invasion
- Chapter 95: Dora Would Never
- Chapter 94: Navigation of Vibes
- Chapter 93: Sugar Daddy Snake
- Chapter 92: The System is a Pervert
- Chapter 91: Debt Collector in My Head
- Chapter 90: A Beast World Fairytale
- Chapter 89: That Capitalist Fox
- Chapter 88: Three Stages
- Chapter 87: Soup of Clarity
- Chapter 86: It’s Magic!
- Chapter 85: Two Kings, One Tub
- Chapter 84: Here Kitty, Kitty
- Chapter 83: The King’s Hospitality
- Chapter 82: A Bloody Kitchen Nightmare
- Chapter 81: Provider of Two
- Chapter 80: The Stamina of a King**
- Chapter 79: Purifying the Palate**
- Chapter 78: The Wettest Dream
- Chapter 77: A Very Vivid Dream**
- Chapter 76: Tiny Hands
- Chapter 75: Taste of the Chef
- Chapter 74: Feeding Time
- Chapter 73: Kitchen Nightmares (Swamp Edition)
- Chapter 72: A Mating Dance?
- Chapter 71: Grocery Shopping in the Garden
- Chapter 70: The Scullery Drill Sergeant
- Chapter 69: Overly Helping Hands
- Chapter 68: Double Trouble
- Chapter 67: Nose Candy
- Chapter 66: Cast Iron Concussion
- Chapter 65: Cantonese Snake Soup
- Chapter 64: The Royal Rumble
- Chapter 63: Poly-Problems
- Chapter 62: Godzilla vs. Kong (Swamp Edition)
- Chapter 61: Tiger at the Gates
- Chapter 60: A Very Loud System Update
- Chapter 59: Medical Treatment*
- Chapter 58: Sweating it Out
- Chapter 57: Expensive Appetizer
- Chapter 56: The Jealous Viper’s Trap
- Chapter 55: Frog Confessional
- Chapter 54: The Sacred Bath
- Chapter 53: Cold Fish and Colder Shoulders
- Chapter 52: The Snake and the Forbidden Fruit
- Chapter 51: The Coldest Shoulder
- Chapter 50: Cellmates
- Chapter 49: The King’s Soft Spot
- Chapter 48: The King’s Heartbreak
- Chapter 47: Couture de Crisis
- Chapter 46: Poison is a Condiment
- Chapter 45: Streaker of the Swamp
- Chapter 44: The Floor is Lava (Except it’s Snakes)
- Chapter 43: The Ghost and the Grope
- Chapter 42: The Order of the Fried Chicken
- Chapter 41: Grief is a Great Cockblock
- Chapter 40: The Dream Puff Nightmare
- Chapter 39: To-Do List of Doom
- Chapter 38: He wants the foam
- Chapter 37: Crocodile Tears
- Chapter 36: A sleazy con artist
- Chapter 35: Boyfriend Shirt
- Chapter 34: The Forked Tongue Technique**
- Chapter 33: Two Sword Style
- Chapter 32: The Knot
- Chapter 31: Serpent’s Fang
- Chapter 30: A Very Confused Palate
- Chapter 29: Sticky Fingers and Sweet Gold
- Chapter 28: The Great Shedding
- Chapter 27: Human Burrito
- Chapter 26: Hell’s Kitchen (Reptile Edition)
- Chapter 25: Polishing the Python
- Chapter 24: The Kitty Has Claws
- Chapter 23: Goth Dungeon of Doom
- Chapter 22: Mud-Pit Bistro
- Chapter 21: Human Hot Water Bottle
- Chapter 20: The Fog vs the Frying Pan
- Chapter 19: The Art of War and Bamboo
- Chapter 18: Cold Scales and Broken Hearts
- Chapter 17: The Dog Park from Hell
- Chapter 16: The Structural Integrity Test**
- Chapter 15: The Midnight Snack Attack
- Chapter 14: Project Dream Home
- Chapter 13: Wet Cats and Jealousy
- Chapter 12: The Snake King’s Temperature
- Chapter 11: Riding the Tiger
- Chapter 10: Paws, Purrs, and Panic
- Chapter 9: The BBQ Queen
- Chapter 8: I Am Not a chew Toy
- Chapter 7: Bubbles and Beastmen
- Chapter 6: The Bitch and the Bird
- Chapter 5: The Royal Jewels
- Chapter 4: The Alpha’s Loincloth
- Chapter 3: Oh No, He’s Hot
- Chapter 2: The First Bite
- Chapter 1: Michelin Star to Cat Food