Chapter 251: Lions, and Tigers, and Liars

Ren stood with her hands on her hips, staring down at the five freshly hunted animals Kaelen’s team had just unceremoniously dumped into the grass.

They were bizarre, prehistoric-looking creatures. One resembled a six-legged wild turkey. Another looked like a wild boar, but with thick, impenetrable armadillo-like scales. The third was a bulky, horned creature that looked like a miniature bison crossed with a goat.

The fourth was incredibly long and serpentine, but completely covered in short, velvet-like fur. And the fifth… honestly, the fifth just looked like a giant, suspiciously plump rabbit-frog hybrid.

More importantly, they weren’t very big. To properly feed this calorie-burning workforce, she was definitely going to need to prepare all five.

’I could make it buffet style,’ Ren thought, her culinary gears rapidly clicking into place.

It had been a while since she had done a proper buffet. Not since her early catering days when she had to feed two hundred rowdy wedding guests all at once.

A massive, self-serve feast would be the absolute most efficient way to get these hungry beastmen fed and back to work before another turf war broke out.

Ren completely zoned out, her green eyes narrowing as she entered her chef headspace. She just stared at the five carcasses, her hands moving in the air as if she were mentally chopping vegetables and adjusting invisible heat dials.

“Okay, let’s break this down,” Ren began muttering rapidly to herself, pacing back and forth in front of the raw meat.

“The six-legged turkey thing… I could do a buttermilk brine and deep-fry it, but that requires way too much oil for a crowd this size. Better to slow-roast it over an open flame. I’ll buy some butter from the System, whip it with wild garlic and crushed peppercorns, rub it completely under the skin, and stuff the cavity with spiced rice to soak up the drippings.”

She pointed at the armadillo-pig. “The scales on that pig-thing are thick. They could actually act like a natural Dutch oven to trap the heat. If I carefully score the belly meat, I can braise it in dark soy sauce, star anise, ginger, and a little brown sugar. Let it simmer in the cauldron for a few hours until the connective tissue completely melts and it just falls apart. Beast World pulled pork!”

She moved down the line, her hands flying as she formulated her battle plan. “The mini-bison is definitely going to be tough. Lots of working muscle. That needs a heavy, low-and-slow stew to break down the proteins. I’ll sear big chunks of it first to build a nice fond at the bottom of the pot, deglaze it, and do a classic Bourguignon style—thick flour roux, heavy root vegetables, and maybe some vinegar for acidity to cut the fat.”

Ren squatted down in the grass to inspect the furry snake and the rabbit-frog. “Furry eel… I can fillet that, slice it paper-thin, marinate it in a sweet-and-spicy chili glaze, and sear it hot and fast so it doesn’t get rubbery. Teriyaki stir-fry. And the frog-rabbit…” She tilted her head. “I’ll just grind that up. Mix the minced meat with chopped scallions, garlic, and flour, and make heavy, dense steamed dumplings to stretch the carbs. Plus boiled ground provisions on the side.”

With the System Shop at her absolute disposal, the sky was literally the limit.

“Perfect,” Ren finally announced, snapping her fingers. She had her five-course menu.

She turned and looked across the bustling clearing. She called over the females of the newly formed clan. Currently, they were busying themselves by rushing back and forth with heavy water skins to hydrate the working beastmen, while simultaneously trying and failing to keep the hyperactive cubs from causing absolute chaos around the construction site.

Hearing Ren call for them, the females quickly gathered around her, wiping sweat from their brows and looking at her with wide, expectant eyes.

“Alright, ladies, listen up,” Ren said, clapping her hands together. She pointed to the five animals. “We are doing a massive, high-carb buffet for lunch. I’m making soy-braised pulled pork, a heavy beef-style stew thickened with a roux, a garlic-herb roasted six-legged poultry, sweet-and-spicy seared eel-strips, and savory rabbit-frog dumplings. Got it?”

The females stared at her.

Their expressions were completely, utterly blank. Roux? Soy-braised? Buffet? Dumplings? These were primitive females who were used to slapping a raw hunk of unseasoned meat onto a burning stick until it was black on the outside and bleeding on the inside.

Not wanting to seem incompetent in front of the powerful female, the females all aggressively nodded their heads.

“Do you understand?” Ren asked, raising a skeptical eyebrow.

“Yes!” they answered in unison, forcing bright, entirely unconvincing smiles. “Yes, we understand perfectly!”

Ren let out a heavy sigh. ’Lions, and tigers, and liars, oh my,’ she thought.

She knew they were lying through their teeth. They didn’t understand a single thing she had just said.

But honestly, Ren didn’t have the time to sit down and teach these prehistoric females anything beyond the most mundane, painstakingly simple culinary tasks. If she tried to teach them how to properly fold a dumpling right now, the beastmen would likely starve to death and start eating each other by sunset.

She would just have to do the bulk of the actual cooking herself.

Ren’s attention was suddenly drawn to a loud squeal. A tiny tiger cub and a badger kit were currently wrestling near the edge of the construction zone, completely oblivious to the fact that they were mere inches away from tumbling directly into the deep trench.

“Okay, change of plans,” Ren ordered. She pointed directly at Katleen, who was holding her recovering cub, and then at a heavily pregnant stray female. “You two. You are now the official Caretakers. Your only job is to care for all these cubs and keep them out of trouble. These kids are way too mischievous, and I am terrified one of them is going to fall into the trench.”

Katleen and the pregnant female nodded in immense relief, instantly rushing off to wrangle the tumbling toddlers away from the danger zone.

“As for the rest of you,” Ren said, turning back to the remaining females. “You are my prep cooks. You don’t need to know how to braise. You just need to know how to carry heavy things, fetch water, and wash vegetables.”

Under Ren’s strict, commanding directions, the females helped her finish setting up the massive kitchen space. They hauled heavy, flat rocks to create a sturdy foundation for the pots, gathered a massive pile of dry firewood, and successfully built a roaring, perfectly contained cooking fire right in the center.

When the prep station was finally organized, the cauldrons set, and the ingredients pulled from her inventory, Ren took a deep breath.

She stretched her arms high above her head, rolling her shoulders and cracking her knuckles as she worked the stiffness out of her joints.

“Alright,” Ren said, a confident, fiery smirk touching her lips. “Let’s get to work.”

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