Chapter 70: The Scullery Drill Sergeant

Ren marched into the Scullery, her elbows tucked firmly into her sides to prevent the Red Puffer Coat from riding up and flashing the world. She looked like an angry, determined tomato.

The kitchen was quiet.

Ren’s eyes darted around the room, scanning the stone shelves and the hanging racks. There were drying herbs, strange gourds, and chunks of meat that looked suspiciously like giant rat.

“Okay,” Ren muttered, tapping her chin. “Gumbo. I need the Holy Trinity: celery, bell peppers, onions. I need okra to thicken it. I need stock. I need protein. And I need a roux dark enough to absorb a black hole.”

She looked at the sad assortment of swamp vegetables. There was something that looked like a wrinkled cucumber and a pile of purple roots.

Ding!

[System Alert: Time Check] [Time until Kael wakes up: 1 Hour 10 Minutes.] [Status: You are currently moving at the speed of a sloth.]

“I know!” Ren snapped at the air.

Panic began to rise in her chest. Making a proper Gumbo took time. The roux alone—stirring flour and oil until it turned a deep chocolate brown—took at least twenty minutes of constant attention. Chopping vegetables. Simmering the stock. Hunting the meat.

“I can’t do this,” Ren whispered, her eyes widening. “Unless I learn how to undergo mitosis and split into five people right now, Kael is going to wake up crazy and I’m going to be serving undercooked soup.”

Just as the crushing weight of failure was about to land on her, the heavy wooden door creaked open.

Viper slithered in. Behind him, huddled together like terrified sheep, were Lyssa’s loyal shadows.

They stopped when they saw Ren. They looked at her pale face, her wild red hair, and the giant red coat. Then, their eyes drifted to her right hand, checking for the dreaded Black Iron Pan.

They had been watching from the shadows when she knocked Lyssa out cold.

“The King sent us,” Viper announced.

Ren let out a breath of relief so loud it sounded like a tire deflating. “Oh, thank god. Fresh labor.”

She straightened her spine, channeling the spirit of every angry Head Chef she had ever seen on reality TV.

“Listen up!” Ren barked, causing the harem girls to flinch. “We are on a tight schedule. We have exactly one hour to save the Tiger King’s life. If we fail, he wakes up and eats us. If we succeed, everyone lives. Do you understand?”

The snake women nodded frantically, their silk robes rustling.

“Good. We are making Gumbo,” Ren declared.

The harem girls exchanged confused glances.

“Gum-bo?” the Coral Snake whispered to the Albino.

“It’s a stew,” Ren explained, waving her hand. “It is a thick, spicy, soul-healing stew. And we need ingredients. Now.”

She turned to Viper.

“Viper, I need the meat,” Ren ordered. “Since we are in a swamp, we are going local. I need a crocodile.”

Viper blinked, his yellow eyes widening in disbelief. “You want to… eat one?”

“Yes,” Ren said. “I need the tail meat. It has to be fresh.”

Viper recoiled slightly. “But… they are monstrous.”

In his mind, Viper couldn’t wrap his head around it. Crocodiles weren’t food; they were the garbage disposals of the swamp. They were foul and aggressive. Eating one seemed about as appealing as eating a rock covered in moss.

“It’s basically a tasty chicken that lives in water,” Ren insisted. “Trust me. Go out there and catch one. Preferably a small one. I don’t need a dinosaur, I need tender meat. Go!”

Viper hesitated, disgusted, but he obeyed. “I will bring the… beast.”

He turned and slithered out the door, shaking his head.

Ren spun on the two harem girls. They flinched, huddled close together.

“You,” Ren pointed to the Coral Snake. “I need a pot. A clay pot. Medium-sized.” She gestured with her hands to show the dimensions. “Not too big, not too small. Goldilocks size.”

The Coral Snake stared at her, not moving.

“You,” Ren pointed to the Albino Snake. “Wood. Dry wood. The fire needs to be hot and consistent. If you bring me wet moss, I will scream.”

The two women lingered, looking terrified but also defiant. They were Lyssa’s loyalists. They hated this mammal. They didn’t want to help her save the Tiger.

Ren saw the hesitation. She narrowed her eyes.

“I know what you’re thinking,” Ren said, her voice dropping to a low, dangerous tone. “You’re thinking, ’Why should we listen to her? Lyssa is our leader.’”

The Albino Snake looked down, shifting her weight.

“Well, let me remind you of two things,” Ren said, stepping closer, the red coat rustling ominously. “One: I am the King’s mate. Two: I currently need meat for my soup.”

She leaned in, a wicked glint in her eyes.

“And if you don’t find me the best ingredients in the next five minutes, I might just decide to substitute the crocodile… with snake.”

The color drained from their faces.

“We go! We go now!” they shrieked in unison.

They scrambled over each other to get out the door, their loyalty to Lyssa instantly vaporized by the fear of being stewed.

“Medium pot!” Ren yelled after the Coral Snake. “Dry wood!” she yelled after the Albino.

The kitchen was suddenly empty again.

“Okay,” Ren exhaled, her heart rate stabilizing. “Delegation complete.”

She opened her inventory.

A bag of white flour materialized on the counter. She had the base for the roux.

“Now I just need fire,” Ren muttered, patting the pockets of her puffer coat.

Empty.

“Damn it.”

She froze. Her lighter was back in the Nest.

“I have to go back to the Nest,” Ren groaned. “And I still need fresh greens.”

She looked out the back window of the scullery toward Syris’ sacred garden.

“Garden first,” Ren decided. “Then the Nest. Then the roux. Then the cure.”

She tightened the nonexistent belt of her coat and prepared to sprint.

Ding!

[Countdown Update:] [Time Remaining: 1 Hour 02 Minutes.]

“Move, Ren, move!”

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