Chapter 256: The Walnut Menace

Ren was just about to march directly into the bushes and strangle the annoying Fox Shaman with her bare hands when a deep, familiar voice suddenly rumbled from right behind her.

“Where are you going?”

Ren’s heart hammered violently against her ribcage. She completely froze. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the fluffy orange fox ears instantly vanish behind the thick foliage, pulling a seamless vanishing act.

Ren spun on her heels, pasting on the brightest, most innocent smile she could physically muster.

“Nowhere!” Ren chirped, her voice pitching up half an octave.

Kael stood there, his thick white eyebrows furrowed in slight suspicion, but his attention quickly softened. In his hands, he gently cradled one of her deep wooden bowls and a wooden spoon.

“I got some food for you,” Kael told her proudly, holding the bowl out to her. “I made sure to secure it before the lot of them finished it all.”

“Oh, Kael, thank you,” Ren said genuinely, her heart melting a little at his thoughtfulness as she took the bowl and spoon.

She looked down at her lunch. Her smile faltered slightly.

The beautifully complex, meticulously planned five-course buffet was completely unrecognizable. Everything was aggressively mixed together into a chaotic mountain of beige and brown slop.

The sticky, dark soy-braised armadillo-pork was violently mashed into the thick mini-bison gravy. The delicate, chili-glazed eel strips were tangled up like shoelaces around the dense rabbit-frog dumplings, and the perfectly roasted, garlic-herb six-legged turkey was completely buried under an avalanche of wet, gravy-soaked rice.

There was absolutely no beauty in the arrangement of the food.

Ren let out a long, silent sigh. ’What did I really expect from a bunch of animals?’

she wondered. Plating presentation wasn’t exactly a high priority in the Beast World.

Ren followed Kael back to the others, finding a comfortable spot on a large, smooth log near the crackling fire. She scooped up a massive spoonful of the chaotic mixture and shoved it into her mouth.

Her eyes rolled back into her head.

’Oh, sweet mother of umami.’

It looked like a disaster, but the taste was absolutely immaculate. Ren ate with massive gusto. The tender, melt-in-your-mouth pork belly, rich with the deep, licorice notes of star anise and sweet brown sugar, bled perfectly into the savory, flour-thickened roux of the bison stew.

The sweet-and-spicy kick of the chili glaze from the eel cut right through the heavy, dense chew of the savory dumplings, providing an incredible textural contrast.

Every single bite was a completely different, mind-blowing explosion of flavor.

’Damn, I am a really good cook,’ Ren praised herself, practically inhaling the bowl.

The atmosphere around the clearing had completely transformed. The beastfolk were still eating enthusiastically, several of them shamelessly lining up to scrape the very bottoms of the cast-iron cauldrons. The mischievous cubs were completely full, their tiny bellies bulging as they slept soundly in an adorable cuddle-puddle near Katleen.

The adult beastmen were chattering away loudly, their deep voices echoing off the trees as they swapped stories about the glory days of their respective tribes. Their laughter was loud, boisterous, and deeply joyous.

Kael had completely immersed himself in the camaraderie. He was sitting with Barnaby and Yuriel, animatedly telling an exciting, highly detailed story of his most dangerous hunt involving a massive, rabid shadow bear.

Ren watched him with a soft, affectionate smile playing on her lips. A heavy weight lifted off her shoulders. She had been so incredibly worried that Kael would be terribly lonely and isolated while she was away at the swamp with Syris, but seeing him bond with the new clan members, reclaiming his natural role as a respected leader, put her mind entirely at ease.

THWACK!

A hard walnut sailed through the air and hit her directly in the side of the head, completely ruining the beautiful, touching moment.

Ren flinched, her hand flying up to rub her stinging temple. She whipped her head around and caught a brief glimpse of a long, incredibly bushy orange tail waving lazily behind a thick oak tree across the clearing, right before it disappeared from view.

Ren quickly looked around to see if anyone had noticed the sniper attack. Fortunately, every single beastman in the vicinity was completely distracted, leaning in to hear the climax of Kael’s hunting story.

Ren scowled. She tried to subtly wave her hand in a sharp, dismissive motion toward the oak tree, silently communicating to the Fox to go away.

THWACK. THWACK.

She got hit by two consecutive walnuts in rapid succession. One bounced off her shoulder, and the other nailed her right in the collarbone.

Ren felt like a blood vessel was about to physically burst inside her forehead as her irritation reached its absolute peak. She gripped her wooden spoon so hard it nearly splintered.

’He is so unbelievably annoying!’

Ren abruptly got up, slamming her empty wooden bowl down onto the log.

Kael noticed immediately. He completely abandoned his captivated audience mid-sentence, his protective instincts flaring as he stood up and quickly closed the distance between them.

“Where are you going?” Kael asked.

Ren forced a bright, entirely fake smile onto her face. “I’m just going to pee.”

“I’ll go with you,” Kael volunteered instantly, stepping forward.

Ren frantically shook her head, holding her hands up to stop him. “No, no! It’s a one-person job, Kael. I promise I won’t go far at all. Just right behind those bushes.”

Kael frowned, clearly unhappy with the idea of letting her out of his sight, but he slowly nodded, hesitantly backing down.

With her alibi secured, Ren turned and headed straight into the dense forest, making a beeline for the massive oak tree where she had seen Vex’s tail. She stomped through the ferns, her hands balled into tight fists, completely ready to turn the Fox Shaman into a fur coat.

But when she rounded the thick trunk of the tree, she stopped.

No one was there.

Ren looked around the empty brush in complete bewilderment. She would have honestly thought she had just imagined him there, if she wasn’t still feeling the very real, throbbing phantom aches of the walnuts that had assaulted her skull.

THWACK!

A walnut dropped straight down from the sky, hitting her directly on the very top of her head.

Ren balled her fists so tight her nails dug into her palms. She slowly tilted her head back and looked up into the branches.

High up in the canopy, Vex was laying lazily across a thick, sturdy tree limb. He looked like the picture of absolute relaxation, his arm propped up to support his head, one leg dangling casually over the branch. A devastatingly wicked, arrogant smirk looked down at her.

He popped a shelled walnut into his mouth, chewing slowly.

He picked up another un-shelled walnut from a small pile resting on his stomach, weighed it casually in his hand, and flicked his wrist.

THWACK.

It hit her square in the center of her forehead.

“Stop throwing walnuts!” Ren whisper-screamed up at him, furiously rubbing the new red welt on her skin.

Vex chuckled, a dark, velvety sound. He picked up another walnut, tossing it lightly into the air and catching it.

“Make me,” Vex taunted, his eyes dancing with absolute mischief.

Ren was beyond annoyed. She planted her hands firmly on her hips and glared up at the canopy.

“Get down here,” Ren demanded fiercely, “so I can teach you a lesson!”

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