Chapter 6: The Bitch and the Bird
Ren woke up to the sensation of something wet and slimy slapping against her face.
“Gah!” She bolted upright, flailing. “I’m up! The soufflé didn’t collapse!”
She wasn’t in a kitchen. She was in a cave. The wet thing definitely wasn’t a failed dessert.
It was a tongue.
A dead, purple tongue hung from the mouth of a bloody pheasant, which someone had placed on her chest like a creepy bouquet.
“Oh, gross,” Ren gagged, shoving the bird away. It landed in the dust with a wet thud.
She looked around. Kael, her source of warmth, was gone. The spot next to her in the hay was still warm, and when Ren squinted, she saw a dent in the grass that looked a lot like a tiger-sized butt print.
[System Notification: Good Morning, Host. The Alpha has gone on a border patrol. He left you a ’Love Gift’.]
“This is a love gift?” Ren pointed at the bird carcass. “It’s a health code violation.”
[In Beast culture, providing food is a marriage proposal. Congratulations, you are engaged.]
“I’m not marrying a man who thinks raw poultry counts as a bouquet,” Ren muttered as she stood up and stretched. Her back cracked three times. “I need a chiropractor. And coffee. I’d do anything for an espresso.”
She picked up her frying pan and the dead bird (holding it by the very tip of its wing). If she was going to survive here, she needed calories.
She was just about to pluck the feathers when a shadow blocked the cave entrance.
“You.”
The voice was sharp, high-pitched, and dripping with venom.
Ren looked up. The Amazonian woman from yesterday stood in the entrance. Up close, she was even more intimidating…at least six feet tall, with thighs strong enough to crush a watermelon and a deer-skin bikini that barely fit.
Ren had heard whispers yesterday that her name was Vara. She was the tribe’s ’Beauty Queen’.
Vara marched into the cave, her nose wrinkled in disgust. She held a large, jagged stone spear.
“You are still here,” Vara sneered, looking Ren up and down. “I thought Kael would have eaten you by now. Or thrown you out for being useless.”
Ren sighed. ’Of course. The high school bully type. Even in the Stone Age, mean girls never change.’
“Good morning to you too,” Ren said cheerfully, setting the bird down. “I’d invite you in for tea, but we’re fresh out of cups. And civilization.”
Vara narrowed her eyes. She didn’t get the words, but she caught the tone. “Disrespect,” Vara hissed. She stepped closer, looming over Ren. “I am the strongest female in the White Tiger Clan. I can hunt my own prey. I can bear strong cubs. Kael was supposed to choose me this mating season.”
She poked Ren’s shoulder with a sharp fingernail.
“Look at you. No fur. No claws. You smell like… plants. If Kael tries to mate with you, he will split you in half.”
Ren flinched. Honestly, that was a fair point.
“Thanks for the anatomy lesson,” Ren deadpanned, slapping Vara’s hand away. “But unless you’re here to help me pluck this chicken, get out of my kitchen.”
Vara looked at the dead pheasant. Her eyes widened.
“That is a Razor-Beak Pheasant,” Vara gasped. “Those are hard to catch. Kael gave this to you?”
Jealousy twisted Vara’s face. She kicked the bird, sending it sliding across the dirt.
“He is wasting food on a pet!” Vara shrieked. “You don’t even know how to eat it! You probably can’t even tear the throat out!”
“I don’t tear throats,” Ren said calmly, picking the bird up and dusting it off. “I deconstruct.”
She pulled out her knife. The stainless steel blade glinted in the morning light.
Vara paused. She had never seen metal before. It looked like silver ice.
Ren ignored her and got to work. She made an incision, skinned the bird, and gutted it in less than thirty seconds. It was quick, messy, and a little scary.
She tossed the guts into a corner.
“Sanitation,” Ren muttered.
She turned to Vara, knife still in hand. “You were saying?”
Vara stepped back, eyeing the shiny blade, but her pride kept her from leaving.
“A sharp rock doesn’t make you strong,” Vara spat. “You think you can stay here? Kael is an Alpha. He needs a female who can handle his… heat.”
Vara smirked, a cruel, suggestive look. “When the Mating Fever fully hits him in three days, he will lose his mind again. He won’t be gentle. He will need a real female. Not a toy.”
She reached into her loincloth. Ren tensed, expecting a weapon, but Vara pulled out a handful of dried, black berries.
“Here,” Vara said, her voice turning falsely sweet. She threw the berries at Ren’s feet. “Eat these. They are ’Sweet-Dreams’. They will make you sleep. When Kael comes back and sees you sleeping while he is hungry, he will realize you are lazy and throw you out.”
[System Alert: Item Detected – ’Rot-Gut Berries’. Toxic. Causes violent diarrhea and vomiting for 24 hours. Intended to humiliate the Host.]
Ren stared at the berries. Then she looked at Vara.
’Oh, so, you want to play dirty?’ Ren smiled. It was the smile she used when a customer sent back a perfectly cooked steak.
“Thank you, Vara,” Ren said sweetly. “But I’m already cooking. Why don’t you stay? I’ll make you a special dish.”
“I do not eat your burnt trash,” Vara scoffed.
“Suit yourself.”
Ren lit the fire. She chopped the pheasant meat into bite-sized chunks. She threw them into the hot skillet with the bacon fat left over from yesterday.
Sizzle.
The smell hit the air instantly. Savory poultry, salty fat, and the ’Starter Spice Kit’ she had unlocked. She sprinkled black pepper and cumin over the meat.
The smell was strong. It hit Vara right in the nose.
The tiger woman froze. Her nostrils flared, and even though she hated it, her mouth started to water. She couldn’t help it.
Ren tossed the meat, letting the flames lick the pan. “Are you sure? It’s very tender.”
Vara swallowed hard. Her stomach let out a treacherous growl.
“I…” Vara wavered.
Suddenly, a massive shadow fell over the cave entrance.
The temperature in the room dropped.
“What is happening here?”
Kael stood there, back in his human form, wearing a leather loincloth and with sweat-damp hair. He carried a huge dead boar over one shoulder, like a soldier with a knapsack.
He looked at Ren. Then he looked at Vara. His golden eyes narrowed into dangerous slits.
“Vara,” Kael rumbled, his voice vibrating with irritation. “Why are you in my cave?”
Vara straightened up, puffing out her chest to maximize her cleavage. “Alpha! I came to warn you! This weakling… she is lazy! She was sleeping when the sun was high! And look!” She pointed at the berries on the floor. “She tried to feed me poison berries!”
Ren’s jaw dropped. ’Unbelievable.’
Kael looked at the berries. He sniffed the air.
He dropped the boar. THUD.
He walked past Vara as if she didn’t exist and went straight to Ren.
He wrapped a massive arm around Ren’s waist and buried his face in her neck, inhaling deeply.
“You smell like cumin,” Kael groaned, biting gently on her earlobe. “It is making me crazy.”
Ren stiffened, her face heating up.
Kael turned his head slowly to look at Vara. He kept holding Ren, and even pulled her closer, lifting her feet off the ground so she dangled against his chest.
“Vara,” Kael said, his voice bored. “Get out. You are blocking the air flow.”
Vara’s face crumpled. “But Alpha! She is—”
“She is cooking,” Kael cut her off. He plucked a piece of hot pheasant meat right out of the sizzling pan with his bare fingers and popped it into his mouth.
He chewed. He swallowed. He shuddered with pleasure.
“And her food,” Kael growled, staring directly at Vara, “tastes better than you ever could.”
Ren choked. “Oh my god, phrasing!”
Vara let out a humiliated screech, turned on her heel, and ran out of the cave.
Ren watched her go, then looked up at the massive man nuzzling her neck.
“Did you just tell her my food taste better than her?” Ren asked.
Kael licked a drop of grease off Ren’s collarbone.
“I haven’t tasted you yet,” he whispered, his hand sliding dangerously low on her hip. “But I plan to find out after breakfast.”
[System Notification: Bond Level Increased to 10%.][Quest: ’The Rival’s Humiliation’ Complete. Reward: 1x Soap Bar (Rose Scented).]
Ren sighed. “Can I at least eat the bird before you try to eat me?”
Kael considered it. “Fine. But feed me first.”
Source: Webnovel.com, updated by NovelKeep
Chapters
- Chapter 315: A Royal Dishwasher
- Chapter 314: Bia and Las
- Chapter 313: Born to Fish
- Chapter 312: A Shy Turtle Leaves The Shell
- Chapter 311: Let’s Talk Family
- Chapter 310: The First Time**
- Chapter 309: Looking for Wood*
- Chapter 308: Bait, Tackle, and Naughty*
- Chapter 307: The Big Bad Scaredy-Fox
- Chapter 306: A Feral Bun in the Oven
- Chapter 305: My Baby Beast
- Chapter 304: Just Pop an Egg and Go
- Chapter 303: Exclusive Fried Chicken
- Chapter 302: The Great Swamp Crab Boil
- Chapter 301: Get It Together, Chef
- Chapter 300: Under a Walnut Tree
- Chapter 299: Secret in the Sauce
- Chapter 298: This Lazy Snake
- Chapter 297: A Pool of Sunken Treasures
- Chapter 296: Dual Penetration**
- Chapter 295: The Jealous Monster**
- Chapter 294: The System Made Me Do It
- Chapter 293: Second to None**
- Chapter 292: Three Restaurants, Three Menus**
- Chapter 291: Warm Sweet Fur Bed**
- Chapter 290: Three Big Problems To Solve**
- Chapter 289: Good Behavior Gets Rewarded*
- Chapter 288: Do Not Fret, My Delicate Host
- Chapter 287: A Battle of Proportions
- Chapter 286: His Royal Highness
- Chapter 285: A Sneaky Fugitive in the Swamp
- Chapter 284: Brothers, Birds, and Beasts
- Chapter 283: The Eagle Wears It Better
- Chapter 282: Our Butts Are Not The Same
- Chapter 281: He Doesn’t Know He Looks Like a Greek God
- Chapter 280: The Early Bird Gets the Bath
- Chapter 279: Spank Me Snake Daddy**
- Chapter 278: The Prettiest in All the Land
- Chapter 277: A Mummy Beast Husband*
- Chapter 276: My Genie System
- Chapter 275: The Beast at the Top of the Food Chain
- Chapter 274: Thinking Too Far Outside the Box
- Chapter 273: Fat, Pink and Wiggly
- Chapter 272: Is This What a Stroke Feels Like?
- Chapter 271: Blind Leading Blind
- Chapter 270: Snake King’s Cuddle Buddy
- Chapter 269: An Unwanted Plus One
- Chapter 268: Very Different Husbands*
- Chapter 267: A Lesson in Lip Service
- Chapter 266: My Sweet Bird
- Chapter 265: Mating is Completely Natural**
- Chapter 264: Candidates for Baby Daddy
- Chapter 263: A Very Bad Time for More Stress
- Chapter 262: He Wasn’t Always a Sneaky Fox
- Chapter 261: Trust Me Tigress
- Chapter 260: A Shady Entrepreneur
- Chapter 259: The Sins are Stacked
- Chapter 258: Not Just Any Beastly Affair**
- Chapter 257: A Masochist in the Beast World
- Chapter 256: The Walnut Menace
- Chapter 255: Gospel of the Prehistoric Panda Cult
- Chapter 254: The Beastly Bob Ross
- Chapter 253: No Dirty Paws in my Kitchen!
- Chapter 252: Even Butchering is Art
- Chapter 251: Lions, and Tigers, and Liars
- Chapter 250: Why Can’t We All Just Get Along?
- Chapter 249: The Team Behind the Chef
- Chapter 248: My Astrology System
- Chapter 247: My Mittens Forever!
- Chapter 246: Handsome and Insatiable Combo**
- Chapter 245: Wild Animals in the Grass**
- Chapter 244: Masseuse in Another World**
- Chapter 243: One of Them is a Monster
- Chapter 242: Fifty Shades of Feral
- Chapter 241: A Gorey Nightmare
- Chapter 240: A Curious Kitty
- Chapter 239: A Hungry Tiger is a Weak Tiger*
- Chapter 238: The King of Fair Play
- Chapter 237: Campaign Manager Kael?
- Chapter 236: There are Dictators Here Too
- Chapter 235: The Chef Has a Cult
- Chapter 234: A Clan of Karens
- Chapter 233: System Shop Made in China
- Chapter 232: Pied Piper of Stew
- Chapter 231: Every Good Harem Needs a Bad Boy
- Chapter 230: Baby Monsters
- Chapter 229: Lie to the Liar of Liars
- Chapter 228: Life-Ruining Blank Checks
- Chapter 227: Two Favors
- Chapter 226: The Flower Moon is Coming*
- Chapter 225: Pretty Little Birdy in the Tree
- Chapter 224: The Most Spiteful System
- Chapter 223: Then There Were Two**
- Chapter 222: Ren’s Hands are Full**
- Chapter 221: The Chef is a Dine-and-Dasher
- Chapter 220: Beastmen Hungry for Knowledge**
- Chapter 219: What Happens in the Forest...
- Chapter 218: The Worst Possible Time for a Meet-and-Greet
- Chapter 217: Hop in the Bird’s Nest
- Chapter 216: Loincloth Learning Curve
- Chapter 215: Confessions of a Guilty Sinner
- Chapter 214: A Scandal in the Sky
- Chapter 213: Eagles Catch Things Right?
- Chapter 212: Island Jerk Elk Bites
- Chapter 211: The Red-Haired Butcher
- Chapter 210: Breeding Games of the Beast World
- Chapter 209: Meat in a Predator Sandwich**
- Chapter 208: A Third Dip For Good Measure**
- Chapter 207: Double Dipping in White Sauce**
- Chapter 206: A Different Kind of Wood
- Chapter 205: Custody Arrangements
- Chapter 204 - 50,000 Point Group Hug
- Chapter 203: From Hero to Zero
- Chapter 202: To Be Brave is to First Be a Coward
- Chapter 201: A Detailed Customer Review**
- Chapter 200: The Tiger Beast Inside
- Chapter 199: Tiger Stripes
- Chapter 198: The Versace of the Jungle
- Chapter 197: Climbing Mount Hottie**
- Chapter 196: I Have A Dream
- Chapter 195: The Moon Goddess Made Me Do It
- Chapter 194: But Why Choose?
- Chapter 193: Sleeping Beauty and the Little Monster
- Chapter 192: The Most Useful and Loving System
- Chapter 191: The Parkour Pig Returns
- Chapter 190: Catch of the Day
- Chapter 189: Get That Pig!
- Chapter 188: A Big Chicken For the Chef
- Chapter 187: A Proud Wife
- Chapter 186: Nudist Colony of One
- Chapter 185: Goodbye, Bird Chad
- Chapter 184: United Nations of Hotness*
- Chapter 183: Some Skeletons Should Stay in the Closet
- Chapter 182: The Prince of Prudes*
- Chapter 181: A Hands-On Approach**
- Chapter 180: The Lessons Continue
- Chapter 179: From Chef to Professor
- Chapter 178: Sex Ed. 101*
- Chapter 177: A Hard Problem to Solve
- Chapter 176: What’s Wrong With Friends With Benefits?
- Chapter 175: A Glorified Pigeon
- Chapter 174: Nude Buddies in a Cave
- Chapter 173: Naked Gourmet: Tree Edition
- Chapter 172: Gourmet in the Wild (For Real)
- Chapter 171: Oh Sweet Frying Pan
- Chapter 170: And How Does That Make You Feel?
- Chapter 169: Must Be a Male
- Chapter 168: Mother knows best?
- Chapter 167: Navigation for Dummies
- Chapter 166: Bonnie and Clyde were Foxes
- Chapter 165: Two Kings and a Funeral
- Chapter 164: Pending Operation Besties
- Chapter 163: Scent of an Empty Nest
- Chapter 162 - 13 Moons
- Chapter 161: The Red Dragon Chef
- Chapter 160: Lather, Rinse, Slap, Repeat
- Chapter 159: Soap Sommelier
- Chapter 158: Magic Tricks in the Bath
- Chapter 157: Beware of Man-Eating Bacteria
- Chapter 156: Feral but Functional
- Chapter 155: Not the Face!
- Chapter 154: Prince Charming Stays Clean
- Chapter 153: Wake Up Scream!
- Chapter 152: Chivalry of a Sulking Knight
- Chapter 151: A Great Distraction
- Chapter 150: Public Enemy Number One
- Chapter 149: Toxic Herbs and Toxic Masculinity
- Chapter 148: Kung Fu Nightmare
- Chapter 147: Naked, Sick, and Furious
- Chapter 146: With Friends like These
- Chapter 145: Wonder Tigerwoman
- Chapter 144: Skinny Dipping?
- Chapter 143: Homecoming from Hell
- Chapter 142: Piggyback Through the Jungle
- Chapter 141: The High Price of Friendship
- Chapter 140: Mama Bird Fox
- Chapter 139: The Birds and the Bees
- Chapter 138: Alpha Beauty Pageant
- Chapter 137: Exclusive Murder Rights
- Chapter 136: A Fallen King
- Chapter 135: Rumble in the Jungle
- Chapter 134: A Crown of Blood
- Chapter 133: The Wicked Witch of the Wastelands
- Chapter 132: The Enemy Within
- Chapter 131: King of Ruins
- Chapter 130: The Art of War
- Chapter 129: Good Morning, Kitty
- Chapter 128: A Serpent’s Murderous Intent
- Chapter 127: Golden Gaze**
- Chapter 126: True Love’s Mating**
- Chapter 125: Sandpaper Kisses**
- Chapter 124: A Predator’s Awakening**
- Chapter 123: Both Beast and Beastman
- Chapter 122: The Anchor and the Beast
- Chapter 121: The Root of Blind Faith
- Chapter 120: Big Cat in the Tree
- Chapter 119: Do Not Panic!
- Chapter 118: Welcome to the Foxhole
- Chapter 117: Drafty Nether Regions
- Chapter 116: The View from the Bottom
- Chapter 115: She Wasn’t the Only One?
- Chapter 114: Goldilocks Cock
- Chapter 113: Midnight Ride on the Fox Express
- Chapter 112: A Mermaid in the Moonlight
- Chapter 111: Frozen Naked Ninja
- Chapter 110: Taming the Twin Serpents**
- Chapter 109: I Say No To Fishy Kisses
- Chapter 108: Moral Dilemma of a Bad Liar
- Chapter 107: Happy Snake
- Chapter 106: The Oscar Goes To...
- Chapter 105: The Fox’s Proposal
- Chapter 104: A Fair Trade
- Chapter 103: The Fox’s Trap
- Chapter 102: The Ghost in the Forest
- Chapter 101: It’s Not Poison
- Chapter 100: The Snake in the Grass
- Chapter 99: Hot Noodles
- Chapter 98: New Fear Unlocked
- Chapter 97: Fast and Furious: Swamp Drift
- Chapter 96: Swamp Alien Invasion
- Chapter 95: Dora Would Never
- Chapter 94: Navigation of Vibes
- Chapter 93: Sugar Daddy Snake
- Chapter 92: The System is a Pervert
- Chapter 91: Debt Collector in My Head
- Chapter 90: A Beast World Fairytale
- Chapter 89: That Capitalist Fox
- Chapter 88: Three Stages
- Chapter 87: Soup of Clarity
- Chapter 86: It’s Magic!
- Chapter 85: Two Kings, One Tub
- Chapter 84: Here Kitty, Kitty
- Chapter 83: The King’s Hospitality
- Chapter 82: A Bloody Kitchen Nightmare
- Chapter 81: Provider of Two
- Chapter 80: The Stamina of a King**
- Chapter 79: Purifying the Palate**
- Chapter 78: The Wettest Dream
- Chapter 77: A Very Vivid Dream**
- Chapter 76: Tiny Hands
- Chapter 75: Taste of the Chef
- Chapter 74: Feeding Time
- Chapter 73: Kitchen Nightmares (Swamp Edition)
- Chapter 72: A Mating Dance?
- Chapter 71: Grocery Shopping in the Garden
- Chapter 70: The Scullery Drill Sergeant
- Chapter 69: Overly Helping Hands
- Chapter 68: Double Trouble
- Chapter 67: Nose Candy
- Chapter 66: Cast Iron Concussion
- Chapter 65: Cantonese Snake Soup
- Chapter 64: The Royal Rumble
- Chapter 63: Poly-Problems
- Chapter 62: Godzilla vs. Kong (Swamp Edition)
- Chapter 61: Tiger at the Gates
- Chapter 60: A Very Loud System Update
- Chapter 59: Medical Treatment*
- Chapter 58: Sweating it Out
- Chapter 57: Expensive Appetizer
- Chapter 56: The Jealous Viper’s Trap
- Chapter 55: Frog Confessional
- Chapter 54: The Sacred Bath
- Chapter 53: Cold Fish and Colder Shoulders
- Chapter 52: The Snake and the Forbidden Fruit
- Chapter 51: The Coldest Shoulder
- Chapter 50: Cellmates
- Chapter 49: The King’s Soft Spot
- Chapter 48: The King’s Heartbreak
- Chapter 47: Couture de Crisis
- Chapter 46: Poison is a Condiment
- Chapter 45: Streaker of the Swamp
- Chapter 44: The Floor is Lava (Except it’s Snakes)
- Chapter 43: The Ghost and the Grope
- Chapter 42: The Order of the Fried Chicken
- Chapter 41: Grief is a Great Cockblock
- Chapter 40: The Dream Puff Nightmare
- Chapter 39: To-Do List of Doom
- Chapter 38: He wants the foam
- Chapter 37: Crocodile Tears
- Chapter 36: A sleazy con artist
- Chapter 35: Boyfriend Shirt
- Chapter 34: The Forked Tongue Technique**
- Chapter 33: Two Sword Style
- Chapter 32: The Knot
- Chapter 31: Serpent’s Fang
- Chapter 30: A Very Confused Palate
- Chapter 29: Sticky Fingers and Sweet Gold
- Chapter 28: The Great Shedding
- Chapter 27: Human Burrito
- Chapter 26: Hell’s Kitchen (Reptile Edition)
- Chapter 25: Polishing the Python
- Chapter 24: The Kitty Has Claws
- Chapter 23: Goth Dungeon of Doom
- Chapter 22: Mud-Pit Bistro
- Chapter 21: Human Hot Water Bottle
- Chapter 20: The Fog vs the Frying Pan
- Chapter 19: The Art of War and Bamboo
- Chapter 18: Cold Scales and Broken Hearts
- Chapter 17: The Dog Park from Hell
- Chapter 16: The Structural Integrity Test**
- Chapter 15: The Midnight Snack Attack
- Chapter 14: Project Dream Home
- Chapter 13: Wet Cats and Jealousy
- Chapter 12: The Snake King’s Temperature
- Chapter 11: Riding the Tiger
- Chapter 10: Paws, Purrs, and Panic
- Chapter 9: The BBQ Queen
- Chapter 8: I Am Not a chew Toy
- Chapter 7: Bubbles and Beastmen
- Chapter 6: The Bitch and the Bird
- Chapter 5: The Royal Jewels
- Chapter 4: The Alpha’s Loincloth
- Chapter 3: Oh No, He’s Hot
- Chapter 2: The First Bite
- Chapter 1: Michelin Star to Cat Food