Chapter 31: Serpent’s Fang

Ren waited.

She stood in the corner of the King’s Nest for twenty minutes, watching Syris. The Snake King had finally succumbed to the “carb coma.”

He was sprawled on the furs, his breathing deep and rhythmic. His tail—which had fully materialized now that he was unconscious—twitched occasionally, the black scales shimmering in the dim light.

“Okay,” Ren whispered. “Operation ’Get the Hell Out of Dodge’ is a go.”

She tiptoed toward the massive obsidian doors. Her boots were quiet on the stone floor, thanks to the thick layer of moss that grew in the cracks.

She reached the handle. It was cold and shaped like a snake’s head.

She pushed.

Creak.

The door groaned. Ren froze, looking back at the bed.

Syris mumbled something about “warmth” and rolled over, hugging the pillow she had vacated.

“Sucker,” Ren breathed.

She slipped through the crack and into the hallway.

The Onyx Palace was a labyrinth. Dark corridors branched off in every direction, lit only by patches of glowing green fungus. It was damp, silent, and smelled of stagnant water.

“Okay, System,” Ren hissed. “Where is the exit? And don’t say ’through the stomach of a guard’.”

[Navigation: Main Gates are 300 meters North. However, threat detected in immediate vicinity.]

“Threat? What threat?”

“Going somewhere, Pet?”

Ren spun around.

Blocking the hallway was Lyssa. The Green Snake Concubine was not alone. Behind her stood the Coral Snake and the Albino, looking nervous but loyal.

Lyssa looked deranged. Her green eyes were wide, her pupils dilated slits. In her hand, she held a jagged knife made of serrated bone.

“Lyssa,” Ren said, gripping the handle of her frying pan. “I see you’re guarding the hallway. Prestigious job. Very ’mall cop’.”

“Do not speak!” Lyssa hissed, stepping forward. “You think you have won because he fed from your hand? Because he let you oil him?”

Her gaze snapped up to Ren’s head. She saw the iridescent black pearl hairpin.

The Serpent’s Coil.

Lyssa let out a strangled gasp. “He gave you the Mother’s Stone?”

“This thing?” Ren pointed to her head. “Take it. Seriously. It pulls my hair.”

She reached up to pull it out.

“DO NOT TOUCH IT!” Lyssa shrieked. “Your dirty mammal hands sully it! That stone belongs to the Queen! It belongs to me!”

“Well, take it up with your boyfriend,” Ren said, lowering her hand. “He’s the one who stuck it in my hair like a toothpick.”

“He is bewitched!” Lyssa spat. “You used herbs! You poisoned his mind with your heat-magic! But if you are gone… he will forget.”

She raised the bone knife.

“If I peel your face off,” Lyssa smiled, revealing needle-sharp fangs, “he will not want to touch you anymore.”

“Okay, that’s dark,” Ren muttered. She took a step back, raising her pan. “Ladies, look. I don’t want to be here. I want to go home to my tiger. If you let me pass, I leave. Everyone wins.”

“You leave in pieces,” Lyssa corrected.

She lunged.

Lyssa was fast. Much faster than a human. She covered the distance in a blur of green scales.

But Ren had the [Tiger’s Stamina] buff. And she had spent ten years in professional kitchens dodging flying knives and hot pans.

Ren side-stepped.

Whoosh.

The bone knife slashed the air where her neck had been.

“Not today, Satan!” Ren yelled.

She swung the frying pan.

CLANG.

The heavy cast iron connected with Lyssa’s ribs. It wasn’t a killing blow, but it was a solid, rib-cracking thump.

“Gah!” Lyssa doubled over, wheezing. “Get her! Bite her!”

The Coral Snake and the Albino hesitated.

“She has the Iron-Rock!” the Albino squeaked.

“She has the King’s Scent!” the Coral Snake added. “If we bite her, Syris will eat our eggs!”

“Cowards!” Lyssa roared.

She dropped the knife. Her body began to convulse. Her skin rippled.

“Oh no,” Ren backed up. “Don’t do the thing. Don’t do the thing.”

Lyssa did the thing.

She shifted.

Her legs fused. Her torso elongated. In seconds, the woman was gone. In her place was a twenty-foot-long Green Anaconda. Her head was the size of a shovel, and her mouth opened wide, revealing rows of backward-facing teeth.

[System Alert: Enemy Shifted. Threat Level: High. Weakness: Cold temperatures slow them down. Unfortunately, you are in a hallway.]

“HISS!”

The giant snake lunged, jaws snapping.

Ren scrambled backward, slipping on the damp stone. She fell hard on her butt.

The snake loomed over her, ready to strike.

Ren scrambled for her pocket. She didn’t have a weapon. She had ingredients.

She pulled out a handful of the dried, crushed [Fire Fruit] she had prepped for the pancakes.

“Pocket Sand! Spicy Edition!” Ren screamed.

She threw the red powder directly into the snake’s open eyes and nostrils.

SNORT.

The reaction was instantaneous.

Lyssa thrashed. A screeching hiss erupted from her throat that sounded like a steam whistle. The chili powder burned the sensitive mucous membranes of her eyes and heat-sensing pits.

The massive snake flailed blindly, smashing into the stone walls. Thud. Crack.

“My eyes! It burns! Fire!” Lyssa screamed.

Ren scrambled to her feet. “I told you! I am a Chef! The spice rack is deadly!”

She turned to run.

But the exit was blocked.

Standing at the end of the hallway, leaning casually against the stone archway, was Syris.

He was still wearing the sheer silk wrap, which had slipped dangerously low. His arms were crossed over his bare chest. He looked bored, amused, and terrifyingly calm.

“Impressive,” Syris murmured.

Ren froze. “How long have you been standing there?”

“Long enough to see you blind my first concubine with… what is that? Dried berry dust?”

“It’s chili powder,” Ren panted, pointing at the thrashing snake. “And she started it! She tried to peel my face!”

Syris looked at Lyssa, who was currently tying herself in knots trying to rub the spice out of her eyes.

His amusement vanished. His face went cold.

He walked past Ren.

He reached down and grabbed the massive green snake by the tail. With effortless strength, he whipped her around and slammed her head against the floor.

CRACK.

Lyssa went limp. She didn’t die, but she was definitely out cold.

Syris dropped the tail. He looked at the other two concubines.

“Take her to the Cold Cells,” Syris ordered quietly. “She stays there until she learns not to touch my things.”

The Coral and Albino snakes nodded frantically, grabbed their fallen leader, and dragged her away faster than Ren thought possible.

The hallway was empty again. Just Ren, Syris, and the frying pan.

Syris turned to Ren. He stepped closer, crowding her against the wall.

“You tried to run,” Syris stated.

“I tried to take a walk,” Ren lied. “To… digest the pancakes.”

Syris reached out. He plucked a stray grain of chili powder from her shoulder.

“You are dangerous, Little Chef,” Syris whispered. “You carry fire in your pockets. You break ribs with iron rocks.”

He leaned down, his face inches from hers. His eyes were glowing violet again.

“It makes me want you more.”

Ren gulped. “Syris, look. We have different lifestyles. I like walking. You like slithering. It’s never going to work.”

“It is working right now,” Syris murmured. He pressed his hips against hers, trapping her against the stone. “And you…”

He touched the pearl hairpin in her hair.

“…you are wearing my mark. In the Snake Law, you defended yourself against a challenger and won. That makes you the Alpha Female of the Palace.”

Ren’s jaw dropped. “I did not sign up for that promotion! I resign!”

“Denied,” Syris whispered.

He swept her up into his arms again.

“We are going back to the Nest,” Syris announced, turning around. “And this time, I am locking the door. And I am tying you to the bed.”

“Tying me?!” Ren shrieked. “With what?”

Syris looked down at her, a wicked, hungry smile curling his lips.

“I have a very long tail, Ren. And I know many, many knots.”

[System Notification: Survival Arc Failed. Harem Arc Extended.][New Quest: ’The Knot’. Objective: Survive the night without agreeing to marriage.]

Ren groaned, letting her head fall onto his shoulder.

“I should have just let the snake eat me.”

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