Chapter Eleven – The Pizza Place

Emily wasn’t expecting unanimous agreement from her new… minions. Did they know that they were minions yet? They had agreed to the job, but she’d hardly given them much of a description at all.

Then her phone buzzed, and Emily slipped it out of her jacket pocket. She had a text waiting for her.

Sam: U went and got new minions?

Sam: R u trying 2 get rid of me?

Emily started typing a quick reply while rolling her eyes.

E.Wright: No. This is Teddy’s fault. Now what do I do with these new minions?

Sam: I want to meet them. Where r u?

E. Wright: Trainstation.

Sam: Alright. Pizza place, two blocks over. They’re on our payroll. I’ll be there in 5

E. Wright: See you there.

“Alright,” Emily said, and wherever conversation her new minions had sparked up died pretty much instantly. “We’re going to one of our more… open places for discussion.”

“Which place?” Athena asked.

Emily restrained a sigh. “The pizza place.”

There was a general cheer at that, from all of her sisters, and even a couple of the minions. Emily resisted the urge to pull out her wallet and check to see how much she had left. Certainly it would be enough for a couple of pizzas and some drinks for her sisters.

The minions would have to buy their own drinks, she decided.

Glancing at her sisters, all of whom (with the exception of Teddy) were in costume, she realised that there would be no making this trip inconspicuous. Reaching into one of her pockets, she pulled out a small stack of domino masks and gave one to Teddy, then handed the others off to the minions.

She made a mental note to actually learn and remember their names at some point, it was going to be horribly humiliating to call one ‘minion’ to their face one day just because she couldn’t remember their name. “Here, to protect your, uh, identities,” she said.

“Thanks,” the one girl in the group said. “Not sure how good these will be.”

“It’s more the principle of the thing,” one of the boys said. The shorter, more rotund one. “If you’re making some effort to hide your civilian ID, then it means that anyone digging into it is doing so against your consent.”

“Does it matter that much?” the tall one asked.

“Of course it matters. It’s like the bikini-panty principle.”

Emily found herself staring. “The what?” she asked.

The boy flushed, then rubbed at his nose. “Uh. Right, so…” He looked at the crowd of impressionable onlookers staring up at him and his flush deepened. “So, it’s okay to stare at someone, a little, if they’re wearing a bikini out in public, right?”

“Thin ice, Lucas,” the girl muttered.

Lucas, ignoring that, moved on. “But looking at a girl wearing panties is wrong. That’s because there’s an understood level of consent being given.”

“I’m wearing panties right now,” Trinity said. She frowned. “I think at least one of me does. Does that mean looking at me’s wrong.”

“Uh,” Lucas said.

“Just pretend he didn’t say anything,” Emily advised Trinity. She understood what he was trying to say, but his analogies could use some work. A lot of work, even. In fact, maybe this minion could be a silent minion. “So, should we get going?”

With that, she started to move, then froze up as she realized that she’d just sort of expected everyone to follow her. She turned, and discovered that everyone had, in fact, started to follow her, but now they had stopped to stare at her, staring back at that and…. And Emily turned and kept on moving towards the exit while fighting back an anxious blush.

“Athena,” she said, and her sister ran over to be closer. Maple was hovering close as well while Trinity and Teddy lingered around the group behind them.

“What’s wrong, Boss?” Athena asked.

Emily pitched her voice low so that the potential-minions couldn’t hear. “Can you use your Parlimental skill to see if they’re trustworthy?”

Athena bobbed her head. “I can do that. I’ve been trying already, and they don’t seem to be bad. But if you could give me some time sitting across from them, then I’ll be able to dig in deeper. I can tell when someone’s lying, you know?”

“That’ll come in handy,” Emily said. She reached down and patted Athena on the head, which of course got the girl preening. At least for a moment. “But I still remember that you’re the one that started all of this mess.”

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Athena stiffened, but she stayed by Emily’s side as she led the entire gaggle up a staircase and into the darkened interior of the main subway station building. Then they filed out of the side door.

Emily turned towards Teddy. “Did you take the key to this place with you?” she asked. The padlock on the outside of the door was unhooked.

“No, should I have?” Teddy asked.

“Oh,” Alea Iacta said. “It wasn’t locked correctly when I tried it.”

Emily frowned. This entrance should have been more secure. It did lead into the underground where she and her sisters basically lived. Then again, how secure could they make something against Alea Iacta’s luck-based powers?

Azzip’s Pizzeria was only a few blocks over, but with an entire gaggle of sisters trailing after her, not to mention the four new minions and Alea Iacta taking up the rear, the trip over was… somewhat complicated.

It was made more complicated by the minions insisting on doing small talk. “So, um, Boss,” One of them said. The tall guy. “Boss is your name, right?”

“That’s my, ah, mask name,” Emily agreed. “What are your names?” she asked. It seemed like a good time to do that, and she couldn’t think of a way to engineer a conversation to get there on her own.

“I’m Liam,” the tall, muscular boy said.

“Ethan,” the guy next to him replied. He was rather handsome too, though not in the same ‘works out a lot’ kind of way.

“Chloe,” the girl said with a little wave.

“And I’m Lucas,” Lucas said. “Are we going to use our actual names if we do work for you?”

“Um,” Emily said. “No, I guess you don’t have to. We could come up with something.”

Lucas nodded. “We’ll have to be careful. We don’t want names that make people think we’re masks.”

“Minion names?” Chloe asked. “Or… wait, minions has too villainous a connotation to it. Sidekicks?”

“I don’t think we count as sidekicks either,” Liam said. “Hired hands?”

“That’s not right either,” Lucas said. “Anyway. We could have themed naming, like… fruit or something.”

Chloe laughed. “I guess that would make me miss pear, huh?”

“Dibs on eggplant,” Liam said.

Ethan snorted. “Cucumber, then.”

“Maybe fruits and vegetables weren’t that great of an idea,” Lucas admitted.

“Guys, not in front of the kids,” Emily said. The minions glanced between each other and winced.

Teddy tilted her head back. “What’s that mean? No eating veggies anymore? Because I’m all for that.”

“What?” Trinity complained. “Vegetables are great! They get all mushy and smell strong, so it’s super easy to find them!”

Emily decided not to wonder too deeply about what Trinity meant by that. They were almost at Azzip’s Pizzeria, and she could see Sam’s minivan parked out in the alley next to the place. They’d gathered a few strange looks on their walk through the city, but not too many. It was mid-day, just a bit before most people would be out and busy, so things were rather quiet, which she definitely appreciated.

Sam was waiting for them behind the pizza parlour, wearing a bright red half-face mask and leaning her back against one of the old brick walls. “Boss,” she said. “And the new recruits too. Pleased to meet you. I’m Minion Red.”

“Oh, colour themes,” Lucas said.

“Do we get to pick?” Chloe asked. “Because I have opinions about being pink.”

“You’d rather not?” Sam asked.

“It’s way too girlish a colour,” Chloe agreed.

Emily decided to stay out of any conversations relating to fashion, mask or otherwise. Her concerns when it came to clothes mostly involved blending into the crowd, going unnoticed, or which kind of pyjamas felt nicest.

“Sa–Minion Red, I was hoping you could do the, ah, talking,” Emily said. “For the, ah, onboarding? Athena will help you.”

“Yeah, sure,” Sam said. “I ordered a pair of extra-larges. Rose has a little breakroom in the back. It’ll be tight, but we can have our chat there. Or in the alley, but that’s a bit… lame.”

“Great,” Emily said. “How about you, ah, take care of that, and I’ll stay out here and keep an eye on some of my sisters. So that we’re not too crowded.”

Sam gave her a look and Emily knew that she knew that Emily was just trying to get out of having to socialise.

“I’m sure we’ll all fit, no worries,” Sam said with a grin.

Sometimes, Emily wondered who the real villain was in their little organisation.

***

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