Chapter Ten – Minion Meeting

Lucas was excited, nervous, and he supposed a little apprehensive about all of this. He rubbed the palms of his hands against the lap of his jeans for the fifth time in an hour. This was insane for him.

While Liam and Ethan were both prone to trying to drag their little group to different events and such, it was mostly to hang out in sports bars, or maybe go and watch a college game in a nearby city for an afternoon.

Normal stuff, but it still made him a little uncomfortable.

He wasn’t an introvert–if he was, he wouldn’t be hanging out with his friends as much–but he did enjoy his quiet time. Chloe was the same, outspoken and enthusiastic about what she cared about, but otherwise mostly disinterested in social… stuff.

And now all four of them were in what looked like an abandoned, underground train station that he knew nothing about.

He wasn’t an Eauclaire native, but he’d been living here for three years now for college and this was the first he’d ever heard of there once being a subway in the city.

Worse (better?) they were here because they’d been half-threatened, half-recruited by a preteen beargirl heroine.

This was leagues outside of his usual comfort range.

“Did we seriously just follow a bear into a dark tunnel that leads underground?” Ethan asked.

“Shh, she might hear you,” Chloe said.

“We could probably outrun her,” Liam said. “She’s like… twelve.”

Lucas made a so-so gesture. “Kids have lots of energy. You’d probably get away, but my overweight behind isn’t going to make it more than a block before I get a stitch and you know it.”

Liam chuckled, flashing Lucas a knowing grin. “Told you to come to the gym with me, man.”

“Oh, shut up,” Lucas said. “Besides, can you outrun a grizzly bear?” He was kind of regretting not taking him up on the offer now, though.

“If we all run in different directions,” Liam muttered. Then he chuckled and bent away from Ethan who tried to punch him in the arm.

“She seems mostly nice,” Chloe said.

“Yeah, real nice,” Ethan said. He shivered. “I think I nearly soiled myself.”

“It was awesome,” Liam said.

Ethan considered it for a moment, then grinned. “It kinda was, yeah.”

The girl–Teddy, had untransformed herself after getting their full and undivided attention, then had explained that her boss, the Boss, who was a ‘hero’ (Teddy made finger quotes every time, and Lucas wasn’t sure what that meant) needed new minions and that she’d heard that they were fans of that kind of thing.

Which, yeah, they totally were. They were playing Heroes: The Spreadening when she interrupted them.

They were about as big as Mask fans could be. But that didn’t mean that they were all ready to sign up and become… well, minions.

Didn’t minions have a more villainous connotation to it in the first place? Lucas wondered about that.

In any case, Teddy, the girl who could turn into a bear, had gone on to explain that the pay was terrible, the hours weird, and that the biggest benefits of the job were that they’d get cool stories to tell and free selfies next to an actual grizzly bear. Not that she’d couched anything in those terms, exactly, but Lucas could read past the girl’s… frankly hilariously bad double-speak.

The guy with her was a little suspect too. Lucas hadn’t caught sight of his face at all yet. He was just a guy wearing a baseball cap, a hood, and a pair of shades over a plain blue facemask. He could be pretty much anyone under that disguise, but something about him twinged Lucas’ memory.

He leaned in close to Chloe, who was probably the best in their group at celebrity mask sightings. “So, who’s tall, dark, and broody?”

“He’s not that tall,” she said. “Also, I’m pretty sure that’s Alea Iacta. The Luck Thief villain.”

Lucas stood up a little taller. A villain? Well, a b-rated villain with a rather lame title.

The forums loved Masks and Mask culture, but some of them were… not great at coming up with names for themselves. So the forums gave them titles, which were often somehow worse. But they made for fantastic memes.

If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.

“The Boss is coming!” Teddy said. She rushed over to Lucas and his friends, hands going to her hips. “Alright, minions. Now, just follow the rules.”

“You didn’t tell us the rules,” Ethan said.

Teddy’s mouth opened, then shut. “Crap,” she said. Then she started counting off her fingers. “Don’t use cuss words. Don’t make up new cuss words. Always pretend to be a hero. Don’t fight with your sisters. Go to the bathroom before leaving the house–“

“Pretend to be a hero?” Chloe asked.

“Yeah,” Teddy said. She was staring at her hands in confusion. “The boss gave us ten commandments, but I can’t remember the other five. Uh… I think one of them was don’t kill people. And don’t put trash in your mouth unless the Boss says it’s okay. Anyway, just do your best and it won’t be that bad.”

Teddy gasped, and all four of them jumped.

“Hold hands while crossing the road!” she cheered. “That was one of ’em too.”

“Hey, Teddy, the Boss is here,” the still-disguised probably-Alea-Iacta said with a thumb pointing down the tracks.

Lucas found himself rubbing his hands on his jeans again.

The first he saw of the Boss was probably not the Boss at all. Not unless she was a child. There were actually a lot of children coming. Well, a relatively large number for the inside of an abandoned underground subway station, he figured.

“That’s the whole Brat Brigade,” Chloe said.

He’d heard of them! Only a little, since he wasn’t paying too much attention to the local, smaller-scale Mask scene, but they had made national news for a blip a few weeks ago.

“The Boss is their leader,” Ethan said. “She’s worked with a few heroes. Took out a whole villain base a couple of weeks back. I don’t think she has a title on the forums yet.”

Lucas was determined to start reading up on the local scene a lot more. With that attack at the bank a day or two ago, and that other attack at the HRT, plus what seemed like a large team all arrayed out in front of him right now… yeah, things were finally getting interesting in Eauclaire.

And then the Boss showed up, walking up the stairs at the end of the platform. She stood tall above the kids around her. A lean figure that blended in with the shadows behind her. All at once, he felt like she was almost forcing him to pay attention to her as she walked closer.

The young woman stopped some dozen steps away from them, eyes scanning over Lucas and his friends, and he suddenly felt awfully underdressed in a Tar Ars t-shirt and jeans. His friends weren’t dressed much better, and that didn’t help him settle his nerves.

This girl, this woman, had a presence he’d never felt before.

She let out a sigh, and he wanted to either run or start fixing his hair. Why hadn’t he visited a barber this week? Was he sweating? He was definitely sweating.

“Teddy,” she said.

“Yo!” Teddy said. “These are the minions I found, Boss. What do you think?”

The Boss glanced at them all, then back at Teddy. “Teddy, we’re going to have a little talk later.” Her attention shifted back onto the group and Lucas stood taller. “Um… hi?”

And then his shoulders slumped a little. That sounded… awkward.

“Hey?” Ethan said, one hand rising in a little wave. “Big fans?”

Lucas decided not to point out that they weren’t.

“I’m sorry Teddy dragged you down here,” the Boss said. “She can be very enthusiastic about things. She means well, though. I hope you won’t be, uh, too distressed by it all?”

“It’s fine,” Chloe said. “She’s cute.”

The Boss nodded slowly. “Yes.”

Lucas wasn’t sure how far being cute would go to protect someone from the consequences of their own actions, but so far it seemed to be working for Teddy.

“Anyway, I’ve been thinking about it on the walk over. And I guess the offer is somewhat valid,” the Boss said. “Do you, uh, want a job?”

Lucas looked to his friends, and they all spent a moment sharing glances. There was a lot of uncertainty there. Mostly because this was, on the whole of it, a completely wild scenario. This was like something out of a comic book.

Which meant that, in the end, there was only really one answer he could give.

“Yeah, sure,” he said. “I’d love a job.”

***

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