Chapter Sixty-Eight – Commiserate

Emily needed someone to commiserate to, and at the moment–not wanting to call her mom, in case she was busy with anything–that meant complaining to her minion-in-chief.

Fortunately, Sam was a good girl friend, and was more than willing to listen to Emily complain about this and that. In turn, Emily would listen to Sam complaining about her far more mundane issues.

Emily was actually a little envious. Not only of Sam’s social circle–which seemed to encompass most of the campus–but also Sam’s problems and complaints all being about things like gossip and who was doing what with whom.

They were both at a coffee shop a block over from the campus, one that was slightly overpriced but actually fairly okay, all things considered. The shop had some booths by the windows, which overlooked a fairly busy street.

Emily had just finished commiserating with Sam about the newest gossip in the dorms. Sam had a friend of a friend who started dating this boy, only to break up with him because he was, in her words, ‘a limp wristed misogynist.’ Then the same friend started to date her ex-boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend, and he got upset about that.

He apparently decided to crash a party where both of his now-exs were while very drunk, and had made a big fool of himself in front of a crowd.

Emily wasn’t sure she was actually following the story correctly. But the drama of it all was at least entertaining.

“What about you?” Sam asked as she gestured to Emily with her coffee.

With a groan, Emily launched into her own latest disaster. “Trinity came home with a ‘boyfriend’.”

Sam choked on her coffee. “A what?” she asked, voice rising quite a bit.

“He is a what, yeah,” Emily said.

Shaking her head, Sam leaned onto the table. “No, no, stop doing wordplay and explain. If he’s like, any more than a year older than she looks, I’m totally ready to kick some butt. Where did she even find someone? How? Does he know she’s got three bodies?”

Emily smiled. “That’s what she called it. Him? Uh, it’s a broomba.” She made a little humming noise and gestured her hand moving flat over the table.

“One of those little floor-cleaning units?” Sam asked, her immediate anger response changed to slight confusion. She spread her hands apart to about the right size. “Small and cute, cleans up floors, self-charging… okay, when I put it that way, there are worse boyfriends out there.”

“His name’s Broomba,” Emily said. “And the girls are treating him like a pet. Honestly, it’s mostly just cute. I don’t know where they found it, but I think the trash somewhere. Maple fixed it up and Trinity is adamant that she’s in love.”

“That sounds about right for Trinity,” Sam said. “So, are you taking it for walkies?”

“You say that,” Emily said. “But Maple gave it legs, so… yeah, kinda. Now it walks around the bunker and picks up dust here and there. I had to stop Teddy from spreading crumbs around on purpose to have the broomba pick them up.”

“That’s not so bad, then,” Sam said. “You had me worried when you said Trinity came home with a boy. This seems a lot more tame.”

“I hope it stays that way,” Emily said. “I measured Teddy’s height, you know. She’s grown. Not much, just like…” She pinched her thumb and forefinger together, then spread them a little bit apart. “But yeah, that seems to be a normal amount of growth for a couple of months. We might have to start buying new clothes.”

“Just wait until they start hitting growth spurts,” Sam said.

“I don’t want to wait,” Emily said.

“And then they’ll be all hormonal, and they’ll bring more than just cleaning equipment home. Hmm… have they gotten celebrity crushes yet?” Sam asked. Her grin was at best teasing, at worst… something less kind.

“Not yet,” Emily said. “But Athena does have a thing for old villains.”

“Oh my.” Sam leaned back into her seat, then blew across the lip of her mug. “You know, your sisters are growing up, which is scary, but so are you.”

“Me?”

Sam nodded. “Yeah. You’re a lot more confident now than when we met. You hardly stutter anymore, and while you still dress as if you’re desperate not to be noticed, you don’t carry yourself the same way.”

Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

Emily blinked. She… had admittedly noticed a few changes in herself, but she thought they were small, not something that others would notice. “Thank you, I guess.”

“Hey, I’m planning on being a shrink one of these days. If you were one of my clients I’d be pretty proud of your progress.”

That warmed Emily’s heart up a little. It was nice to have her efforts acknowledged at all. “I’m still a long way from being as confident as someone like you.”

“Meh, I’m an extrovert to end all extroverts. Nothing wrong with not being super social. Now all we need is to get you hooked up with someone.”

“Wha?”

“Oh yeah, a couple of bad break-ups would really get you prepped for life. You’re in college. It’s practically expected of you to mess up a few relationships, and once your heart’s been broken a few times, it’ll be a lot harder for other stuff to bother you.”

Emily stared at Sam with undisguised horror. “That’s terrible advice,” she said.

Sam shrugged. “Hey, it’s part of the experience.”

“N-no, no it’s not,” Emily said. “And don’t go giving that kind of advice to my sisters. Can you imagine what a heartbroken Tedd would do? Maple would cry… Athena… would go to jail.”

“And Trinity’s taste in partners is probably trash,” Sam said with a giggle.

Emily didn’t want to laugh, but a chuckle escaped her anyway before she could rein it in. “That’s mean,” she said. It wasn’t wrong, but it was a little mean to Trinity.

“Sorry, sorry,” Sam said with a dismissive little wave. “So, I take it there aren’t any special someones you have your eyes on?”

Emily shook her head rather vigorously. “I don’t think I’d have the brainspace for it even if I could. Besides, I can’t think of anyone that interesting right now.”

“Hmm, that’s something. What about that Fabien guy?” Sam made a little stabby gesture, as if she was holding a tiny sword.

“The fencer mask? No, he’s too… eh. None of the minions either. I mean, some of them are nice looking, but they’re… minions.”

Sam nodded. “Weird power dynamics. That makes sense.”

Emily hadn’t considered it too much, but yes, that was more or less accurate. Her minions were her minions first and foremost in her mind. They were also a gaggle of dorks that liked mask stuff a little too much for their own health.

“What about you?” Emily asked. This was an advanced social technique she had only recently picked up. The ‘ask a deflecting question’ which was a small-talk tactic that turned conversations around and made it so that she didn’t have to talk as much.

Sam grinned, and Emily worried that she needed more small-talk practice. “Me? Hmm, I wish I had time for dating and such. It’s been a wild few weeks, you know? There’re a few cute guys and girls around, but not enough time to get to know them. Plus the dating scene is awful right now.”

“Uh-huh,” Emily agreed.

“You have no idea, do you?”

“Not a clue,” Emily admitted. She smiled all the same. This was… nice. Classes had finished for the day, and she still had a few minutes to go before she had to head out to Miss Headerson’s place to pick up her sisters.

She wondered if Aurora would get along well with the teacher. Probably. Emily’s newest sister seemed mature enough to handle herself well.

As per usual when a conversation wound down, they both pulled out their phones from purse and pocket and idly checked their socials. Well, Sam checked hers. Emily was plugged into a 24/7 rapidly-updating stream of cute animal pictures which she could tap into on command.

The best part of being so busy lately was that there were tons of new memes that she’d missed out on.

She was just about to turn her phone around to share a video of two sleepy kittens who couldn’t decide if they wanted to cuddle or fight with Sam when she noticed Sam’s brows knit together in a frown. “Is… is everything okay?” Emily asked.

“Yeah, no,” Sam said. “Emily, did you ever let the HRF know about you being on the V-side of things?”

“No,” Emily said, her heart sinking. “Why?”

Sam glanced up from her phone. “A couple of friends at school said that people from the HRF were around, and they were looking for you.”

***

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