Parrax
Dawn Chorus – Bridge
Katrina was standing to the side of the bridge, gazing out one of the small windows at the assembled fleet, pondering a few things in her mind as the rest of the crew were scrambling to prepare for the upcoming battle.
In light of the imminent invasion of Parrax and the Kestrel Empire by the renewed Javarian offensive, Katrina’s pirate hunting unit had been reassigned to patrol the outskirts of the system. They would patrol near the hyperjump point, positioned to provide the rest of the fleet warning of the Javarian’s arrival, and to harass the edges of the swarm to start wearing down their numbers.
Well, that statement was only partially true. Katrina was the one who assigned them to the frontlines, condemning her unit to the most dangerous position for her own selfish reasons. She needed to be there to provide John backup once he returned from Karrax, assuming the Javarians would be hot on his heels.
Not that anyone knew that was the real reason she had volunteered them. They assumed it was because she was the Earl’s daughter, and it was expected she would lead her soldiers from the front lines. She had done it again and again as a fighter pilot, never cowering behind others, laying her life on the line for her comrades.
The one time she did something selfish for herself, it was masked behind the reputation she had built over her years of service in the INP. This duplicitous action was leaving a sour taste in her mouth, but she did not care. Protecting her people was a given, but she wanted to protect that enigma of a man she had found herself intrigued by. Every action he performed made him even more interesting to her.
Who just says, fuck it, let’s assault the mafia with just a pistol and a sword? And then comes out unscathed, rescuing two captives like it was just another day in the office? Then says immediately afterwards, Oh, by the way, Kat, I am going to assault a system held by untold numbers of the Empire’s worst enemy to save a princess. I’ll be home by dinner tomorrow, so leave some of the bugs for me? Fuck… I need him to meet my father. I want a man like that to be my husband, not some pampered dandy boy who knows nothing but the easy life.
One of the sailors onboard approached her with a data pad in her hand. “Ma’am, here is the munitions list you requested. We outfitted most of the fighters with canister missiles, but there were not enough of them in the system to have any extras in reserve. Once they use them, the pilots will be back to only having either the standard HE or kinetic missiles.”
“Thank you, Ensign. I will review this shortly. You’re dismissed.” She replied, turning her attention back out the window. She wasn’t surprised that they didn’t have enough of the proper ammo for Bioship’s at their disposal. When the Javarians went quiet years ago, it lulled the Empire into a false sense of security, and the bean counters decided to save credits wherever they could.
It wouldn’t take long to ramp up production again; in fact, it probably had already begun. It would be too late for the opening battle, but as long as they survived this initial onslaught, she was sure they would be able to beat the bugs back as their predecessors had.
“Lieutenant Commander! Incoming hyperjump signature.” Another sailor called out, snapping Katrina out of her musing.
“Is it the Javarians?” She asked, assuming the mantle of a commander once again.
“Negative. It is one small ship… still waiting for IFF to register- It is a mercenary corvette. Designation 1337.” The sailor replied.
Huh? Wasn’t Greg with John?
Katrina had a chill go down her spine.
Why was he here? What happened?
“Open a channel. I need to talk with him.” She commanded, taking a seat in her command chair.
He must be here for a good reason. Right?
Parrax Station
Third Ring – General Hospital
“This is absurd! What do you mean our transport already left? It was supposed to be for all the hospitals on the station, not just the inner rings!” Doctor Estra shouted into her Link at Ananta, her cousin and one of the Third Rings Dockmasters.
“I mean, their commander just took off. Listen, Estra, I empathize with you, but I don’t have any more vessels remaining on the station capable of transporting your patients at this time. I will contact the remaining INP and make them aware of your issue, but I won’t be able to follow up. We are about to evacuate ourselves. I am leaving in thirty minutes myself on Darnell’s ship. I would offer you a ride, but I barely fit in his ship as it is. For what litte it might mean to you, I am sorry.” Ananta said, nearly in tears, on the other side of the call.
“Yeah, whatever. Save those snake tears for someone who doesn’t know you can cry on command.” Estra snapped at her, her anger beginning to boil over. She ended the call before her cousin could reply, and immediately regretted it.
“Darn it, you silly woman. It wasn’t her fault that the ship left. She was just trying to warn you.” She said to herself. She leaned her body back into her coils for a moment, chewing nervously on the tip of her tail. She hadn’t done that since she was a kid, waiting for the results of her medical qualification exams, but today she was that nervous.
She didn’t know how she was going to get herself, let alone her two dozen patients, off the station before the invasion. She needed a bloody miracle to happen.
Karrax
Phoenix Hawk – Cockpit
“Contact Tanya. Tell her… tell her we are aborting the mission.” He said, his hands holding his control yokes in a white-knuckle grip. His vision was becoming blurry for some reason, but he couldn’t move his hands to wipe whatever it was out of his eyes.
“Master? Are you-” Niki replied, but her question was cut off when the radio sparked to life.
“Phoenix Hawk, this is Pebbles! I have the Tengu in tow! Send me the extraction coordinates.” Tanya called out, causing a small cheer within the Cockpit.
John didn’t say anything. He couldn’t say anything. His mind was locked up.
I almost condemned her to death. I can never forgive myself…
The ship rocked slightly as a stray Manablast connected with their rear shields, bringing John back to the present. He angled the ship towards the asteroid cluster, his mind beginning to churn out a possible plan.
I almost left her
“Bearing and ETA of the mothership?” He asked, trying to get his head back in the game.
“190, -03. ETA three minutes. It is alone; the rest of the swarm appears to be heading towards the edge of the system.” Niki replied. She was rapidly becoming a seasoned veteran in this support role, providing data he needed to know before he thought to ask.
So if the solar system were a clock, we are at the 1 o’clock position, the mothership is coming from the centre, and we need to get somewhere between the five and seven o’clock position to activate our hyperdrive.
He flicked the comms button to tell her directly, not wanting to waste time relaying the message. “Tanya, bring her out as close to 010 as you can, then accelerate as fast as your hook can handle on the 010 track with a 03 degree elevation. That should keep the asteroids between us and the mothership. I am making my way over to you now.”
“Roger. 010, 03, fast as I can go. See ya soon, Hoss.”
John didn’t waste anymore time, swinging the Phoenix Hawk around in a lazy loop, mindful of the overstrained equipment. The surviving Bioships were making an effort to cut them off; over fifty of them had pulled themselves out of that mess so far, but the Light Combat Carriers’ specialty was speed. With Chris diverting more power to the engines themselves, they shot past the volley of manablasts with several ship lengths to spare.
The asteroid cluster was rapidly approaching, and John angled the ship to pass over it, skimming as close to the outer rocks as he could. Space dust and smaller rocks deflected off the ship’s shields, causing them to flare again, but not doing anything to impede their recharging.
As fast as they were accelerating, it still took almost a minute at this speed to get past the cluster, the thousands of space rocks forming a seemingly endless barrier to their objective. He was tracking Tanya’s position on the radar; her ship was impossible to see at this range, but they were rapidly closing the distance. The Bioships were somewhere far behind him, the bug vessels unable to mimic the Phoenix Hawks’ acceleration.
“ETA to target 25 seconds. Mothership is 1 minute out.” Niki said, updating everyone.
“Cutting engines, engaging forward thrusters for deceleration. Hold on.” John said after a few more seconds had passed. They were going way too fast and would overshoot Tanya and Ash if they continued at this speed. Her small fighter, while powerful, was pulling double its mass and had less time to build up its speed.
The change in thrust threw them forward into their harnesses, causing John to grimace in pain. He couldn’t take his hands off the control sticks right now to heal himself as he was manipulating the thrusters to bring the Phoenix Hawk alongside the two fighters, instead of getting them to maneuver into position themselves.
“Open all the port-side hangar doors and drop the port shields!” He ordered, placing the Phoenix Hawk on the right side of the now visible fighters. Tanya’s X-shaped ship indeed had the C-shaped Tengu in tow, but there was too much condensation on Ash’s cockpit windows to look inside. “Tanya, cut your engines!” He added to the comms.
“Roger.” She said, immediately setting her engines to idle.
“Mothership landed. It is behind the asteroids still, and moving to intercept.” Niki warned. John was too busy lining up their ships.
Fuck You, DEN. This damn skill better work, cause only a Savant would be able to pull this shit off.
“Keep steady, Tanya. It will only hurt if you move.” He said on the radio.
“Huh?” was the only reply he received before he used another thruster to juke the Phoenix Hawk to port, the ship swallowing the two fighters up.
“Morgan!” He called out.
“On it! Fighters are anchored; you are free to maneuver!” She replied, the big titty goth girl already having figured out his plan.
It was just in time, as the Mothership had closed in on the Phoenix Hawk, firing a barrage of Manablast towards them. He slammed the ship sideways one more time, then activated its lightdrive, planning on getting the fuck out of there.
The ship lurched to the side, the engines responding sluggishly, just barely avoiding most of the volley. The lightdrive, however, refused to spool up and engage.
“The hell? Chris, did something break?” He called back, hitting the lightdrive again to no avail.
“No, Captain. I…I have no idea what is happening. It should be working!” She said, checking through various screens on her console.
John threw the throttle forward again. The standard engines were sluggish but still responding to his input. He attempted to perform some maneuvers as Chris was running a diagnostic, once again trying to buy them some time.
Undaunted and unopposed, the Javarian Mothership continued to approach the Phoenix Hawks’ position, the massive ship closing the distance on the insignificant vessel which had damaged part of its swarm.
Outside The Parrax 3 Station
Dawn Chorus – Briefing Room
The briefing room was filled with the upper command of the various INP units. They had all gathered aboard Katrina’s vessel to receive Greg’s report on the situation in Karrax and review both the Phoenix Hawk’s probe data and his ship’s battle data. After he finished his report, he stood to the side as they discussed it, in case there were questions he could answer or provide clarification on.
“Over 120 000 ships? Even with the recent reinforcements, that is still 100-to-1 odds. We should consider abandoning this system and start consolidating our strength in a more fortified star system. Tanneric, or maybe Hull.” Commander Damondra said. She was a middle-aged human woman who commanded one of the smaller fleets, like Katrina’s pirate hunters.
“Nonsense. Even if we cannot win, we need to bleed them as much as possible while the Duchess Marshalls our forces. If we can hold the system for four, maybe five days, she will be here at the head of a force of fifty thousand ships. Against Bioships, we will mop the field quickly with those odds.” An old dwarf named Brundun scoffed at the Commander. He had the rank of Commodore on his shoulder and a Gold Cross proudly displayed on the front of his uniform. He was a man of some renown in military circles, having led the countercharge against the Javarians a hundred years ago after they had unleashed their reproduction bioweapons on the unsuspecting border worlds. His actions had earned him the cross that he proudly wore.
“I am more curious as to what this Mothership is. The use of capital ships isn’t unknown for the Javarians, but one of this size may show a significant change in how the bugs will normally operate.” Doctor Clevit stated. She was the only one in the room, other than Greg, not wearing a uniform. She was part of a research team whose task was to monitor changes in the Jarvarians’ behavior in an attempt to predict and prevent another plague or other disaster from occurring. “This beam that it used on the Tabbernac intrigues me. How have they managed to manipulate mana so that it interferes with our ship’s systems even if they are still shielded? I would like to be able to get better readings on the weapon, then send it to the labs to start working on a countermeasure.”
They argued and discussed the data he had delivered for thirty minutes, leaving Greg to shift on his feet, the dwarf getting bored of being stuck listening to a discussion he literally had no part in. He knew he needed to take things like this seriously, as it would become an important part of his life once his father stepped down and he took the mantle of Clan leader. That wouldn’t be for a long time, though; his father and mother had him at the young age of sixty-seven. At only one hundred and seventy years old now, his father still had another two or three hundred years before Greg would be expected to take the mantle of leadership from him. If that burden didn’t end up going to one of Tanya’s or Chris’s children instead. He would be fine with that.
“Lord O’leeg, a word.” Someone said beside him, causing Greg to nearly jump out of his skin. He had not been referred to by that name for over thirty years. He looked towards the speaker, surprised anyone in this room would even acknowledge his existence at this moment, let alone know who he actually was.
“Admiral Norris. Please, it’s just Greg these days. What can I help ya with?” He asked the admiral. The ancient human was nearly two hundred years old, and didn’t look a day over sixty. Reasonably tall for a human, with powder white hair and a neatly trimmed beard, his steel-blue eyes remained extremely sharp despite having been alive for two centuries now.
“Well, Just Greg, you can call me Chuck then. I would hate to use your title and not have you use mine.” The man said, his eyes twinkling in mirth. “Did you say that your Captain was in Karrax searching for Princess Ashellivaillian Delca Savlian?”
“Yes. They are friends, and he was extremely worried about her safety,” Greg replied, remembering when John had picked him up and thrown him like a rag doll after he told him that he left her there. It was a really odd experience since he had seen John nursing injuries several times, receiving them just by moving something or getting bumped the wrong way.
“I see. I will have to see about giving him a proper reward if he succeeds in recovering her. Hopefully alive.” The Admiral replied. He went silent for a moment, appearing deep in thought.
Greg was about to correct him that John wasn’t actually his Captain, but paused. He had never met the admiral in person before, but he looked somewhat familiar. He couldn’t think of who it was off the top of his head, though. In that delay, he missed his chance to fix the misunderstanding.
“Well, thank you, Greg. You are free to depart now if you wish, though don’t feel I am chasing you out. You are free to join the table if you wish. Oh, say hello to your father for me the next time you see him. We spent many a Hyperdrive transit together playing cards.” Chuck said, then moved back to his seat at the head of the table, continuing to oversee the conversations.
Breathing a sigh of relief, he was about to step out of the room when he noticed Chuck glance his way again. It was just for a moment, but he felt he was being judged right then.
By the Stones, that man is worse than my old man. Fine, let’s play your game.
He took a seat at the end of the table near Katrina and the other, less senior members of this group. She spared him a glance, and something resembling approval flashed on her face before she returned to listening to Commodore Brundun laying out a running defensive plan.
Fucking old man judged me, and now a kid is approving of my actions. I hate my life right now. I just need John to hand my ass to me one more time, and I won’t have a shred of dignity left.
Still, he stayed and listened, learning as much as he could from the senior military leadership in this sector.
Karrax
Phoenix Hawk – Cockpit
John glared at the Javarian Mothership for a moment, his steel-blue eyes flashing in anger at his current source of frustration, before he focused his attention on trying to get away from the magical tendril that had attached itself to the Phoenix Hawk. It fought him when he tried to make distance from the Mothership, but if he didn’t ‘pull’ on it, he could maneuver freely. Though if he didn’t pull on it, it retracted into the mothership, taking up the slack. It was alarming how quickly he was running out of tendril.
“Is this what the fish feels like being reeled in by a fisherman?” He grumbled.
“A what?” Niki asked, thinking he had asked them a serious question.
“Never mind. Does anyone have an idea? We are running out of room here.” He asked, not wanting to waste time telling Niki what fishing was.
Not surprising really. She had never left the space station until she got on board the ship. Why would she know about fishing?
If they survived, he vowed he would take her fishing. They could use some bugs as bait.
Maybe Neko’s like fish… FOCUS YOU IDIOT!
“Plasma isn’t effective at this range. If we get closer, I might be able to do some damage, but… it is a really big ship,” Serena said. She was right, it was massive, a pink and purple flesh egg that was getting close to the size of the Parrax 3 space station. It was covered in blisters that were firing manablasts at the Phoenix Hawk, but the rate of fire had slowed considerably.
It is almost like it is toying with us now.
“EWAR has no effect. Short of destroying the ship, I can’t think of- Wait, Captain, can you hit the emitter with a MAG round?” Morgan asked him.
The thought had already crossed his mind. “Every time I try to line up a shot, it yanks this chain it has attached to us.” He said, throwing the ship to the side to avoid another volley. Some still managed to strike the shields, dropping them below 10%.
“Well, you could just charge straight at it then.” Morgan said, “If it doesn’t work, well, we are dead anyway at this rate.”
John blinked. She essentially wanted him to dive bomb it? Isn’t that what the World War 2 pilots would do to battleships? Most of those got torn to shreds. Hell, his father had nearly died doing that during the war.
“Fuck it, let’s make my old man proud!” He said, then after confirming he had a MAG round loaded, he pivoted the Phoenix Hawk towards the mothership. He slammed the throttle forward for what he hoped was the last time today, angling his approach towards the blister that the tendril was attached to.
The sudden change in tactics appeared to catch the mothership off guard, the light rain of Manablast ceasing for a moment. It quickly became a downpour again, but that brief moment was all the time John needed. He held his breath, time seeming to slow down for him again. He made one minuscule adjustment to his angle then pressed the trigger.
“FIRING!”
As the shot left the ship, John pulled back hard on his control yoke to avoid the incoming manablasts, causing the ship to shudder again as it fought against the tendril for a moment. Though only for a moment, as his aim proved true, the 100-pound ball smashed into the blister, causing the fleshy-like structure to collapse on itself.
The tendril dissipated, freeing the Phoenix Hawk from the Mothership’s grasp. Several other tendrils popped up along its surface, but with a flick of his wrist, the Phoenix Hawk transitioned to lightspeed, leaving the mothership behind.
John released his breath; that moment had felt like an eternity.
He reached behind himself and pressed his hand on his back, finally able to take the time to heal himself.
They had made it. Somehow, they had succeeded in their mission to rescue Ash.
His Linked buzzed, an incoming call from the Med Bay.
He answered. “Hey Tanya, we just got clear of the mothership and are heading to the hyperjump point. How is Ash doing?”
“John, get down here now. Ash… Ash needs your magic,” She said, her voice sounding terrified.
John jumped from his seat and rushed to the exit. “Serena, take the pilot’s seat, get us to Parrax. Chris, Niki, come with me.” He commanded but didn’t wait to hear their responses. Whatever it was, it didn’t sound good.
John burst into the Med Bay, his concern growing with every step he had taken on the way there. Inside was Tanya, who was standing beside the examination table, and another woman whom he did not recognize but assumed was the pilot they had rescued. On the table lies Ash, looking slightly disheveled, but otherwise her normal, beautiful self. Her eyes were closed, like she was just sleeping. Her chest…
“No… no,” He said, rushing to her side. “She is just asleep, right?”
“John, the Auto-Doc…” Tanya said, tears in her eyes, “I thought she had a faint pulse when I pulled her out of the ship, so we rushed her up here… but, it says… she died of Asphyxiation.”
“MIDDLE HEAL!” He shouted out his healing chant quickly, but when there was no response to the magic, he jumped up on the table, straddling her body with his legs, and ripped open her flight suit. He traced his fingers down to the centre of her chest, placing the heel of his hand on her sternum, then placed his other hand on top of that. He leaned over her and began CPR.
“What are you doing?” Tanya asked, never seeing the like in her life.
“CPR! I am going to try to restart her heart.” He said, then started compressions, keeping to the beat of the old song Stayin’ Alive. He gave her thirty compressions, then leaned over her torso, tilted her head back, and pinched her nose. He then gave her two shallow breaths before returning to compressions.
“Tanya, you saw what I did? Repeat it when I tell you to.” He said.
“You want me to pinch her nose and kiss her?”
“NO! You will tilt her head back, pinch her nose, and give her two shallow breaths. It will introduce fresh oxygen into her lungs, and if I keep this up, her heart should restart.” He said, continuing his compressions.
“Okay, John… I will.” She said, sounding unsure.
“It will be fine, Tanya. I believe in you.” He said, then cast another healing spell. He then added detoxify in as well, thinking that it may purge the excess CO2 from her blood.
C’mon, Ash… take a breath, you need to take one breath, that is all… that’s all you need to do
They continued for several minutes, and John paused to check for a pulse, but there was none, so they continued.
Five minutes, Ten, Twenty.
He felt the ship enter hyperspace, but he did not pause, did not slow down.
Thirty, Forty Five, One hour.
He was shaking, covered in sweat… his headache from mana depletion was overwhelming his senses, his back was on fire again.
He didn’t notice that Tanya had stepped back, that her and Chris were holding each other, sobbing into each other’s arms. Serena and Morgan had their hands on the twins’ shoulders, their heads bowed
He didn’t notice that he stopped pressing down
He didn’t know he started to topple to the side, only to be supported by Niki.
He looked into her pale blue eyes. They were filled with anguish.
“It will be okay, John,” Niki said, holding him.
He held her tight…but he couldn’t deal with this right now… he couldn’t deal with the anger he felt with himself.
He could have been sooner; he could have made it.
If only he…
A moment of clarity went through his mind.
Something he had completely forgotten about.
He kissed the top of Niki’s head, taking her scent in.
He took a glance at Tanya and Chris, the image of the twins locked in his memory.
Finally, he looked down at Ash and burned the image of this beautiful woman into his mind.
He had to leave, but he would be back.
He would fix this.
‘Death is inevitable.’
Fuck you, Alec!
“DEN RETURN!”
The world turned black and white, then twisted sideways and vanished.
Source: Webnovel.com, updated by NovelKeep
Chapters
- Chapter 216 – ♥♥♥ Turning The Tables On A Crazy Rabbit
- Chapter 215 – Insanity Is The Spice Of Life
- Chapter 214 – Elders And Kids Say The Darndest Things
- Chapter 213 – Breakfast And A Show
- Chapter 212 – The Power Of Hunger
- Chapter 211 – The Hunger Grows And The Doctor Strikes
- Chapter 210 – Deviants And Dragons
- Chapter 209 – Dancing His Way Into Women’s Hearts
- Chapter 208 – Growing Respect
- Chapter 207 – Sibling Rivalry
- Chapter 206 – It’s The Results That Count
- Chapter 205 – ♥♥♥ Tenderized Glazed Rabbit
- Chapter 204 – An Unexpected Dinner And A Show
- Chapter 203 – Forethought, Foresight, And Family
- Chapter 202 – The Hero Behind A Mask
- Chapter 201 – Twilight Tears
- Chapter 200 – A Connoisseur Of The Arts
- Chapter 199 – Rising Infernos
- Chapter 198 – Life As A Side Character
- Chapter 197 – Feelings And Egg-cellence
- Chapter 196 – Spicy Dinner Conversations With A Side Of Self-Reflection
- Chapter 195 – Personal Space Is Overrated
- Chapter 194 – Ruminations Of A Rabbit
- Chapter 193 – Carrots And Confessions
- Chapter 192 – Eye Spy With My Little Eye Something That Begins With T
- Chapter 191 – Offers From A Rambling Grandma
- Chapter 190 – Keep An Eye Open When Probing For Mines
- Chapter 189 – She Is A Little eXtra
- Chapter 188 – Not All Walls Can Be “Dig” Through
- Chapter 187 – The Paladin Without A Plan
- Chapter 186 – The Other Side Of The Mountain
- Chapter 185 – Crazy Comes In All Shapes And Sizes
- Chapter 184 – The Difficulties Of Staying On Topic
- Chapter 183 – Sometimers Strikes Again
- Chapter 182 – The Good And The Bad
- Chapter 181 – A Carrot A Day
- Chapter 180 – One Of A Kind
- Chapter 179 – The Night That Luna Fell
- Chapter 178 – A Time For Tea
- Chapter 177 – Sagely Advice
- Chapter 176 – The Rules Of The Game
- Chapter 175 – Escape From U.S.J.
- Chapter 174 – Twilight’s Herald
- Chapter 173 – A Mountain Of Trouble
- Chapter 172 – ♥♥ Clams, Catfolk, And Catnip
- Chapter 171 – For Science!
- Chapter 170 – The Problems With Pelicans
- Chapter 169 – Gunship Diplomacy
- Chapter 168 – Don’t Look A Gift Horse In The Mouth
- Chapter 167 – The Steel Within
- Chapter 166 – ♥♥ Unexpected Consequences
- Chapter 165 – Ignorance Was Bliss
- Chapter 164 – But Wait! There’s More!
- Chapter 163 – Be All That You Don’t Want To Be!
- Chapter 162 – It is Elemental, My Dear John
- Chapter 161 – Dancing With Wolves
- Chapter 160 – Giving Those Naughty Puppies A Whipping
- Chapter 159 – When The Cheap Sunglasses Finally Broke
- Chapter 158 – Honour Is A Heavy Burden To Bear
- Chapter 157 – ♥♥ A Broken Angel In His Arms
- Chapter 156 – Planning, Trauma, And The Mysteries Of A Red Cup
- Chapter 155 – With Eyes Wide Open
- Chapter 154 – ♥ Growing Problems With Communication
- Chapter 153 – One Oath Is As Good As Another, Right?
- Chapter 152 – Predatory Pirate Vs A Wrathful Wizard
- Chapter 151 – The Wizard Of Blackstone
- Chapter 150 – A John A Day Keeps The Doctor Away
- Chapter 149 – Out Of The Frying Pan
- Chapter 148 – A Dangling Thread Of Intrigue
- Chapter 147 – An Anger Fueled By Nuclear Fires
- Chapter 146 – Rock’em, Sock’em, 3049
- Chapter 145 – With Bated Breath
- Chapter 144 – Kinder Surprise Toys Just Ain’t What They Used To Be
- Chapter 143 – ♥♥♥ The Maiden Who Came To The Villain Of DEN
- Chapter 142 – Kids Say The Darndest Things
- Chapter 141 – What Goes Bump In The Middle Of The Afternoon
- Chapter 140 – The Angry Little Landmine That Could
- Chapter 139 – Slow Dance With A Cannon Opener
- Chapter 138 – A HEAP Of Trouble
- Chapter 137 – Snakes Have No Protection From Privacy Breeches
- Chapter 136 – Bargains Over A Cup Of Coffee
- Chapter 135 – Memories Of The Past, Pains Of The Future
- Chapter 134 – More Than One Way To Win A Woman’s Heart
- Chapter 133 – Rougher Side Of The Periphery Life
- Chapter 132 – Troubles And Opportunities
- Chapter 131 – The Unsinkable Suzy Q
- Chapter 130 – Cookin’ With Lasers
- Chapter 129 – The Disposables
- Chapter 128 – Questions? Just Ask Alec! Results May Vary
- Chapter 127 – You Lose Some, You Win Some, Have A Drink And You Will Feel Better
- Chapter 126 – By The Will Of The Light, By The Hand Of John
- Chapter 125 – ♥♥♥ Cloaking His Dagger
- Chapter 124 – A Cup Of Tea
- Chapter 123 – Problems Of People, Politics, And Pelicans
- Chapter 122 – ♥♥ Paradise By The Cockpit Lights
- Chapter 121 – The Duality Of John
- Chapter 120 – ♥ Bittersweet Victories
- Chapter 119 – An Ocean Of Nightmares, An Armful Of Dreams
- Chapter 118 – The Fortunate Son
- Chapter 117 – Eh-ighties Action Star
- Chapter 116 – Wet Towels And Cheap Whiskey
- Chapter 115 – Always Be Discrete In Your Indiscretions
- Chapter 114 – Implied Threats
- Chapter 113 – The Dangers Of Using An Unlicensed Barber
- Chapter 112 – Laughter, Isn’t Always The Best Medicine
- Chapter 111 – To Be A Leader
- Chapter 110 – Prince John, The Man, The Myth, The Legend, The Florida Man
- Chapter 109 – ♥ The Sweet Nothings Of A Strawberry
- Chapter 108 – Blame It On The Wine
- Chapter 107 – The Rage Within
- Chapter 106 – A Harsh Reminder
- Chapter 105 – Walk Softly And Carry A Big Hammer
- Chapter 104 – A, B, C, D, Why Is Alec Messing With Me?
- Chapter 103 – One Hand Giveth, The Other Taketh Away
- Chapter 102 – ♥♥ A Taste Of The Divine
- Chapter 101 – Dancing Amongst The Stars
- Chapter 100 – The Angler VS The Archerfish
- Chapter 99 – Driven Into Darkness
- Chapter 98 – Twin Calamities
- Chapter 97 – John Wayne, The Best Supporting Actor
- Chapter 96 – Delaying The Inevitable
- Chapter 95 – The Black Knight
- Chapter 94 – Tears Of Despair
- Chapter 93 – Nowhere To Go But Up
- Chapter 92 – Lurking Problems
- Chapter 91 – Unraveling World
- Chapter 90 – ♥♥♥ Three’s Company
- Chapter 89 – Arrivals And Departures
- Chapter 88 – Acting On Trust
- Chapter 87 – Meeting Of The Minds
- Chapter 86 – The Burden Of Truth
- Chapter 85 – The Price Of A Friend
- Chapter 84 – An Inconvenient Truth
- Chapter 83 – ♥♥ Naughty Elves Don’t Get To Make Demands
- Chapter 82 – Testing Boundaries
- Chapter 81 – A Test Of Bonds
- Chapter 80 – What About Breakfast At Niki’s
- Chapter 79 – A Master’s Responsibility?
- Chapter 78 – Bread And Circuses
- Chapter 77 – Infinite Frontiers – The Phantom Pain
- Chapter 76 – F-R-I-E-N-D-S
- Chapter 75 – ♥♥ Ruining A Princess
- Chapter 74 – Sibling Sideshow
- Chapter 73 – Burgers, Beings, Bombers, And Broken Noses
- Chapter 72 – Are Elves Bullies Too?
- Chapter 71 – The Six Billion GSC Man
- Chapter 70 – The Black Leather White Knight
- Chapter 69 – Debts
- Chapter 68 – Temptations
- Chapter 67 – A Brief History Of Infinite Frontiers
- Chapter 66 – Lost And Found
- Chapter 65 – Elves Are Cuter When They Are Bullied
- Chapter 64 – No Replacement For Displacement
- Chapter 63 – You Know What They Say About Assumptions?
- Chapter 62 – When In Doubt, Blame The Intern
- Chapter 61 – A 12-Gauge Send Off
- Chapter 60 – ♥♥♥ Playful Punishments With Fantasy Physics
- Chapter 59 – She Is A Good Girl, One Way Or Another
- Chapter 58 – Mother Knows Best
- Chapter 57 – She Is A Real Passenger Princess
- Chapter 56 – Yes, Embrace Your Anger
- Chapter 55 – Daddy Issues? Better Call John
- Chapter 54 – A Wild Pink-Haired Menace Has Appeared
- Chapter 53 – The Wonderful Wizard Of HOTD
- Chapter 52 – A Midnight Dance
- Chapter 51 – ♥♥♥ The Queen Of Awkward Timing
- Chapter 50 – ♥ The More Things Change, The More They Stay The Same
- Chapter 49 – Call Of The Canon
- Chapter 48 – Saved By The GRRRRAAAHHH!!!
- Chapter 47 – How The Turn Tables
- Chapter 46 – The Reality Of Dreams
- Chapter 45 – She Knows My Name
- Chapter 44 – Talk To Me Goose
- Chapter 43 – The Man Who Chose The Bear(folk)
- Chapter 42 – Mostly Harmless
- Chapter 41 – A Relaxing Ride
- Chapter 40 – Duck, Duck, Goose, Owl?
- Chapter 39 – Stirring The Pot
- Chapter 38 – Ones True Nature
- Chapter 37 – What Smells Worse Than Wet Dog?
- Chapter 36 – ♥♥♥ Bunnies Are Still The Best
- Chapter 35 – Five Gals Chatting, Four Contracts Binding, Three Faces Blushing, Two Damsels Dodging, And An Annoyed Paladin In A Pear Tree
- Chapter 34 – Nicknames And Pillow Friends
- Chapter 33 – Medieval Casting Couch
- Chapter 32 – Well, That’s No Ordinary Rabbit!
- Chapter 31 – Revelations
- Chapter 30 – The Start Of A Legend
- Chapter 29 – ♥ Love, War, And Terrible Back Pains
- Chapter 28 – Pains Of The Past, Present, And Future
- Chapter 27 – Promises And Pitfalls
- Chapter 26 – Cruel And Unusual Co-workers
- Chapter 25 – ♥♥ One-Sided Family Planning
- Chapter 24 – The Principle VS The Fallen
- Chapter 23 – The Devil’s Due
- Chapter 22 – The Principal Strikes Back!
- Chapter 21 – Power Of Destruction And Power Naps
- Chapter 20 – Student Council VS Principle Wayne
- Chapter 19 – That Pent Up Aggression Needs An Outlet
- Chapter 18 – Space Aged Tractor Simulator 2000 W/Cat Herding DLC
- Chapter 17 – Not The Cologne I Was Looking For
- Chapter 16 – It’s A Trap!
- Chapter 15 – The Clothes Make The Man
- Chapter 14 – You Can Never Avoid The Bureaucracy
- Chapter 13 – Set For Ludicrous Speed
- Chapter 12 – Consequences Of Drinking The Nectar Of The Gods
- Chapter 11 – Cuddles and Conundrums
- Chapter 10 – ♥♥♥ Bunnies Are Just The Best
- Chapter 9 – The Dangers Of Health Drinks
- Chapter 8 – Deals, Contracts, And Unwise Spending Habits
- Chapter 7 – Day Drinking, The Proper Way To Train Magic
- Chapter 6 – Why Are There Freaking Dinosaurs!
- Chapter 5 – This Show Needs An Epilepsy Warning
- Chapter 4 – No Good Deed Goes Unpunished
- Chapter 3 – Karma vs Canon
- Chapter 2 – Noise Violation Consequences
- Chapter 1 – High School of the Nope
- Prologue – Truck-Kun’s Collateral Damage