–
Edge Of Karrax System
Phoenix Hawk – Cockpit
The Phoenix Hawk dropped out of Hyperspace and immediately went dark, all external emissions from the vessel either disabled or masked. The new additions to the crew were already proving they knew more about the ship than the Captain and First Officer did. The ship moved silently through the void, beginning preparations for a hunt that, with one wrong move, would cause the predator to become the prey.
“The ship is in silent running mode, Captain. Heat levels are minimal. We are ready to launch the probes on your orders.” Serena said, standing at the starboard side control panel. She was operating the stealth systems and would be the one to switch everything to Battle Mode and operate all the weapons, except the MAG, if the Javarians discovered them. No, when they discovered them. There was no way the Bugs wouldn’t find them once the Lightdrive was activated.
“I have nothing on the passive sensors, Captain. We appear safe to launch the probes.” Niki said from the port side controls. She was monitoring the sensors and would be searching for Ash and any other survivors from the miners and mercenaries within the system.
“EWAR Suite is on standby, Captain,” Morgan said. She was behind Niki on the back wall of the cockpit, ready to operate everything else that Niki usually did, allowing her to focus on the search. No one knew if the electronic warfare capabilities of the Phoenix Hawk would even work on the Bioships, but she would try.
They had considered putting her in one of the pirate corvettes, but after Chris looked them over, she declared them unsuitable without a major overhaul. Tanya’s fighter had limited hyperdrive capabilities, so she was waiting on her ship and was ready to launch if needed. Greg was on standby in his Corvette. Even though it had sustained some damage during its first battle in this system, it was still capable of escaping on its own as well.
“Engineering ready, Captain,” Chris said, seated behind Serena. She would be cycling power to whatever systems the ship needed at the time, increasing overall efficiency and maximizing the ship’s offensive and defensive capabilities.
“Very good. Launch the probes.” John said, and increased output to the thrusters slightly, sending the ship parallel to the system’s star. When the probes went to lightspeed, the bugs might be able to detect their signature and come here to investigate. He didn’t want to be anywhere near here if they did.
Yesterday, it was a painfully fast race to get off the station and make it to Karrax. Now, they had to move painfully slowly, otherwise they would be swarmed by enemies. Enemies that John had yet to face. He had talked with Greg and reviewed his Corvette’s battle data, but it was all theoretical to John until he met them in battle.
The hatches on top of the Phoenix Hawk opened up, and the probes were ejected. After five long minutes of slowly burning away from them, they all activated and headed off to different areas of the system to begin their mapping. They would employ active sensors, then transmitting their data to the ship, which should allow the Phoenix Hawk to remain hidden until they had acquired their target.
More time passed, and the tension in the cockpit rose with each passing minute. Then Niki started to receive telemetry from the probes. “Data coming in, Sir. Putting it up on your port display.”
John glanced over to his side monitor, a curse escaping his lips.
It was red. A lot of red.
“We are seeing close to 100 000 contacts, Captain, and the number is still rising,” Niki added, her fingers flicking through the data as fast as she could manage. “I… I don’t see any friendly IFF readings yet.”
“Keep at it,” John said, drumming his fingers on his armrest. He opened a communications Channel to Greg’s ship.
“What can I do for you, Hoss?”
“How long would it take for your ship to make it back to Parrax?” John asked.
“She is a bit slow; it would be about fourteen hours, give or take five minutes.” He replied.
John wanted to send Katrina an accurate count of the enemy’s numbers, but unless they stayed in the system for five hours, the Phoenix Hawk could return to Parrax before Greg’s ship could. They had no other way of sending long-range communications; only space stations and planets had the space for the Hyperpulse communications arrays that could send information to the next system in less than an hour. The First Ring of the Parrax 3 station was built around one such array.
He was really starting to learn a lot of things about this world. He had no clue how they worked, but he knew they existed. When he thought about it, it wasn’t that much different than when he was back on Earth. Who really knew how microwaves worked, or how your cell phone did everything it did? Not him, that was for sure.
“Get ready to depart. Once Niki has a reasonably accurate count of the number of enemies, you will launch and return to Parrax. Report to Katrina with this information and inform her that we are still searching for Ash. Hopefully, we will beat you back, but just in case we are delayed, they need this information. Understood?”
“Yes, Captain.”
John ended the call. Ending the distraction. He just wanted to be doing something, anything.
“Any movement from the Javarians yet?”
“Nothing significant, Captain. They are mostly clustered near the star, with only a few smaller groups moving around the middle and outer parts of the system.” Niki replied.
“Keep searching. Once the numbers have plateaued, send the data to Greg. We can at least give Parrax and the empire a heads up.” He said, then went silent again. Interrupting her more would slow down their search.
Where are you, Ash?
Five Hours Later
Greg had departed shortly after their discussion earlier, his ship winking out of existence as his Hyperdrive activated. After that, it was just a matter of waiting as the probes continued to provide data. The bugs had not moved against the Phoenix Hawk or the probes yet, which was making him more nervous than confident.
Are we actually invisible? Or do they know we are here and just don’t care?
He didn’t know the answer. He didn’t kno-
“Captain! I have three contacts that are not Javarian!” Niki said, breaking the silence in the room. “They are weak, but when I moved the probes around, I got a higher resolution reading.”
“Great work, Niki! Put them through to my screen.” He said, unable to mask his relief that they had found something.
He looked over at the screen, the display showing two contacts in the middle belt, nearby each other and another in the outer belt on the far side of the system. They were weak power sources, but they could be powered down ships. He refused to believe they were anything else.
“Unless there are any objections, we are going in at full power. Morgan, be ready to recover whatever is there. Niki, send the probes to the closest contact and recover them when we arrive.” He said, angling the ship towards the closer pair of contacts. When no one offered an objection, he ordered the stealth system to be disengaged and the ship brought to battle mode. He then activated the lightdrive, cannonballing the Phoenix Hawk towards what would be its roughest fight yet.
The first contact turned out to be no more than the wreckage of a mercenary fighter; the hull was mostly intact, but the cockpit was melted where the manablast had broken through its shields. However, the second contact was a shutdown mercenary fighter, with the pilot still alive. When he had brought the Phoenix Hawk alongside the asteroid it was perched on, he could see someone waving to them from inside its cockpit. It wasn’t Ash, but they still needed to be rescued. He had Morgan tow them in, but in the time it took for her to do that, the Javarians had caught up to the ship.
“Incoming from 090, 002. Approximately 100 Bioships.” Niki called out from her station. “Eta, thirty seconds.”
“Get that ship onboard, Morgan!” He said, unable to move the Phoenix Hawk while she was pulling the unpowered fighter into the hangar. They needed to be moving at a similar relative velocity to safely perform the operation, and if he gunned it now, he would either break the tractor lock or tow the ship behind him like a kite on a string. Actually, it would probably slam into the side of the Phoenix Hawk, killing the pilot.
“Launching torpedoes,” Serena said, which made John pause for a moment, wondering why she was firing those off now. He found out a few moments later when the Bioships dropped out of lightspeed and into an antimatter explosion that literally shredded over thirty of the fragile vessels before they could maneuver out of the way.
The remaining ships started to rain manablast down on the Phoenix Hawk, causing its shielding to flare, blinding John visually for a moment. Serena wasn’t idle and had opened up with the ship’s full array of weaponry, devastating dozens of bioships in a single volley.
“They are glass cannon’s Captain. They hit hard, but are physically weak. No shielding, minimal armour. It’s almost like hitting a person with anti-ship weapons.” Serena told him earlier when they were reviewing Greg’s data. Seeing it in person, he had to agree. They had destroyed over half the first wave in six seconds. Still, that concentrated attack had done a number on their shields, already dipping below 70%. They couldn’t afford to be in a slugfest with these guys.
“I have her onboard, Captain. You are free to maneuver.” Morgan called out. He had already slammed the throttle forward by the time she said the word free, moving the ship out of the way of the next volley of manablasts.
“Incoming contacts. 050, 004. Another hundred of them, Captain.” Niki called out again, announcing the arrival of bug reinforcements. “ETA 1 minute!”
“Yeah, I don’t plan on being here.” He said, then rotated the ship on its axis, pointing its bow towards the bioships in pursuit. “Firing MAG Scattershot.”
The shotgun round was devastating to the bugs. With nothing to slow the ball bearings down, they cut through the jellyfish-like ships like they were butter, destroying most of their pursuers who were lined up behind them. Serena finished the remaining ones off with some accurate plasma fire, leaving them clear to move to the final target.
John punched the throttles, kicking the ship back into lightspeed. He was praying to Tim, to Mags, to all the Gods of DEN that the last contact was the Tengu. It had to be!
C’mon, Ash, hold on! We are coming!
Fifteen Minutes Later
“Captain, Pebbles is clear,” Morgan called out once Tanya’s fighter cleared the Hangar.
“Very good,” John replied, slamming the ship sideways hard enough that he could feel it in his spine. The constant changes in direction he was being forced to do were starting to wear down even his more improved body. He couldn’t do anything about that, though; it was either move or die. “Serena, keep scattering shots around to maintain their focus on us. We need to give her time!”
They managed to get close to the final signal; however, it was buried in a dense cluster of asteroids that John couldn’t maneuver the Phoenix Hawk between. Spending over five minutes trying to find a route he could safely enter the cluster ended up costing the crew of the Phoenix Hawk their initiative, and he had to turn and engage the pursuing Bioships. The horde had finally registered them and was beginning to come at them in force.
Tanya came across his comms then, saying to launch her fighter. It had a ventral-mounted magnetic tow hook that was designed to pull small ships, salvage, escape pods and a variety of other things. She couldn’t maneuver with it, but she could go into the cluster and extract whatever it was, pulling it far enough into open space that the Phoenix Hawk could recover it.
He wasn’t crazy about the plan, but they were out of time, so he ordered her to launch. Now, they needed to provide enough of a distraction to keep the bugs focused on the Phoenix Hawk and not try to go after her.
The problem was that the bugs had such numbers that it was becoming harder and harder to avoid the rain of manablasts that continued to shower the space around his ship. The Javarian ships were so numerous that they were beginning to blot out the sun.
He started to chuckle, then sent the ship in yet another direction.
“It was said that the Persian archers were so numerous that their arrows would block out the sun. Firing Scattershot!”
“Captain?” Niki asked, sounding concerned that John may have snapped.
“Dienekes, however, undaunted by this prospect, remarked with a laugh.” He continued, cycling his last round of Scattershot into the MAG. Afterwards, he would only have five of the solid slugs left. He then banked the ship again, sending it drifting directly through a line of Bioships, their softer surfaces exploding when the massive Phoenix Hawk collided with them.
Just like the Zombies in High School of the Dead being crushed under that truck. I guess I did manage to get some bug guts on the ship.
“Captain! Are you okay?” Serena asked him.
“Keep firing! Now, where was I? Dienekes said with a laugh. Good, then we will fight in the shade.” He finished the quote, hoping he didn’t misremember it. Not that it mattered. “It is a quote from a battle that occurred a long, long time ago. I will tell you the story sometime, once we rescue Ash and get out of here.”
The MAG cycled again, and he punched the throttle, putting some distance from the encircling horde. He then juked the ship to port, narrowly avoiding being melted by another wave of manablasts. The antimissile system was useless against the globs of corrosive mana.
If I only had a nuclear missile or a larger antimatter weapon. Those torpedoes are not massive area-of-effect weapons. We are running out of those, too. Soon, it will just be the plasma phased array emitters remaining. They still have-
He paused, remembering something else from his past.
“Chris, do we have any fuel or anything in engineering we could use to make a large explosion? Ejecting an engine and detonating it, maybe?” He asked, grasping at movie magic from Earth.
“Ahh… not really. The fuel is actually inert when it isn’t superheated within the magnetic confinement. If we ejected an engine, well, you would be down an engine, and it would burn a bit… did you have another idea or something?” She replied, squashing his idea.
Damn it, Gene, your science fiction doesn’t stand up in a science fiction world.
He chuckled again. Maybe he was starting to lose it a little bit.
“No, not really. I was just hoping we could engineer something to take out a large chunk of this swarm. We are running low on options.” He replied, narrowly avoiding the next volley by turning the ship ninety degrees and hammering the throttle again. He wanted to bunch as many of them together as he could to maximize his last scattershot round.
He danced his ship around the battlefield, pushing the Phoenix Hawk to the very limits of its capabilities. Warning lights began to appear as he was constantly exceeding the G-Forces a ship of its size should have been able to withstand without being ripped apart. Chris kept calling out warnings as well, unable to feed any more power into the ship’s hull integrity stabilizer, warning that it was overheating and about to fail.
“Much more of this, Captain, and it will melt. If that happens, we will barely be able to move in a straight line without falling apart!” She warned him.
“A little more. She can handle it.” He said, knowing full well that it couldn’t. This wasn’t a movie. Making one last spin on the ship’s axis, he set the ship to half-throttle, then lined up his shot. The Javarian Bioships, once nearly encircling him in a sphere, were lined up before him. It wasn’t a perfect straight line, but the sphere had become a tighter blob, one with nearly a thousand ships within it.
“Fire everything!” He ordered, punching the ship back to full speed and releasing his Hail Mary, the final scattershot round.
Hundreds of the jellyfish-like ships became riddled with holes, the Phoenix Hawk far enough away to allow the ferrous balls to spread out. Beams of plasma followed close behind them, followed up by the last four torpedoes, devastating the bugs.
Though the ship did not come out unscathed, as it collided with dozens of manablasts on its reckless charge, causing its shields to flare yet again, the overtaxed system is now down to twelve percent. Some of the globs made it through the shields and coated parts of the Phoenix Hawks armour. It held together, though, and the ship blasted through to the centre of the horde, Serena activating the anti-missile system manually and peppering anything she could see through the chaos.
The Phoenix Hawk started to shudder violently, the physical bodies of the bioship debris were crashing against the hull, and the inertia dampeners were unable to compensate for the erratic impacts. If John hadn’t been strapped into his chair, he would have been flung against a bulkhead. As it was, he would need to heal himself if he intended to walk anywhere anytime soon.
God damn it, my back hasn’t been on fire like this forever!
“By the Crystal! How are we still alive?” Serena asked once they shot out the other side. They didn’t destroy them all, but they had managed to corral enough of this wave of Bioships together to turn most of them into a pink and purple mist.
“Fucking brute force and ignorance, my dear. That and sheer dumb luck.” John replied through gritted teeth, pushing the ship back up to its proverbial redline. He wasn’t planning on maneuvering this time, just putting as much distance as possible from the remaining ships as they tried to regroup.
He needed to buy more time for his defensive systems to cool down.
He needed to buy Tanya more time to pull Ash out of the asteroid cluster.
He needed to buy time, but right now, no one was selling any.
“Captain, the mothership. It is on the move.” Niki said, fear entering her voice for the first time since he rescued her.
Unbidden and unwelcome, Alec’s words slammed into his mind just then. “Sometimes you will be fighting those wars, sometimes others will. In the end, war is the one constant across the omni-verse. Death is inevitable.”
Fuck, Fuck, Fuck.
War is the one constant across the omni-verse. Death is inevitable.
Fuck, Fuck, FUCK!
“Contact Tanya. Tell her… tell her we are aborting the mission.” He said, his hands holding his control yokes in a white-knuckle grip.
Death is inevitable.
FUCK!
Source: Webnovel.com, updated by NovelKeep
Chapters
- Chapter 216 – ♥♥♥ Turning The Tables On A Crazy Rabbit
- Chapter 215 – Insanity Is The Spice Of Life
- Chapter 214 – Elders And Kids Say The Darndest Things
- Chapter 213 – Breakfast And A Show
- Chapter 212 – The Power Of Hunger
- Chapter 211 – The Hunger Grows And The Doctor Strikes
- Chapter 210 – Deviants And Dragons
- Chapter 209 – Dancing His Way Into Women’s Hearts
- Chapter 208 – Growing Respect
- Chapter 207 – Sibling Rivalry
- Chapter 206 – It’s The Results That Count
- Chapter 205 – ♥♥♥ Tenderized Glazed Rabbit
- Chapter 204 – An Unexpected Dinner And A Show
- Chapter 203 – Forethought, Foresight, And Family
- Chapter 202 – The Hero Behind A Mask
- Chapter 201 – Twilight Tears
- Chapter 200 – A Connoisseur Of The Arts
- Chapter 199 – Rising Infernos
- Chapter 198 – Life As A Side Character
- Chapter 197 – Feelings And Egg-cellence
- Chapter 196 – Spicy Dinner Conversations With A Side Of Self-Reflection
- Chapter 195 – Personal Space Is Overrated
- Chapter 194 – Ruminations Of A Rabbit
- Chapter 193 – Carrots And Confessions
- Chapter 192 – Eye Spy With My Little Eye Something That Begins With T
- Chapter 191 – Offers From A Rambling Grandma
- Chapter 190 – Keep An Eye Open When Probing For Mines
- Chapter 189 – She Is A Little eXtra
- Chapter 188 – Not All Walls Can Be “Dig” Through
- Chapter 187 – The Paladin Without A Plan
- Chapter 186 – The Other Side Of The Mountain
- Chapter 185 – Crazy Comes In All Shapes And Sizes
- Chapter 184 – The Difficulties Of Staying On Topic
- Chapter 183 – Sometimers Strikes Again
- Chapter 182 – The Good And The Bad
- Chapter 181 – A Carrot A Day
- Chapter 180 – One Of A Kind
- Chapter 179 – The Night That Luna Fell
- Chapter 178 – A Time For Tea
- Chapter 177 – Sagely Advice
- Chapter 176 – The Rules Of The Game
- Chapter 175 – Escape From U.S.J.
- Chapter 174 – Twilight’s Herald
- Chapter 173 – A Mountain Of Trouble
- Chapter 172 – ♥♥ Clams, Catfolk, And Catnip
- Chapter 171 – For Science!
- Chapter 170 – The Problems With Pelicans
- Chapter 169 – Gunship Diplomacy
- Chapter 168 – Don’t Look A Gift Horse In The Mouth
- Chapter 167 – The Steel Within
- Chapter 166 – ♥♥ Unexpected Consequences
- Chapter 165 – Ignorance Was Bliss
- Chapter 164 – But Wait! There’s More!
- Chapter 163 – Be All That You Don’t Want To Be!
- Chapter 162 – It is Elemental, My Dear John
- Chapter 161 – Dancing With Wolves
- Chapter 160 – Giving Those Naughty Puppies A Whipping
- Chapter 159 – When The Cheap Sunglasses Finally Broke
- Chapter 158 – Honour Is A Heavy Burden To Bear
- Chapter 157 – ♥♥ A Broken Angel In His Arms
- Chapter 156 – Planning, Trauma, And The Mysteries Of A Red Cup
- Chapter 155 – With Eyes Wide Open
- Chapter 154 – ♥ Growing Problems With Communication
- Chapter 153 – One Oath Is As Good As Another, Right?
- Chapter 152 – Predatory Pirate Vs A Wrathful Wizard
- Chapter 151 – The Wizard Of Blackstone
- Chapter 150 – A John A Day Keeps The Doctor Away
- Chapter 149 – Out Of The Frying Pan
- Chapter 148 – A Dangling Thread Of Intrigue
- Chapter 147 – An Anger Fueled By Nuclear Fires
- Chapter 146 – Rock’em, Sock’em, 3049
- Chapter 145 – With Bated Breath
- Chapter 144 – Kinder Surprise Toys Just Ain’t What They Used To Be
- Chapter 143 – ♥♥♥ The Maiden Who Came To The Villain Of DEN
- Chapter 142 – Kids Say The Darndest Things
- Chapter 141 – What Goes Bump In The Middle Of The Afternoon
- Chapter 140 – The Angry Little Landmine That Could
- Chapter 139 – Slow Dance With A Cannon Opener
- Chapter 138 – A HEAP Of Trouble
- Chapter 137 – Snakes Have No Protection From Privacy Breeches
- Chapter 136 – Bargains Over A Cup Of Coffee
- Chapter 135 – Memories Of The Past, Pains Of The Future
- Chapter 134 – More Than One Way To Win A Woman’s Heart
- Chapter 133 – Rougher Side Of The Periphery Life
- Chapter 132 – Troubles And Opportunities
- Chapter 131 – The Unsinkable Suzy Q
- Chapter 130 – Cookin’ With Lasers
- Chapter 129 – The Disposables
- Chapter 128 – Questions? Just Ask Alec! Results May Vary
- Chapter 127 – You Lose Some, You Win Some, Have A Drink And You Will Feel Better
- Chapter 126 – By The Will Of The Light, By The Hand Of John
- Chapter 125 – ♥♥♥ Cloaking His Dagger
- Chapter 124 – A Cup Of Tea
- Chapter 123 – Problems Of People, Politics, And Pelicans
- Chapter 122 – ♥♥ Paradise By The Cockpit Lights
- Chapter 121 – The Duality Of John
- Chapter 120 – ♥ Bittersweet Victories
- Chapter 119 – An Ocean Of Nightmares, An Armful Of Dreams
- Chapter 118 – The Fortunate Son
- Chapter 117 – Eh-ighties Action Star
- Chapter 116 – Wet Towels And Cheap Whiskey
- Chapter 115 – Always Be Discrete In Your Indiscretions
- Chapter 114 – Implied Threats
- Chapter 113 – The Dangers Of Using An Unlicensed Barber
- Chapter 112 – Laughter, Isn’t Always The Best Medicine
- Chapter 111 – To Be A Leader
- Chapter 110 – Prince John, The Man, The Myth, The Legend, The Florida Man
- Chapter 109 – ♥ The Sweet Nothings Of A Strawberry
- Chapter 108 – Blame It On The Wine
- Chapter 107 – The Rage Within
- Chapter 106 – A Harsh Reminder
- Chapter 105 – Walk Softly And Carry A Big Hammer
- Chapter 104 – A, B, C, D, Why Is Alec Messing With Me?
- Chapter 103 – One Hand Giveth, The Other Taketh Away
- Chapter 102 – ♥♥ A Taste Of The Divine
- Chapter 101 – Dancing Amongst The Stars
- Chapter 100 – The Angler VS The Archerfish
- Chapter 99 – Driven Into Darkness
- Chapter 98 – Twin Calamities
- Chapter 97 – John Wayne, The Best Supporting Actor
- Chapter 96 – Delaying The Inevitable
- Chapter 95 – The Black Knight
- Chapter 94 – Tears Of Despair
- Chapter 93 – Nowhere To Go But Up
- Chapter 92 – Lurking Problems
- Chapter 91 – Unraveling World
- Chapter 90 – ♥♥♥ Three’s Company
- Chapter 89 – Arrivals And Departures
- Chapter 88 – Acting On Trust
- Chapter 87 – Meeting Of The Minds
- Chapter 86 – The Burden Of Truth
- Chapter 85 – The Price Of A Friend
- Chapter 84 – An Inconvenient Truth
- Chapter 83 – ♥♥ Naughty Elves Don’t Get To Make Demands
- Chapter 82 – Testing Boundaries
- Chapter 81 – A Test Of Bonds
- Chapter 80 – What About Breakfast At Niki’s
- Chapter 79 – A Master’s Responsibility?
- Chapter 78 – Bread And Circuses
- Chapter 77 – Infinite Frontiers – The Phantom Pain
- Chapter 76 – F-R-I-E-N-D-S
- Chapter 75 – ♥♥ Ruining A Princess
- Chapter 74 – Sibling Sideshow
- Chapter 73 – Burgers, Beings, Bombers, And Broken Noses
- Chapter 72 – Are Elves Bullies Too?
- Chapter 71 – The Six Billion GSC Man
- Chapter 70 – The Black Leather White Knight
- Chapter 69 – Debts
- Chapter 68 – Temptations
- Chapter 67 – A Brief History Of Infinite Frontiers
- Chapter 66 – Lost And Found
- Chapter 65 – Elves Are Cuter When They Are Bullied
- Chapter 64 – No Replacement For Displacement
- Chapter 63 – You Know What They Say About Assumptions?
- Chapter 62 – When In Doubt, Blame The Intern
- Chapter 61 – A 12-Gauge Send Off
- Chapter 60 – ♥♥♥ Playful Punishments With Fantasy Physics
- Chapter 59 – She Is A Good Girl, One Way Or Another
- Chapter 58 – Mother Knows Best
- Chapter 57 – She Is A Real Passenger Princess
- Chapter 56 – Yes, Embrace Your Anger
- Chapter 55 – Daddy Issues? Better Call John
- Chapter 54 – A Wild Pink-Haired Menace Has Appeared
- Chapter 53 – The Wonderful Wizard Of HOTD
- Chapter 52 – A Midnight Dance
- Chapter 51 – ♥♥♥ The Queen Of Awkward Timing
- Chapter 50 – ♥ The More Things Change, The More They Stay The Same
- Chapter 49 – Call Of The Canon
- Chapter 48 – Saved By The GRRRRAAAHHH!!!
- Chapter 47 – How The Turn Tables
- Chapter 46 – The Reality Of Dreams
- Chapter 45 – She Knows My Name
- Chapter 44 – Talk To Me Goose
- Chapter 43 – The Man Who Chose The Bear(folk)
- Chapter 42 – Mostly Harmless
- Chapter 41 – A Relaxing Ride
- Chapter 40 – Duck, Duck, Goose, Owl?
- Chapter 39 – Stirring The Pot
- Chapter 38 – Ones True Nature
- Chapter 37 – What Smells Worse Than Wet Dog?
- Chapter 36 – ♥♥♥ Bunnies Are Still The Best
- Chapter 35 – Five Gals Chatting, Four Contracts Binding, Three Faces Blushing, Two Damsels Dodging, And An Annoyed Paladin In A Pear Tree
- Chapter 34 – Nicknames And Pillow Friends
- Chapter 33 – Medieval Casting Couch
- Chapter 32 – Well, That’s No Ordinary Rabbit!
- Chapter 31 – Revelations
- Chapter 30 – The Start Of A Legend
- Chapter 29 – ♥ Love, War, And Terrible Back Pains
- Chapter 28 – Pains Of The Past, Present, And Future
- Chapter 27 – Promises And Pitfalls
- Chapter 26 – Cruel And Unusual Co-workers
- Chapter 25 – ♥♥ One-Sided Family Planning
- Chapter 24 – The Principle VS The Fallen
- Chapter 23 – The Devil’s Due
- Chapter 22 – The Principal Strikes Back!
- Chapter 21 – Power Of Destruction And Power Naps
- Chapter 20 – Student Council VS Principle Wayne
- Chapter 19 – That Pent Up Aggression Needs An Outlet
- Chapter 18 – Space Aged Tractor Simulator 2000 W/Cat Herding DLC
- Chapter 17 – Not The Cologne I Was Looking For
- Chapter 16 – It’s A Trap!
- Chapter 15 – The Clothes Make The Man
- Chapter 14 – You Can Never Avoid The Bureaucracy
- Chapter 13 – Set For Ludicrous Speed
- Chapter 12 – Consequences Of Drinking The Nectar Of The Gods
- Chapter 11 – Cuddles and Conundrums
- Chapter 10 – ♥♥♥ Bunnies Are Just The Best
- Chapter 9 – The Dangers Of Health Drinks
- Chapter 8 – Deals, Contracts, And Unwise Spending Habits
- Chapter 7 – Day Drinking, The Proper Way To Train Magic
- Chapter 6 – Why Are There Freaking Dinosaurs!
- Chapter 5 – This Show Needs An Epilepsy Warning
- Chapter 4 – No Good Deed Goes Unpunished
- Chapter 3 – Karma vs Canon
- Chapter 2 – Noise Violation Consequences
- Chapter 1 – High School of the Nope
- Prologue – Truck-Kun’s Collateral Damage