Chapter 12 – Consequences Of Drinking The Nectar Of The Gods
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- Chapter 12 – Consequences Of Drinking The Nectar Of The Gods
“Okay, where the hell am I this time.” John said while looking at his surroundings.
A burnt orange sky was above him, not a trace of a cloud to be seen. The Sun was high in the sky, its red glare giving the landscape below an almost hellish aspect. The ground around him was like baked mudflats, mixed with tall, rocky perturbances and scattered ravines that were extremely deep. Everything appeared burnt orange, indicating that there was a lot of iron oxide in the environment. The few plants that could be seen were small, scrub brushes at best.
John was at the edge of a cliff, sitting on some sort of vehicle. He had on a white t-shirt with a black leather jacket and pants, heavy black combat boots were laced up loosely. Strapped to his waist was a large pistol, a revolver, and he could see that his jacket had pockets to hold extra ammunition on the inside. The was also a large rifle beside him, in a holster on the side of the cockpit.
This vehicle…was like nothing he had ever seen before. A flat, triangular shaped front narrowing almost to a point, flared back to the open cockpit of this craft. Two large cylindrical engines of some sort glowed on either side of him, sweeping back behind the rest of the craft. He felt the vibrations throughout his body as it idled.
“Argh! That is sending vibrations straight up my spine! Who designed something like this? Its like some unholy crossbreed of a fighter jet, jet ski, and a Harley!” he complained to himself.
Suddenly information started to flow into his brain. A lot of information. He was John Wayne, formerly James Raynor. He was a former confederate soldier, turned outlaw, changed his name and became the marshal of this outer colony world. His parents were both long gone, he had a wife and child, both gone as well. He was a lonely man, a workaholic, out on patrol to deal with a few pesky critters that seemed to be popping up more frequently and attacking the colonist. All this at the ripe age of 39*.
After a few minutes, his brain settled down enough to separate these memories from his own and store them away for later. He was still under the effects of that…Westy? Westil? that bloody whiskey with a weird name Alec gave him. He probably shouldn’t be driving around on the Vulture hoverbike like this, but he was supposed to be out on patrol killing these weird animals off before they became a problem. That gave him an excuse to kill something, which was exactly what his mood required right now.
Angling the bike away from the cliff, he started to drive, his new memories sharing the skills on how it operated. He did keep it to a slow pace though, as he didn’t have the reaction speed or stamina to operate this beast at anywhere near its normal speeds.
Who thought it was a good idea to be able to go from zero to two hundred in a second?** This thing could pulverize its rider before anyone else got a chance to.
The wasteland was vast, and he was quite far out, nearly a hundred miles from the colony. The past him would patrol between gas refineries and different mines, helping out the locals when needed. The new him would need to come up with a different plan, he couldn’t stay on this bike for very long, and the distances were too far for travel by foot.
He traveled for thirty minutes, and when he saw a couple a hills close together forming a canyon between them, he decided to pull over and rest for a bit in the shade it created. He hadn’t come across any of these wild animals yet, and was getting frustrated. He stopped at the opening of the canyon, and got off the bike, well he tried anyway. Even when ‘landed’, he was seated high up, the design was meant for someone who was much more spry than he was.
He attempted it anyways, shifting himself to slowly lower himself down. He was making progress when his left foot that was pressing on the engine housing while he was trying to put the other foot on the ground, slipped and he tumbled the rest of the way.
He felt something snap and pain shot through his whole body. A blood curdling scream came out of his mouth.
“ARRRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!” His scream echoing through the canyon.
He blacked out.
John woke up a few hours later. It was dark out, though he could see some stars above him. The canyon was in near total darkness, just the lights on the still idling vulture providing any illumination for him. Pain wracked his body, causing him to nearly pass out again. He tried to move and found he couldn’t move his right arm at all, and his legs were numb.
He knew that he shouldn’t move as he might have a spinal injury, and he should wait to have medical personnel come rescue him, but he was on the ground, and the comms unit was back up on the bike. No one was coming to help.
“Fuck! Heal!” He said through gritted teeth out. Nothing happened.
“HEAL!.. Shit I should have checked if I could use magic in this world when I first got here.”
Not seeing any other option, he said “Den Return.” Nothing happened.
“What the actual…DEN RETURN! DEN RETURN!” He kept shouting, not understanding why he couldn’t teleport. His voice echoed through the canyon, scaring of any small animals who called this place their home.
John stopped shouting when he realized it was in vain. Using his left arm he slowly rolled himself over and shuffled himself next to the side of the bike. He could feel his legs slowly gaining feelings again, apparently they had only went to sleep when he pinched a nerve or something with his fall. His right arm though, was hanging loosely at his side, no longer in the socket at all.
“Just fucking kill me already…what even is this world.” he muttered.
*Ding*
[DEN Quest Received]
[StarCraft – Living Nightmare]
[Survive.]
[Time Remaining – 9:59:57]
[Rewards]
[2000 Gatcha Token or +1 Stat point]
Pain was shooting through his body as he tried to make sense of the quest. This was only the second quest he had ever received, and while the last one was for all worlds, this one was specific to this one, and had a timer.
So this the world of StarCraft eh? That quest title sounds ominous. Rewards are massive though, that is a lot of Gatcha tokens.
He pondered what to do. He didn’t think he was able to stand yet, let alone walk. Climbing back up that big bike was out of the question. His shoulder was completely out of its socket, there was no easy way to pop it back in when it was that far gone. He needed medical attention.
*Rrrreeeekkkk Tictictic*
A loud noise he didn’t recognize at first broke the silence of the night.
Well shit I guess this is what the quest meant by surviving.
He pulled out the pistol, the ancient looking weapon was quite heavy looking. Six shots and he would have to reload. He had a ton of ammo in his pockets but this would be difficult to do with only one hand.
That rifle was low enough, I could grab it on the other side.
It was a fully automatic, though it would be nearly impossible to use with only one hand. If he could only get on the bike, it has a grenade launcher.
*Rrrreeeekkkk Tictictic*
*Cuurrrr Cuurrrr*
The noises increased in the darkness, getting closer to him.
John raised his pistol beside his head, trying to see whatever it was in the darkness. His bike continued to idle quietly beside him, its fuel cell happy to run for weeks at idle. Its headlamps were not turned on, only the marker lights, so he couldn’t see very far away, effectively blinding him outside of the short radius around him.
Why do I feel like I am in a low budget horror film?
Movement on his right side, in front of the bike. John waited, watching for a clear shot. He was lucky the quest came up when it did, else he might have tried falling back asleep instead of being alert for an attack.
A black shadow moved in front of him, moving from his right to left side, disappearing back into the darkness. It was the size of a large dog, whatever it was.
He was starting to sweat. His legs still too numb to support him, his dominant arm disabled, holding the heavy pistol with his off hand. He was in no condition to fight.
*KRRRREEEEE!*
A loud shriek pierced the night, and the beast that jumped towards him appeared to be all teeth and claws. Nearly a meter tall, the beast that was in similar size to a Great Dane or a large wolf but that is where the resemblance ended. It had a squat round body which seemed small considering the size of its gigantic mouth that was filled with long sharp fangs. Two curved horns framed its face pointing outwards, along with two yellow eyes. It had four arms, two slung underneath its torso and two on its back, all four covered with claws and spikes instead of hands or paws. Its hind legs were large, its feet having two large claws as well. It balanced on those two legs with the help from a tail stretching out behind it.
John quickly aimed and fired. The bullet missed its head, punching into one of its shoulders instead. John did not have time to look at the damage he inflicted before the animal was on top of him, tearing out his throat.
The last thing that went through his mind before it all faded to black was the fact that he couldn’t say good bye to his family.
[Quest Failed]
*Poof*
Blue smoke surrounded John this time. The loud noises of the music and the announcer washed over him.
I…I am alive?
“Welcome back John. That was a short trip this time. We didn’t even get to finish your Gatcha draw or have an interview with you, before you left.” Alec said, his smug grin still on his face.
Clarity washed over John again, and he could feel his shoulder setting back into place. No pain, just the repairing of his injury. He gave it a tentative shrug and it felt as good as…well not new, but as it felt before he went into StarCraft.
“What in the hell was that thing? It was so fast I barely had the time to put a single round into it before it was on me. How am I here by the way? I thought I died.” He said with a confused expression on his face.
“Well, they call them Zerglings, and they are the cannon fodder units for the Zerg forces that are attacking the Terrans…the humans of that world. Right now, only a few humans are aware they exist, but that entire sector will be on fire soon. It is another ‘Death World’ but in a Sci-fi setting. You seem to be unlucky finding those ones before uncovering more powers first. It is kind of funny you have pretty much managed to die in two worlds now, both times in under twelve hours.”
“How did I get back here then?”
“We brought you back of course. We used the power that was donated by our viewers to port your soul out instead of giving you the world bonus. Next time you try, do be sure not to get into a situation where you die before your teleportation skill finishes its cooldown.”
John didn’t know what to think of that. He wasn’t sure he ever wanted to return to that world. It was bleak and desolate. Wait return?
“How would I return? I died.” He still had phantom pains in his neck from it being torn out.
“Easy, we reset the timeline. You start off at the beginning again, and follow through. I suggest you don’t go back to that canyon without your power armour on though. Just a thought.” Alec said with a laugh, like it was an inside joke.
“Yeah I am not going there again as I am, I am too fragile to deal with creatures like that.”
“Probably for the best. The rewards for completing that world, well lets just say it is top tier. It is one of the harder worlds to survive in as a normal person after all. Now shall we go over your rewards”
“Umm…sure?” Why would he get rewards?
[World – StarCraft]
[Canon Completion (By game) – 0%]
[Anomalies]
[Minor – Replaced Main Character – 1%]
[Minor – Did not return to Mar Sara colony -3%]
[Critical – Died – 100%]
[Diversion from Canon – 104%]
[Canon Snapback – 104%]
[Total Change – Reset – 0%]
[Canon Integrity – 100%]
[Rewards]
[Gatcha Tokens – 100]
[New World Bonus – Nil]
[Stat Points – +2]
[World – The Great Cleric – Open]
[World – High School of the Dead – Closed]
[World – StarCraft – Closed (Being Reset)]
[Calculations Complete]
[Would you like to allocate stat points now? Y/N]
“I get some tokens and stat points for dying?” John asked. He didn’t like looking a gift horse in the mouth but he didn’t think he did anything to deserve that.”
“Call it a gesture of good will. We shouldn’t have let you go there while under the influence of alcohol. Most of the other doors you would be fine in, but that one…well you were there.”
“Hey don’t blame yourself, that was my own damn fault. I am…this place…it is just so damn weird that I am still having trouble wrapping my head around it. I should be dead, but I am not, you have the power to fix me but instead you are dangling carrots in front of me. And I’m jumping for them because if I don’t, I am dead. I am too old to be playing games, but here I am playing one.”
John shut up then when he realized he was rambling on like some senile old-…yeah…guess he did fit that description. Next thing he will be doing is angrily waving his cane while shouting at a television. John just decided to stop digging this hole further and move on.
“So…toss those points into Endurance please.”
[STATUS CHANGED]
[ENDURANCE – 25 -> 12]
[Reincarnators Cardiovascular system has been restored to acceptable condition.]
[System will now reset ENDURANCE value]
[WARNING – ENDURANCE unable to be recovered fully due to Compromised Internal Structure]
[ENDURANCE – 25 -> 18 (Compromised Internal Structure)]
John felt a wave of energy enter his body, making him feel twenty years younger. His chest felt relaxed, his breathing was steady. It almost felt like his body was heating up. Whatever was wrong with his heart had been corrected, and he now had a huge weight lifted off his chest.
“Man that is just wild. How are you…never mind…gods.”
“Higher beings, but sure. Does it feel good?”
“I haven’t felt like this for a long time. I could almost get up and go for a run.”
Alec laughed. “Hah Don’t do that, it is still beyond you for now. Now taking a walk around town with a certain bunny girl? Easily done.”
He thought about going back to that world, invest more time in learning to heal and to spend time with Nanaella, but being killed by that Zergling really set things into perspective for John. If he wanted to survive, he needed to get stronger. The best way for him to do that was to at least open every door first and see what they had to offer, and reap all the canon breaking rewards he could. If he could stabilize his body, he might have a fighting chance against real threats.
“Good plan John, lets hope it works out for you. Now, you have 1625 Gatcha Tokens, would you like to spin for anything?”
“I would, lets get another skill please.”
His Gatcha screen popped up in front of him and started spinning, he could make out some of the skills as they passed. Swordsman – Novice, Cook – Adept, Artificer – Master, Fisherman – Master, Sharpshooter – Adept. The list went on and on. He was kind of hoping for something to improve his magic further.
The wheel came to a stop and golden sparkles rain down on him, the sounds of trumpets coming from somewhere behind him.
Do the colours even mean anything?
“Congratulations! You have acquired the Special-Tier skill – Pilot – Savant” The announcers voice echoed through out the room. “This skill will allow you to pilot anything like you were born to it. From a Spitfire to a Star Destroyer, as long as it is something that needs to be piloted, you will be able to use it.”
John was confused. It was a great skill for sure but where was he going to get a plane?
“Haha, not all these worlds are on the ground John. That last world you were in, a skill like that would come in handy in many situations.”
“I will take your word on it then. I am not going back there until I am stronger. Can you give me two spins on the Eroge please”.
He already decided he was not going to waste a ton of Tokens on it, but would pull a couple spins each time he was at DEN to see if he could get the improved health benefits Alec said were waiting for him there.
Spin. Noise. Pink hearts and blue diamonds glittering around him.
“Congratulations! You have acquired ‘Increased Length’. 1 cm has been added to the length of your penis. Congratulations! You have acquired ‘Increased Density” Your soft tissues and muscles will become firmer.”
John felt the changes immediately. He poked one of his biceps to confirm this thought. Those muscles, once a little flimsy, felt firmer. He wasn’t jacked or anything, but he felt more of his actual age was being shed off. He was getting healthier.
What a day. He died, then had his heart fixed, now he was feeling more youthful again.
Alec, still across from him, smiled at Johns thoughts. “Would you like to spin again? You still have over four hundred points.”
“No, lets save the rest for next time.”
“Very good. Now before we send you off, you have been in three worlds now. Have you noticed anything different about yourself while there?”
John thought about it. He wasn’t sure exactly what Alec was trying to ask him here, but he wasn’t really sure what to say. He just kind of went with the flow in each one. “No I can’t say I have noticed anything in particular. Why?”
“Just think about it for the next time your here. I will ask you again at that time.”
John nodded and got up. He really didn’t feel like going for snacks right then. He then noticed something.
“Hey umm, where is my armour and sword?”
“Right where you left them.”
“Oh…right. I suppose I would have to go back and get them then wouldn’t I.”
“Yes you would. It shouldn’t be necessary for your first dive somewhere. Depending on the world you go to John, some you will want to have them, others they would be useless. That Zergling would probably have torn through that armour like paper.”
“Fine. I’ll go back another day then. For now…” he glanced over at the doors. The Green and Blue doors both had the police tape over them, while the White door was lit up, The Great Cleric over the top. The remaining doors, Red, Purple, Gold, Silver, Brown, Orange, Pink, and Black all had <World Randomizer> lit on the screen above them.
“I’ll see you when I get back!” he said as he walked over to the Silver door and went through it.
The sign above the door went blank and the spelled out <Infinite Frontiers>
*Canonically he was 29 at the start of the first game…but John is old right =)
** Made up stat. If you want to calculate G-Forces for that be my guest.
Source: Webnovel.com, updated by NovelKeep
Chapters
- Chapter 216 – ♥♥♥ Turning The Tables On A Crazy Rabbit
- Chapter 215 – Insanity Is The Spice Of Life
- Chapter 214 – Elders And Kids Say The Darndest Things
- Chapter 213 – Breakfast And A Show
- Chapter 212 – The Power Of Hunger
- Chapter 211 – The Hunger Grows And The Doctor Strikes
- Chapter 210 – Deviants And Dragons
- Chapter 209 – Dancing His Way Into Women’s Hearts
- Chapter 208 – Growing Respect
- Chapter 207 – Sibling Rivalry
- Chapter 206 – It’s The Results That Count
- Chapter 205 – ♥♥♥ Tenderized Glazed Rabbit
- Chapter 204 – An Unexpected Dinner And A Show
- Chapter 203 – Forethought, Foresight, And Family
- Chapter 202 – The Hero Behind A Mask
- Chapter 201 – Twilight Tears
- Chapter 200 – A Connoisseur Of The Arts
- Chapter 199 – Rising Infernos
- Chapter 198 – Life As A Side Character
- Chapter 197 – Feelings And Egg-cellence
- Chapter 196 – Spicy Dinner Conversations With A Side Of Self-Reflection
- Chapter 195 – Personal Space Is Overrated
- Chapter 194 – Ruminations Of A Rabbit
- Chapter 193 – Carrots And Confessions
- Chapter 192 – Eye Spy With My Little Eye Something That Begins With T
- Chapter 191 – Offers From A Rambling Grandma
- Chapter 190 – Keep An Eye Open When Probing For Mines
- Chapter 189 – She Is A Little eXtra
- Chapter 188 – Not All Walls Can Be “Dig” Through
- Chapter 187 – The Paladin Without A Plan
- Chapter 186 – The Other Side Of The Mountain
- Chapter 185 – Crazy Comes In All Shapes And Sizes
- Chapter 184 – The Difficulties Of Staying On Topic
- Chapter 183 – Sometimers Strikes Again
- Chapter 182 – The Good And The Bad
- Chapter 181 – A Carrot A Day
- Chapter 180 – One Of A Kind
- Chapter 179 – The Night That Luna Fell
- Chapter 178 – A Time For Tea
- Chapter 177 – Sagely Advice
- Chapter 176 – The Rules Of The Game
- Chapter 175 – Escape From U.S.J.
- Chapter 174 – Twilight’s Herald
- Chapter 173 – A Mountain Of Trouble
- Chapter 172 – ♥♥ Clams, Catfolk, And Catnip
- Chapter 171 – For Science!
- Chapter 170 – The Problems With Pelicans
- Chapter 169 – Gunship Diplomacy
- Chapter 168 – Don’t Look A Gift Horse In The Mouth
- Chapter 167 – The Steel Within
- Chapter 166 – ♥♥ Unexpected Consequences
- Chapter 165 – Ignorance Was Bliss
- Chapter 164 – But Wait! There’s More!
- Chapter 163 – Be All That You Don’t Want To Be!
- Chapter 162 – It is Elemental, My Dear John
- Chapter 161 – Dancing With Wolves
- Chapter 160 – Giving Those Naughty Puppies A Whipping
- Chapter 159 – When The Cheap Sunglasses Finally Broke
- Chapter 158 – Honour Is A Heavy Burden To Bear
- Chapter 157 – ♥♥ A Broken Angel In His Arms
- Chapter 156 – Planning, Trauma, And The Mysteries Of A Red Cup
- Chapter 155 – With Eyes Wide Open
- Chapter 154 – ♥ Growing Problems With Communication
- Chapter 153 – One Oath Is As Good As Another, Right?
- Chapter 152 – Predatory Pirate Vs A Wrathful Wizard
- Chapter 151 – The Wizard Of Blackstone
- Chapter 150 – A John A Day Keeps The Doctor Away
- Chapter 149 – Out Of The Frying Pan
- Chapter 148 – A Dangling Thread Of Intrigue
- Chapter 147 – An Anger Fueled By Nuclear Fires
- Chapter 146 – Rock’em, Sock’em, 3049
- Chapter 145 – With Bated Breath
- Chapter 144 – Kinder Surprise Toys Just Ain’t What They Used To Be
- Chapter 143 – ♥♥♥ The Maiden Who Came To The Villain Of DEN
- Chapter 142 – Kids Say The Darndest Things
- Chapter 141 – What Goes Bump In The Middle Of The Afternoon
- Chapter 140 – The Angry Little Landmine That Could
- Chapter 139 – Slow Dance With A Cannon Opener
- Chapter 138 – A HEAP Of Trouble
- Chapter 137 – Snakes Have No Protection From Privacy Breeches
- Chapter 136 – Bargains Over A Cup Of Coffee
- Chapter 135 – Memories Of The Past, Pains Of The Future
- Chapter 134 – More Than One Way To Win A Woman’s Heart
- Chapter 133 – Rougher Side Of The Periphery Life
- Chapter 132 – Troubles And Opportunities
- Chapter 131 – The Unsinkable Suzy Q
- Chapter 130 – Cookin’ With Lasers
- Chapter 129 – The Disposables
- Chapter 128 – Questions? Just Ask Alec! Results May Vary
- Chapter 127 – You Lose Some, You Win Some, Have A Drink And You Will Feel Better
- Chapter 126 – By The Will Of The Light, By The Hand Of John
- Chapter 125 – ♥♥♥ Cloaking His Dagger
- Chapter 124 – A Cup Of Tea
- Chapter 123 – Problems Of People, Politics, And Pelicans
- Chapter 122 – ♥♥ Paradise By The Cockpit Lights
- Chapter 121 – The Duality Of John
- Chapter 120 – ♥ Bittersweet Victories
- Chapter 119 – An Ocean Of Nightmares, An Armful Of Dreams
- Chapter 118 – The Fortunate Son
- Chapter 117 – Eh-ighties Action Star
- Chapter 116 – Wet Towels And Cheap Whiskey
- Chapter 115 – Always Be Discrete In Your Indiscretions
- Chapter 114 – Implied Threats
- Chapter 113 – The Dangers Of Using An Unlicensed Barber
- Chapter 112 – Laughter, Isn’t Always The Best Medicine
- Chapter 111 – To Be A Leader
- Chapter 110 – Prince John, The Man, The Myth, The Legend, The Florida Man
- Chapter 109 – ♥ The Sweet Nothings Of A Strawberry
- Chapter 108 – Blame It On The Wine
- Chapter 107 – The Rage Within
- Chapter 106 – A Harsh Reminder
- Chapter 105 – Walk Softly And Carry A Big Hammer
- Chapter 104 – A, B, C, D, Why Is Alec Messing With Me?
- Chapter 103 – One Hand Giveth, The Other Taketh Away
- Chapter 102 – ♥♥ A Taste Of The Divine
- Chapter 101 – Dancing Amongst The Stars
- Chapter 100 – The Angler VS The Archerfish
- Chapter 99 – Driven Into Darkness
- Chapter 98 – Twin Calamities
- Chapter 97 – John Wayne, The Best Supporting Actor
- Chapter 96 – Delaying The Inevitable
- Chapter 95 – The Black Knight
- Chapter 94 – Tears Of Despair
- Chapter 93 – Nowhere To Go But Up
- Chapter 92 – Lurking Problems
- Chapter 91 – Unraveling World
- Chapter 90 – ♥♥♥ Three’s Company
- Chapter 89 – Arrivals And Departures
- Chapter 88 – Acting On Trust
- Chapter 87 – Meeting Of The Minds
- Chapter 86 – The Burden Of Truth
- Chapter 85 – The Price Of A Friend
- Chapter 84 – An Inconvenient Truth
- Chapter 83 – ♥♥ Naughty Elves Don’t Get To Make Demands
- Chapter 82 – Testing Boundaries
- Chapter 81 – A Test Of Bonds
- Chapter 80 – What About Breakfast At Niki’s
- Chapter 79 – A Master’s Responsibility?
- Chapter 78 – Bread And Circuses
- Chapter 77 – Infinite Frontiers – The Phantom Pain
- Chapter 76 – F-R-I-E-N-D-S
- Chapter 75 – ♥♥ Ruining A Princess
- Chapter 74 – Sibling Sideshow
- Chapter 73 – Burgers, Beings, Bombers, And Broken Noses
- Chapter 72 – Are Elves Bullies Too?
- Chapter 71 – The Six Billion GSC Man
- Chapter 70 – The Black Leather White Knight
- Chapter 69 – Debts
- Chapter 68 – Temptations
- Chapter 67 – A Brief History Of Infinite Frontiers
- Chapter 66 – Lost And Found
- Chapter 65 – Elves Are Cuter When They Are Bullied
- Chapter 64 – No Replacement For Displacement
- Chapter 63 – You Know What They Say About Assumptions?
- Chapter 62 – When In Doubt, Blame The Intern
- Chapter 61 – A 12-Gauge Send Off
- Chapter 60 – ♥♥♥ Playful Punishments With Fantasy Physics
- Chapter 59 – She Is A Good Girl, One Way Or Another
- Chapter 58 – Mother Knows Best
- Chapter 57 – She Is A Real Passenger Princess
- Chapter 56 – Yes, Embrace Your Anger
- Chapter 55 – Daddy Issues? Better Call John
- Chapter 54 – A Wild Pink-Haired Menace Has Appeared
- Chapter 53 – The Wonderful Wizard Of HOTD
- Chapter 52 – A Midnight Dance
- Chapter 51 – ♥♥♥ The Queen Of Awkward Timing
- Chapter 50 – ♥ The More Things Change, The More They Stay The Same
- Chapter 49 – Call Of The Canon
- Chapter 48 – Saved By The GRRRRAAAHHH!!!
- Chapter 47 – How The Turn Tables
- Chapter 46 – The Reality Of Dreams
- Chapter 45 – She Knows My Name
- Chapter 44 – Talk To Me Goose
- Chapter 43 – The Man Who Chose The Bear(folk)
- Chapter 42 – Mostly Harmless
- Chapter 41 – A Relaxing Ride
- Chapter 40 – Duck, Duck, Goose, Owl?
- Chapter 39 – Stirring The Pot
- Chapter 38 – Ones True Nature
- Chapter 37 – What Smells Worse Than Wet Dog?
- Chapter 36 – ♥♥♥ Bunnies Are Still The Best
- Chapter 35 – Five Gals Chatting, Four Contracts Binding, Three Faces Blushing, Two Damsels Dodging, And An Annoyed Paladin In A Pear Tree
- Chapter 34 – Nicknames And Pillow Friends
- Chapter 33 – Medieval Casting Couch
- Chapter 32 – Well, That’s No Ordinary Rabbit!
- Chapter 31 – Revelations
- Chapter 30 – The Start Of A Legend
- Chapter 29 – ♥ Love, War, And Terrible Back Pains
- Chapter 28 – Pains Of The Past, Present, And Future
- Chapter 27 – Promises And Pitfalls
- Chapter 26 – Cruel And Unusual Co-workers
- Chapter 25 – ♥♥ One-Sided Family Planning
- Chapter 24 – The Principle VS The Fallen
- Chapter 23 – The Devil’s Due
- Chapter 22 – The Principal Strikes Back!
- Chapter 21 – Power Of Destruction And Power Naps
- Chapter 20 – Student Council VS Principle Wayne
- Chapter 19 – That Pent Up Aggression Needs An Outlet
- Chapter 18 – Space Aged Tractor Simulator 2000 W/Cat Herding DLC
- Chapter 17 – Not The Cologne I Was Looking For
- Chapter 16 – It’s A Trap!
- Chapter 15 – The Clothes Make The Man
- Chapter 14 – You Can Never Avoid The Bureaucracy
- Chapter 13 – Set For Ludicrous Speed
- Chapter 12 – Consequences Of Drinking The Nectar Of The Gods
- Chapter 11 – Cuddles and Conundrums
- Chapter 10 – ♥♥♥ Bunnies Are Just The Best
- Chapter 9 – The Dangers Of Health Drinks
- Chapter 8 – Deals, Contracts, And Unwise Spending Habits
- Chapter 7 – Day Drinking, The Proper Way To Train Magic
- Chapter 6 – Why Are There Freaking Dinosaurs!
- Chapter 5 – This Show Needs An Epilepsy Warning
- Chapter 4 – No Good Deed Goes Unpunished
- Chapter 3 – Karma vs Canon
- Chapter 2 – Noise Violation Consequences
- Chapter 1 – High School of the Nope
- Prologue – Truck-Kun’s Collateral Damage