Maybe I’m not in danger.
John had thought the horny tigerfolk was going to jump him pretty quickly when they entered the cabana, but instead they cuddled in the pile of pillows and chatted for a little bit and just enjoyed the sun and beach. She explained that she stopped in here while he was in Battletech to set up this little vacation.
She laughed a bit while recounting the look of surprise, confusion, and terror on the current Queen of Pantheria’s face when her great-great-great Grandmother showed up out of the blue. She was worried that Xiaolin was angry and intent on reclaiming her throne, and was surprised that Xiaolin was just visiting and that her only request was to commandeer the beach for a couple of days.
John laughed at that, then asked more about her time here, which led them to talk about her experiences here for about an hour. She suddenly jumped up on his lap after a bit, a playful expression on her face. She took his coconut, which seemed to use the same technology as the Red Solo cup that had kept refilling did, and set it aside. He then grabbed a hold of her hips, rubbing his hands up and down her sides.
She leaned down and gave him a kiss. “Are you ready to start your tropical beach vacation?” She said, grinding her crotch over his member, stirring Little John awake.
“Didn’t we already?” He replied, then pulled her in for another quick kiss.
“Mmmm…. Nope!” She said, then bounced off of him and landed near the entrance of the cabana. “Come on pokey! We are burning daylight.”
“But?” He said, but was quickly overruled.
“No buts! I actually booked a bunch of things instead of snapping my fingers to make it happen! Now, let’s go have some fun!”
He chuckled and stood up. He was content to lie on pillows all day long and sip margaritas, but apparently, they had a full day ahead of them. He took her arm, and they started walking down the beach towards a large wooden pier with several dozen different boats tied to it. On the beach in front of it were several different stands, each filled with different gear, staffed by different catfolk races. All were females and quite attractive, though none quite as alluring as the woman on his arm.
When they reached the first stand and stopped, John gulped; he definitely wasn’t sure if this was a good idea. “Umm… Really?”
“C’mon, it will be fun!”
I’m definitely in Danger!
“AHHHH!!!!” He shouted, the wind nearly taking his words away.
He and Xiaolin were strapped together and attached to a parasail, being dragged around the cerulean bay at some god-awful speeds. That wasn’t really the problem; it was actually quite fun, but she kept sending them spinning in random directions. His stomach kept wanting to empty the margaritas out, and he had to cast a cure spell now and again to settle his belly.
She was laughing at his distress, then sent a thought into his mind.
<This is just for research purposes. Are you having fun?>
What?
He felt her chuckling.
<I saw you watching those girls play volleyball, and heard your thoughts.>
What? They hit a ball towards me, so I tossed it back and watched them play for a bit.
<Oh, I’m not jealous. Just be aware that there are so few males being born here anymore that the women will do anything to get attention from the few remaining ones. It’s kind of sad, really, but that’s what happens when you prosecute wars against another race, and they have their backs to the wall. They got infected with a similar virus to the one you encountered in Infinite Frontiers>
Oh, is that why the Queen thought you were angry and going to take your throne back?
<Yeah, and before you ask, I could fix it, but I won’t. As much as I love my people here, they chose to do this by vote. They will survive the fallout, but it will be another generation or two before that comes to pass. They will be all the happier for it as well.>
I see. At least there is that.
<Yeah, being able to see into the future is handy sometimes. Now, let’s take another spin!>
“ARGH!!!” He shouted again as they abruptly took another hard dive towards the water.
R-18 Below
*Bubbles*
John was swimming around a coral reef with Xiaolin, the golden-eyed goddess, leading the way. They just had snorkels and masks on, which were enchanted with the local magic to act like scuba gear. He was surrounded by schools of colourful fish, most of which seemed completely unconcerned about their presence.
Below them, nestled among the corals, were giant clam-like creatures, much larger than he was. They swam down beside one of them that was just opening up. Nestled on its tongue was a large pearl nearly the size of his head, glowing with some sort of magical power that felt somewhat familiar.
<Can you grab that for me, Honey?>
Isn’t this going to snap down on me?
<Maybe, but that is half the thrill of pearl diving here. Don’t worry, it won’t kill you.>
John looked at her, then to the clam, then back to her. She was watching him through her mask, her golden eyes shining nearly as much as the pearl. With a shrug, he swam toward the pearl and gently picked it up off the animal’s tongue without disturbing it. Now that he had the pearl in his hands, he could tell that, for whatever reason, it was radiating holy magic energies.
He turned back to Xiaolin, intent on showing her the pearl, when his foot accidentally bumped the clam’s tongue.
*Snap*
The shell closed over his body, pinning him half inside the mollusc. It was dark, and he could feel the tongue pressing against his back, but he could still easily breathe. The shell was holding him near his waistline, but it didn’t seem to be putting as much pressure down on him as he expected.
Am I being hugged by a clam? Xiaolin, can you help me, please?
<My, my, my. What is this that has been served up to me on a clamshell platter?>
John felt something touch his legs, then a pair of soft hands moved up his thighs and to his waist. He felt Xiaolin’s fingers undo his shorts and pull them off, exposing Little John to the outside.
Xiaolin…
<Oh, how wonderful, it’s my favourite meal, sausage and scotch eggs.>
He felt her hand move to his sack as she began fondling his testicles while using her other hand to stroke him.
Really? We are doing this now?
<Oh, we are just beginning. Just make sure you clutch that pearl like I am clutching yours, my dear. It is almost as important as these are.>
She squeezed his sack as she rapidly began to stroke him, stimulating his glans with vigour. His ejaculation control skill kicked in, saving him from exploding immediately. She slowed her pace, letting him enjoy the feeling. It was really weird, since the clam kept trying to push him against its shell.
*Bubbles*
Fuck this is weird, but that feels really good.
She didn’t reply. Instead, she gradually ramped up her pace again, milking his cock while they were thirty feet underwater. He only lasted a few more minutes before he couldn’t hold it any longer.
Cumming!
He felt shot after shot blast out of his cock as she brought him to completion. A moment later, the clam let up the pressure that had been pinning him in and began to open again. He swam out of the mollusk and looked around. He was alone except for the wildlife. Xiaolin was nowhere to be seen, nor were his shorts.
He could hear laughter in his mind, and he guessed that this was her plan all along.
<I’ll see you up on the pier, honey. Don’t worry, clothing is optional on this part of the beach.>
He just shook his head at this playful tiger. If she thought that was going to stop him, she had another thing coming. He swam back towards the pier, still clutching the large pearl in one hand. His thoughts were on how to discipline a naughty kitty who also happened to be a goddess.
He was drawing a blank, but he would come up with something.
Later that afternoon
*GAWK, GAWK, GAWK*
After he arrived at the pier, to the gawking eyes of a dozen catwomen and one cat goddess, they boarded another boat that brought them further out into the bay. The captain of the boat was a black-haired, dark-skinned pantherfolk, whose yellow eyes couldn’t stop staring at Little John. She brought them further out of the bay to go shark fishing, leaving the pair of them alone on the quarter deck of the vessel.
This is how John found himself sitting on a deck chair, with a fishing rod in one hand, a beer in the other, and Xiaolin between his legs, giving him a sloppy blowjob.
*GAWK, GAWK, GAWK*
“God damn it, you are too good at this, Tiger,” John said, placing the rod in the nearby holder. He ran his now-free hand over her tiger ears, the furry nachos of fluff feeling amazingly soft despite having been submerged in salt water for over an hour earlier.
<I’m glad you like it. I’m really getting used to having your dick in my mouth. Its size, weight, and taste are perfect.>
“Mmmm…yeah, like that.” He said, setting his beer down so he could play with both her ears.
*GAWK, GAWK, GAWK*
He could feel himself getting close again, this time lasting for nearly thirty minutes, as she wasn’t as intense as the first time she gave him a blowjob.
“I am going to cum.” He warned, his pelvic girdle beginning to flex.
*Pop*
“Paint me with your seed, honey.” She said, leaning back to expose her naked chest to him. She had one arm underneath her large breasts, pushing them upwards, while the other continued to stroke him off. Her golden eyes were staring into his, and a look of desire formed on her face.
“Ahhh!!! Here it comes!” He said. A brilliant idea occurred to him just before he released, so he implemented it. Jet after jet of semen left his member, coating Xiaolin’s tits liberally with his now flavoured seed.
She continued to stroke him as he came, covering her entire chest with his cum. When he was finally done, she cleaned his dick off with a quick deep throat. She then started to lick his cum from her breasts, but paused, looking up at him with a curious expression spreading across her face.
“Did you… change your semen’s flavour to catnip?”
“That is for the clam.”
“You naughty man. You’re playing with fire, you know that?”
“I sure do.”
She continued to lick herself clean, then sat down in his lap. “This isn’t over yet. I am going to let this happen, and you can tell me if the prank was worth the price tomorrow.” She said, then kissed him.
They made out on the boat for some time, the tugging on his fishing line ignored in favour of the beautiful woman in his lap.
That Evening
“Mmmm, that feels amazing, your highness.”
“Please, call me Kaida. Calling me by my title in this situation feels weird.”
“Then call me John, please. I was confused when you called me the goddess’s consort earlier.”
“Very well. John, it is.”
John and Xiaolin were getting a very special couples massage treatment. Very special, as in the Queen and her Chancellor were giving them their massages personally. They were both mature ginger-haired beauties, twin sisters in fact. They both had vitiligo like Xiaolin, giving their olive skin the same stripes as hers, and were both gifted in the chest department.
John was lying there in nothing but a towel, as the scantily clad queen rubbed oil into his back, gliding over his body with hers. Xiaolin said in his mind to enjoy the pampering but agree to nothing if they ask.
They had arrived back from their boat trip, only to find a royal delegation waiting for them. John suddenly found his shorts on as he was about to step off the boat, Xiaolin quickly covering them both up. The Queen and her right-hand had decided to wait on them personally for the remainder of their trip, in hopes that Xiaolin would offer a solution to Pantheria’s current situation.
John and Kaida chatted for some time, John learning a little about their planet and their issues with a goblinoid race in a nearby star system. John just let it wash over him, enjoying her hands and body moving over his back. She had him flip over, then massaged his face before applying a mud pack and covering his eye with a cucumber slice.
Oil was drizzled over his body again as she massaged him from that side in much of the same manner. Little John was hard, but safely nestled away underneath the towel. This wasn’t an actual erotic massage… at least he hoped it wasn’t.
Eventually, she stopped and told him just to lie back and relax and that she would be back in thirty minutes for both of them for the next stop in their spa treatment. He thanked her as she was walking away, then closed his eye and started to drift off. It had been a long day.
Despite the somewhat primitive nature of this beach resort, Pantheria was actually a fairly advanced planet, having colonies in multiple star systems. Their technology was at a similar level to the Battletech universe, though they didn’t use jumpships but a warp drive similar to Star Trek’s. Not that it was really any of his business, this wasn’t one of his DEN worlds, but Xiaolin’s.
While contemplating the merits of the Roman Empire and trying not to think about DEN again, he heard two sets of footsteps pad towards him and stop beside him. Before he could say anything, two sets of hands started to rub his chest and abs, fingers running through the hair there.
Fetish in spoiler
Spoiler
Simulacrum – Copy of oneself (Xiaolin), anal
[collapse]
“John, John, John. Whatever are we going to do with you?” Two voices said simultaneously, or one voice from two different directions. He felt the towel disappear from his waist.
“Xiaolin? What is going on?” He asked, pulling the cucumber off his eye. He was shocked for a moment when in front of him were two Xiaolins. “Why… why are there two of you?”
“She is my Simulacrum, a copy I made of myself.” One of them said, leaning over his chest to give him a kiss. “I told you that you had to pay a price for dosing me with catnip. Now here it is. You’d better be ready, because you now have two of me to please.”
They both jumped up on the table then, one straddling his head, the other his waist. “Now, eat this pussy, while the other one rides you until you surrender. I want at least a dozen orgasms between the two of us before we go have dinneR… MMmmm. Yeah, like that.”
He couldn’t respond, his tongue already having dived into her moist cunt. He brought his hands up to her ass as he licked her vulva, running the Alphabet pattern to start. His nose was partially covered, her scent driving him wild with every breath as he continued to lap up her juices.
The other Xiaolin was greasing up his pole with oil, stroking it lightly as she ensured it was well lubricated. He could feel his tip being pressed up against something, then slowly, pushing inside her. It was tight at first, then opened up as he slid deeper inside. It had a texture he had never felt before.
Wait, am I in her ass? Or her Simulacra’s?
“We are the same person, John. Hah, we feel what the other feels, and, Hah, after tonight, we will merge back together.” She replied to his thought.
The first Xiaolin started to grind her vulva on his face, while the other one started to grind her hips, his member sliding around inside of her. His ejaculation control skill activated as the two tigerfolk started to go to work on him. Her thighs clamped his head tightly as he used his newfound tongue dexterity to great effect, assaulting both her clit and exploring her depths. It brushed against her hymen, this new body she had built once becoming a goddess, never having been used, then darted back out to continue his assault on her little bead.
The other Xiaolin had stopped grinding and was now bouncing up and down rapidly, his cock plunging in and out of her anus. Not content to be a passenger on this ride, he thrusted upwards every time she came down, burying himself deeply into her warm anal cavity. The oil she had lubbed him up with was also increasing the sensations he was feeling, and he knew he probably wouldn’t last too much longer at this pace.
Still, he soldiered on, attempting to hold on for as long as possible against the combined assault of the two divine beings. Trying to distract himself from the impending release, he grabbed onto both of their tails, stroking and pulling them as hard as he could.
“AHHH!!!” They both screamed at the same time, their thighs clamping down on him even harder as he inadvertently made them both cum simultaneously. He could have sworn his head was in a vice, one that she was torquing down even harder. Still, he did not let up, licking her and lapping up her juices as she rode out her orgasms.
The second Xiaolin’s ass clenched as she came, tightening her insides, and pushing John over the edge. Rope after rope of cum filled her ass as he came yet again today. She didn’t stop moving, milking every drop out of him.
“Hah, Hah. Mmmm… you are handling yourself better than I expected, Honey. But didn’t you ever hear the warning about pulling a tiger’s tail? Strap in, because we have just begun.” She said, grabbing his head and started to grind his face even more with her pussy.
“You better not let go of those tails, Honey. I want to feel this all night long.” The other Xiaolin said, fondling his balls as she grinded on top of his cock again, getting ready for another ride. He could feel some magic pump through him then, hardening him up.
Cheating with Magic, eh? Oh, darlin’, you forgot. You’re not the only one who can use magic.
He lifted Xiaolin off his face and, before she could complain, started to chant. “Heal!”
“AHHH!!!” “MMMMmm!” Both women orgasmed once again, his magic seemingly effective even on a goddess…goddesses?
Whatever, it worked.
He dived back into her sopping wet pussy, intent on making this woman orgasm as many times as he could before he tapped out. He might lose this battle in the end, but god damn, he wasn’t just here for the ride.
Thus the night continued, Xiaolin and her doppelganger tag-teaming John for the next ten hours. In the massage room, back in the cabana, in the ocean, and finally back inside her castle. Eventually, he had sated the tiger’s lust, though if he was honest, it was he who had to admit defeat as he could no longer go on.
Still, he had accounted himself well, both of their asses now filled to the brim with his cream, and they were cuddled up on either side of him in Xiaolin’s bed. His balls had never ached so much in his life from the abuse they received, and he was sure it would be a day or two before he could fire anything but blanks. They chatted for a few more minutes before they fell asleep to the quiet sounds of waves lapping up on the shore.
Source: Webnovel.com, updated by NovelKeep
Chapters
- Chapter 216 – ♥♥♥ Turning The Tables On A Crazy Rabbit
- Chapter 215 – Insanity Is The Spice Of Life
- Chapter 214 – Elders And Kids Say The Darndest Things
- Chapter 213 – Breakfast And A Show
- Chapter 212 – The Power Of Hunger
- Chapter 211 – The Hunger Grows And The Doctor Strikes
- Chapter 210 – Deviants And Dragons
- Chapter 209 – Dancing His Way Into Women’s Hearts
- Chapter 208 – Growing Respect
- Chapter 207 – Sibling Rivalry
- Chapter 206 – It’s The Results That Count
- Chapter 205 – ♥♥♥ Tenderized Glazed Rabbit
- Chapter 204 – An Unexpected Dinner And A Show
- Chapter 203 – Forethought, Foresight, And Family
- Chapter 202 – The Hero Behind A Mask
- Chapter 201 – Twilight Tears
- Chapter 200 – A Connoisseur Of The Arts
- Chapter 199 – Rising Infernos
- Chapter 198 – Life As A Side Character
- Chapter 197 – Feelings And Egg-cellence
- Chapter 196 – Spicy Dinner Conversations With A Side Of Self-Reflection
- Chapter 195 – Personal Space Is Overrated
- Chapter 194 – Ruminations Of A Rabbit
- Chapter 193 – Carrots And Confessions
- Chapter 192 – Eye Spy With My Little Eye Something That Begins With T
- Chapter 191 – Offers From A Rambling Grandma
- Chapter 190 – Keep An Eye Open When Probing For Mines
- Chapter 189 – She Is A Little eXtra
- Chapter 188 – Not All Walls Can Be “Dig” Through
- Chapter 187 – The Paladin Without A Plan
- Chapter 186 – The Other Side Of The Mountain
- Chapter 185 – Crazy Comes In All Shapes And Sizes
- Chapter 184 – The Difficulties Of Staying On Topic
- Chapter 183 – Sometimers Strikes Again
- Chapter 182 – The Good And The Bad
- Chapter 181 – A Carrot A Day
- Chapter 180 – One Of A Kind
- Chapter 179 – The Night That Luna Fell
- Chapter 178 – A Time For Tea
- Chapter 177 – Sagely Advice
- Chapter 176 – The Rules Of The Game
- Chapter 175 – Escape From U.S.J.
- Chapter 174 – Twilight’s Herald
- Chapter 173 – A Mountain Of Trouble
- Chapter 172 – ♥♥ Clams, Catfolk, And Catnip
- Chapter 171 – For Science!
- Chapter 170 – The Problems With Pelicans
- Chapter 169 – Gunship Diplomacy
- Chapter 168 – Don’t Look A Gift Horse In The Mouth
- Chapter 167 – The Steel Within
- Chapter 166 – ♥♥ Unexpected Consequences
- Chapter 165 – Ignorance Was Bliss
- Chapter 164 – But Wait! There’s More!
- Chapter 163 – Be All That You Don’t Want To Be!
- Chapter 162 – It is Elemental, My Dear John
- Chapter 161 – Dancing With Wolves
- Chapter 160 – Giving Those Naughty Puppies A Whipping
- Chapter 159 – When The Cheap Sunglasses Finally Broke
- Chapter 158 – Honour Is A Heavy Burden To Bear
- Chapter 157 – ♥♥ A Broken Angel In His Arms
- Chapter 156 – Planning, Trauma, And The Mysteries Of A Red Cup
- Chapter 155 – With Eyes Wide Open
- Chapter 154 – ♥ Growing Problems With Communication
- Chapter 153 – One Oath Is As Good As Another, Right?
- Chapter 152 – Predatory Pirate Vs A Wrathful Wizard
- Chapter 151 – The Wizard Of Blackstone
- Chapter 150 – A John A Day Keeps The Doctor Away
- Chapter 149 – Out Of The Frying Pan
- Chapter 148 – A Dangling Thread Of Intrigue
- Chapter 147 – An Anger Fueled By Nuclear Fires
- Chapter 146 – Rock’em, Sock’em, 3049
- Chapter 145 – With Bated Breath
- Chapter 144 – Kinder Surprise Toys Just Ain’t What They Used To Be
- Chapter 143 – ♥♥♥ The Maiden Who Came To The Villain Of DEN
- Chapter 142 – Kids Say The Darndest Things
- Chapter 141 – What Goes Bump In The Middle Of The Afternoon
- Chapter 140 – The Angry Little Landmine That Could
- Chapter 139 – Slow Dance With A Cannon Opener
- Chapter 138 – A HEAP Of Trouble
- Chapter 137 – Snakes Have No Protection From Privacy Breeches
- Chapter 136 – Bargains Over A Cup Of Coffee
- Chapter 135 – Memories Of The Past, Pains Of The Future
- Chapter 134 – More Than One Way To Win A Woman’s Heart
- Chapter 133 – Rougher Side Of The Periphery Life
- Chapter 132 – Troubles And Opportunities
- Chapter 131 – The Unsinkable Suzy Q
- Chapter 130 – Cookin’ With Lasers
- Chapter 129 – The Disposables
- Chapter 128 – Questions? Just Ask Alec! Results May Vary
- Chapter 127 – You Lose Some, You Win Some, Have A Drink And You Will Feel Better
- Chapter 126 – By The Will Of The Light, By The Hand Of John
- Chapter 125 – ♥♥♥ Cloaking His Dagger
- Chapter 124 – A Cup Of Tea
- Chapter 123 – Problems Of People, Politics, And Pelicans
- Chapter 122 – ♥♥ Paradise By The Cockpit Lights
- Chapter 121 – The Duality Of John
- Chapter 120 – ♥ Bittersweet Victories
- Chapter 119 – An Ocean Of Nightmares, An Armful Of Dreams
- Chapter 118 – The Fortunate Son
- Chapter 117 – Eh-ighties Action Star
- Chapter 116 – Wet Towels And Cheap Whiskey
- Chapter 115 – Always Be Discrete In Your Indiscretions
- Chapter 114 – Implied Threats
- Chapter 113 – The Dangers Of Using An Unlicensed Barber
- Chapter 112 – Laughter, Isn’t Always The Best Medicine
- Chapter 111 – To Be A Leader
- Chapter 110 – Prince John, The Man, The Myth, The Legend, The Florida Man
- Chapter 109 – ♥ The Sweet Nothings Of A Strawberry
- Chapter 108 – Blame It On The Wine
- Chapter 107 – The Rage Within
- Chapter 106 – A Harsh Reminder
- Chapter 105 – Walk Softly And Carry A Big Hammer
- Chapter 104 – A, B, C, D, Why Is Alec Messing With Me?
- Chapter 103 – One Hand Giveth, The Other Taketh Away
- Chapter 102 – ♥♥ A Taste Of The Divine
- Chapter 101 – Dancing Amongst The Stars
- Chapter 100 – The Angler VS The Archerfish
- Chapter 99 – Driven Into Darkness
- Chapter 98 – Twin Calamities
- Chapter 97 – John Wayne, The Best Supporting Actor
- Chapter 96 – Delaying The Inevitable
- Chapter 95 – The Black Knight
- Chapter 94 – Tears Of Despair
- Chapter 93 – Nowhere To Go But Up
- Chapter 92 – Lurking Problems
- Chapter 91 – Unraveling World
- Chapter 90 – ♥♥♥ Three’s Company
- Chapter 89 – Arrivals And Departures
- Chapter 88 – Acting On Trust
- Chapter 87 – Meeting Of The Minds
- Chapter 86 – The Burden Of Truth
- Chapter 85 – The Price Of A Friend
- Chapter 84 – An Inconvenient Truth
- Chapter 83 – ♥♥ Naughty Elves Don’t Get To Make Demands
- Chapter 82 – Testing Boundaries
- Chapter 81 – A Test Of Bonds
- Chapter 80 – What About Breakfast At Niki’s
- Chapter 79 – A Master’s Responsibility?
- Chapter 78 – Bread And Circuses
- Chapter 77 – Infinite Frontiers – The Phantom Pain
- Chapter 76 – F-R-I-E-N-D-S
- Chapter 75 – ♥♥ Ruining A Princess
- Chapter 74 – Sibling Sideshow
- Chapter 73 – Burgers, Beings, Bombers, And Broken Noses
- Chapter 72 – Are Elves Bullies Too?
- Chapter 71 – The Six Billion GSC Man
- Chapter 70 – The Black Leather White Knight
- Chapter 69 – Debts
- Chapter 68 – Temptations
- Chapter 67 – A Brief History Of Infinite Frontiers
- Chapter 66 – Lost And Found
- Chapter 65 – Elves Are Cuter When They Are Bullied
- Chapter 64 – No Replacement For Displacement
- Chapter 63 – You Know What They Say About Assumptions?
- Chapter 62 – When In Doubt, Blame The Intern
- Chapter 61 – A 12-Gauge Send Off
- Chapter 60 – ♥♥♥ Playful Punishments With Fantasy Physics
- Chapter 59 – She Is A Good Girl, One Way Or Another
- Chapter 58 – Mother Knows Best
- Chapter 57 – She Is A Real Passenger Princess
- Chapter 56 – Yes, Embrace Your Anger
- Chapter 55 – Daddy Issues? Better Call John
- Chapter 54 – A Wild Pink-Haired Menace Has Appeared
- Chapter 53 – The Wonderful Wizard Of HOTD
- Chapter 52 – A Midnight Dance
- Chapter 51 – ♥♥♥ The Queen Of Awkward Timing
- Chapter 50 – ♥ The More Things Change, The More They Stay The Same
- Chapter 49 – Call Of The Canon
- Chapter 48 – Saved By The GRRRRAAAHHH!!!
- Chapter 47 – How The Turn Tables
- Chapter 46 – The Reality Of Dreams
- Chapter 45 – She Knows My Name
- Chapter 44 – Talk To Me Goose
- Chapter 43 – The Man Who Chose The Bear(folk)
- Chapter 42 – Mostly Harmless
- Chapter 41 – A Relaxing Ride
- Chapter 40 – Duck, Duck, Goose, Owl?
- Chapter 39 – Stirring The Pot
- Chapter 38 – Ones True Nature
- Chapter 37 – What Smells Worse Than Wet Dog?
- Chapter 36 – ♥♥♥ Bunnies Are Still The Best
- Chapter 35 – Five Gals Chatting, Four Contracts Binding, Three Faces Blushing, Two Damsels Dodging, And An Annoyed Paladin In A Pear Tree
- Chapter 34 – Nicknames And Pillow Friends
- Chapter 33 – Medieval Casting Couch
- Chapter 32 – Well, That’s No Ordinary Rabbit!
- Chapter 31 – Revelations
- Chapter 30 – The Start Of A Legend
- Chapter 29 – ♥ Love, War, And Terrible Back Pains
- Chapter 28 – Pains Of The Past, Present, And Future
- Chapter 27 – Promises And Pitfalls
- Chapter 26 – Cruel And Unusual Co-workers
- Chapter 25 – ♥♥ One-Sided Family Planning
- Chapter 24 – The Principle VS The Fallen
- Chapter 23 – The Devil’s Due
- Chapter 22 – The Principal Strikes Back!
- Chapter 21 – Power Of Destruction And Power Naps
- Chapter 20 – Student Council VS Principle Wayne
- Chapter 19 – That Pent Up Aggression Needs An Outlet
- Chapter 18 – Space Aged Tractor Simulator 2000 W/Cat Herding DLC
- Chapter 17 – Not The Cologne I Was Looking For
- Chapter 16 – It’s A Trap!
- Chapter 15 – The Clothes Make The Man
- Chapter 14 – You Can Never Avoid The Bureaucracy
- Chapter 13 – Set For Ludicrous Speed
- Chapter 12 – Consequences Of Drinking The Nectar Of The Gods
- Chapter 11 – Cuddles and Conundrums
- Chapter 10 – ♥♥♥ Bunnies Are Just The Best
- Chapter 9 – The Dangers Of Health Drinks
- Chapter 8 – Deals, Contracts, And Unwise Spending Habits
- Chapter 7 – Day Drinking, The Proper Way To Train Magic
- Chapter 6 – Why Are There Freaking Dinosaurs!
- Chapter 5 – This Show Needs An Epilepsy Warning
- Chapter 4 – No Good Deed Goes Unpunished
- Chapter 3 – Karma vs Canon
- Chapter 2 – Noise Violation Consequences
- Chapter 1 – High School of the Nope
- Prologue – Truck-Kun’s Collateral Damage