Chapter 17 – Not The Cologne I Was Looking For
The smell of food, cigarettes, and cheap beer assaulted John as he stepped through the door. The same grey steel that dominated most of the station lined the walls, with only a few oddly shaped decorations hanging here and there broke up the monotony of the drab colour. In front of him was a counter with a few receptionists sitting behind it, and three lines of people waiting to be served.
The rest of the room however was packed full of people, sitting at numerous tables or standing at a long bar along the far wall. The room itself was ‘L’ shaped, with the small side being where he entered, and the larger side being where the bar and tables were.
This place looks more like a restaurant or a bar than a guild office.
That was his first impressions upon entering the Mercenary guild anyway.
Not knowing what he should do, he stood in one of the lines and people watched while he waited. The first thing that came to his mind was he was severely over dressed for this establishment.
Pressurized flight suits like the one Katrina was wearing when they first met were quite common, along with some weird paramilitary style gear straight out of ‘Mad Max’.
The colours of the outfits varied like a box of crayons, with one hulking bald man wearing a pink and golden combat vest and pants, while the girl beside him had bright pink hair with gold highlights. She was wearing a tight fitting black flight suit that did nothing to hide her massive breasts, black lipstick and way too much black eyeshadow. They were both laughing loudly, deep in their cups, which was mixing well in the calamity of noise in the room. He could barely hear himself think.
Where in the hell am I?
The rest of the room was no better, like it was one big party. He did notice there were only a handful of men compared to the women, maybe 5 to 1 or even more.
Why would there be more women in a pseudo military organization? That doesn’t make a lot of sense.
As the line slowly moved forward, some people would leave the guild, others would go join whatever the festivities were in the main area. John was seriously considering returning to his ship and coming back tomorrow when an arm wrapped around his shoulders.
“Saaaaayyyy… yoouu don’t look like like yer a merc! Are ya some rich merchant? Ya hiring guards?” slurred a feminine voice beside his ear, obviously drunk.
He looked over to the owner of the arm and blinked. There was a beautiful woman with a platinum blonde head of hair, pointy ears, fair skin with a light dusting of freckles on her cheeks, and a set of sharp yet beautiful green eyes, which were currently staring up at him from his chest level. She was leaning on him heavily, a drink in her free hand waving around. He couldn’t tell how tall she was since she was leaning on him, but she was probably between five foot seven and five foot ten.
“Me and me friends *Hic* will work fer ya if its a good job. We just got back and are celebrating! C’mere and join us!” She continued, then gestured to her friend. John didn’t have time to look, as she had shifted her weight again, and his back decided it needed to lay down right then.
John collapsed to the deck, now the second time he fell over since DEN reincarnated him, due to some drunk idiot. She followed him down, their limbs tangled together, her beer poured out over his chest and face. The pain wasn’t as excruciating as last time, but still caused him to yell out angrily.
“Jesus, Fuck. Get off me you sloppy cunt!” he bellowed, then pushed her off him. He grabbed her chest and pushed, his hand engulfing her small perky breasts, no larger than a B-Cup at best. He had no time to dwell on this woman’s feelings on the matter, as he leaned forward and reached behind his back to cast a heal spell.
“Whoa? You can cast magic? Are you an Elf too mister?” The sloppy woman said, the indignity of being groped by a stranger forgotten. She was wearing a white flight suit with red highlights, though the chest was cut low to show off what little cleavage she had. By her side was a small pistol, and a sheathed combat knife.
“Fuck no, I am a Human. Now please let me be, I have an old injury the Auto-Docs can’t fix and you just aggravated it.” He growled, then cast his heal spell again.
John managed to get the pain under control, then stood up. He was now soaked in beer and didn’t have a change of clothes with him. Great way to start a business meeting. He ignored the drunken girl, who was just standing up, and moved back in line.
I really need to get a more permanent solution for my body soon. I can’t keep falling over every time someone bumps me.
He was trying to recall what Alec said in DEN, that the Eroge ‘got ya’ would have permanent fixes for him or something like that. He was considering returning soon. Even if he only got a few points, it was steady progress. He still had plenty of doors he needed to try. Maybe there was a door where he didn’t have people leaning on him all the time.
He also wanted to unlock his magic to get back to Highschool of the Dead, let out some of this building aggression he was feeling on some zombies. No one cares if you kill zombies.
The woman didn’t come annoy him again thankfully, and John moved up to the counter. A man greeted him, dark skin, short cropped hair, wearing a loose fitting white shirt and brown slacks.
“Welcome to the Mercenary Guild, my name is Jahred. I saw that little incident earlier and we apologize for our members behavior. How can I help you today?” he asked, tone all business.
“Good evening, my name is John Wayne, and I would like to sign up as a mercenary and get a contract reviewed and ratified.” he said, putting the business of returning to DEN out of his mind. He just wanted to leave now.
“You already have a contract?” The man asked, sounding confused.
“Yeah. I am…new to the area and had some special circumstances, so the INP offered me a contract.” John said, bringing up his ID and the contract with his Link. He wasn’t in the mood to explain his circumstances again…hell he was ready to return to The Great Cleric for a vacation instead. He really hoped one of the other worlds was quieter.
Jahred took the contract from his Link somehow and went over it, nodding as he read and whistling occasionally.
“John…no Captain, I see nothing wrong with this contract, and the pay is great though do you have a capital class vessel or something? Even if you do nothing, your earning every month what I earn in a decade. Plus free docking, full salvage rights, full bounty rewards, 25% of bounties any of your assigned fighters take, and cost plus ten percent for all ammunition replacement used while under their employ. Something like this is normally reserved for Platinum Ranked mercenary companies, not for an individual Captain of a ship.” he said, a shocked look on his face.
John was a bit shocked as well. He thought he had been ‘Honey Trapped’ by that ebony goddess with her silky voice that made him melt for some reason. Instead, it appeared to be a good deal for him. He didn’t even know about docking fees, or what was considered a good wage here. Long as he flew his ship for the INP, it sounded like he would be in a good position for whatever this world was about.
“Well, that is good then. Now, can I join the guild?”
“Of course. Assuming you are just a pilot, we have two options for you. The first, you start off as at Copper rank. This is the beginner level of a mercenary. You can accept Copper ranked jobs, and get all the bonuses that joining a guild nets you. As your ID says you’re a refugee, that means we will act as your representative if you get in trouble with the law, though that shouldn’t matter for you too much since you will be working with INP directly for your job.” He said, transferring a document of some sort to John’s Link.
“The other option is you can take a test in our simulators and we can adjust your rank according to how well you do. This would normally open other, more lucrative jobs for you, though your current contract prevents you from taking anything else for a year.”
“Yeah, I’ll just go for option one. I have no need for a test right now.” John said, his beer soaked clothing still wet.
I need to learn how to use my weapons first. I’ll check to see if there is a training program on the ship later. Not to mention I need to find the washer and dryer on my ship…probably should do that first.
“That is no problem. If you change your mind, stop back in here and you can take the test. That document will tell you everything you need to know about being part of the guild. Among those things, the guild also offers simulator training for both pilots and dismounted operations if you want to brush up your skills before challenging the test. The rates are quite reasonable at your rank level Captain.”
“Thank you. I’ll consider it.” John nodded.
“If you want to go more in-depth into anything, come here around noon, the guild is usually pretty quiet until 1400.” he added.
I think he knows I just want to get out of here now.
Jahred took about five more minutes to process John’s application, then sent him a digital ID with the name Captain John Wayne with his picture on it. The ‘card’ was Copper in colour, signifying his rank. With a nod of thanks, John turned around and left the guild, the drunk Elf woman nowhere to be seen.
He let out a huge sigh when he left, and was making his way over to the conveyer belts when he smelled something delicious. Nearby the guild was a street meat stand. Street meat, being a portable hot dog or sausage cart, often found outside of establishments where people are drinking.
A old man stood behind the cart, squashed looking face and a set of thick black glasses. It almost reminded John of the old man from a kids movie he watched with his grandchildren often, the one where he filled his house full of balloons so the developers didn’t demolish it.
He resonated a lot with that old guy.
He walked over to the stand. “Hi, what are you serving?”
“Feasga math mo bhalach, gabh e no fáge.” The man replied, but John had no clue what he was saying.
Didn’t I have a language translator?
“Sorry, I don’t understand.”
“Chan tusa an sgian as gèire anns an drathair a tha thu?” More garbled words.
“Can I just get the food please.” John was beginning to regret coming over.
“Gabh aon dhiubh no fáge á tighinn direach suas! 10 GSC.”
John transferred him some money. The man grunted and handed him a couple burgers. John looked over the condiments, and put a little ketchup on one and the other mustard. After the pizza and steaks, he wasn’t sure what they would taste like, but he was going to start trying things a little at a time to see what tasted like what before he doused his food with strange sauces.
He took a bite of one, and it tasted amazing. One of the best pieces of food he tried since he ate Gulgar’s cooking.
Wasn’t that only days ago? It feels like its been months for some reason. Dying has that effect on the body it seems.
“This is really good!”
“Toilichte gun do chòrde riut a bhalaich, is e uan talmhainn fuadain a th’ ann leìs á mheasgachadh spìosraidh agam fhèin.”
He wolfed down one, then asked the man for another couple to go. He grunted and spat out another long line of the unknown language.
“Cho fad ‘s a chumas ta thairis air a’ bhalach a tha á pàigheadh, faigh na tha thu ag iarraidh. Feumaidh a bhith snog an airgead sin a bhith á losgadh tuill nad phócaid.”
Then he smiled, packing another two burgers in a bag and handing it over. John threw him a hundred credits and started walking, forgetting that there was a conveyer belt nearby he could jump on.
He walked for a few minutes before his tired back reminded him that it wanted to lay down. He closed his eyes and stretched out his arms in a yawn, recalling that he didn’t need to walk back to his ship he could just ride when the bag in his hand suddenly disappeared.
He looked around and running away from him was a short, white haired young woman, his bag of burgers in her hand.
“HEY! Bring those-” He shouted, but gave up, the young woman already lost to the crowd.
He didn’t get a good look at her face, but he did notice two things. She had a pair of cat ears on her head, and a long white tail flowing out of her skirt.
“Are beast folk treated poorly enough here too that they need to resort to stealing food?” he said aloud to himself. It reminded him of the people in the slums.
He looked around, and didn’t think that was the case. There were plenty of beast folk walking around, many obviously well off.
Whatever it was, she was hungry, and he wouldn’t deny someone a bit of food. He knew where he could go to get more, and his ship seemed to make food from the cartridges. He wouldn’t go without.
Hopping back on the conveyer belt, he headed back to his ship, thoughts of a nice hot bath making him forget the poor little Neko who just robbed him of a couple burgers.
Two women sat in a far corner of the guild, piles of empty steins covering the table. The blonde elf was bemoaning the earlier incident to her friend and partner. She was even deeper into her cups than she was earlier when she tripped over the handsome, silver haired man.
“I’m ruined!”
“Why would you be ruined? He just pushed you away.” The other woman said, a very short red haired dwarf, downing another pint of the water they called beer here.
“He grabbed my breasts and didn’t say anything. Not a sorry, not a nice, nothing. Like they were not even there!”
“You did just spill a drink on him, he probably had other things on his mind than groping you.”
“That isn’t even the worst part though. Hager saw the whole thing, and now he is making fun of me for not being able to find a man with these tiny boobs. Everyone heard him and its embarrassing.”
“Hager is an idiot who thinks pink and gold go together with his complexion. Girl, yours are bigger than mine, what’cha worried about?”
“I’ve been an adult for twenty-five years now, and I haven’t found a man.”
“You know that is due to the plague, not due to your looks, you’re beautiful.”
“I should have stayed home. My mother had me set up with someone, but nooo, I just needed to play mercenary.”
“Ash stop ya belly aching, me brudder and sista have been gone for twenty years now doing the same thing, it’s a drop in the hat of time for us. You will be fine. You’re young and beautiful. You are a successful +Silver ranked mercenary at the young age of 76. You will find another handsome man someday and join his harem and have a family. No forced invitro for us okay!”
*Sniff* “You mean it Tanya?”
“100%. Flat is justice! Remember that!”
And with that, the two crack mercenary pilots clinked their glasses together, ready to take on the galaxy.
Source: Webnovel.com, updated by NovelKeep
Chapters
- Chapter 216 – ♥♥♥ Turning The Tables On A Crazy Rabbit
- Chapter 215 – Insanity Is The Spice Of Life
- Chapter 214 – Elders And Kids Say The Darndest Things
- Chapter 213 – Breakfast And A Show
- Chapter 212 – The Power Of Hunger
- Chapter 211 – The Hunger Grows And The Doctor Strikes
- Chapter 210 – Deviants And Dragons
- Chapter 209 – Dancing His Way Into Women’s Hearts
- Chapter 208 – Growing Respect
- Chapter 207 – Sibling Rivalry
- Chapter 206 – It’s The Results That Count
- Chapter 205 – ♥♥♥ Tenderized Glazed Rabbit
- Chapter 204 – An Unexpected Dinner And A Show
- Chapter 203 – Forethought, Foresight, And Family
- Chapter 202 – The Hero Behind A Mask
- Chapter 201 – Twilight Tears
- Chapter 200 – A Connoisseur Of The Arts
- Chapter 199 – Rising Infernos
- Chapter 198 – Life As A Side Character
- Chapter 197 – Feelings And Egg-cellence
- Chapter 196 – Spicy Dinner Conversations With A Side Of Self-Reflection
- Chapter 195 – Personal Space Is Overrated
- Chapter 194 – Ruminations Of A Rabbit
- Chapter 193 – Carrots And Confessions
- Chapter 192 – Eye Spy With My Little Eye Something That Begins With T
- Chapter 191 – Offers From A Rambling Grandma
- Chapter 190 – Keep An Eye Open When Probing For Mines
- Chapter 189 – She Is A Little eXtra
- Chapter 188 – Not All Walls Can Be “Dig” Through
- Chapter 187 – The Paladin Without A Plan
- Chapter 186 – The Other Side Of The Mountain
- Chapter 185 – Crazy Comes In All Shapes And Sizes
- Chapter 184 – The Difficulties Of Staying On Topic
- Chapter 183 – Sometimers Strikes Again
- Chapter 182 – The Good And The Bad
- Chapter 181 – A Carrot A Day
- Chapter 180 – One Of A Kind
- Chapter 179 – The Night That Luna Fell
- Chapter 178 – A Time For Tea
- Chapter 177 – Sagely Advice
- Chapter 176 – The Rules Of The Game
- Chapter 175 – Escape From U.S.J.
- Chapter 174 – Twilight’s Herald
- Chapter 173 – A Mountain Of Trouble
- Chapter 172 – ♥♥ Clams, Catfolk, And Catnip
- Chapter 171 – For Science!
- Chapter 170 – The Problems With Pelicans
- Chapter 169 – Gunship Diplomacy
- Chapter 168 – Don’t Look A Gift Horse In The Mouth
- Chapter 167 – The Steel Within
- Chapter 166 – ♥♥ Unexpected Consequences
- Chapter 165 – Ignorance Was Bliss
- Chapter 164 – But Wait! There’s More!
- Chapter 163 – Be All That You Don’t Want To Be!
- Chapter 162 – It is Elemental, My Dear John
- Chapter 161 – Dancing With Wolves
- Chapter 160 – Giving Those Naughty Puppies A Whipping
- Chapter 159 – When The Cheap Sunglasses Finally Broke
- Chapter 158 – Honour Is A Heavy Burden To Bear
- Chapter 157 – ♥♥ A Broken Angel In His Arms
- Chapter 156 – Planning, Trauma, And The Mysteries Of A Red Cup
- Chapter 155 – With Eyes Wide Open
- Chapter 154 – ♥ Growing Problems With Communication
- Chapter 153 – One Oath Is As Good As Another, Right?
- Chapter 152 – Predatory Pirate Vs A Wrathful Wizard
- Chapter 151 – The Wizard Of Blackstone
- Chapter 150 – A John A Day Keeps The Doctor Away
- Chapter 149 – Out Of The Frying Pan
- Chapter 148 – A Dangling Thread Of Intrigue
- Chapter 147 – An Anger Fueled By Nuclear Fires
- Chapter 146 – Rock’em, Sock’em, 3049
- Chapter 145 – With Bated Breath
- Chapter 144 – Kinder Surprise Toys Just Ain’t What They Used To Be
- Chapter 143 – ♥♥♥ The Maiden Who Came To The Villain Of DEN
- Chapter 142 – Kids Say The Darndest Things
- Chapter 141 – What Goes Bump In The Middle Of The Afternoon
- Chapter 140 – The Angry Little Landmine That Could
- Chapter 139 – Slow Dance With A Cannon Opener
- Chapter 138 – A HEAP Of Trouble
- Chapter 137 – Snakes Have No Protection From Privacy Breeches
- Chapter 136 – Bargains Over A Cup Of Coffee
- Chapter 135 – Memories Of The Past, Pains Of The Future
- Chapter 134 – More Than One Way To Win A Woman’s Heart
- Chapter 133 – Rougher Side Of The Periphery Life
- Chapter 132 – Troubles And Opportunities
- Chapter 131 – The Unsinkable Suzy Q
- Chapter 130 – Cookin’ With Lasers
- Chapter 129 – The Disposables
- Chapter 128 – Questions? Just Ask Alec! Results May Vary
- Chapter 127 – You Lose Some, You Win Some, Have A Drink And You Will Feel Better
- Chapter 126 – By The Will Of The Light, By The Hand Of John
- Chapter 125 – ♥♥♥ Cloaking His Dagger
- Chapter 124 – A Cup Of Tea
- Chapter 123 – Problems Of People, Politics, And Pelicans
- Chapter 122 – ♥♥ Paradise By The Cockpit Lights
- Chapter 121 – The Duality Of John
- Chapter 120 – ♥ Bittersweet Victories
- Chapter 119 – An Ocean Of Nightmares, An Armful Of Dreams
- Chapter 118 – The Fortunate Son
- Chapter 117 – Eh-ighties Action Star
- Chapter 116 – Wet Towels And Cheap Whiskey
- Chapter 115 – Always Be Discrete In Your Indiscretions
- Chapter 114 – Implied Threats
- Chapter 113 – The Dangers Of Using An Unlicensed Barber
- Chapter 112 – Laughter, Isn’t Always The Best Medicine
- Chapter 111 – To Be A Leader
- Chapter 110 – Prince John, The Man, The Myth, The Legend, The Florida Man
- Chapter 109 – ♥ The Sweet Nothings Of A Strawberry
- Chapter 108 – Blame It On The Wine
- Chapter 107 – The Rage Within
- Chapter 106 – A Harsh Reminder
- Chapter 105 – Walk Softly And Carry A Big Hammer
- Chapter 104 – A, B, C, D, Why Is Alec Messing With Me?
- Chapter 103 – One Hand Giveth, The Other Taketh Away
- Chapter 102 – ♥♥ A Taste Of The Divine
- Chapter 101 – Dancing Amongst The Stars
- Chapter 100 – The Angler VS The Archerfish
- Chapter 99 – Driven Into Darkness
- Chapter 98 – Twin Calamities
- Chapter 97 – John Wayne, The Best Supporting Actor
- Chapter 96 – Delaying The Inevitable
- Chapter 95 – The Black Knight
- Chapter 94 – Tears Of Despair
- Chapter 93 – Nowhere To Go But Up
- Chapter 92 – Lurking Problems
- Chapter 91 – Unraveling World
- Chapter 90 – ♥♥♥ Three’s Company
- Chapter 89 – Arrivals And Departures
- Chapter 88 – Acting On Trust
- Chapter 87 – Meeting Of The Minds
- Chapter 86 – The Burden Of Truth
- Chapter 85 – The Price Of A Friend
- Chapter 84 – An Inconvenient Truth
- Chapter 83 – ♥♥ Naughty Elves Don’t Get To Make Demands
- Chapter 82 – Testing Boundaries
- Chapter 81 – A Test Of Bonds
- Chapter 80 – What About Breakfast At Niki’s
- Chapter 79 – A Master’s Responsibility?
- Chapter 78 – Bread And Circuses
- Chapter 77 – Infinite Frontiers – The Phantom Pain
- Chapter 76 – F-R-I-E-N-D-S
- Chapter 75 – ♥♥ Ruining A Princess
- Chapter 74 – Sibling Sideshow
- Chapter 73 – Burgers, Beings, Bombers, And Broken Noses
- Chapter 72 – Are Elves Bullies Too?
- Chapter 71 – The Six Billion GSC Man
- Chapter 70 – The Black Leather White Knight
- Chapter 69 – Debts
- Chapter 68 – Temptations
- Chapter 67 – A Brief History Of Infinite Frontiers
- Chapter 66 – Lost And Found
- Chapter 65 – Elves Are Cuter When They Are Bullied
- Chapter 64 – No Replacement For Displacement
- Chapter 63 – You Know What They Say About Assumptions?
- Chapter 62 – When In Doubt, Blame The Intern
- Chapter 61 – A 12-Gauge Send Off
- Chapter 60 – ♥♥♥ Playful Punishments With Fantasy Physics
- Chapter 59 – She Is A Good Girl, One Way Or Another
- Chapter 58 – Mother Knows Best
- Chapter 57 – She Is A Real Passenger Princess
- Chapter 56 – Yes, Embrace Your Anger
- Chapter 55 – Daddy Issues? Better Call John
- Chapter 54 – A Wild Pink-Haired Menace Has Appeared
- Chapter 53 – The Wonderful Wizard Of HOTD
- Chapter 52 – A Midnight Dance
- Chapter 51 – ♥♥♥ The Queen Of Awkward Timing
- Chapter 50 – ♥ The More Things Change, The More They Stay The Same
- Chapter 49 – Call Of The Canon
- Chapter 48 – Saved By The GRRRRAAAHHH!!!
- Chapter 47 – How The Turn Tables
- Chapter 46 – The Reality Of Dreams
- Chapter 45 – She Knows My Name
- Chapter 44 – Talk To Me Goose
- Chapter 43 – The Man Who Chose The Bear(folk)
- Chapter 42 – Mostly Harmless
- Chapter 41 – A Relaxing Ride
- Chapter 40 – Duck, Duck, Goose, Owl?
- Chapter 39 – Stirring The Pot
- Chapter 38 – Ones True Nature
- Chapter 37 – What Smells Worse Than Wet Dog?
- Chapter 36 – ♥♥♥ Bunnies Are Still The Best
- Chapter 35 – Five Gals Chatting, Four Contracts Binding, Three Faces Blushing, Two Damsels Dodging, And An Annoyed Paladin In A Pear Tree
- Chapter 34 – Nicknames And Pillow Friends
- Chapter 33 – Medieval Casting Couch
- Chapter 32 – Well, That’s No Ordinary Rabbit!
- Chapter 31 – Revelations
- Chapter 30 – The Start Of A Legend
- Chapter 29 – ♥ Love, War, And Terrible Back Pains
- Chapter 28 – Pains Of The Past, Present, And Future
- Chapter 27 – Promises And Pitfalls
- Chapter 26 – Cruel And Unusual Co-workers
- Chapter 25 – ♥♥ One-Sided Family Planning
- Chapter 24 – The Principle VS The Fallen
- Chapter 23 – The Devil’s Due
- Chapter 22 – The Principal Strikes Back!
- Chapter 21 – Power Of Destruction And Power Naps
- Chapter 20 – Student Council VS Principle Wayne
- Chapter 19 – That Pent Up Aggression Needs An Outlet
- Chapter 18 – Space Aged Tractor Simulator 2000 W/Cat Herding DLC
- Chapter 17 – Not The Cologne I Was Looking For
- Chapter 16 – It’s A Trap!
- Chapter 15 – The Clothes Make The Man
- Chapter 14 – You Can Never Avoid The Bureaucracy
- Chapter 13 – Set For Ludicrous Speed
- Chapter 12 – Consequences Of Drinking The Nectar Of The Gods
- Chapter 11 – Cuddles and Conundrums
- Chapter 10 – ♥♥♥ Bunnies Are Just The Best
- Chapter 9 – The Dangers Of Health Drinks
- Chapter 8 – Deals, Contracts, And Unwise Spending Habits
- Chapter 7 – Day Drinking, The Proper Way To Train Magic
- Chapter 6 – Why Are There Freaking Dinosaurs!
- Chapter 5 – This Show Needs An Epilepsy Warning
- Chapter 4 – No Good Deed Goes Unpunished
- Chapter 3 – Karma vs Canon
- Chapter 2 – Noise Violation Consequences
- Chapter 1 – High School of the Nope
- Prologue – Truck-Kun’s Collateral Damage