It was Sunday evening and John was out for a walk. In fact he had been walking for a few hours.
It had been three days since his meeting with Rias. Three days since she offered him a contract. Three days since he beat a hasty retreat, telling her he would give her an answer on Monday after reviewing the contract that weekend. She shouted out the door behind him that they would begin moving tonight.
True to her word, when he checked the old school house on Friday afternoon, it was empty, with no trace of the office or Gasper’s room remaining. He sighed in relief at that, though wondered where she stuck to poor kid now. He wanted to check up on him, but he was now out of his reach.
Kind of.
He went over the contract at least a dozen times, wrote down a list of amendments he wanted to add, and things he wanted to remove. The whole thing seemed simple enough, though there was enough legal-eze that he needed to check a few definitions out. Not that he could take it to a human lawyer to confirm anything apparently.
Basically, what it boiled down to was;
One – The Gremory’s would move their operations out of the school (In progress as a show of good faith);
Two – The Gremory’s would protect John from any backlash from the Sitri’s (Pending acceptance);
Three – All Gremory operations within school grounds would cease. (In progress);
Four – John would submit to being reincarnated, becoming a Devil (Non-Negotiable);
Five – John would become a Bishop in Rias Gremory’s Peerage. (Non-Negotiable. Possibly Rook or multiple Pawn pieces depending on John’s strength);
Six – John would call Rias by her first name in private, or my king at official events (Non-Negotiable);
Seven – John would be provided with a sizable wage, along with special new accommodations. (Further perks negotiable);
Eight – John would be expected to do contract work when not working as the Principal of Kuoh Academy (Type of work negotiable); and
Nine – John would turn a blind eye to Sitri operations being conducted at the school (Within reason. Negotiable).
Yeah, John had to admit some of the perks seemed nice, but he wasn’t sold yet.
He wasn’t going to call a teenage girl “My King” for one, nor would he follow her orders without questioning her. That is just a recipe for disaster. The being reincarnated thing actually made him laugh a bit, since well…he already was, it didn’t matter to him if they ‘killed’ him again. He just wasn’t a fan of her being his boss, she already made several questionable decisions since she arrived at this school.
Yeah, let’s get that amended to more of an advisory position vs a direct subordinate. Devil or not, she is still a teenager.
Truly the worst part of the contract was number nine. He could not in good faith turn a blind eye to devils messing around at his school. They were there to learn, not cast magic at humans just because they feel like it, getting away with it just because they are devils. Off school grounds he had no control over what they did, but at the school, he had the control, and his students should always feel like they are in safe environment.
As a devil though, he would have more powers to protect his students from this supernatural world. He just needed more details on what his responsibilities would be, and what happens after Rias graduates? His contract was for two years to remain in Kuoh, and she graduates in a year? Was he expected to quit and start following her around? He had students here and at schools back in the USA he was already committed to.
“ARGH!” he groaned, turning into a nearby park to find a bench to sit down. It was early evening, and he didn’t feel like taxing his brain further today. He was already starting to feel like he was forgetting things. Like…where his apartment was.
Yeah, that was the other reason he was still out walking, he was lost, and phones at this time didn’t have touch screens and GPS built in apparently (They did, but John owned a Nokia 3310 Brick). Nothing like getting lost in a foreign country.
He sat down on a bench nearby a large water fountain. There were two teenagers beside it, looking like they were about to have their first kiss. He smiled and turned his head away, not wanting to disturb their moment.
He rubbed his temples, trying to will his brain to work correctly. All that time re-reading the same document left him mentally drained. He pulled out his phone and started flipping through menus. He was honestly considering calling…wait he had no contacts in his phone for here in Japan…err wait, why was ♥Rias♥ – Your Future King in his contact list? Did she steal his phone and add herself?
Something inside him said it probably wasn’t her, but he just shook it off.
Just as he was about to give up and dial her number anyway, he was startled by a rather feminine yelp coming from the fountain.
“WHAT! Is that a Spear? GU!!!”
John looked over to where the kids were and his jaw dropped.
The boy was impaled by a spear of…pink light?* Above him was a woman in black leather bondage gear, with a pair of gigantic black wings, holding another spear. John’s camera activated immediately, sensing danger. He stood up and started walking over to them. She changed her focus from watching the boy die to watching him approach.
“This is none of your business human, go, return to your home and forget everything you have seen.” She said in a commanding tone. A wave of magic washed over John, though it was barely as powerful as Sona’s was, if not a little weaker.
“Sorry, can’t do that Ma’am. You seem to be trying to kill one of my students.” He said, recognizing the kid as one of the three boys he suspended last week. He stood beside the boy, and while holding the giant camera, used his left arm to pull out the spear. He could feel his camera getting warm from just holding it so he tossed it to the side. He eased the boy down to the ground, the wound in his chest was well beyond what his skills as a healer could handle. He would need Middle Heal at the very least, if not High Heal.
Still he would have to try.
“Heal! Heal! Heal!” He shouted, feeling his Mana draining fast. The wound would not close though, and the kid was bleeding out.
“Are you ignoring me human? I guess I will have to kill you too!” the raven haired dominatrix shouted above him, then threw her other spear at him. It connected with his shoulder but did little else but wash over his body. His camera was heating up even more, causing his palm to sweat a little.
“How? Wait do you have a Sacred Gear too?” the woman said, stunned.
He ignored her and tried to focus on the kid in front of him. His breathing was shallow and ragged, and in a moment, the boys eyes closed and with his last breath, he uttered a single word. “Boobies”
John looked at the lifeless body in his arms for a moment, then stood up. The spear that pierced the boy was still laying beside him, so he grabbed it with his left hand. A cold glare was in his eyes.
“You monster! You are a child killer.” He growled at her, his left arm flexing around the shaft of the light spear. His camera was starting to get even warmer, nearly hot to touch.
“So what? He was just a weak human like you. You all mean nothing in the grand scheme of things. Why would I concern myself with what an insec- URK!” She started to monologue and when her eyes closed for a moment, John whipped the spear at her. He was no track and field athlete by any means, at least not anymore, but the short fifteen foot gap between them was nothing for his good left arm. He buried the spear deep in her gut, where her liver would be if she was human, he had no idea of the physiology of…what did Rias tell him they were called? He couldn’t remember.
The woman fell down behind the fountain, out of his line of sight. John started making his way around, but when he made a full circle, the body was no where to be found.
He returned to the boy, and found no pulse. He cursed at himself, he wasn’t quick enough to save him. He flipped his phone open and dialed 911. The phone just beeped at him and the line was dead. He tried again, and still no response.
“For the love of god, what is 911 in Japan!?!” He shouted to the night, nothing but sounds of the nearby town replying to him.
He paced around the body for a moment, trying to process what happened. He then stopped, having a lightbulb moment.
“I wonder if resurrection magic is a thing I can learn?” He said to himself.
If I return to The Great Cleric, I can pick up more spells. I need to ask Alec if training in other realms counts for gaining experience or not, else I might need to leave the Adventurers Guild there and explore a dungeon or something.
With that, John cast one last glance at the boy, then said aloud “DEN Return!”
The world shifted, turned fuzzy and went black.
*Poof*
Red smoke surrounded John, the music and announcers voice drummed out his thoughts for a moment. At least this time his body felt the same, though the exhaustion and mental fatigue were lifted. He was back in his bathrobe again.
He reached over to his side table and found some of that Westria drink in a glass waiting for him. After that night, he needed a drink. Child killers…sigh.
“Welcome back John! How was High School DxD?” Alec asked his usual introduction question, enjoying a drink as well.
“I don’t even know where to start Alec, that world…makes no god damn sense! Who decided it was a good idea to let literal kids try and run a school while they should be focused on their studies? Maybe it is because I am human, but you would think those parents of theirs, if they were even their parents, would know better than let teenagers try and run…anything.
Then this peerage thing. I don’t quite understand it…and that poor kid that died in front of me from the black winged …Fallen! That’s what it was…god I was so tired I couldn’t remember. What did he do to deserve that…and why was she in that kinky black leather suit? And what was with that bloody camera? There is way too much to unpack with that place.” John said at length.
Alec laughed “Many people have tried to make sense of that world John, and honestly, it is not worth the effort. It is what we call a TNA Manga…err…Tits and Ass comic, basically, the story is just their to fill in between scenes of scantily clad women.”
“Seriously? Why? And why send me there?”
“Why not? And we sent you there by the randomizer…not to mention we like looking at Tits and Ass, and Rias has one of the seven prime sets in the Omniverse. You already met another one, Miss Shizuka.” Alec said, a shit eating grin on his face that John felt like smacking.
“Prime sets…what…you know what, not important.” John said, knocking his drink back.
“You’re right, it isn’t. As for the rest of your questions. Yes those were both Rias’ and Sona’s parents and siblings. Most were well over five-hundred years old or more. As to why they were allowed to run rampant through a human school? Pretty and Rich privilege? Honestly it was never really explained well.
The camera was your new world bonus. We were just going to give you immunity to mind magics, but one of your admirers from the Omniverse, Sentinelsaga, came up with a wonderful tool we could give you. Your Sacred Gear is called ‘The Undying Camera Man’. Basically, you are immune to physical and magical damage while the camera is active. You did appear to have some issues with vibrations though, but that will pass with time as your body grows stronger. It will heat up quite a bit though as you receive more damage, but worry not, as long as you feed it mana, it will continue to protect you.
Peerages…I guess think of it as a group of underlings for a mob boss? Honestly, it really doesn’t make a lot of sense to us either. They use it for a way to help them grow stronger for fighting, but the fights in the underworld…well there are not a lot of risk to them. As for that boy? Well he was the main character! That was definitely a blow to the shows canon. You have really started to change the Lore of the DxD world and you have barely been there a week.” Alec said, a twinkle in his eyes.
“That is horrible…how many of these worlds will I have to watch a kid die in front of me?”
“Honestly John, probably a lot. Hell, look at High School of the Dead, you now have what, a dozen kids to take care of? Can you protect them all? And there are plenty of other kids in that…well lets not get into details, that is for you to discover on your own next time you’re there.”
“Jesus, I need another drink.”
“Help yourself. I have a feeling I know where you are going next, so you can have a few drinks and be quite safe, with your arms around a certain bunny girl eh!” Alec laughed at him like it was a conspiracy. John just smiled and shook his head.
“Yeah, I will be heading there, probably for awhile, though I did want to ask, if I am training my magic I have in one world, does it count in another? I mean…if I am using magic from The Great Cleric in other worlds, do I get better at it in The Great Cleric?”
“Of course! Any skill you learn, you can train it in every world. If you learn to be a swordsman in High School of the Dead, you are still a swordsman in StarCraft, though that would probably not help much there, unless you were crazy powerful. All the magic abilities you know, you can train in other worlds.
For example, High School of the Dead is a great place for beginners to adepts to train anything, as the vast majority of humanity has become zombies, so no one cares if you decide to go on a rampage and purge them all, in fact that would be ideal.” Alec said, hands clasped in front of his face, smiling at him.
John contemplated that for a moment, then was seeing a path opening up before him. Go to The Great Cleric for awhile and gain a few more spells, maybe even see if he could learn other types of magics. Then he would pop over High School of the Dead, and go wild with training, improving his magic further. Once he was more proficient with his abilities, he could either keep working on both of those worlds, or try another door.
He did want to open everything up, see all the worlds he had available, but getting stronger magic would probably serve him better, mainly when walking in blind to these places…StarCraft still gave him shivers.
“You are forgetting something John, and not just that I can read your mind. You do have a quest to work on, but you keep leaving places just as you are about to make it to second base or even third base…they usually skip first base in these worlds.”
“Your right, I did completely forget about that.”
“Yep. Finish that, and you get to carry an unending flask of that crap around with you everywhere. It is really great for training skills, mainly when you are not worried about levels.”
“Levels?”
“Yeah, some worlds, like The Great Cleric, have a leveling system, so you get stronger by killing things. That Substance X converts that experience you get from leveling to skill points instead. In most other worlds, it will just let you learn how to do things faster. Don’t think too hard on it, just consider it like a…like a full body steroid that includes your brains, muscles and nerves.”
“Right. Anyways, shall we continue…if I had other questions, I have already forgotten them.” John said. Even though his mental exhaustion was washed away when he returned, it didn’t mean he remembered every little detail from the last week…that was too much to ask his poor brain these days.
“Of course.”
[World – High School DxD – AU]
[Canon Completion (By Anime) – 2.5%]
**[Anomalies]**
[Major – Attacked by Sona and Tsubaki – 5%]
[Major – Met early and Attacked by Serafall – 5%]
[Major – Suspended Sona and Tsubaki – 5%]
[Minor – Noticed the inconsistences on how the school is run – 1%]
[Major – Met the families of Sona and Rias. Gained Sirzech’s attention early – 10%]
[Major – Met Rias and Akeno, learned about devils and how the world works early – 5%]
[Minor – Embarrassed Sona in front of her class -3%]
[Critical – Disbanded the student council – 20%]
[Critical – Suspended the perverted trio, preventing Rias from noticing Issei – 15%]
[Minor – Met Gasper Early – 1%]
[Major – Gave Rias and her peerage a scolding for Gaspers treatment – 5%]
[Minor – Healed Koneko, gaining Rias’ interest – 1%]
[Critical – Removed ORC from school property – 15%]
[Minor – Attacked Raynare with her own weapon – 3%]
[Diversion from Canon – 94%]
[Canon Snapback – 30%]
[Total Change – 66%]
[Canon Integrity – 34%]
[Rewards]
[Gatcha Tokens – 7000]
[New World Bonus – Confirmed]
[Stat Points – +7]
[World – High School of the Dead – Closed]
[World – The Great Cleric – Open]
[World – StarCraft – Open]
[World – Infinite Frontiers – Open]
[World – High School DxD – AU – Open]
[Calculations Complete]
[Would you like to allocate stat points now? Y/N]
“Holy crap! I almost broke the Canon away from the Lore in one shot!” John exclaimed.
“Yes you did, but I will warn you, the Canon can start working its way back, though it would never fully recover. Also, I should point out, some of the canon could be really good for you in some of these worlds. I won’t give you examples so as not to change your way of thinking, but if you feel it drawing you somewhere, you can follow it. It might present you opportunities to break it further, or have rewards for you that will be useful down the line.”
“And, why was the student council and occult research club so important.”
“They were not per se…but a lot of events occur at the school that no longer will, altering the timeline. Many of those events will probably still happen, but elsewhere. The Canon has a habit of making things happen, even when it is on the ropes like this.”
“Damn, well lets allocate those points. I would like to open up my magic please.”
“Of course! You have five points remaining”
John perused his status screen, starting to actually get comfortable with the thing.
[Status – John Suzy Wayne]
[Age – 83 ]
[Mana – 10/10% – +]
[Stats – Human Average 20]
[Free Points – 5]
[STRENGTH – 30 -> 24 (Compromised Internal Structure)]
[REFLEX – 22 -> 13 (Compromised Internal Structure)]
[SPEED – 20 -> 14 (Compromised Internal Structure)]
[ENDURANCE – 25 -> 18 (Compromised Internal Structure)]
[INTELLIGENCE – 25->12 (Early stages of Alzheimer’s. DEN System Maintaining Reincarnator. Exhaustion degrades condition significantly)]
[WISDOM – 35->14 (Early stages of Alzheimer’s. DEN System Maintaining Reincarnator. Exhaustion degrades condition significantly)]
[LUCK – 42]
[DEN Achievements – None]
[Current Gatcha Tokens – 8025]
[Skills]
[DEN Return (24 hr cooldown)]
[General Magic – Adept]
[Pilot – Savant]
[Dig]
[Ejaculation Control – Novice]
[Tonal Connection – Novice]
[Known Magic]
[Heal]
[Cure]
[Quest]
[The Cross-Worlds NoFap Challenge (repeatable)]
“What is up with my mana stat?” John asked.
“You have 10 mana in worlds without magic, and in worlds with magic, you gain 10% to your total magic. You can add more status points to it, but the cost goes up fairly quickly.”
“Yes, add them please.” He didn’t even stop to think about it. More magic meant he could do more healing, more healing means quicker spell power gain, which in turn would give him access to more spells…and the cycle would continue.
“Well to take the next level, it is two points to twenty percent and three more to thirty. After that, its six points to forty, ten points for fifty, and cost get even more expensive beyond that.”
“That is fine. I plan on working on my normal body stats soon, but this should be my priority until I can get healed.”
“Good call John. Even if you had fifty strength, your arm and back won’t let you use that strength yet…but you will get there.”
[Mana – 30/30% – +]
“Finally Alec, I would like one roll on Skill Gatcha, 5 rolls on eroge, and I dunno, give me a two mid tier rolls, one on the clothing and the other on a vehicle.”
“That will leave you with 6025 points John. Are you sure that is all you want?”
“Yeah, I want to save a bit for one of the top tier weapons or armour…if I am going back to StarCraft eventually, I want to be as prepared as possible.
“Very well, lets do this! Spin that wheel!”
The Gatcha popped up in front of him and started spinning. Spellsword – Master, Butchery – Adept, Basket Weaving – Novice, Psionics – Savant, Inventory – Master, Void Magic – Adept, Arbourist – Novice. The list kept going.
The wheel came to a stop and blue and green goo rained down on him, the sounds of canned audience laughter coming from somewhere to his side.
“What the hell!” John said, literally covered in goop.
Alec looked at him with a surprised expression “I have no idea…”
“Congratulations! You have acquired the Mid Tier skill – Ambidextrous – Adept” The announcers voice echoed through out the room. “This skill will allow you to use your left hand nearly as well as your right. Your dual welding dreams are coming true!”
“Seriously?” John said, an annoyed tone cutting across the stage.
“What?” Alec said, confused by John’s reaction.
“I am already Ambidextrous! I’ve had to use my left hand for over twenty years as my dominant hand for most things.”
“Ahh…well now you are even more disposed to it.”
“I hate this game sometimes.”
“I know you do John, and we love it. Anyways, lets do your clothing next.”
“Can I get cleaned up first?”
“Right. We will be right back to continue our oldest contestant’s gatcha spins after these messages. Cut to commercial.”
Soon as he said that, a team of three people, including Xiaolin, came out to the stage with weird vacuum cleaners and tools to clean him and the area around him up. The tiger-girl gave him a peck on the cheek as she vacuumed up his crotch, then winked at him. It didn’t take long and he was back to new, and they departed, leaving him and Alec alone on stage.
“Seriously though Alec, why the glitter last time, and the goop this time.”
“The producers want to spice up the gatcha draws a bit. It gets a bit boring to watch.”
“Can we try something different next time then? Throw a dart at a board? Draw a card? Heck I could smash a random pinata. Anything other than getting crap thrown on me please.”
“I will confer with the other higher beings and see what we can come up with. No promises. Though maybe we could use crap next time. Would you prefer chicken, or horse? or maybe something exotic like penguin?”
John just gave Alec a death glare, the grinning man lapping it up.
“Welcome back. Now we are here for some clothing.” Alec said to the room.
The wheel started spinning but John ignored it, and instead asked a question.
“So why is clothing so expensive? You would think it would be cheap to get a suit or an outfit.”
“Is that what you think the clothing is? No John, it is definitely not just regular clothes. These outfits all have special properties to them. They might not have the pure defense ratings like that armour you won, but they will all have different abilities. If I was to compare it to something, it would be like in dungeons and dragons, these would be your cloth and leather armours, while the armour gatcha is for your chainmail, plate mail, and more rigid protection.
“Isn’t that the game they used to say was only played by devil worshipers?” John asked. He never played it, and seemed odd, but it was on the news a lot in the eighties and nineties.
“Yes, but it was in fact only played by nerds who liked to do math and improv. It is actually much more mainstream today, you should try it sometime. Imagine yourself being in a fantasy world, filled with magic and strange creatures.”
Once again, John just stared at him, silent.
“Right…I suppose you don’t need to imagine that do you.” Alec said, his shit eating grin telling John that he knew damn well he knew what he was saying.
“I still remember the dinosaur, and the Zerg, not to mention zombies…I am good.”
The wheel came to a stop. Yellow and Silver lights flashed around John, working to give him a seizure. A chicken squeaky toy playing what sounded like blue suede shoes, the sound echoing through the room.
“Congratulations! You have acquired the Mid-Tier Clothing – Leather on Leather” The announcers voice echoed through out the room. “These clothes were worn by the king himself, providing you with bonuses while singing or whenever you are trying to be charming with the opposite sex!”
Black leather clothing materialized over his body, the bathrobe disappearing somewhere. Shoes, pants, jacket, and black socks. He had no shirt on underneath, leaving his chest exposed.
John stared at Alec for a moment, then at the clothing.
“This is…fucking amazing!” John said, surprising Alec for once. “I was always a fan, hell, he would only be a few years older than I am if he was still alive. I’d love to thank him for this.”
A deep musical voice sounded from the side of the stage where John couldn’t see. “You’re welcome!”
John looked around and then over to Alec “Seriously?”
“Yeah. He died and came here, made it through to the end, and is now our announcer.”
“What! The announcer is frigging Elvis?” John couldn’t hear his voice at all over the PA, though usually it was with really loud music.
“Hehe, why are you so surprised?
“Honestly, I don’t even know why anymore. Give me the vehicle please.” He said, rolling his shoulders in his new leather suit. It fit quite nicely.
“Just so you are aware, as there are fantasy worlds mixed with sci-fi, the vehicle might be a mount.”
“Sure. Though, now that I think about it, how do I move a vehicle between worlds?”
“Oh, just like the housing, we give you a token you can keep in your pocket. If you want to use it, you can just set it down where you want it and feed it some magic. It will grow into the vehicle or home. If you want to shrink it, there is a blue symbol on the outside keyed to you, feed magic into that and it will shrink back down to something pocket sized. When you are coming back here, just make sure it is in your pocket before you use DEN Return. Also, if you break it or lose it, we won’t replace it, so be careful.”
“I guess I should have asked about that before. That is pretty cool.”
“Yeah, doesn’t work for mounts though, biological things and the compressor don’t mix, so don’t try it. Just touch them and they will come with you here.”
Spin. Black and red sparkles and the throaty growl of a V8 Muscle car.
“Congratulations, you have acquired the mid tier vehicle 1979 Ford Falcon XB GT – Pursuit Special Mad Maxx edition. This vehicle has been heavily modified, and can run on almost any fuel. If it burns, this motor will blow it.” John was having a hard time making out the kings voice over the PA…but still, kind of cool. Then he realized what he won.
“First, a leather suit, now a late seventies muscle car? What is next, a mullet and some brass knuckles? Maybe a spiky shoulder pad?”
“We can throw those all in for free John, no need to worry about it.”
John sighed, pocketing his pocket sized car. It was just like a hot wheels. “Just give me my five Eroge spins please, I need a nap.”
Spin. Pink sparkles, green lights, and a banjo.
Congratulations, you have acquired ‘Increased girth’. 1 cm added to the diameter of your penis.
Congratulations, you have acquired ‘Increased length’. 1 cm added to the length of your penis.
Congratulations, you have acquired ‘Increased testicle girth’. 1 cm added to the circumference of your testicles.
Congratulations you have acquired ‘Nervous system renewal’. Your nerves are now those of a younger man, but be careful, the rest of you is still old.”
Congratulations you have acquired the skill Scouter – Novice. This skill will give you minor insight into what someone is thinking.
John felt a surge of relaxation across his back, slowly spreading across his body. All his senses were performing better, better than he had been for a long time.
[REFLEX – 22 -> 13 16(Compromised Internal Structure)]
“So what did that fix?”
“All your nerves except for the brain itself.”
“So what is left to fix then before I am well, normal?”
“Brain, disks in your back, shoulder and soft tissues. You probably want to start getting on a stretching routine soon. A lot of your muscles have atrophied over the years.”
“Yeah, I will…also…last thing before I go…I have no idea what cm’s mean for my penis size…what is that in freedom units?
“Two and a half rolls of quarters long and about the diameter of a kiwi wide.”
John blinked. “What?”
“Oh sorry, I thought you guys measured with everything except the metric system. Right now your about seven inches long and six inches around. We won’t let you get too terribly large, else you will just scare the ladies. Just those stats alone put you in the top one percent of men now. Probably even higher in these fantasy worlds with people with poor diets. Walk proud John, you’re swinging.”
John heard a cat call from the side, Xiolain waving to him. He waved back, and stood up.
“Well with that, I am off Alec. I will see you in awhile.”
“Take care, John.”
John moved back over to the white door and reentered the world of The Great Cleric.
*Yes it is magenta, but this is John, a tired John, its pink.
Source: Webnovel.com, updated by NovelKeep
Chapters
- Chapter 216 – ♥♥♥ Turning The Tables On A Crazy Rabbit
- Chapter 215 – Insanity Is The Spice Of Life
- Chapter 214 – Elders And Kids Say The Darndest Things
- Chapter 213 – Breakfast And A Show
- Chapter 212 – The Power Of Hunger
- Chapter 211 – The Hunger Grows And The Doctor Strikes
- Chapter 210 – Deviants And Dragons
- Chapter 209 – Dancing His Way Into Women’s Hearts
- Chapter 208 – Growing Respect
- Chapter 207 – Sibling Rivalry
- Chapter 206 – It’s The Results That Count
- Chapter 205 – ♥♥♥ Tenderized Glazed Rabbit
- Chapter 204 – An Unexpected Dinner And A Show
- Chapter 203 – Forethought, Foresight, And Family
- Chapter 202 – The Hero Behind A Mask
- Chapter 201 – Twilight Tears
- Chapter 200 – A Connoisseur Of The Arts
- Chapter 199 – Rising Infernos
- Chapter 198 – Life As A Side Character
- Chapter 197 – Feelings And Egg-cellence
- Chapter 196 – Spicy Dinner Conversations With A Side Of Self-Reflection
- Chapter 195 – Personal Space Is Overrated
- Chapter 194 – Ruminations Of A Rabbit
- Chapter 193 – Carrots And Confessions
- Chapter 192 – Eye Spy With My Little Eye Something That Begins With T
- Chapter 191 – Offers From A Rambling Grandma
- Chapter 190 – Keep An Eye Open When Probing For Mines
- Chapter 189 – She Is A Little eXtra
- Chapter 188 – Not All Walls Can Be “Dig” Through
- Chapter 187 – The Paladin Without A Plan
- Chapter 186 – The Other Side Of The Mountain
- Chapter 185 – Crazy Comes In All Shapes And Sizes
- Chapter 184 – The Difficulties Of Staying On Topic
- Chapter 183 – Sometimers Strikes Again
- Chapter 182 – The Good And The Bad
- Chapter 181 – A Carrot A Day
- Chapter 180 – One Of A Kind
- Chapter 179 – The Night That Luna Fell
- Chapter 178 – A Time For Tea
- Chapter 177 – Sagely Advice
- Chapter 176 – The Rules Of The Game
- Chapter 175 – Escape From U.S.J.
- Chapter 174 – Twilight’s Herald
- Chapter 173 – A Mountain Of Trouble
- Chapter 172 – ♥♥ Clams, Catfolk, And Catnip
- Chapter 171 – For Science!
- Chapter 170 – The Problems With Pelicans
- Chapter 169 – Gunship Diplomacy
- Chapter 168 – Don’t Look A Gift Horse In The Mouth
- Chapter 167 – The Steel Within
- Chapter 166 – ♥♥ Unexpected Consequences
- Chapter 165 – Ignorance Was Bliss
- Chapter 164 – But Wait! There’s More!
- Chapter 163 – Be All That You Don’t Want To Be!
- Chapter 162 – It is Elemental, My Dear John
- Chapter 161 – Dancing With Wolves
- Chapter 160 – Giving Those Naughty Puppies A Whipping
- Chapter 159 – When The Cheap Sunglasses Finally Broke
- Chapter 158 – Honour Is A Heavy Burden To Bear
- Chapter 157 – ♥♥ A Broken Angel In His Arms
- Chapter 156 – Planning, Trauma, And The Mysteries Of A Red Cup
- Chapter 155 – With Eyes Wide Open
- Chapter 154 – ♥ Growing Problems With Communication
- Chapter 153 – One Oath Is As Good As Another, Right?
- Chapter 152 – Predatory Pirate Vs A Wrathful Wizard
- Chapter 151 – The Wizard Of Blackstone
- Chapter 150 – A John A Day Keeps The Doctor Away
- Chapter 149 – Out Of The Frying Pan
- Chapter 148 – A Dangling Thread Of Intrigue
- Chapter 147 – An Anger Fueled By Nuclear Fires
- Chapter 146 – Rock’em, Sock’em, 3049
- Chapter 145 – With Bated Breath
- Chapter 144 – Kinder Surprise Toys Just Ain’t What They Used To Be
- Chapter 143 – ♥♥♥ The Maiden Who Came To The Villain Of DEN
- Chapter 142 – Kids Say The Darndest Things
- Chapter 141 – What Goes Bump In The Middle Of The Afternoon
- Chapter 140 – The Angry Little Landmine That Could
- Chapter 139 – Slow Dance With A Cannon Opener
- Chapter 138 – A HEAP Of Trouble
- Chapter 137 – Snakes Have No Protection From Privacy Breeches
- Chapter 136 – Bargains Over A Cup Of Coffee
- Chapter 135 – Memories Of The Past, Pains Of The Future
- Chapter 134 – More Than One Way To Win A Woman’s Heart
- Chapter 133 – Rougher Side Of The Periphery Life
- Chapter 132 – Troubles And Opportunities
- Chapter 131 – The Unsinkable Suzy Q
- Chapter 130 – Cookin’ With Lasers
- Chapter 129 – The Disposables
- Chapter 128 – Questions? Just Ask Alec! Results May Vary
- Chapter 127 – You Lose Some, You Win Some, Have A Drink And You Will Feel Better
- Chapter 126 – By The Will Of The Light, By The Hand Of John
- Chapter 125 – ♥♥♥ Cloaking His Dagger
- Chapter 124 – A Cup Of Tea
- Chapter 123 – Problems Of People, Politics, And Pelicans
- Chapter 122 – ♥♥ Paradise By The Cockpit Lights
- Chapter 121 – The Duality Of John
- Chapter 120 – ♥ Bittersweet Victories
- Chapter 119 – An Ocean Of Nightmares, An Armful Of Dreams
- Chapter 118 – The Fortunate Son
- Chapter 117 – Eh-ighties Action Star
- Chapter 116 – Wet Towels And Cheap Whiskey
- Chapter 115 – Always Be Discrete In Your Indiscretions
- Chapter 114 – Implied Threats
- Chapter 113 – The Dangers Of Using An Unlicensed Barber
- Chapter 112 – Laughter, Isn’t Always The Best Medicine
- Chapter 111 – To Be A Leader
- Chapter 110 – Prince John, The Man, The Myth, The Legend, The Florida Man
- Chapter 109 – ♥ The Sweet Nothings Of A Strawberry
- Chapter 108 – Blame It On The Wine
- Chapter 107 – The Rage Within
- Chapter 106 – A Harsh Reminder
- Chapter 105 – Walk Softly And Carry A Big Hammer
- Chapter 104 – A, B, C, D, Why Is Alec Messing With Me?
- Chapter 103 – One Hand Giveth, The Other Taketh Away
- Chapter 102 – ♥♥ A Taste Of The Divine
- Chapter 101 – Dancing Amongst The Stars
- Chapter 100 – The Angler VS The Archerfish
- Chapter 99 – Driven Into Darkness
- Chapter 98 – Twin Calamities
- Chapter 97 – John Wayne, The Best Supporting Actor
- Chapter 96 – Delaying The Inevitable
- Chapter 95 – The Black Knight
- Chapter 94 – Tears Of Despair
- Chapter 93 – Nowhere To Go But Up
- Chapter 92 – Lurking Problems
- Chapter 91 – Unraveling World
- Chapter 90 – ♥♥♥ Three’s Company
- Chapter 89 – Arrivals And Departures
- Chapter 88 – Acting On Trust
- Chapter 87 – Meeting Of The Minds
- Chapter 86 – The Burden Of Truth
- Chapter 85 – The Price Of A Friend
- Chapter 84 – An Inconvenient Truth
- Chapter 83 – ♥♥ Naughty Elves Don’t Get To Make Demands
- Chapter 82 – Testing Boundaries
- Chapter 81 – A Test Of Bonds
- Chapter 80 – What About Breakfast At Niki’s
- Chapter 79 – A Master’s Responsibility?
- Chapter 78 – Bread And Circuses
- Chapter 77 – Infinite Frontiers – The Phantom Pain
- Chapter 76 – F-R-I-E-N-D-S
- Chapter 75 – ♥♥ Ruining A Princess
- Chapter 74 – Sibling Sideshow
- Chapter 73 – Burgers, Beings, Bombers, And Broken Noses
- Chapter 72 – Are Elves Bullies Too?
- Chapter 71 – The Six Billion GSC Man
- Chapter 70 – The Black Leather White Knight
- Chapter 69 – Debts
- Chapter 68 – Temptations
- Chapter 67 – A Brief History Of Infinite Frontiers
- Chapter 66 – Lost And Found
- Chapter 65 – Elves Are Cuter When They Are Bullied
- Chapter 64 – No Replacement For Displacement
- Chapter 63 – You Know What They Say About Assumptions?
- Chapter 62 – When In Doubt, Blame The Intern
- Chapter 61 – A 12-Gauge Send Off
- Chapter 60 – ♥♥♥ Playful Punishments With Fantasy Physics
- Chapter 59 – She Is A Good Girl, One Way Or Another
- Chapter 58 – Mother Knows Best
- Chapter 57 – She Is A Real Passenger Princess
- Chapter 56 – Yes, Embrace Your Anger
- Chapter 55 – Daddy Issues? Better Call John
- Chapter 54 – A Wild Pink-Haired Menace Has Appeared
- Chapter 53 – The Wonderful Wizard Of HOTD
- Chapter 52 – A Midnight Dance
- Chapter 51 – ♥♥♥ The Queen Of Awkward Timing
- Chapter 50 – ♥ The More Things Change, The More They Stay The Same
- Chapter 49 – Call Of The Canon
- Chapter 48 – Saved By The GRRRRAAAHHH!!!
- Chapter 47 – How The Turn Tables
- Chapter 46 – The Reality Of Dreams
- Chapter 45 – She Knows My Name
- Chapter 44 – Talk To Me Goose
- Chapter 43 – The Man Who Chose The Bear(folk)
- Chapter 42 – Mostly Harmless
- Chapter 41 – A Relaxing Ride
- Chapter 40 – Duck, Duck, Goose, Owl?
- Chapter 39 – Stirring The Pot
- Chapter 38 – Ones True Nature
- Chapter 37 – What Smells Worse Than Wet Dog?
- Chapter 36 – ♥♥♥ Bunnies Are Still The Best
- Chapter 35 – Five Gals Chatting, Four Contracts Binding, Three Faces Blushing, Two Damsels Dodging, And An Annoyed Paladin In A Pear Tree
- Chapter 34 – Nicknames And Pillow Friends
- Chapter 33 – Medieval Casting Couch
- Chapter 32 – Well, That’s No Ordinary Rabbit!
- Chapter 31 – Revelations
- Chapter 30 – The Start Of A Legend
- Chapter 29 – ♥ Love, War, And Terrible Back Pains
- Chapter 28 – Pains Of The Past, Present, And Future
- Chapter 27 – Promises And Pitfalls
- Chapter 26 – Cruel And Unusual Co-workers
- Chapter 25 – ♥♥ One-Sided Family Planning
- Chapter 24 – The Principle VS The Fallen
- Chapter 23 – The Devil’s Due
- Chapter 22 – The Principal Strikes Back!
- Chapter 21 – Power Of Destruction And Power Naps
- Chapter 20 – Student Council VS Principle Wayne
- Chapter 19 – That Pent Up Aggression Needs An Outlet
- Chapter 18 – Space Aged Tractor Simulator 2000 W/Cat Herding DLC
- Chapter 17 – Not The Cologne I Was Looking For
- Chapter 16 – It’s A Trap!
- Chapter 15 – The Clothes Make The Man
- Chapter 14 – You Can Never Avoid The Bureaucracy
- Chapter 13 – Set For Ludicrous Speed
- Chapter 12 – Consequences Of Drinking The Nectar Of The Gods
- Chapter 11 – Cuddles and Conundrums
- Chapter 10 – ♥♥♥ Bunnies Are Just The Best
- Chapter 9 – The Dangers Of Health Drinks
- Chapter 8 – Deals, Contracts, And Unwise Spending Habits
- Chapter 7 – Day Drinking, The Proper Way To Train Magic
- Chapter 6 – Why Are There Freaking Dinosaurs!
- Chapter 5 – This Show Needs An Epilepsy Warning
- Chapter 4 – No Good Deed Goes Unpunished
- Chapter 3 – Karma vs Canon
- Chapter 2 – Noise Violation Consequences
- Chapter 1 – High School of the Nope
- Prologue – Truck-Kun’s Collateral Damage