“Welcome to my parlour, Mr. Wayne. I trust you enjoyed your evening.” Hinata purred as John walked in the door to her office.
“Really?” John replied, unable to help thinking of the spider welcoming the fly into her web.
“What. I thought you were having a pleasant time?”
“It’s not that. It’s… are you messing with me?”
“Just a little. Please come sit.” Hinata said, smirking as she gestured to a set of nearby chairs.
The room he was brought to appeared to be similarly designed to the room he met Sakura in, except instead of a real fireplace, there was an electric one in its place. The woman sat down on one of the chairs beside it, crossing her legs daintily while waiting for him to follow. She was still in that beautiful teal dress, which showed her body off nicely while remaining quite refined. Even in the dim light of this room, there was no doubt she was a beautiful woman, just as fetching as Yu was.
Stop it! Just because Rumi got you a little worked up doesn’t mean you need to become a horn dog.
“Your ball was lovely, though I expected more. Maybe a speech or some presentations. Something.” He replied, taking a seat across from her.
“Ahh, that stuff is for tomorrow and the rest of next week. Tonight was more of a meet-and-greet before the family, and our allies get down to business. I don’t like to add unnecessary fluff when I want people to have a good time.”
“Fair enough. So, Hinata, why am I really here then?”
“Well, I want to officially thank you for saving my granddaughter, of course, not to mention the changes that have happened with my daughter. They are both the future of House Takeyama, and your intervention has changed them both for the better. So, tell me, John, what do you wish for a reward?”
“Reward? I never asked for, or was seeking one.”
“Of course you weren’t. You’re a true paladin. Nevertheless, you have performed a great service to my family, and I would be remiss not to reward someone who braved the dangers of a villain that even someone like All Might had difficulty with. So, what is your wish? I can grant you almost anything. Money, power. The hand of anyone, or even everyone, in marriage who danced with you tonight. Well, maybe not your sister, that would be a little awkward, but barring her, the world is yours.” She replied with that sly smirk again, her blue eyes twinkling in mirth at her joke.
John didn’t even hesitate. “I want Yu and Mei to be able to have their own choice going forward in whom they will marry. No interference from you or your mother.”
“That’s all? No riches or gaggles of women at your beck and call? You could even have me if you so desired.”
John laughed. “As amusing as it would be to have both the mother and the daughter, I have no need or want for that. While she didn’t say it, Yu was worried you were going to try to push yourself on me so you could get an heir that could handle that sword. I already told her that I accept her, and that is more than enough for me. I don’t want to have children with a woman who doesn’t love me, and whom I don’t love back. Even with Sakura’s offer of one of your vaunted Takeyama fruits, I refuse to not be a part of my children’s lives.”
Hinata leaned back in the chair and let out a loud sigh. “Thank god.”
“What?”
“Sorry, sorry. I just…well, while we are being brutally honest here, I did NOT want to go through childbirth again. Yu was a rather large baby and tore me a new one when I pushed her out. Two was more than enough for me, but to have the seed of a true paladin in our bloodline again, I would do it, but I wouldn’t relish the fact. Not to mention, there might be some health problems for me if I tried giving birth again.”
“So are you still set on me providing my seed to your family like your mother?”
“Heavens no. Would it be ideal? Yes, but I would never force you. That is something from our more barbaric times, and I’m afraid my mother can’t wrap it around her head around the idea that the world has changed since she was alive. She tried marrying me off for centuries before I put my foot down to stop it. I was in a relationship with Mordred and Yu’s father, but he died a long, long time ago. It was only his frozen sperm that allowed me to give birth to the pair of them. In a way, Yu and Mei are the only things I have left of the man I loved.
It hurt so much to banish her from the house when she turned eighteen, but she was still in the mindset of a teenager, thinking her actions didn’t have repercussions. I’m not sure where I went wrong with her compared to her sister, but I’ve never claimed to be the perfect mother. From what I can tell, after she met you, she started to grow up and become a woman worthy of respect. Time will tell if that continues, but I have high hopes for my only surviving daughter.”
John wasn’t sure what to say for a moment, then smiled. “She is a good woman; she just needed a little help to realize she doesn’t need the approval of people on the internet to prove her worth.”
“I agree. I love my people, but ever since everyone gained access to phones with cameras and microphones, I swear they have become more and more shallow. If I could turn back time a hundred and fifty years or so, I would seriously consider it. Ahh, I’m looking at the past through rose coloured glasses again, please don’t mind the ruminations of this old lady.” She replied, then looked at him more seriously. “Now, as for your request. That will actually be quite difficult to do. Unless Yu or possibly Mei has a child who is compatible with Godslayer in the next five years, maybe ten at most, Japan will be left defenceless against the Indians and other threats in a few decades.”
“What? I thought you could wield the sword? And isn’t Yu compatible as well?”
“I assume Yu informed you a bit about the sword? Well, the situation is a bit more complicated than what I told her before she left home. Yes, Yu could have wielded it, but when she rejected the family, the sword rejected her as well. That isn’t just my mother being obtuse again, but the weapon itself rejecting her. As for me… well, that is why we need an heir. After the sword rejected me, every time I am forced to use it, it’s damaging my soul. At this rate, I believe I have about twenty-five years remaining before my soul completely shatters and I die.
If I could stop now, I’d still have another few thousand years before I expire more naturally. I know it doesn’t sound like a huge deal, but I went from possibly being able to live for over thirty thousand years to only having a few decades at most. I would have another child myself, but I’m concerned my damaged soul will shorten my life even more by doing so. Both my daughters seemed to take something out of me while I was carrying them, and I’m not sure if I could bring another child to term without dying myself. I have no idea if that is true; there isn’t exactly a lot of research being done on the subject of souls.” She said with a bitter laugh.
“So… you have been shortening your own life to protect Japan for centuries now? Why don’t you ally with some of these other powerful families to take out this Queen Bee once and for all?”
“We have tried. Several times. Frankly, we don’t even know what she really looks like, or even her real name. She always wears a mask and is surrounded by other women in masks as well. She is like a spider, pulling threads from the shadows. We know she has several palaces in India, but we never know where she will be on any given day. She operates by dominating others with her Quirk and forcing them to do whatever she wants. The worst part is that the new drones she makes are not aware they are now under her control and believe her ideas are their own.
The last time we purged the Indian parliament from her clutches, all six national parties had been taken over. Now, they are guarded by no less than two dozen powerful Quirk users at any given time, with hundreds available on short notice. We would have to enter an actual war with India and her people to liberate them, and even then, there is only a slim possibility of catching Queen Bee. Now, with the death of Mordred, the Takeyamas have been on the defensive, with only a few other powerful families around the world able to help keep her hemmed in.”
She paused, then stood up and walked over to John and rested a hand on his shoulder. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make this sound so dire, but time is running out to have a successor capable of both wielding the power of Godslayer and being able to grow up into a person worthy of it. If this were truly something I could handle myself, to spare the next generation from needing to, I would do it gladly. Alas, I cannot.”
He squeezed the hand resting on his shoulder in support. He could hear the pain in her voice as she told him more details of their plight, of the weight that was riding heavily on her shoulders. “Listen, Hinata. I might be able to offer some other solutions for finding and ending this threat, so you don’t need to kill yourself by using that weapon. I’ll need more information first, but as I’m sure your mother told you, I have access to things this world has never seen before. Whether that is some magic or advanced technology, or both, I’m sure I can help you and your family out.”
“You would do that for us?”
“Of course.” He said, smiling up at her. He had no clue how he would manage that, but there was bound to be something in one of these worlds he could use to hunt down this Quirk user. “I would hate for Mei to lose her grandmother before it was time. You should be around to bounce your grandchildren and great-grandchildren on your knee.”
“She is such a smart kid. Did she ever tell you how she followed Yu after she left the house?”
“No. I always thought it was weird that she was her adoptive mother, but I just put it down as another weird thing happening around me and didn’t really question it.”
Hinata took her hand back and sat back down. “Hah, well, that is yet another story when my majordomo thought I was dead. He almost made Yu the new head of the house when she was eight. As for Mei, she missed Yu so much that she built her first pair of rocket boots…”
The two of them talked for another thirty minutes about lighter topics, giving John a little more insight into the current head of the Takeyamas. She genuinely seemed to be a good person, but was stuck dealing with global-level issues, many times personally. The sheer charisma she showed threw him off a bit, as he had expected… well, he didn’t know what he expected from this meeting, but this wasn’t it.
She was in the middle of telling him the story about when Yu’s Quirk had first manifested and the damage done to the west wing of the mansion, when her phone buzzed. She picked it up immediately, her voice going from happiness to business. “Elemental.”
She nodded her head, then hung up. “Sorry, John. I need to go deal with some villains attacking the museum again. Please, enjoy your evening here. There are rooms available for you and your girlfriends if you need.”
Before he could reply, she ripped off her dress then… transformed. Her hands and lower legs turned into clawed appendages, while teal scales covered about half of her body, and a long dragon tail extended behind her. The sides of her face became scaled as well, and two teal horns grew out of the sides of her head, turning upwards and ending nearly two feet above her. Finally, two large wings sprouted out of her back, covered in more teal scales. She gave him a quick smirk at his shocked expression, then shot out of the open window like a lightning bolt, her turbulence shaking everything in the room.
John just blinked in shock.
Did she just turn into a fucking dragon?
John was standing on the balcony overlooking the backyard of the mansion, mulling over his meeting with the drag- with Hinata. Even with that short interaction, he could see why Rumi held such respect for the woman. He certainly didn’t want to try tangling with anyone who could move that fast.
And she has been weakened because she used part of her power to seal her sister? What kind of crazy Quirk did she have before then? Did she turn into an actual dragon?
He wasn’t getting much actual thinking done, as every few minutes he was being interrupted by one of his earlier dance partners, offering him a drink and company. He had no idea where Rumi, Anan, Yu, and Mei had disappeared to, so he had to keep turning the women down. He was hoping they would get the message soon, else-
“Hey, want to try a fruit? No notion what it’s called, but I observed it’s a Takeyama oddity.” An oddly accented voice said beside him.
He turned to his right, and a very beautiful black-haired woman stood beside him with a cut-up plate of some weird fruit he didn’t recognize. Giving up on mulling his thoughts over for now, he accepted the plate and tried some.
At least it’s not booze this time… though I could use a few drinks right now.
“Thank- oh my god, this is delicious.” He said, then began scarfing the fruit down. He couldn’t help himself; it was literally the best thing he had ever tasted in his life.
“No matter. Eat lots. I have others.” She said with a smile, her pearlescent emerald-green eyes watching him intently.
Pearlescent emerald-green eyes… wait, I met this woman before! At the museum.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me there; it was like I was possessed.”
“Ambrosia? That happens to beings sometimes.” She said, then frowned for a moment and gave him a sniff and jumped back, “You smell like… do you know my father?!?!”
“Your father? I don’t even know who you are, let alone know your father-” He started to reply, then nearly dropped over in pain. “Oh my guts… what was that fruit?!”
“Dunno. Found in basement, looked shiny but necessitated a trial. Not as special as I purported, if it just gives a bellyache. Here, you can have.” She said, then tossed a sack beside him. “Need to go. If you live, tell my father to stop sending beings after me. Well, you’re okay, you smell nice, but no more death stick beings. They’re no fun.”
“What in the hell are you even – ARGH!!!!” He shouted, pain coursing through his body. He couldn’t even concentrate enough to cast a healing spell right then. Not that he was sure that he could use his mana right now anyway, it was like it was being forced to the side in his body.
“STOP RIGHT THERE, THIEF! WE GOT YOU NOW!” A male voice shouted behind him.
“JOHN!” A woman’s voice.
“Uh oh. In trouble. Chronosurge!” The woman beside him said, then suddenly disappeared. He could have sworn he saw in her after image that she had turned into a dragon, but he wasn’t able to focus on that right then.
“Crap. She jumped again. Star, secure the casualty. I’ll see if I can find her with Clairvoyance. I swear we will catch that bloody dragon before she dimension hops again.” The man said, then started to chant something in a language John couldn’t really make out.
The pain in his guts was still burning, but it had levelled out enough that his wits were beginning to return to him. He looked up at the man and realized he was chanting a magic spell. He was tall, blonde, with a strong face. He was wearing a suit with a long brown jacket over it. He held what appeared to be a spell tome in one hand and made gestures with the other while chanting. He could see a pack of cigarettes hanging out of his shirt pocket.
“Twinkle, who is that?” He asked through gritted teeth.
“New Order. Pain Blocker.” She said, touching his shoulder. The pain suddenly left his body, nearly as shocking as it had come. “Heh, this will be odd. John, meet my partner, John. John Constantine.”
“Who?”
“Just some asshole that uses magic and chases bad guys across the multiverse. We have to go, Star. I got her.”
“You said that last time.”
“I mean it this time.”
“You said that too, cowboy.”
“Bah! No faith!”
“Fine. John, hold onto that sack. Help is coming for you. And sorry, the pain will return.”
“Wait. Middle Heal! Cure!” He replied, then healed his own body. The mana protested, but the magic did activate.
“Huh, don’t see that every day. Now we’ve got to go. I can’t hold her for much longer.” Constantine said, then pulled Twinkle into a portal.
John just lay there, holding a sack of fruit, wondering once again what in the hell was going on in this world. The pain slammed into him again, albeit at a lesser intensity. Security showed up then, weapons drawn.
“You missed the thief, but don’t worry, I saved your fruits. Anyone got the number for poison control?” He said with a laugh, the movement amplifying the pain even more. It kept increasing again, then thankfully, he blacked out.
Source: Webnovel.com, updated by NovelKeep
Chapters
- Chapter 216 – ♥♥♥ Turning The Tables On A Crazy Rabbit
- Chapter 215 – Insanity Is The Spice Of Life
- Chapter 214 – Elders And Kids Say The Darndest Things
- Chapter 213 – Breakfast And A Show
- Chapter 212 – The Power Of Hunger
- Chapter 211 – The Hunger Grows And The Doctor Strikes
- Chapter 210 – Deviants And Dragons
- Chapter 209 – Dancing His Way Into Women’s Hearts
- Chapter 208 – Growing Respect
- Chapter 207 – Sibling Rivalry
- Chapter 206 – It’s The Results That Count
- Chapter 205 – ♥♥♥ Tenderized Glazed Rabbit
- Chapter 204 – An Unexpected Dinner And A Show
- Chapter 203 – Forethought, Foresight, And Family
- Chapter 202 – The Hero Behind A Mask
- Chapter 201 – Twilight Tears
- Chapter 200 – A Connoisseur Of The Arts
- Chapter 199 – Rising Infernos
- Chapter 198 – Life As A Side Character
- Chapter 197 – Feelings And Egg-cellence
- Chapter 196 – Spicy Dinner Conversations With A Side Of Self-Reflection
- Chapter 195 – Personal Space Is Overrated
- Chapter 194 – Ruminations Of A Rabbit
- Chapter 193 – Carrots And Confessions
- Chapter 192 – Eye Spy With My Little Eye Something That Begins With T
- Chapter 191 – Offers From A Rambling Grandma
- Chapter 190 – Keep An Eye Open When Probing For Mines
- Chapter 189 – She Is A Little eXtra
- Chapter 188 – Not All Walls Can Be “Dig” Through
- Chapter 187 – The Paladin Without A Plan
- Chapter 186 – The Other Side Of The Mountain
- Chapter 185 – Crazy Comes In All Shapes And Sizes
- Chapter 184 – The Difficulties Of Staying On Topic
- Chapter 183 – Sometimers Strikes Again
- Chapter 182 – The Good And The Bad
- Chapter 181 – A Carrot A Day
- Chapter 180 – One Of A Kind
- Chapter 179 – The Night That Luna Fell
- Chapter 178 – A Time For Tea
- Chapter 177 – Sagely Advice
- Chapter 176 – The Rules Of The Game
- Chapter 175 – Escape From U.S.J.
- Chapter 174 – Twilight’s Herald
- Chapter 173 – A Mountain Of Trouble
- Chapter 172 – ♥♥ Clams, Catfolk, And Catnip
- Chapter 171 – For Science!
- Chapter 170 – The Problems With Pelicans
- Chapter 169 – Gunship Diplomacy
- Chapter 168 – Don’t Look A Gift Horse In The Mouth
- Chapter 167 – The Steel Within
- Chapter 166 – ♥♥ Unexpected Consequences
- Chapter 165 – Ignorance Was Bliss
- Chapter 164 – But Wait! There’s More!
- Chapter 163 – Be All That You Don’t Want To Be!
- Chapter 162 – It is Elemental, My Dear John
- Chapter 161 – Dancing With Wolves
- Chapter 160 – Giving Those Naughty Puppies A Whipping
- Chapter 159 – When The Cheap Sunglasses Finally Broke
- Chapter 158 – Honour Is A Heavy Burden To Bear
- Chapter 157 – ♥♥ A Broken Angel In His Arms
- Chapter 156 – Planning, Trauma, And The Mysteries Of A Red Cup
- Chapter 155 – With Eyes Wide Open
- Chapter 154 – ♥ Growing Problems With Communication
- Chapter 153 – One Oath Is As Good As Another, Right?
- Chapter 152 – Predatory Pirate Vs A Wrathful Wizard
- Chapter 151 – The Wizard Of Blackstone
- Chapter 150 – A John A Day Keeps The Doctor Away
- Chapter 149 – Out Of The Frying Pan
- Chapter 148 – A Dangling Thread Of Intrigue
- Chapter 147 – An Anger Fueled By Nuclear Fires
- Chapter 146 – Rock’em, Sock’em, 3049
- Chapter 145 – With Bated Breath
- Chapter 144 – Kinder Surprise Toys Just Ain’t What They Used To Be
- Chapter 143 – ♥♥♥ The Maiden Who Came To The Villain Of DEN
- Chapter 142 – Kids Say The Darndest Things
- Chapter 141 – What Goes Bump In The Middle Of The Afternoon
- Chapter 140 – The Angry Little Landmine That Could
- Chapter 139 – Slow Dance With A Cannon Opener
- Chapter 138 – A HEAP Of Trouble
- Chapter 137 – Snakes Have No Protection From Privacy Breeches
- Chapter 136 – Bargains Over A Cup Of Coffee
- Chapter 135 – Memories Of The Past, Pains Of The Future
- Chapter 134 – More Than One Way To Win A Woman’s Heart
- Chapter 133 – Rougher Side Of The Periphery Life
- Chapter 132 – Troubles And Opportunities
- Chapter 131 – The Unsinkable Suzy Q
- Chapter 130 – Cookin’ With Lasers
- Chapter 129 – The Disposables
- Chapter 128 – Questions? Just Ask Alec! Results May Vary
- Chapter 127 – You Lose Some, You Win Some, Have A Drink And You Will Feel Better
- Chapter 126 – By The Will Of The Light, By The Hand Of John
- Chapter 125 – ♥♥♥ Cloaking His Dagger
- Chapter 124 – A Cup Of Tea
- Chapter 123 – Problems Of People, Politics, And Pelicans
- Chapter 122 – ♥♥ Paradise By The Cockpit Lights
- Chapter 121 – The Duality Of John
- Chapter 120 – ♥ Bittersweet Victories
- Chapter 119 – An Ocean Of Nightmares, An Armful Of Dreams
- Chapter 118 – The Fortunate Son
- Chapter 117 – Eh-ighties Action Star
- Chapter 116 – Wet Towels And Cheap Whiskey
- Chapter 115 – Always Be Discrete In Your Indiscretions
- Chapter 114 – Implied Threats
- Chapter 113 – The Dangers Of Using An Unlicensed Barber
- Chapter 112 – Laughter, Isn’t Always The Best Medicine
- Chapter 111 – To Be A Leader
- Chapter 110 – Prince John, The Man, The Myth, The Legend, The Florida Man
- Chapter 109 – ♥ The Sweet Nothings Of A Strawberry
- Chapter 108 – Blame It On The Wine
- Chapter 107 – The Rage Within
- Chapter 106 – A Harsh Reminder
- Chapter 105 – Walk Softly And Carry A Big Hammer
- Chapter 104 – A, B, C, D, Why Is Alec Messing With Me?
- Chapter 103 – One Hand Giveth, The Other Taketh Away
- Chapter 102 – ♥♥ A Taste Of The Divine
- Chapter 101 – Dancing Amongst The Stars
- Chapter 100 – The Angler VS The Archerfish
- Chapter 99 – Driven Into Darkness
- Chapter 98 – Twin Calamities
- Chapter 97 – John Wayne, The Best Supporting Actor
- Chapter 96 – Delaying The Inevitable
- Chapter 95 – The Black Knight
- Chapter 94 – Tears Of Despair
- Chapter 93 – Nowhere To Go But Up
- Chapter 92 – Lurking Problems
- Chapter 91 – Unraveling World
- Chapter 90 – ♥♥♥ Three’s Company
- Chapter 89 – Arrivals And Departures
- Chapter 88 – Acting On Trust
- Chapter 87 – Meeting Of The Minds
- Chapter 86 – The Burden Of Truth
- Chapter 85 – The Price Of A Friend
- Chapter 84 – An Inconvenient Truth
- Chapter 83 – ♥♥ Naughty Elves Don’t Get To Make Demands
- Chapter 82 – Testing Boundaries
- Chapter 81 – A Test Of Bonds
- Chapter 80 – What About Breakfast At Niki’s
- Chapter 79 – A Master’s Responsibility?
- Chapter 78 – Bread And Circuses
- Chapter 77 – Infinite Frontiers – The Phantom Pain
- Chapter 76 – F-R-I-E-N-D-S
- Chapter 75 – ♥♥ Ruining A Princess
- Chapter 74 – Sibling Sideshow
- Chapter 73 – Burgers, Beings, Bombers, And Broken Noses
- Chapter 72 – Are Elves Bullies Too?
- Chapter 71 – The Six Billion GSC Man
- Chapter 70 – The Black Leather White Knight
- Chapter 69 – Debts
- Chapter 68 – Temptations
- Chapter 67 – A Brief History Of Infinite Frontiers
- Chapter 66 – Lost And Found
- Chapter 65 – Elves Are Cuter When They Are Bullied
- Chapter 64 – No Replacement For Displacement
- Chapter 63 – You Know What They Say About Assumptions?
- Chapter 62 – When In Doubt, Blame The Intern
- Chapter 61 – A 12-Gauge Send Off
- Chapter 60 – ♥♥♥ Playful Punishments With Fantasy Physics
- Chapter 59 – She Is A Good Girl, One Way Or Another
- Chapter 58 – Mother Knows Best
- Chapter 57 – She Is A Real Passenger Princess
- Chapter 56 – Yes, Embrace Your Anger
- Chapter 55 – Daddy Issues? Better Call John
- Chapter 54 – A Wild Pink-Haired Menace Has Appeared
- Chapter 53 – The Wonderful Wizard Of HOTD
- Chapter 52 – A Midnight Dance
- Chapter 51 – ♥♥♥ The Queen Of Awkward Timing
- Chapter 50 – ♥ The More Things Change, The More They Stay The Same
- Chapter 49 – Call Of The Canon
- Chapter 48 – Saved By The GRRRRAAAHHH!!!
- Chapter 47 – How The Turn Tables
- Chapter 46 – The Reality Of Dreams
- Chapter 45 – She Knows My Name
- Chapter 44 – Talk To Me Goose
- Chapter 43 – The Man Who Chose The Bear(folk)
- Chapter 42 – Mostly Harmless
- Chapter 41 – A Relaxing Ride
- Chapter 40 – Duck, Duck, Goose, Owl?
- Chapter 39 – Stirring The Pot
- Chapter 38 – Ones True Nature
- Chapter 37 – What Smells Worse Than Wet Dog?
- Chapter 36 – ♥♥♥ Bunnies Are Still The Best
- Chapter 35 – Five Gals Chatting, Four Contracts Binding, Three Faces Blushing, Two Damsels Dodging, And An Annoyed Paladin In A Pear Tree
- Chapter 34 – Nicknames And Pillow Friends
- Chapter 33 – Medieval Casting Couch
- Chapter 32 – Well, That’s No Ordinary Rabbit!
- Chapter 31 – Revelations
- Chapter 30 – The Start Of A Legend
- Chapter 29 – ♥ Love, War, And Terrible Back Pains
- Chapter 28 – Pains Of The Past, Present, And Future
- Chapter 27 – Promises And Pitfalls
- Chapter 26 – Cruel And Unusual Co-workers
- Chapter 25 – ♥♥ One-Sided Family Planning
- Chapter 24 – The Principle VS The Fallen
- Chapter 23 – The Devil’s Due
- Chapter 22 – The Principal Strikes Back!
- Chapter 21 – Power Of Destruction And Power Naps
- Chapter 20 – Student Council VS Principle Wayne
- Chapter 19 – That Pent Up Aggression Needs An Outlet
- Chapter 18 – Space Aged Tractor Simulator 2000 W/Cat Herding DLC
- Chapter 17 – Not The Cologne I Was Looking For
- Chapter 16 – It’s A Trap!
- Chapter 15 – The Clothes Make The Man
- Chapter 14 – You Can Never Avoid The Bureaucracy
- Chapter 13 – Set For Ludicrous Speed
- Chapter 12 – Consequences Of Drinking The Nectar Of The Gods
- Chapter 11 – Cuddles and Conundrums
- Chapter 10 – ♥♥♥ Bunnies Are Just The Best
- Chapter 9 – The Dangers Of Health Drinks
- Chapter 8 – Deals, Contracts, And Unwise Spending Habits
- Chapter 7 – Day Drinking, The Proper Way To Train Magic
- Chapter 6 – Why Are There Freaking Dinosaurs!
- Chapter 5 – This Show Needs An Epilepsy Warning
- Chapter 4 – No Good Deed Goes Unpunished
- Chapter 3 – Karma vs Canon
- Chapter 2 – Noise Violation Consequences
- Chapter 1 – High School of the Nope
- Prologue – Truck-Kun’s Collateral Damage