Chapter 151: Terrence

“Lup tik, romanik,” The little alien said, its voice mousy, parallel to its size. “Fanumos risikla shaniken tun, tik!”

“Am I supposed to understand that?” Jimmy tried to keep his voice down, “I’m not part of your species, little guy, I don’t understand shit.”

To give the alien the general idea that they could not communicate normally, on account to their languages being vastly different, he planted a few more thoughts in its head. He wanted to prompt the alien to communicate in the way that Jimmy wanted, which was their only way of communication, really, but the alien did not cooperate.

Halfway to planting some thoughts into its head, the alien jumped off of Jimmy’s palm, and headed towards the third room in line. The door was closed, so the alien started revving in place as it tried to push it, but his performance was more like a guide, rather than panic, or the inability to cooperate. It was telling Jimmy which room to go into.

Jimmy walked over, and sure enough, he saw a bunch of tech through the window of the third room. This room was small, identical in size to every other room across the east side of the corridor, but the main difference with this one, was that it was stuffed with gadgets like a thanksgiving turkey was stuffed with onions!

His eyes shone brighter than the stars when he saw the gadgets, and he whispered, “Now that’s a fucking jackpot!”

Jimmy then turned the handle, pushed the small, steel door open, and went inside. The little alien rushed in, and disappeared within one of the cardboard boxes, as if it was looking for something.

The gadgets didn’t look like weapons, not even a little bit. In fact, this room was probably used to stuff tools, or gadgets that the prior inhabitants considered as non-essential, or perhaps even old.

To Jimmy, however, this was a gold mine! Sure, half if not more of the gadgets may be broken, or unusable, but there were hundreds of them here, stuffed together in one room as if there was no other place to put them! From tiny, to small, to big, the gadgets looked like a rainbow together! There were so many colors.

Jimmy grabbed one that he found interesting. He found a gauntlet that had a pristine, thin shaped hook on it. It looked like a grappling hook, it was small, sure, but it could come in handy if he had to slip into a spot that dinosaurs couldn’t reach.

He put the gauntlet on, and mumbled, “Okay… how do I use this? Fucking hell, I left that shitty oxygen reading gauntlet over the control panel as well! Why do I keep forgetting shit all of a sudden? Nevermind, that gauntlet was useless anyway.”

It was hard to figure out how to use tools that he never had the pleasure of using, or even seeing before, but he gave it a shot nonetheless. The gauntlet was made out of stainless steel, there weren’t any buttons that he could push to unleash the hook, so he was stumped.

“What a useless fucking grappling hook,” He sighed, frustrated.

“That’s no grappling hook,” A tiny, albeit familiar voice sounded out in the room. “It’s a high-potency tranquilizer, and it can put an Argentinousaurus to sleep for three days.”

The tiny alien then dragged its body out of one of the many cardboard boxes, and called attention to himself. He was wearing a tiny wristband now, one that he didn’t have before, and it was plain obvious that the wristband was an inter-species translator. Its use, in this particular situation, was god-sent.

“Ah, you found yourself a little translator wristband,” He said, “You seem to know this place well. Do you think there’s anything worth looting in this damned bunker?”

“You’re a caveman,” The little alien said, “Anything here would be beyond your comprehension.”

Jimmy was stunned by how bold the alien was. He could crush the fucker to death with one kick if he wanted to, and yet he had to pretend that he meant no harm, just for the sake of figuring out what this bunker had to give him.

Nevertheless, he still tried to tickle the alien’s delicate senses, so he added, “I may be a caveman, but I freed you from that shitehole of a container that you’ve been trapped in for at least seventeen years. Don’t you think that you owe me a thank you at the very least? I can put you back in the container if I wanted to.”

The alien did not seem pleased, but nevertheless, he was smart enough to recognize the threat, so he was prompted to cooperate. An inter-species translator wasn’t exactly enough to keep him from getting squashed, after all.

“Forgive me, I’ve been stuck here for too long. Not to mention, your friend nearly killed me with her bosoms yesterday.” It said, “Let’s start over, let me introduce myself properly. My name is Zarothixanam Vreltik Zenzar Morthasilukus Thalbam-bam Hundunsun Shawn the Third.”

Stunned by the little guy’s absurdly long name, he joked, “Shawn the third? So you had a father, and forefather with the same name?”

“Of course not, my father’s name was Zarothixanam Vreltik Zenzar- wait… you’re mocking me, aren’t you?” It stopped blurting names mid sentence, “Do you have grounds to mock my name? What’s your name? Tart-lard Tit-head the Second?”

Under normal circumstances, Jimmy would be offended, but this was the best joke he has heard ever since he transmigrated into this planet. It was fun to be in the same room with someone who could keep up with his humor, even if that someone was a one-foot tall alien.

For that matter, he chuckled, and said, “Touche, little man, I do love tits. What should I call you, then? Do you have a short nickname you’d rather go by?”

Contemplative, it answered, “I’ve traveled many worlds… but there is a name that stuck with me over the past six-hundred years. Terrence, I always liked the name Terrence, so that is what you’re going to address me as.”

“Okay, Terrence,” He nodded, “My name is Jimmy.”

“It’s a pleasure,” Terrence nodded, satisfied that he was finally being respected, “May I ask how you broke in here? The ’bunker’ as you call it, was sealed shut. Your stone tools certainly couldn’t have been strong enough to break the main entrance.”

Jimmy did not know how to answer this question without sounding rude. If he answered with the first words that popped up in his head, he’d piss Terrence off beyond bounds, so he had to restructure the words in his head for a moment, so he could answer like a gentleman.

“Animals bear magic on this planet, and so do us humans. I’m sure you know that?” He first said, “My magic is unique, possibly to a fault. I’ve discovered that when I use my penis to ejaculate semen, the semen hardens into a ball harder than steel, and travels at what I assume is the speed of sound? Anyway, I ejaculated near the steel door a few times, until I finally broke in.”

“Fascinating!” Terrence exclaimed, and thankfully, he didn’t seem offended, “I cannot even start calculating how the momentum derivative, and the concentrated PSI impact danced with each other as your semen pierced through the main entrance! There are plasma cannons that would pale in comparison to the result you’ve achieved!”

“Plasma cannons can’t keep up with my explosive penis, hehe,” He joked.

“Let me see your penis,” Terrence demanded abruptly, “I must study it.”

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