Chapter 242: “What in the tree-humping sh*t munching wh*re is a tiger?”

Jimmy appreciated Zik’s nearly cross-eyed, rageful enthusiasm, but despite the promises he made, he didn’t need unintentionally suicidal cavemen ruining the greatest, and of course safest advantage they had over the enemy.

The whole point behind quadrupling the clones in size was so his people wouldn’t be anywhere close to the battlefield. He wanted to play it safe, for as long as possible, so he had to approach Zik’s offer carefully, as in a way, he didn’t want to ruin the grand enthusiasm of a man that wanted to help.

For that matter, he said, “We’ll be going together. I need to make sure the Compies attack when they’re supposed to, and don’t run away either.”

“What would these big shit munchers even be scared of?” Zik asked, “Why would they run away?”

“They can fly away, is what I meant.” He followed along, “Look at them… they’re still jittery about the whole flying thing. They were sound asleep a moment ago, and they do not appreciate being woken up.”

“Let’s hope they don’t fly away then, but I’m coming with you, you said it yourself.” Zik said, and even swerved around in his spot, cranked up with the crave for bloodshed. “I want to see the looks on their faces when they realize that we fucked them in the ass.”

“We won’t be seeing their faces,” He chuckled. “We’re only leading the clones to the right direction, Zik, but after that, after we get blocked by a bunch of cliffs, I’m assuming, the clones are gonna have to fly solo. There is no point in us going with them into battle, or else we’ll get stuck somewhere at the tip of the mountain.”

Zik did not like that answer. He really wanted to see the fear within the eyes of the enemy, and he did not like being deprived of that privilege. He had been traveling up and down the mountainside ever since the crack of dawn, he hadn’t slept for over twenty hours, and he had made plenty of contributions today, so he felt that he deserved the reward he asked for.

Zik tried to be a sensible, calm human when he could, but in this situation, with a large platoon of one-thousand people being hours away from their home, with a massacre labeled behind the intent of their march, he had lost all reasons to forgive the enemy. Children he could spare, but borderline evil adults? Never! He wanted to see them die, but since Jimmy’s plans said otherwise, he was forced to make compromises, out of the respect he had for him firstly, along with the rest of the reasons.

So at last, he sighed, and said, “Alright, then, let’s make sure we get them all tonight. I’ll walk over there tomorrow, and piss on their lifeless heads. Cock-sucking sons of whores…”

“Easy tiger,” Jimmy chuckled.

“What in the tree-humping shit munching whore is a tiger?” Zik exclaimed, frantic, and perhaps even dehydrated.

“Doesn’t matter,” He held his head, and couldn’t help smiling.

Anyway, Gnegor, Jimmy’s father, approached him afterwards, and said, “I’m glad you came back to your senses, son. I don’t understand what you did to get those… shit munchers to fly, but it looks like you know what you’re doing. I’m happy you didn’t choose the path of a coward, because it’s hard to ever come back from it.”

“I don’t care for bravery,” He said, completely derailing what his father just said. “Fighting the enemy without having the edge, or without being sure you can win, is a complete waste of time. We lost more than half of our tribe to damn Giants, and I don’t intend to let the wars those giants started take any more lives. Protecting our people is my top priority, and everything else can go to hell for all I care.”

Gnegor was pissed off, but then again, his son’s words pierced through his thick head for once. He too was aware of the advantage they had over the enemy now, so he tried not to care about the details stashed in-between, rather than the clashing philosophies of bravery. Deep down, just like any father, he wished that his son didn’t take bravery or its counter-part so lightly, but as the situation had it, they now had the opportunity to discuss the matter in the future. The odds of them living long enough to see today’s sunrise, and the one after that, increased significantly, so for now, he had to compromise.

“I suppose tribe Chiefs should care about their people the most, and protect them…” Gnegor sighed, “I didn’t understand why our people were so quick to call you our new Chief, and I still don’t understand them fully, but maybe that’s why no one ever called me a Chief? I haven’t earned it, it’s not for me.”

“It’s not for anyone,” He chuckled, “The old Chief died listening to elders who bit more than they could chew. If the elders tried to distract the Giants instead, so the rest could run, we’d have a lot more hunters today.”

Before Gnegor could’ve answered, Jimmy then added, “Let’s not waste any more time. I plan to be back here before sunrise, so I need you to go inside, and make sure the shooters don’t wander off. We don’t need to waste time looking for them when we need them. Oh, and also, gather the archers together as well. The forest people, because I need them to come with me.”

“Alright,” Gnegor nodded.

Afterwards, he held on to his plasma rifle with both hands, and dashed across the mountainside, towards the home cavern. Gnegor was one of the shooters, he had been amongst the first to volunteer, and he had gotten quite good at handling his new weapon.

Now, with the advantage they had over the enemy being clear in his head, he was willing to do anything he could in order to build on that advantage. He did like the fact that the archers were involved, because the same archer made a decent contribution in the prior battle far back on the grasslands, so he could already start to picture what his son was thinking. He knew that his son wanted to overwhelm the enemy far before they got anywhere close to the tribe’s home cavern, and he was right.

Jimmy turned to Zik, and said, “Have you been up the mountain before? We need to bring Rampage along, to give the archers a ride, but he shouldn’t be able to fit through the path across the mountain, right?”

“I haven’t hiked that far, but I know for a fact there is a tight spot close to a hill where Rampage can’t fit through.” Zik answered, “The path is straight, though, so the archers will have a good view of the enemy. It’s far away from home too, so we’ll have plenty of time to get the archers back to safety.”

“Alright, then,” He smiled, “Wake your buddy up. We’ll be leaving soon.”

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