Chapter 229: T-Rex D*ldo (not kidding)

Jimmy looked at the orb, took a few steps back, and waited in anticipation for it to unfold whatever it was used for.

Two minutes in, as the orb kept vibrating, it emitted increasingly intense frequencies, so he began to feel that this item was yet another useless dud. He was just about ready to kick it away, but he was forced to take a few more steps back, because the frequency the orb emitted shot his ears as if someone was pushing long nails down his eardrums!

“Aah!” He screamed, covering his ears, pressing on them, but it was hardly effective. “Fuck!”

Jimmy could not withstand the sound, so he ran away from it as fast as he could. As he ran away, he could tell that the Compy clone he had brought along with him, was not affected by the frequency whatsoever. It minded its business, and it didn’t even bother to follow after him, which pissed him off quite a bit.

’I’m smarter than a Compy, God damn it!’ He thought, ’Does the fucker even have ears? Why am I the only one being tortured?’

Jimmy was pissed, but thankfully the loud frequency went away before he was driven insane by it. The horrid part of the vibrations that nearly ruptured his eardrums only lasted twenty seconds, and it did feel like something was screaming in his ears for a lifetime, yes, but at least the worst part was over.

Jimmy approached the orb afterwards, cautious, with his ears covered, just in case that horrid frequency came back, but as he got closer, he noticed that the orb was doing what his intuition had initially told him it would do; It was transforming!

Jimmy wasn’t sure how the mechanics worked, but judging from the dark, liquid-like metal that hurled around within the boundaries of the transforming orb, he was half-sure that he was looking at nano-bots!

Aliens inventing, and using nano-bots may be something of the past for them, something they invented to kill their time with, and something that was impractical in whatever it was the alien civilizations were doing now, but to Jimmy, it was a grand discovery! He didn’t know how to make nano-robots himself, obviously, so his mind raced as he saw the orb transform, and even grow in size!

He didn’t know what to expect, he was hoping that it was a weapon of sorts, so he sat close to the former orb, and waited for ten whole minutes, up until it finished its transformation. If it turned out to be something good, he’d have to spend a decent amount of time figuring out how to implement the item in the war, which he looked forward to, assuming it was applicable.

At last, as he looked at the results, he didn’t know how to feel. He got right back to being pissed, for one thing, but then again, he had to admit that he was looking at something funny, hilarious, even!

“That’s a weapon, alright,” He sighed, and couldn’t help chuckling afterwards. “What a horrible time to find a dildo.”

The orb did in fact transform into a dildo, three feet long too. He wracked his brain, and couldn’t find another explanation for what he was looking at.

Alien civilizations were typically advanced, at least the ones that had visited the dinosaur-riddled planet he was in, but it would appear that even advanced, super-intelligent creatures needed a large dildo in them once in a while.

“I’ll have Anna look at this later,” He said, and then stood up, “I’m no expert, but that looks a lot like a T-rex penis. Too pink… too big, too much like a cone, but maybe this was what the bastards that used to live here preferred? Maybe they had a dinosaur kink? Who am I to judge?”

Jimmy could feel his IQ points drop the more he thought, and spoke of the matter, so at some point he decided to push this matter aside. He could not implement this dinosaur dildo in the war his tribe was suffering through, that goes without saying, but other than that, he didn’t know how to ’deactivate’ the dildo either.

He didn’t see any buttons, for one thing, and quite frankly, the one meter long dildo looked wet too, too wet for his comfort, as if someone had slobbered on it already, so he walked around it, and figured that at some point, he’d get an alien ape to grab the dildo, get it out of the bunker, and throw it off of the cliff. He didn’t plan on touching it himself, not by a longshot, so he left it close to the middle of the main hall, and had to move on to the fourth item on the line.

This one was also an orb, a bigger one. Its main distinction from the previous orb was that this one was made out of steel, and it was bigger than his palm by a couple of inches.

“Pushing these damn orb buttons hasn’t gotten me anywhere…” He held his breath, “But maybe this one transforms into a cool robot or some shit? I gotta give it a shot.”

Jimmy was hesitant, but he pressed it anyway, and then placed the orb on the ground.

This time around, he had the infinite wisdom to walk away from it as soon as he felt the orb vibrate. He didn’t want to get his eardrums pierced for the second time, as he still was far away from recovering from the first vibrating frequencies. He wanted to preserve his mental peace as best as he could, as at this point, the laugh he got from the dildo, surprisingly helped him manage his pain in general, so he wanted to cultivate the little bit of focus, and attention he had already developed.

Jimmy walked on the other side of the bunker, and even walked into the tunnel that led to the cloning room. When he started hearing the vibrations, even from such a decent distance, he walked further into the tunnel, until he couldn’t hear the frequency whatsoever.

He wanted to muster a positive attitude, so he was willing to give the steel orb a solid ten minutes, to let it transform into whatever the hell it could shift into.

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