Chapter 117: Addictive

She squirmed when this thumb suddenly swiped her cheek.

“Why is your face so red Celine?” His whisper made her eyes snap open again, and when she took in a breath she could only smell him. Thick, masculine wood and smoke yet soothing in a strange way.

“What are you thinking?” He seemed to study her eyes with fascination on his.

She immediately composed herself, “I…I wasn’t thinking anything.”

“Liar.” He remarked, snuggling her closer. He had seen a thousand thoughts darting through her eyes in a second. It felt extremely good to be this close to her. Close enough that he could feel her breath, inhale her scent and realize that he could almost kiss her, almost.

“You shouldn’t be sleeping next to me.” She said.

“There’s only one bed in here, and believe it or not I’d rather sleep in a bed than anywhere else.”

“Then I’ll go sleep on the…” She tried to move but couldn’t, he had her held closely against him, he didn’t seem to be making an effort at all but she really couldn’t move.

His forehead rested against her own and he felt her tense up, “Relax and get some sleep Celine. I won’t eat you up before the sun comes out.” He whispered to her, his words like a gentle caress in the dark.

Eventually he felt her slowly release the sharp tension in her body, choicelessly, her breathing settled and silence hung in the moment like a dormant bell as she slowly fell asleep. He could feel the heat of her body seeping into his, he could feel how soft and smooth her skin was.

He let himself indulge in this moment, greedily pulling her closer and feeling her snuggle against him resting her head against his chest, and her arm snaked over his stomach holding onto him.

That caused him to feel a strange tingle of pleasure rush through him.

By morning it would all go back to normal, he would have to keep his eyes away even if she walked into a room, he would have to pretend he didn’t see her even if she were right next to him.

’I hope you stay away from me from now on, I don’t want this to ever repeat itself again.’

Those words resounded in his head again, perhaps for the hundredth time now.

’Five years ago I told you I wanted to spend the night with you on a whim, I was hurt so I did something reckless to cover up that pain, we slept together and we both know it was only a one time thing, that’s completely over now.’

Yes, it was over now. But why couldn’t he forget it? He still remembered every touch, every kiss, like it was burned into his memory never to be forgotten again.

She wanted him to stay away from her, and he had been fulfilling that request of hers even if it was slowly killing him on the inside.

He would walk away from her like a stranger who didn’t long to be near her, long to hold her.

This…him having her in his arms was a rare single moment that he probably wouldn’t encounter again, he closed his eyes savoring this feeling he might never have again, not realizing when he fell to the charms of a lulling sleep.

*****

Celine stirred awake, stiffening when she felt the strong arms encircled around her waist. She slowly opened her eyes only to be met with Tristan’s handsome face close to hers.

He was still fast asleep.

Her first instinct was to slip out of his arms and leave quietly, but she couldn’t move, not when she was entranced by the face she just woke up to.

He had beautiful eyes with enviably long lashes framing them, a tall nose which led down to nice, shapely thin lips, she could still remember the sweetness and warmth of them when they kissed her.

Her fingers lightly, very lightly trailed his lips and she held her breath when he stirred a bit, but he didn’t wake up. He seemed to be in a deep and peaceful sleep.

He deserved the rest. She thought. He always buried himself in work as if he had something to run away from.

A thin ache spread within her chest as she thought of that, the ache intensified when she realized she had woken up to reality again.

And in reality, she wasn’t supposed to be this close to him, wasn’t supposed to like waking up in his arms and seeing his face first before anything else.

This awkwardly complicated situation between them, it was best they go back to being strangers again. After six months when she sold her shares, she would never see him again.

Tears silently welled up in her eyes and she caressed his face in her palm. It hurt, and she couldn’t understand why she was feeling so much pain.

There was absolutely nothing between them. What did he mean to her for her to always feel hurt because of him?

Suddenly, his eyes opened at that moment, so abruptly as if he hadn’t been asleep at all.

Celine froze, not knowing how to react for a while until she quickly pulled her hand away from his face but he grabbed it.

He held her small hand in his own for some time before slowly placing it back against his cheek, where it had been before he woke up. His eyes closed and he leaned into the touch of her hand as if that touch meant everything to him.

Celine’s heart clenched.

She didn’t want to feel this way, and she didn’t want him acting this way because it made it harder for her to avoid it, harder to run away from it.

She snatched her hand away, immediately getting off the bed. There was still a faint throbbing in her head but it wasn’t as intense as it had been last night.

“I have to go.” She said, grabbing her bag as she hurried out of the room. She ran as if that would distract her from thinking about this… about him.

…..

Tristan watched her leave but he made no move to stop her. He glanced down at the empty spot beside him on the bed where she had been just a few seconds ago, the spot retained some of her warmth and he caressed that warmth as if to fill up some of the emptiness he was beginning to feel inside but even that warmth slowly faded away.

He’d known once the sun rose, it would be over again, just like that night. But it still sent a strange feeling of loss to weigh heavily in his chest.

Sighing, he ran his fingers through his hair.

He laid there for a long time, long enough until not even a speck of her warmth remained by his side, only then did he get out of the bed, picking up his coat and draping it over his back.

He stopped halfway to the entrance of the ward, looking back at the bed for a moment before turning away.

Celine Roberts, she was an incredibly addictive woman, he realized. The minute you have her, the minute you learn her merits, you get so hopelessly addicted that you can’t quit her no matter how hard you try. That same addiction scared him now, because underneath that addiction, he knew another feeling was awakening in his heart, and if he couldn’t turn his back from that feeling, it was best never to acknowledge it.

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