Chapter 4: Not The First Time

Celine didn’t know how she manged to pull herself out of Ian’s villa amidst the shocked disappointment that ate up her heart.

When the chilly night blew it’s cold against her skin, that was when she seemed to awaken to reality to fully digest what she had witnessed inside.

A sickly disgusting feeling arose in her stomach.

What had she been thinking, had she truly believed that a man would stick to her when she had denied him physical pleasure.

As the self blame began to take root in her mind, she realized that the only reason she had never thought he would seek another woman was because she’d truly trusted him.

Was she really to blame?

She had given him her heart and everything else she could except her body. She’d loved him enough to want to do anything for him, if he had expressed even for a moment that he wouldn’t be able to wait, she knew she would have broken whatever vow she made for her love for him.

But the reason she never thought he would betray her was because he swore to wait for her, he swore to do that with the never ending promise that he loved her.

Was that how shallow his so called love had been?

If he had truly loved her, would he not wait for her for two more days? No, a few more hours and she would have given herself to him.

If he had been just a little bit more patient…

Self deprecation shone in her blue eyes.

Being betrayed by a loved one brought a deep sense of self hatred. It almost drowned Celine that she couldn’t move.

She knew that if there was something Ian couldn’t provide for her and another man gave it, no matter what she wouldn’t be able to betray her love for him because her love had been true and his…?

She doubted if he ever truly loved her at all.

She wasn’t sure of that thought, not until he chased after her along the quiet roads outside his villa.

He yanked her with so much force after calling her name several times but she refused to answer.

“Celine, don’t leave me, what happened in there wasn’t my fault. Don’t go off breaking our engagement for this.” Though his voice shook and he put so much emotion on his face as he could, his eyes couldn’t conceal the selfish desire to keep her bound to him no matter what.

“Not your fault? Ian you said you loved me, I believed you did yet you sleep with another woman and say it’s not your fault?”

Celine couldn’t believe her own ears.

He’d clearly betrayed her, yet was trying to shirk off the blame and not taking responsibility for his own actions.

“Look I couldn’t control myself okay and it happened, I know I did you wrong and I swear I’ll make it up to you, please let’s just talk about this.”

“You lost control and slept with my own sister?” The words felt like acid on her tongue burning so fiercely it hurt.

Her sister…

Her heart was still breaking terribly.

“I’m sorry Celine, please…you know I would never hurt you right?”

Yes, she knew he would never hurt her if his love had been as strong as he made her believe it was. Now she realized his words had never matched what was truly in his heart.

She’d felt it on several occasions, a powerful instinctive intuition that came with being a woman but she ignored it.

In this day and age, true love was rare to find, what she’d had with Ian had felt like true love, how could she let a mere gut feeling come in between.

’No, you can’t come over tonight. I have this thing going on with friends, I’ll see you some other time.’

’Oh that voice you just heard? It’s Dylan’s girlfriend. Dylan and the guys came over tonight. Nah you can’t come, they’re all my friends, I’m scared you’d feel out of place.’

’Something got in Brittany’s eyes, you know I don’t want people to think I’m a terrible boss, if she goes out with red eyes everyone will think I did something wrong to her, so I helped her blow out a speck of dust.’

All these situations and excuses when she had almost caught him in the act in the past, she had been stupid to ignore them.

She was paying for not listening to her intuition, she was paying for deliberately being blind all in the name of love.

But isn’t that what love does to people, it blinds them.

“Say something Celine, we can work things out right? Give me another chance and I’ll make sure to set things right.”

“This isn’t the first time right?” Celine suddenly said, her whole body completely weakened by everything.

The country’s hottest celebrities getting together had boosted their careers massively, the success that came with falling in love had made her see a fairytale and blinded her to it all.

It all dawned on her now that the biggest benefits of this relationship to Ian had been the big jump his career had taken after they announced their relationship.

Ian was speechless at her question.

That in itself was a confirmation that made her tears fall even more but she forced composure wiping them off.

“Tell me Ian, what was I to you really? A lover? The woman you wanted to spend your wole life with? Or just a popular figure who’ll make your career shine brighter?”

“What are you even…?”

“Tell me!” The rose colored glasses had been lowered and the man in front of her disgusted her more than anything, along with the pain came anger.

What answer had she been hoping to hear from him? She knew it wouldn’t be anything good, but what she didn’t know was that within the fake innocence of the man she loved and his hidden betrayal, there was a monster that lurked within.

A monster he had been keeping behind the pretense of a warm loving boyfriend.

“Stop making a fucking big deal out of this Celine! Do you know how irritating you’re being right now? So I fucked another woman, big deal, it’s not as if no one else has ever done it before so quit giving me crap about it!”

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